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Author Topic: Ready-made excuses for being discovered in the wrong place  (Read 2027 times)

Offline dobob

There's an ongoing UKP thread about meeting WGs in the street, but that has never been a particularly worry of mine - just smile, say hello and, if you're with someone who doesn't know about your hobby, say "she's someone, I used to work with" - or maybe "she's someone who used to do some jobs for me", which is actually true, even though they were blowjobs!).

What I would like is a really good ready-made line to take if I was ever spotted by my wife or a friend, while waiting to enter or leaving somewhere I really didn't ought to be. The best I can think of for a residential house is to say "I was passing by and saw the owner drop something as they went in and was calling to let them know.". But that is a bit hard to substantiate if you are caught waiting to enter and it doesn't work at all if it's an apartment block (unless you equip yourself with a bogus bit of lost property with the house or flat number on it).

Any thoughts?

Cheers!

Offline Bonker

Depends on your job, lifestyle, habits...doesn't it?
I don't think there's a general lie to cover every situation.

Well, maybe senility or substance abuse.

TailSeeker

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Esty seller about a custom gift, if a wife of girlfriend, that you wanted to check before committing. Works similarly for work colleague if you're in a relationship. If not, you'll need another excuse. I'd aim for sale on eBay/Facebook marketplace, or similar.

Offline MilleMiglia

Depends on your job, lifestyle, habits...doesn't it?
I don't think there's a general lie to cover every situation.

Well, maybe senility or substance abuse.

Very true. 

Offline shagmore

Unfortunately there will not be a 1 line fits all. It will depend on your job, if your a trade person, then easy, but if office worker not so.

The Ebay seller one is a good line, but then you could be asked to show your eBay history etc.


Offline Home Alone

Thanks, shagmore; I hadn't a clue what an 'Esty seller' was!

Maybe a lesson to spellcheck if you're posting in the small hours. ;)

Esty seller about a custom gift, if a wife of girlfriend, that you wanted to check before committing. Works similarly for work colleague if you're in a relationship. If not, you'll need another excuse. I'd aim for sale on eBay/Facebook marketplace, or similar.

Offline Ali Katt

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Simple excuse "there's a reason why I fuck escorts and it's because you no longer satisfy me".

Offline Happylad

As an elderly widower who usually saw the ladies at my own home there was no problem.  If questioned I always replied "Social Services just checking up on me", although I did have some difficulty with one busy-body who tried to sign me up for Meals On Wheels.

Offline Thecunninglinguist

As an elderly widower who usually saw the ladies at my own home there was no problem.  If questioned I always replied "Social Services just checking up on me", although I did have some difficulty with one busy-body who tried to sign me up for Meals On Wheels.
You should have told them you already received Feels on Wheels  :D

TailSeeker

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Thanks, shagmore; I hadn't a clue what an 'Esty seller' was!

Maybe a lesson to spellcheck if you're posting in the small hours. ;)

Edit: bugger just realised you were pointing out my phone keeps wanting to make etsy, esty.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2019, 01:16:01 am by TailSeeker »

brandonpete

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A Post of mine copied and pasted from a previous thread.......Up until she retired I used to see a WG (reviewed)that lived not 2mins walk from where I live...the chances of someone knowing me are fairly high...the chances that the same person/people knowing she  was on the game and knowing me as well are fairly low and to be honest if a Wg moved into my street and I fancied seeing her I would....to me it's the same as going into any WG's place of work...if you look furtive and conspicuous then you'll be spotted. But as the lads have already said it's about having,not an excuse,but a reason..E.G  "going to look at 'X' you'd seen on ebay...found a purse or credit card...just look the person in the eye and tell them the truth,your truth. There's also a WG (again reviewed),that used to use the same pub on a Friday as my wife and I used..her and my wife became,not good friends, but someone she used to enjoy a chat with...simply because I introduced her to my wife as someone I used to work with..and we made sure that there were no 'knowing looks' at each other,no 'footsee' under the table,just straight forward banter...and when I used to punt with her nothing was mentioned about the pub meetings,it was just business...to me punting isn't just about the 'shag',the HJob.the BJ...it's the experience and to do it,I feel that you need a lot of 'front' and no sense of guilt or shame..if you feel that,you'll show it..and sooner rather than later you'll get caught.

Online sparkus

You'll probably  :scare: at this, but a few times OH has asked to borrow my Oyster in emergencies, things like her mother visiting and hers being broken and me not needing it that day.  Following them topping it up she has asked what I was doing certain places but I always reply with obscure answers such as "I heard there was a good secondhand shop there selling cheap 90s games" or even "I went to check out an amazing bike I saw on Gumtree that the owner didn't know its worth but it was already gone by the time I got there", surprisingly these never fail (feel free to copy/adapt).

Likewise, a mate saw me near his one day (I did used to live round there but not for years) and the best I could think of on the spot was that I was having a walk through "for old times' sake".  This was after the event and I did see him across the road but pretended not to!

Offline Ali Katt

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You'll probably  :scare: at this, but a few times OH has asked to borrow my Oyster in emergencies, things like her mother visiting and hers being broken and me not needing it that day.  Following them topping it up she has asked what I was doing certain places but I always reply with obscure answers such as "I heard there was a good secondhand shop there selling cheap 90s games" or even "I went to check out an amazing bike I saw on Gumtree that the owner didn't know its worth but it was already gone by the time I got there", surprisingly these never fail (feel free to copy/adapt).

Likewise, a mate saw me near his one day (I did used to live round there but not for years) and the best I could think of on the spot was that I was having a walk through "for old times' sake".  This was after the event and I did see him across the road but pretended not to!
Somebody as sad as me. Although I stopped collecting a couple of years ago as I no longer have the space.

Offline woulddoanything

Have used buying and selling off ebay and craigslist as an excuse before. Had some woman tut at me on the street saying that she knew what I had done when getting to my car, managed to confuse the hell out of her when I offered to fix/upgrade her laptop or computer and showed her a bootful of computer parts.

Offline Gordon Bennett

Early onset of senile dementia? I shouldn't jest really....... I'm often finding myself wondering what I went upstairs or into the lounge for nowadays.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2019, 07:59:09 pm by Gordon Bennett »

Offline Kingy28

Mumsnet will be all over this thread  :scare:

Offline Doc Holliday

Early onset of senile dementia? I shouldn't jest really....... I'm often finding myself wondering what I went upstairs or into the lounge for nowadays.

You can still find the stairs? I have to ask Matron :D

Offline Bonker

Who's matron? Don't remember her.

Offline hullad

I learned from my grandad at an early age ' always have an answer ready ' and I have followed that maxim. Confidence and not looking shifty will  carry you through, but not down the same street, use your grey matter any close connection to you or family is a no no.


 I have been spotted in some odd places at times as I deal on ebay and so I have a ready made 'reason' to be anywhere and always have something in the car/boot . Mind you being spotted going into a known massage parlour could be difficult but challenging reason wise lol.

Online sparkus

Mumsnet will be all over this thread  :scare:

If only we could engage on them on it.

"On a scale of 1-5, how plausible would you find this excuse?"

Offline jeanphillipe

« Last Edit: March 23, 2019, 09:40:44 am by jeanphillipe »

Offline Formicahunt

My work involves visiting the sort of houses in the sort of areas that we often find ourselves in. Thinking about it I might start taking a clipboard to punts.

Offline stampjones

Meetings have got to be a reasonable one if you work in the right kind of job. Meeting an agent is one I’ve used

Offline roboeggman

It's never happened to me but if it were a mate or work colleague I'd say I was checking some gear out for a particular hobby of mine from someone on Gumtree/Shpock/FBMP but it was no good.

I very very rarely punt when my partner's in the country so that's not really an issue.

Meetings have got to be a reasonable one if you work in the right kind of job. Meeting an agent is one I’ve used

I did use this once when my best mate(who shares this hobby) had said that his mam saw me somewhere in Gateshead. Told him I was consulting with a new prospective client. I consulted all over her face that afternoon.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2019, 06:35:40 pm by roboeggman »

Offline RedKettle

I always have a reason to be on the general area but not usually the specific street.  I did recently walk past someone we knew on my way and gave a cheery hello. Not a massive problem but the precise place was a little off where you might expect me to be.

Getting home, after a decent shag, i went on the offensive and straight away said that I had seen so and so when in town, they were looking well etc etc.  Felt that treating it as normal was the best defence and that worked, heard no more.

Offline Boinky


Offline Home Alone

I always have a reason to be on the general area but not usually the specific street.  I did recently walk past someone we knew on my way and gave a cheery hello. Not a massive problem but the precise place was a little off where you might expect me to be.

Getting home, after a decent shag, i went on the offensive and straight away said that I had seen so and so when in town, they were looking well etc etc.  Felt that treating it as normal was the best defence and that worked, heard no more.

Very clever, RK. Take the Bull by the horns, so to speak.

Offline Bonker

"it's fake news, trust me"
"I'm gonna make America fornicate again"

Offline diomhair72

Thanks, shagmore; I hadn't a clue what an 'Esty seller' was!

Maybe a lesson to spellcheck if you're posting in the small hours. ;)

Don't think thers is a need for spellcheck really considering etsy yes E-T-S-Y is probably more popular than ebay nowadays especially for independent  businesses specializing in homemade and custom items.

Offline Hobbit

There's an ongoing UKP thread about meeting WGs in the street, but that has never been a particularly worry of mine - just smile, say hello and, if you're with someone who doesn't know about your hobby, say "she's someone, I used to work with" - or maybe "she's someone who used to do some jobs for me", which is actually true, even though they were blowjobs!).

What I would like is a really good ready-made line to take if I was ever spotted by my wife or a friend, while waiting to enter or leaving somewhere I really didn't ought to be. The best I can think of for a residential house is to say "I was passing by and saw the owner drop something as they went in and was calling to let them know.". But that is a bit hard to substantiate if you are caught waiting to enter and it doesn't work at all if it's an apartment block (unless you equip yourself with a bogus bit of lost property with the house or flat number on it).

Any thoughts?

Cheers!


It's not what you say but how you say it that always reveals your true intentions. Body language is a big giveaway and when you do articulate the excuse, ensure that you are confident, have good eye contact and be firm. If you tremble, shake, fidget or look away you would most likely be found out unless if you are Mr Bean, in which case you have nothing to worry about!  :hi:
« Last Edit: March 24, 2019, 03:13:39 pm by Hobbit »