Vientiane
Hi guys,
It’s well documented that Laos nationals are forbidden to enter in to sexual relations with foreigners unless they are married. However, you’d be forgiven for thinking that you were in Thailand with the amount of western guys who walk hand in hand with their Laotian counterparts. Perhaps the law is enforced in the more rural and conservative areas, but in Vientiane it is another story.
I’ve toyed with the idea of visiting Laos on several occasions but I’d read that it’s a bit of a sleepy town and there’s no action etc. On the contrary. Some of the bars are open until the sun comes up and there‘s plenty of action to be had, paid or otherwise. Obviously, if you arrive expecting Pattaya or Phnomh Penh, then you are likely to be disappointed however if you adjust your expectations, and go with an open mind, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
The local beer, Beer Lao, is one of finest tasting beers around and it costs in the bars between 10k-20k. The exchange rate is £1 to 10k KIP (approx).
In view of the ‘foreigner’ law I booked an Air BnB close to the Riverside for £150k per night so as to avoid any issues taking girls back. I soon learned that it was unnecessary but it was still good to have my own space.
The easiest and most accessible place for sex is Vientiane Plaza Massage. It’s a small outbuilding which is overlooked by the Vientiane Plaza Hotel. It’s inhabitants are almost exclusively Vietnamese. You chose from the board your preferred treatment then you are lead to the adjoining room where upwards of 10 hot ladies are sitting around, none of which were below a 7. The massage itself ranges from 80k-130k (£8-£13) for an hour and the “boom boom” 400k (£40).
I visited on my first and final night. I refused the option of the sauna on both occasions because it was around 8pm and still 30+ degrees and quite frankly the sauna looked more like a solitary confinement cell. It’s by no means a luxury establishment but clean and pleasant enough.
Once the small talk is over, the girl washes you down, provides a full body massage, then asks if wish for any extra. The massage is nothing to write home about but, let’s face it, you aren’t there for massage. My friend’s wife is Vietnamese and she had previously taught me some basic phrases, so (pre-planned) I introduced myself in Vietnamese which went down a treat and really broke the ice. The girls are super friendly and giggly - overall a great experience!
A couple of notable bars:
Walo Bar - This was the only Thai-type hostess bar that I came across. There are several girls on hand to accompany you whilst you play pool, have a drink, and chat to fellow expats, and travellers. If, like myself, you like the 5’0 size 4 type, then this is the place to be. The de facto bar manager, Pa, is fantastic company. She speaks perfect English and sure knows how to work a room ... she is quite hot too. The other girls are really cute if not a little timid. However, a couple of cans of Heineken (which seems to be their drink of choice, probably because it’s imported and expensive) usually gets the conversation flowing. My biggest regret is not enquiring as to a take out as the body language suggested that it was on offer. One visit was marred by a crazy Laotian women who peer pressured me in to smoking a spliff with her. Unfortunately, my weed smoking days are over and I was non-compus mentus for the rest of the night. I am still in touch with one of the girls there and certainly wish to return one day.
CCC Bar - Well, fuck me. This place will love long in the memory! It is a ‘gay friendly’ bar but is not a gay bar by Western standards. There’s a mixed crowd of gay, straight and ladyboys. Ironically, this place was the most fertile hunting ground during my trip. This is place where everybody ends up because doesn’t usually close until 5am-6am.
On my first and second night I took the same girl home with only a taxi fare to pay. The third girl I met after the football match which finished at about 4:30am. I’d had a bit of a debacle with a girl I’d met the night before and so I was wary about taking anyone back to my place, especially in broad daylight at 9am. We left my friends hotel and she took me to some Wild West-esk motel where I paid 80k for a couple of hours. She drove me back to the Riverside at about 5pm and the walk of shame ensued. I fucked 3 girls over 4 nights and only paid for a few drinks, balloons, and a taxi home (for the ones who came back to my place).
Samlo Bar - This place is not so much a mongering location but is a great place to play pool and to have a drink with expats and travellers alike. There are a couple of girls and ladyboys who arrive later. On my first night I bought one girl a drink however when she went to the toilet the (beautiful) barmaid warned me off her. To be fair, if she had have told me that the earth was flat and the sky green, I’d have taken her word for it! I cut short the rendezvous and headed elsewhere.
Country Road - Similar to Samlo bar with a couple of absolute stunners behind the bar. I didn’t see any WG’s here but it is a great place with a fun atmosphere. The perfect place to take a girl for a drink.
Bamboo Bar - Located on the Riverside. It’s a ‘smoke’ friendly bar which is popular with the locals who love to interact.
Tully’s - A popular Irish Bar frequented mostly by expats.
Bar The Way - A little way out from the tourist area, this place is great fun. Karaoke, good vibes and hot girls. The hottest girl being the blonde Filipino who works behind the bar!
I only planned on staying for 3 nights but ended up there for 7. I met loads of great people, some living there, some travelling through. The girls are fuckin beautiful. Petite, dark skinned, beautiful smiles. Take a walk around the night-markets and you will see what I mean. I was surprised in general at how openminded the girls were.
The temples are really impressive during the day and a visit to Buddha Park is a must. There’s enough to do in the day to keep you busy for a few days.
I loved the place and will most certainly return.
