Ripped off: a cautionary tale

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

It's now the first anniversary of the biggest setback I've had as a punter: the time that my former "regular" stole £900 from me.  I know I've mentioned this in passing a few times since, but never in detail, and I probably should, as a warning to others who might get themselves into a similar situation.  And even though I'll probably get some stick for getting myself into this mess, perhaps I'll feel better after I've finally got it off my chest!  So here goes.



Back in the spring of 2013, my regular was struggling to pay the deposit on an apartment she wanted.  She was up against a tight deadline, and there was a good chance that she wasn't going to make it.  Meanwhile I'd had a windfall (a small inheritance), which I'd diverted into my punting account.

So I gave her £1000.

I made it very clear that it was a loan, not a gift: she accepted that (or so I thought: more on this later).  I assumed she would spend what she needed, top it back up when she could, then give it back: but I also gave her another option.  She could take it as advance payment on bookings instead, then "work it off" by seeing me 10 times at £100 per hour.  I admit that I was hoping she might add a few "freebies" on the end (maybe 2 or 3)... but instead she considered it for awhile and then promised me thirty bookings in all (20 freebies)!

At this point, I expect many of you are thinking "what a fucking idiot".  In hindsight... yes, you're right, I guess I was thinking with the wrong part of my anatomy there.  But she was an established escort with a good reputation, and she was buying a pad in Bristol, not about to run off somewhere.  It was a gamble, but I thought it was an acceptable one.  I was wrong.

From then on, booking her became noticeably more difficult.  To be fair, she did have a run of bad luck (including a suspected tumour in her ear, diagnosed in May 2013: I don't know what happened about that, as she was still having tests when I lost contact with her).  But there was also a worrying reluctance to answer my messages, requiring me to try several times over a week or so to get any response (she knew that I didn't live in Bristol and I needed to book an afternoon off work every time, so I needed to know in advance if she would be available).  But nevermind, if I booked time off and she didn't reply in time, I could always see someone else (I was still seeing several other escorts, I wasn't "fixated" on just her).  As long as I got my "allowance" eventually... right?

I managed to see her 4 times after that: in May, June, July, and September of 2013.  All four meetings ended up happening about a week later than planned (in August I tried but then gave up: there were three others I wanted to see that month, so I booked them instead).  The September meeting was postponed because she was quite ill, and seriously short of cash as a result (she was "coughing up blood" and after the earlier cancer scare I feared that this was late-stage lung cancer, but it turned out to be unrelated): so I let her have another £300 (and, yes, I know exactly how that sounds).  She seemed very grateful and promised to add another 3 bookings to my allowance.  When I mentioned that Fridays were the most convenient for me to see her, she said she would "reserve Fridays for me", but I wasn't sure what she meant by that...

...Nothing, apparently.  I never saw her again.



It took me a long time to realise that she had ripped me off.  She turned me down in mid-October of 2013 for what seemed a plausible reason (a family commitment), so I ended up seeing four others during October (I've had to cut down since, I'm running out of cash!).  But later that month, when I tried to reschedule for Friday November 1st... nothing.  No response for a week or so to emails, texts, phonecalls... and yet she was showing as "available" all that week and on that day.  It was rather irritating, as I ran out of time to make other arrangements, still trying to contact her on the day.

Was it her illness, perhaps?  Maybe she wasn't taking advance bookings because she didn't know if she'd be up to it?  After waiting another week, I sent her a very polite email asking if she was OK.  As I didn't know what the problem was, I also considered the possibility that she just didn't want to see me anymore (I've read about escorts dumping regulars without warning if they feel the relationship was getting "inappropriate": had she done that?), so I offered to back off and leave her alone if that's what she wanted:

...I see no reason why we can't just carry on as before.  But if you want to end it, let's do it properly.  Since April I have given you £1300 and seen you four times: so I'll accept a £900 refund, and I will never bother you again (and I won't expect an immediate payment either: some sort of instalment arrangement will be fine)...

Still no reply.

And so it continued, throughout November and into December.  No replies to a series of emails and texts (and a few unanswered phonecalls too), as it began to dawn on me that something was VERY wrong.  She was showing as "Available today" almost every day, and picked up two feedback entries from guys she met in November (and she posted new pictures taken in the apartment I helped her to buy)... but she wouldn't see me anymore.

I didn't know what to make of it.  I was worried about her health, but also pissed off at her refusal to see me, or to at least tell me what was going on.  After two months of increasingly exasperating failed attempts to contact her, I went to her apartment.  She was out on tour, but I left a written statement accusing her of theft: by this time, her refusal to answer was so obvious and deliberate that "being pissed off" had won out.  This did finally produce a response, but it was little more than "Fuck off or I will call the police" (she had apparently decided to treat me as a "stalker", rather than a paid-up client who was wondering where his money had gone).  Still no mention of why she had cut me off in the first place, and no mention of my refund.  I had to leave it for awhile (family holiday over Xmas).

In January I noticed that she had missed a booking due to illness.  This made things awkward: I was all set to "go public" in February, but if she was still in poor health, that didn't seem ethical.  I decided that even though I still wanted my money back, I didn't need it back urgently: I could wait.  So in early February I sent her a text and a UKpunting Private Message, to let her know that I was postponing further action against her for "at least a few months", and saying that I hoped she would get better.  No response.

Then, out of the blue, I received a reply to my PM in mid-March:  "You won't do anything anyway as I don't owe you any money".  WTF?  It's as if she wanted to commit "career suicide" over this!  Just how hard should I try to protect her from her own stupidity???  I replied, pointing out that she definitely did owe me a refund, and that it would be entirely appropriate for me to report her as a thief.  We exchanged a few messages, and she finally gave me the reason that I had been waiting five months to hear.


Apparently it was because I had used the "L-word" in our September booking.  Which I had, in a moment of weakness (the "coughing up blood" incident had gotten to me, I'd thought she was dying for awhile): I had apologised immediately, we joked about it at the time, and I had assumed it wasn't a big deal.


I've heard of escorts dumping "infatuated" clients, but only after the client had turned into a harasser/stalker:  not just because he uttered one inappropriate word!  If anything, I became more of a "stalker" AFTER she dumped me, when I was trying to find out what the fuck was going on!  And if she was really concerned about my supposed fixation on her, then why did she make it so much worse by refusing to give me my money back???

And technically she had used that word first, anyhow:  on the day I gave her that £1000 and she had promised me those 30 bookings, she had said "I could almost... love you.  As a friend".  She had then said that she would like us to become friends, and seemed rather miffed that I was seeing another escort that afternoon:  "Oh well, at least I have my Tom" (her boyfriend at the time).  But nothing ever came of that, she always treated me as a client subsequently, we never got to "hang out together" outside the bookings (I offered to give her driving lessons, but she refused)... I assumed she was just a bit emotional at the time, and accepted that.

But I had been promised 30 bookings for the price of 10: I received 4 bookings for the price of 13.  She was a liar and a thief.  And quite possibly mentally unstable, if she really did flip from "offering a client 20 freebies" to "stealing £900 from that client and cutting him off" for such a trivial reason.  I'm pretty sure the real reason was simple negligence:  she already had my money, therefore she had no incentive to carry on seeing me, and I had become an inconvenience.  I think her health deteriorated in October and she was missing bookings, so she concentrated on only seeing guys who were still paying (she had done that to me once before, and had eventually admitted that it was because she had "bills to pay"):  if she'd had the decency to TELL me that, then I would have accepted it, and waited for awhile.  But she ignored me instead, then couldn't admit what she had done, and needed an excuse.  I think she also came to resent "having to see me for free" anyhow.

In our discussions in March, she came up with some utterly pathetic excuses.  Apparently the money had been "a gift" (even though I had said very clearly at the time "this is a loan, not a gift"), and our four subsequent bookings had been "acts of charity" on her part: she refused to accept that I had paid her for sex (apparently I didn't understand the rules and I was guilty of "not sticking to the guidelines of escort decorum" by paying in advance, but it's supposedly OK to refuse to deliver a paid-for service and then confiscate any money that a client has paid).  She insisted that this was all due to "infatuation" and refused to consider any other explanation, coming up with comments such as "this is your way of getting back at me because I wouldn't see you anymore", and begging me to "find someone else who is better for you, please" (but of course refusing to give me back the money I'd need for that).  She also claimed that she couldn't possibly owe me any money because there was nothing in writing:  she didn't seem to understand the concept of a "verbal contract" or the importance of "keeping your word".  Also, my threat to expose her as a thief was "blackmail", and she would call the police if I didn't back off:  she knew that I was a married man with kids, and helpfully pointed out that any police action would destroy my marriage and wreck my family.  That just pissed me off, it didn't help her at all.

But she was still a single mother who might be battling cancer (and maybe clinical depression: her bizarre behaviour would fit that, I've seen similar before).  I eventually decided that I just didn't have the stomach to wreck the career of someone in that position.  So I gave up.


Was I right to do so?  I still wonder about that.  Not knowing her actual health situation has made this especially difficult for me.  If she had been terminally ill, there's no way that I would have wanted to wreck her career and possibly cause her to lose her home in her final months, and what she did to me was utterly trivial compared to what fate had done to her.  But if it was just an ear infection, or a cyst, or a benign tumour... then she had gotten away with robbing me of nearly a thousand pounds, and that has had a significant impact on my punting since.  I have a few grand in a secret bank account, but otherwise my budget for this is about £100 per month (all I can manage to smuggle out of the joint account).  And it's not as if I did anything to deserve this... except (supposedly) uttering one word!



The moral of this should be clear:  DON'T lend money to a prostitute, under ANY circumstances.  I thought it would actually be safer than lending it to others, not just because they can earn so much (as my new regular put it, when I told her: "We're not poor!"), but because they don't even have to save up cash for the repayments:  they just lie back, open their legs, and one hour later a chunk of debt is gone.  But I underestimated the resentment factor, and the fickle and untrustworthy nature of (probably) most of them:  if you put yourself in that position, you are only one temper-tantrum away from financial disaster.

And I suppose I also have to accept that maybe the woman I gave that money to didn't survive her illness:  her body now appears to be occupied by a rather unpleasant stranger.  But perhaps I never really knew her.  There was a mysterious incident when our very first meeting was postponed by a day because she spent the afternoon in a police station, after an "incident with a nasty client" that she didn't want to discuss.  Perhaps he was an asshole... but he might have been a fellow victim.  I will never know.

I have tried to be philosophical about it.  After all, if she hadn't ripped me off, I still wouldn't have that money back, I'd just be committed to seeing the most unreliable escort I have ever met (though she was better before her illness):  every meeting consisted of an hour of pleasure preceded by a week or more of frustration.  And after she "cut me loose", I wasn't so concerned about her illness, it wasn't my problem anymore.  But I can't help thinking about how else I could have spent that wasted £900 (half a dozen bookings with my new regular, for instance).  Meanwhile others can still book my former regular for much less money than I paid:  I've been discriminated against because I was too generous (or maybe because I cared about her illness too much), and the unfairness of that still hurts - even though I don't have any particular urge to see her anymore, I still wince whenever her name comes up on here.  I've never been dumped from an actual relationship before, I seem to have inadvertently purchased a "girlfriend experience".

And everything I've read since about this sort of arrangement between an escort and a cient has said pretty much the same thing.  Almost every single time, the client who has paid in advance finds himself "sent to the back of the queue" over and over again, on one pretext or another, until she stops bothering with him altogether and it all ends badly.  As Vorian put it awhile back, "Once they have your money, they don't give a fuck.  Literally".  If this thread stops anyone else from entering into such an arrangement, then that can only be a good thing.

There are also lessons to be learned here by escorts, in how NOT to get rid of an unwanted client.  As soon as I began to suspect that she didn't want to see me anymore, I wanted OUT: but she refused to let me go!  What guys in this situation need is a clean break, a chance to move on as quickly and painlessly as possible (and finding a new escort is a lot easier than finding a new girlfriend, so that shouldn't be a problem).  But telling a client that you might have a life-threatening illness, then clamming up and stealing his money... that is a fuck-up of EPIC proportions!

But a year later she's still around, and she is a UKpunting member (though she has rarely posted).  This thread isn't really intended for her, but as a warning to others, but maybe she will read this and consider what she did to me.  I still don't expect that I will ever see either her or my money again, but if she has any trace of conscience left, she might regret what happened... though I have no illusions that she would actually do anything about it.  She's the only escort on my blacklist and I've mostly ignored her since, but I checked recently (maybe I shouldn't have?) and apparently she's off on holiday, at my expense.  But maybe she isn't, maybe that's a cover story, and her "holiday" is actually in a hospital somewhere?  Will I ever know?  Will she ever care?  Unlikely, I suppose.

[Dani]

Obviously it was not a terminal illness as she is still around and working so perhaps it was never an illness at all.  yes she missed a booking through being ill but everyone gets ill at some point.  I would have named and shamed her.  You didnt because she spun a story about how she MIGHT have a terminal illness.  To me this is just sick.  pretending to be terminally ill is one of the very lowest things someone can do.
Basically she made up every excuse possible to get you to back off from asking for your money back.  In the end it turned to threatening to call the police on you therefor outing you to your wife and kids.  That alone should put her on the dangerous prossie list

If she is a member here and still working it means punters here are at risk as well so really you do need to name and shame.  I doubt anyone wants someone like her as a member here as she could easily do the same to the fluffier of men.  Name and Shame and not only is she a thief she threatened to ensure you were outed too

[Stealthshagger]

link/name?

[sublimetoridiculous]

She really should go onto the blacklist.

If she has done it once and got away with it, then she is likely to do it again.

[smiths]

It's now the first anniversary of the biggest setback I've had as a punter: the time that my former "regular" stole £900 from me.  I know I've mentioned this in passing a few times since, but never in detail, and I probably should, as a warning to others who might get themselves into a similar situation.  And even though I'll probably get some stick for getting myself into this mess, perhaps I'll feel better after I've finally got it off my chest!  So here goes.



Back in the spring of 2013, my regular was struggling to pay the deposit on an apartment she wanted.  She was up against a tight deadline, and there was a good chance that she wasn't going to make it.  Meanwhile I'd had a windfall (a small inheritance), which I'd diverted into my punting account.

So I gave her £1000.

I made it very clear that it was a loan, not a gift: she accepted that (or so I thought: more on this later).  I assumed she would spend what she needed, top it back up when she could, then give it back: but I also gave her another option.  She could take it as advance payment on bookings instead, then "work it off" by seeing me 10 times at £100 per hour.  I admit that I was hoping she might add a few "freebies" on the end (maybe 2 or 3)... but instead she considered it for awhile and then promised me thirty bookings in all (20 freebies)!

At this point, I expect many of you are thinking "what a fucking idiot".  In hindsight... yes, you're right, I guess I was thinking with the wrong part of my anatomy there.  But she was an established escort with a good reputation, and she was buying a pad in Bristol, not about to run off somewhere.  It was a gamble, but I thought it was an acceptable one.  I was wrong.

From then on, booking her became noticeably more difficult.  To be fair, she did have a run of bad luck (including a suspected tumour in her ear, diagnosed in May 2013: I don't know what happened about that, as she was still having tests when I lost contact with her).  But there was also a worrying reluctance to answer my messages, requiring me to try several times over a week or so to get any response (she knew that I didn't live in Bristol and I needed to book an afternoon off work every time, so I needed to know in advance if she would be available).  But nevermind, if I booked time off and she didn't reply in time, I could always see someone else (I was still seeing several other escorts, I wasn't "fixated" on just her).  As long as I got my "allowance" eventually... right?

I managed to see her 4 times after that: in May, June, July, and September of 2013.  All four meetings ended up happening about a week later than planned (in August I tried but then gave up: there were three others I wanted to see that month, so I booked them instead).  The September meeting was postponed because she was quite ill, and seriously short of cash as a result (she was "coughing up blood" and after the earlier cancer scare I feared that this was late-stage lung cancer, but it turned out to be unrelated): so I let her have another £300 (and, yes, I know exactly how that sounds).  She seemed very grateful and promised to add another 3 bookings to my allowance.  When I mentioned that Fridays were the most convenient for me to see her, she said she would "reserve Fridays for me", but I wasn't sure what she meant by that...

...Nothing, apparently.  I never saw her again.



It took me a long time to realise that she had ripped me off.  She turned me down in mid-October of 2013 for what seemed a plausible reason (a family commitment), so I ended up seeing four others during October (I've had to cut down since, I'm running out of cash!).  But later that month, when I tried to reschedule for Friday November 1st... nothing.  No response for a week or so to emails, texts, phonecalls... and yet she was showing as "available" all that week and on that day.  It was rather irritating, as I ran out of time to make other arrangements, still trying to contact her on the day.

Was it her illness, perhaps?  Maybe she wasn't taking advance bookings because she didn't know if she'd be up to it?  After waiting another week, I sent her a very polite email asking if she was OK.  As I didn't know what the problem was, I also considered the possibility that she just didn't want to see me anymore (I've read about escorts dumping regulars without warning if they feel the relationship was getting "inappropriate": had she done that?), so I offered to back off and leave her alone if that's what she wanted:

Still no reply.

And so it continued, throughout November and into December.  No replies to a series of emails and texts (and a few unanswered phonecalls too), as it began to dawn on me that something was VERY wrong.  She was showing as "Available today" almost every day, and picked up two feedback entries from guys she met in November (and she posted new pictures taken in the apartment I helped her to buy)... but she wouldn't see me anymore.

I didn't know what to make of it.  I was worried about her health, but also pissed off at her refusal to see me, or to at least tell me what was going on.  After two months of increasingly exasperating failed attempts to contact her, I went to her apartment.  She was out on tour, but I left a written statement accusing her of theft: by this time, her refusal to answer was so obvious and deliberate that "being pissed off" had won out.  This did finally produce a response, but it was little more than "Fuck off or I will call the police" (she had apparently decided to treat me as a "stalker", rather than a paid-up client who was wondering where his money had gone).  Still no mention of why she had cut me off in the first place, and no mention of my refund.  I had to leave it for awhile (family holiday over Xmas).

In January I noticed that she had missed a booking due to illness.  This made things awkward: I was all set to "go public" in February, but if she was still in poor health, that didn't seem ethical.  I decided that even though I still wanted my money back, I didn't need it back urgently: I could wait.  So in early February I sent her a text and a UKpunting Private Message, to let her know that I was postponing further action against her for "at least a few months", and saying that I hoped she would get better.  No response.

Then, out of the blue, I received a reply to my PM in mid-March:  "You won't do anything anyway as I don't owe you any money".  WTF?  It's as if she wanted to commit "career suicide" over this!  Just how hard should I try to protect her from her own stupidity???  I replied, pointing out that she definitely did owe me a refund, and that it would be entirely appropriate for me to report her as a thief.  We exchanged a few messages, and she finally gave me the reason that I had been waiting five months to hear.


Apparently it was because I had used the "L-word" in our September booking.  Which I had, in a moment of weakness (the "coughing up blood" incident had gotten to me, I'd thought she was dying for awhile): I had apologised immediately, we joked about it at the time, and I had assumed it wasn't a big deal.


I've heard of escorts dumping "infatuated" clients, but only after the client had turned into a harasser/stalker:  not just because he uttered one inappropriate word!  If anything, I became more of a "stalker" AFTER she dumped me, when I was trying to find out what the fuck was going on!  And if she was really concerned about my supposed fixation on her, then why did she make it so much worse by refusing to give me my money back???

And technically she had used that word first, anyhow:  on the day I gave her that £1000 and she had promised me those 30 bookings, she had said "I could almost... love you.  As a friend".  She had then said that she would like us to become friends, and seemed rather miffed that I was seeing another escort that afternoon:  "Oh well, at least I have my Tom" (her boyfriend at the time).  But nothing ever came of that, she always treated me as a client subsequently, we never got to "hang out together" outside the bookings (I offered to give her driving lessons, but she refused)... I assumed she was just a bit emotional at the time, and accepted that.

But I had been promised 30 bookings for the price of 10: I received 4 bookings for the price of 13.  She was a liar and a thief.  And quite possibly mentally unstable, if she really did flip from "offering a client 20 freebies" to "stealing £900 from that client and cutting him off" for such a trivial reason.  I'm pretty sure the real reason was simple negligence:  she already had my money, therefore she had no incentive to carry on seeing me, and I had become an inconvenience.  I think her health deteriorated in October and she was missing bookings, so she concentrated on only seeing guys who were still paying (she had done that to me once before, and had eventually admitted that it was because she had "bills to pay"):  if she'd had the decency to TELL me that, then I would have accepted it, and waited for awhile.  But she ignored me instead, then couldn't admit what she had done, and needed an excuse.  I think she also came to resent "having to see me for free" anyhow.

In our discussions in March, she came up with some utterly pathetic excuses.  Apparently the money had been "a gift" (even though I had said very clearly at the time "this is a loan, not a gift"), and our four subsequent bookings had been "acts of charity" on her part: she refused to accept that I had paid her for sex (apparently I didn't understand the rules and I was guilty of "not sticking to the guidelines of escort decorum" by paying in advance, but it's supposedly OK to refuse to deliver a paid-for service and then confiscate any money that a client has paid).  She insisted that this was all due to "infatuation" and refused to consider any other explanation, coming up with comments such as "this is your way of getting back at me because I wouldn't see you anymore", and begging me to "find someone else who is better for you, please" (but of course refusing to give me back the money I'd need for that).  She also claimed that she couldn't possibly owe me any money because there was nothing in writing:  she didn't seem to understand the concept of a "verbal contract" or the importance of "keeping your word".  Also, my threat to expose her as a thief was "blackmail", and she would call the police if I didn't back off:  she knew that I was a married man with kids, and helpfully pointed out that any police action would destroy my marriage and wreck my family.  That just pissed me off, it didn't help her at all.

But she was still a single mother who might be battling cancer (and maybe clinical depression: her bizarre behaviour would fit that, I've seen similar before).  I eventually decided that I just didn't have the stomach to wreck the career of someone in that position.  So I gave up.


Was I right to do so?  I still wonder about that.  Not knowing her actual health situation has made this especially difficult for me.  If she had been terminally ill, there's no way that I would have wanted to wreck her career and possibly cause her to lose her home in her final months, and what she did to me was utterly trivial compared to what fate had done to her.  But if it was just an ear infection, or a cyst, or a benign tumour... then she had gotten away with robbing me of nearly a thousand pounds, and that has had a significant impact on my punting since.  I have a few grand in a secret bank account, but otherwise my budget for this is about £100 per month (all I can manage to smuggle out of the joint account).  And it's not as if I did anything to deserve this... except (supposedly) uttering one word!



The moral of this should be clear:  DON'T lend money to a prostitute, under ANY circumstances.  I thought it would actually be safer than lending it to others, not just because they can earn so much (as my new regular put it, when I told her: "We're not poor!"), but because they don't even have to save up cash for the repayments:  they just lie back, open their legs, and one hour later a chunk of debt is gone.  But I underestimated the resentment factor, and the fickle and untrustworthy nature of (probably) most of them:  if you put yourself in that position, you are only one temper-tantrum away from financial disaster.

And I suppose I also have to accept that maybe the woman I gave that money to didn't survive her illness:  her body now appears to be occupied by a rather unpleasant stranger.  But perhaps I never really knew her.  There was a mysterious incident when our very first meeting was postponed by a day because she spent the afternoon in a police station, after an "incident with a nasty client" that she didn't want to discuss.  Perhaps he was an asshole... but he might have been a fellow victim.  I will never know.

I have tried to be philosophical about it.  After all, if she hadn't ripped me off, I still wouldn't have that money back, I'd just be committed to seeing the most unreliable escort I have ever met (though she was better before her illness):  every meeting consisted of an hour of pleasure preceded by a week or more of frustration.  And after she "cut me loose", I wasn't so concerned about her illness, it wasn't my problem anymore.  But I can't help thinking about how else I could have spent that wasted £900 (half a dozen bookings with my new regular, for instance).  Meanwhile others can still book my former regular for much less money than I paid:  I've been discriminated against because I was too generous (or maybe because I cared about her illness too much), and the unfairness of that still hurts - even though I don't have any particular urge to see her anymore, I still wince whenever her name comes up on here.  I've never been dumped from an actual relationship before, I seem to have inadvertently purchased a "girlfriend experience".

And everything I've read since about this sort of arrangement between an escort and a cient has said pretty much the same thing.  Almost every single time, the client who has paid in advance finds himself "sent to the back of the queue" over and over again, on one pretext or another, until she stops bothering with him altogether and it all ends badly.  As Vorian put it awhile back, "Once they have your money, they don't give a fuck.  Literally".  If this thread stops anyone else from entering into such an arrangement, then that can only be a good thing.

There are also lessons to be learned here by escorts, in how NOT to get rid of an unwanted client.  As soon as I began to suspect that she didn't want to see me anymore, I wanted OUT: but she refused to let me go!  What guys in this situation need is a clean break, a chance to move on as quickly and painlessly as possible (and finding a new escort is a lot easier than finding a new girlfriend, so that shouldn't be a problem).  But telling a client that you might have a life-threatening illness, then clamming up and stealing his money... that is a fuck-up of EPIC proportions!

But a year later she's still around, and she is a UKpunting member (though she has rarely posted).  This thread isn't really intended for her, but as a warning to others, but maybe she will read this and consider what she did to me.  I still don't expect that I will ever see either her or my money again, but if she has any trace of conscience left, she might regret what happened... though I have no illusions that she would actually do anything about it.  She's the only escort on my blacklist and I've mostly ignored her since, but I checked recently (maybe I shouldn't have?) and apparently she's off on holiday, at my expense.  But maybe she isn't, maybe that's a cover story, and her "holiday" is actually in a hospital somewhere?  Will I ever know?  Will she ever care?  Unlikely, I suppose.

If this post helps one other punter being suckered by a WG its well worth posting in my view.

I find it amazing you thought lending money to a WG would be safer than lending to others. Not something i think at all, there is no way of legally proving you have lent a WG money unless she admits it happened.

No excuse or reason on this earth would persuade me to lend a WG money, when i have been asked which has happened to lend money i have always said you shouldnt be asking me, you should be asking your own family and friends, if they really dont have any of either thats not my responsibility, and i have never then punted with the WG again. All this hospital bollocks even if true is something i wouldnt want to know about, i just want a punt from a WG, NOT their lifestory and to know about their woes and bad luck stories.

 I would no more lend a WG money than anyone else i do business with, difference is they dont have the absolute gall to even ask me. It really is a fucking cheek to ever be asked in my view.

My advice is name and shame this low life so other punters aware of this site are made aware of this scumbag. I assume and hope you havent been stupid enough to give her your real name or other real details.

[Jimmyredcab]

No sympathy whatsoever from me, anyone who lends a prostitute £1000 should be sectioned under the mental health act.   

[Stealthshagger]

I should add that if you use the l word with an escort, you might want to reconsider punting and address the issues, not to mention the lending of a large sum and the denial being warnings in themselves re punting not being for you.

[x369]

As I read this post I don't see as you have done anything wrong, just one human being trying to help another.

I've loaned money to family members and friends and not once did I except them to not pay up, but they haven't, worse still they've failed to acknowledge that they owe you the money.

In business when I've been owed money you can easily go round to there premises and receive payment whether it be cash or goods, but family members you cant really do the same.

You should name the girl so other don't fall into the same trap.

[GeeWiz]

With respect, a thief steals without your knowledge and she is definitely not a robber either as she used no threat of violence or didn't break in.  You lent her money, she reneged on the repayments.

If it sounds too good to be true - twenty 'free' sessions - then it is.

You do sound infatuated and should let it lie because if you live in the past, you're gonna be depressed.

[maxxblue]

Why are you telling us all of this, Youonlyliveonce, if you are not prepared to name and shame her?

By not doing so, you are letting your fellow punters down, in my view.

[James999]

So I gave her £1000.

Are you interested in buying some magic beans so you can grow a money tree, PM me if you are I've only got one pack left and I can let you have them for £500   

[smiths]

As I read this post I don't see as you have done anything wrong, just one human being trying to help another.

I've loaned money to family members and friends and not once did I except them to not pay up, but they haven't, worse still they've failed to acknowledge that they owe you the money.

In business when I've been owed money you can easily go round to there premises and receive payment whether it be cash or goods, but family members you cant really do the same.

You should name the girl so other don't fall into the same trap.

 With family and friends there is presumably love and affection involved, not saying its a good idea to lend to them either but its far more understandable to me than lending money to a virtual or complete stranger.

[StPunt]

The moment you gave her that money you were never getting it back.

the warning is useless without identifying her.

name and shame her so your fellow punter can avoid her.

[smiths]

there are, but you dont know until its too late which are which, your bravetart story notwithstanding.

Absolutely. If your smart you DONT lend WGs money, ever. To do so is sheer stupidity in my opinion.

[LL]

Interesting to read but you really should post her profile so we can add her to the prossie blacklist.
Also don't beat yourself up about it.  Everyone makes mistakes.  It's only money so try not to dwell on it and move on.

[MancSean]

Unfortunately sounds like you had really fallen for her. Yeah she played you and this wasn't nice of her. If it makes you feel any better it can easily of happened with a civvy too. My advice is try and get over her ASAP and learn from your mistake

[PumpAction]

Thanks OP. I now know not to lend a wg £1300.

But seriously, if I lent a woman that sells her body by the hour that much cash and hadn't received it back this amount of time later I wouldn't still be crying about it. You were fleeced but you should never have lent her the money in the first place. Get over it.

[CaptainRoscoe]

If this post helps one other punter being suckered by a WG its well worth posting in my view.

I find it amazing you thought lending money to a WG would be safer than lending to others. Not something i think at all, there is no way of legally proving you have lent a WG money unless she admits it happened.

Thank you for quoting his entire long post. I missed it the first time I opened this thread.

As for the topic, it happens mate. I personally was taught by my dad the only woman you should ever lend money to is your family and wife, and even then don't fully trust the bitch. A true Samaritan my dad is.

Surely a woman who sells her body for money isn't going to be a paragon of virtue but I digress.

[Dave2014]

I don't want to be over-analytical here, and I am sorry you have lost your money. But what you have described is not a 'loan' arrangement at all.

What you have described is a situation in which a WG needed to access cash quickly, and in order to enable her to do that, you decided to pay 'up-front' for a series of punts with her. Those bookings (or at least most of them) later failed to materialise. In other words, you did not give her cash by way of a 'loan' at all, but actually paid in advance for a contract for future sexual services which (even though she breached the terms of it) is unenforceable in law (for public policy reasons).

Again, I am not criticising either you or the arrangement, but just as WG's never (or rarely) give their services without the money first, punters should limit their exposure to being ripped off by only paying for the immediate services to be received, and never for services on a future date.

[hockogrockle]

With respect, a thief steals without your knowledge and she is definitely not a robber either as she used no threat of violence or didn't break in.  You lent her money, she reneged on the repayments.

If it sounds too good to be true - twenty 'free' sessions - then it is.

You do sound infatuated and should let it lie because if you live in the past, you're gonna be depressed.

This is wrong in law. Theft is "the taking of goods belonging to another with intend to deprive the owner permanently thereof". Taking a loan with no intention of paying it back falls within this definition. Unfortunately, without any written documentation, it is just one person's word against another's, so a successful prosecution is unlikely. If you want to lend a large sum of money (interest-free or otherwis) to a prossie or anybody else, make sure you have full  accompanying written documentation. Better still, as Polonius says in Hamlet, "neither a borrower nor a lender be".

[Stealthshagger]

we need youonlypostonce to post her profile and whatnot, otherwise this is just a fart in a lift then hopping out.

[kurnlittle]

How long did it take to type that??

[Stealthshagger]

How long did it take to type that??

dunno, but if he had worked as a scribe by the hour, he could have made the 1300 back by the end.

[Ravanelli]

I lent a prossie £500 once but the background to that was that I lent her the money to get rid of her. It was the perfect solution for me, I'd been seeing her for a number of months so it could be argued that I'd had quite a number of free punts. Anyway, I'd gotten well bored and was just thinking about an out when the email arrived asking if I could lend her his money to help her over a difficult patch. I had all the proof including emails and the bank transfer so I could quite easily put through a £35 money claim online to get the money back but I lent it knowing she was unreliable, knowing I would never get it back and knowing that I would never hear from her again. I didn't and I considered it money well spent. My situation was quite unique, never ever lend a prossie money.

[maxxblue]

I lent a prossie £500 once but the background to that was that I lent her the money to get rid of her. It was the perfect solution for me, I'd been seeing her for a number of months so it could be argued that I'd had quite a number of free punts. Anyway, I'd gotten well bored and was just thinking about an out when the email arrived asking if I could lend her his money to help her over a difficult patch. I had all the proof including emails and the bank transfer so I could quite easily put through a £35 money claim online to get the money back but I lent it knowing she was unreliable, knowing I would never get it back and knowing that I would never hear from her again. I didn't and I considered it money well spent. My situation was quite unique, never ever lend a prossie money.

My understanding is that you cannot sue a WG. Although paying a WG for sex is not illegal, it is not an activity that has legal protection. I'd be interested to hear from fellow punters from the legal profession on their views.

[Ravanelli]

My understanding is that you cannot sue a WG. Although paying a WG for sex is not illegal, it is not an activity that has legal protection. I'd be interested to hear from fellow punters from the legal profession on their views.

The loan really had no connection with her work as a prossie, it was a straight forward loan between friends and whilst she could try and claim that free punts were had, it wouldn't wash in county court. The thread evidence was very clear.

[password02]

we need youonlypostonce to post her profile and whatnot, otherwise this is just a fart in a lift then hopping out.

+1  - This Comment made me laugh!!!

[fly fifer]

Ok, all you young punters.
Here’s some advice from an old punter. Disregard this at your own risk. After you have finished your session, whether it is with a working girl or a civvy.
You tell her your name is Dave, unless it is Dave, then you use some other name. You tell her that was the best sex you ever had. You get dressed; tell her you will be in touch very soon.
Then you never, ever, contact her again, for any reason, not ever, never. Any deviation from this strategy will ultimately lead to problems.
Don’t say you haven’t been warned!!!
 

[smiths]

Ok, all you young punters.
Here’s some advice from an old punter. Disregard this at your own risk. After you have finished your session, whether it is with a working girl or a civvy.
You tell her your name is Dave, unless it is Dave, then you use some other name. You tell her that was the best sex you ever had. You get dressed; tell her you will be in touch very soon.
Then you never, ever, contact her again, for any reason, not ever, never. Any deviation from this strategy will ultimately lead to problems.
Don’t say you haven’t been warned!!!
 

It would also ensure you never have a relationship with a woman ever. Not something that appeals to me but each to their own.

And if i punt with a good WG i will be returning if she is still working and she could become a regular until i get bored which i will do sooner or later.

[yorkshire123]

Ok, all you young punters.
Here’s some advice from an old punter. Disregard this at your own risk. After you have finished your session, whether it is with a working girl or a civvy.
You tell her your name is Dave, unless it is Dave, then you use some other name. You tell her that was the best sex you ever had. You get dressed; tell her you will be in touch very soon.
Then you never, ever, contact her again, for any reason, not ever, never. Any deviation from this strategy will ultimately lead to problems.
Don’t say you haven’t been warned!!!
 

What a load of bollocks, Personally if a punt is good I have no problem going back for multiple punts thereafter.
Each to their own but I won't be changing my ways & will be ignoring your advice with eyes wide open 

[fly fifer]

Ok.
Pardon my omission. I should have mentioned that if you are a great big FLUFFY, then, of course my previous advice can be completely disregarded
 

[socks]

Ok.
Pardon my omission. I should have mentioned that if you are a great big FLUFFY, then, of course my previous advice can be completely disregarded
 

Thanks for your feedback

[yorkshire123]

Ok.
Pardon my omission. I should have mentioned that if you are a great big FLUFFY, then, of course my previous advice can be completely disregarded
 

Tennent's Extra was it tonight 

[Matium]

The warning you have given Youonly live once is useless without the Adultwork name and link of the girl involved.

It would be a service to the otherwise unsuspecting men out there who could get ensnared by her in the future.

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

Obviously it was not a terminal illness as she is still around and working so perhaps it was never an illness at all.  yes she missed a booking through being ill but everyone gets ill at some point.  I would have named and shamed her.  You didnt because she spun a story about how she MIGHT have a terminal illness.  To me this is just sick.  pretending to be terminally ill is one of the very lowest things someone can do.

I entirely agree that if this is what she did, it is utterly despicable.

But what if she actually does have cancer?  Hounding a woman for money while she is battling cancer is pretty despicable too, and in this case it would be ME who is doing the despicable deed, not her.

Given the seriousness of what she has done, revealing her identity could wreck her career (and I suspect she has a large mortgage on a certain apartment...).  This isn't just a case of "failing to offer OWO as advertised" or whatever.

And she still might have cancer.  I've known more than a dozen people over the years who have developed cancer, and more than half of them were killed by it.  However, in all but one case (when she was given the all-clear before it reappeared and killed her a couple of years later), they died within a few months of diagnosis.  The fact that she is still alive, and still taking bookings, is a sign that she might be out of danger now.  But I can't know for sure.

Tumours of the middle/inner ear are rare in humans, but cancer itself is very common, whereas other "ear problems" are rare too... so if she was genuinely ill (as I believe she was), the chance of it being cancer is significant, and if so, the long-term prognosis for that form of cancer is about a 50% survival rate after 5 years.

But I still don't know if it was just an ear infection or whatever.  Hence my year-long nightmare of indecision.

I've been left in the ludicrous position of protecting the woman who betrayed me.  As I told her back in March, "you chose your victim well".

[password02]

IMO the thread should be locked as the OP is never going to reveal the AW girl so best to just move on and post elsewhere

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

The warning you have given Youonly live once is useless without the Adultwork name and link of the girl involved.

It would be a service to the otherwise unsuspecting men out there who could get ensnared by her in the future.

Yes, I appreciate that.  But I think it's likely that if anyone else reading this thread has ended up in my position, he will now come forward (I haven't yet received any PM's saying "Hey, someone did that to me, was it...?")  And surely nobody reading this thread will end up in this mess afterwards.

[smiths]

I entirely agree that if this is what she did, it is utterly despicable.

But what if she actually does have cancer?  Hounding a woman for money while she is battling cancer is pretty despicable too, and in this case it would be ME who is doing the despicable deed, not her.

Given the seriousness of what she has done, revealing her identity could wreck her career (and I suspect she has a large mortgage on a certain apartment...).  This isn't just a case of "failing to offer OWO as advertised" or whatever.

And she still might have cancer.  I've known more than a dozen people over the years who have developed cancer, and more than half of them were killed by it.  However, in all but one case (when she was given the all-clear before it reappeared and killed her a couple of years later), they died within a few months of diagnosis.  The fact that she is still alive, and still taking bookings, is a sign that she might be out of danger now.  But I can't know for sure.

Tumours of the middle/inner ear are rare in humans, but cancer itself is very common, whereas other "ear problems" are rare too... so if she was genuinely ill (as I believe she was), the chance of it being cancer is significant, and if so, the long-term prognosis for that form of cancer is about a 50% survival rate after 5 years.

But I still don't know if it was just an ear infection or whatever.  Hence my year-long nightmare of indecision.

I've been left in the ludicrous position of protecting the woman who betrayed me.  As I told her back in March, "you chose your victim well".

You dont know she has cancer for definite BUT you do know she is dishonest for definite so going on what you know as fact she is a low life who in my view deserves to be named and shamed.

IF she does have cancer its not a blank cheque to be dishonest or in anyway an excuse to have behaved as you say she has in my opinion. Bad form on your part not to name and shame her in my view but its up to you of course, i would be putting punters first going on the facts i know to be true.

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

Unfortunately sounds like you had really fallen for her. Yeah she played you and this wasn't nice of her. If it makes you feel any better it can easily of happened with a civvy too. My advice is try and get over her ASAP and learn from your mistake

Yes, I admit that my guard slipped.

At the time, she had told me that she might have cancer, but she still hadn't told me where it was located.

It was a short-notice, same-day cancellation: she was in hospital "coughing up blood".  I had already booked an afternoon off work, and so I withdrew £150 from a cashpoint to book someone else... but how could I do that while she lay dying?  I wasn't in the mood.

I felt so helpless, wondering what I could do.  I texted her, I wanted to go to the hospital, but she didn't want me there (no makeup, she "looked terrible" etc).  Eventually I topped up the cash to £300 and put it into an envelope with "I think you need this more than I do right now" scrawled on it, and stuffed it into her letterbox.  When she returned and found it, she was very grateful, she was running low on money for food and was wondering what she was going to eat!

A week later she agreed to see me.  Then she told me that the problem (whatever it was) was in her ear.  I know how lethal lung cancer is, so I was very relieved, though obviously still worried.  And my incautious remark somehow slipped out.  I had always assumed that I would never let "emotional attachment syndrome" get to me, but I guess it sort of snuck up on me from an unexpected direction, I've always had a weakness for a "damsel in distress".

I then said "Um, I guess I shouldn't have said that...", or something similar.  She said "Whoa there!".  I tried to reassure her that she was just a sex object as far as I was concerned, she put on a hurt expression, I said "OK, just kidding", we ended up agreeing to "like" each other... it was lighthearted banter.

But that's supposedly what cost me £2900 (including the value of the "freebies" she cancelled).  And if you have trouble believing that... well, you're not the only one.  But it gave her an excuse that she would use against me later.

But I think it's fair to say that I am now "cured"!  And I've carried on punting since.

[CaptainRoscoe]

This prossie stole a ton of money from you, she may or may not have cancer (despite clearly not having a good track record when it comes to integrity you believe her), took you for a fool yet you're still protecting her identity?

The true victim here? Common sense.

[smiths]

Yes, I admit that my guard slipped.

At the time, she had told me that she might have cancer, but she still hadn't told me where it was located.

It was a short-notice, same-day cancellation: she was in hospital "coughing up blood".  I had already booked an afternoon off work, and so I withdrew £150 from a cashpoint to book someone else... but how could I do that while she lay dying?  I wasn't in the mood.

I felt so helpless, wondering what I could do.  I texted her, I wanted to go to the hospital, but she didn't want me there (no makeup, she "looked terrible" etc).  Eventually I topped up the cash to £300 and put it into an envelope with "I think you need this more than I do right now" scrawled on it, and stuffed it into her letterbox.  When she returned and found it, she was very grateful, she was running low on money for food and was wondering what she was going to eat!

A week later she agreed to see me.  Then she told me that the problem (whatever it was) was in her ear.  I know how lethal lung cancer is, so I was very relieved, though obviously still worried.  And my incautious remark somehow slipped out.  I had always assumed that I would never let "emotional attachment syndrome" get to me, but I guess it sort of snuck up on me from an unexpected direction, I've always had a weakness for a "damsel in distress".

I then said "Um, I guess I shouldn't have said that...", or something similar.  She said "Whoa there!".  I tried to reassure her that she was just a sex object as far as I was concerned, she put on a hurt expression, I said "OK, just kidding", we ended up agreeing to "like" each other... it was lighthearted banter.

But that's supposedly what cost me £2900 (including the value of the "freebies" she cancelled).  And if you have trouble believing that... well, you're not the only one.  But it gave her an excuse that she would use against me later.

But I think it's fair to say that I am now "cured"!  And I've carried on punting since.

You again amaze me by talking about her cancer which you dont know as a fact she has. She has lied to you so why on earth would you be so gullible as to believe she might have cancer without having proof she has, and as i said previously even if she does thats not an excuse to have treated you, a guy who had helped her out like she has.

[password02]

smiths you are banging your head against a brick fluffy wall 

Best to leave it as he is not going to post a link

[CaptainRoscoe]

I am completely incredulous as to how some people allow themselves to be used. I genuinely want to believe this thread is a wind up, surely no one can be this gullible.

I mean really, with all due respect, it would be easy to sell you a bridge mate. This woman has taken your money, exploited your naivety and your blind sense of loyalty and yet here you are still protecting her? I doubt anyone has sympathy for you but it's incredibly selfish not to reveal her identity for future punters.

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

Ironically, since I last saw her, my current regular has become "Outcalls only", she seems to have lost the use of her apartment.

...So will I be helping her to buy a new one?  Certainly not!  But she knows what her predecessor did to me, I'm sure she will understand.

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

I'm reminded of what the parents of Madeline McCann said after they left their daughter alone to be abducted, something like "there is nothing you can say to us that we haven't already said to ourselves".  Yes, I goofed, and I've beaten myself up pretty thoroughly over this ever since.  I knew I'd get a rough ride.


So far, it's been a matter of weighing up the relative losses on both sides.

On my side: £900

On her side: not sure, but possibly the loss of her career and her home when I expose her, shortly before facing a 50% chance of imminent death.

Maybe I've just seen too much of that particular form of death.


She has also shown classic symptoms of clinical depression.  Becoming withdrawn and uncommunicative, then lashing out at someone she once regarded as a friend, and engaging in potentially self-destructive behaviour... I have seen this before.

When my wife was "off her meds" a few years ago, she kept saying that she wanted to leave me, abduct the kids, and start a new life somewhere else.  Not because I had done anything wrong (I hadn't!), but because that was her way of hurting me, and that's what depressives tend to do:  as the saying goes, "misery loves company".

For several weeks, every day I went to work, I had absolutely no idea whether or not my family would still be there when I got home (and I also had to consider the small but worrying possibility that she might kill herself and the children: that sometimes happens in these cases).  But once she was coaxed into taking antidepressants again (which is surprisingly difficult, as depressives tend to wallow in self-pity and refuse to be helped), everything was fine again.  Well, apart from the ongoing lack of sex, but Adultwork has been a big help with that!

Compared to that, the loss of £900 is trivial.  Maybe I should see it as the price I've had to pay to escape from another nightmare "relationship".


But obviously this can't go on forever.  If it wasn't cancer (or if it was, but she survived)... then what?  As more time passes, it becomes ever harder to justify protecting her like this.  A resolution will come eventually.

[password02]

Get Admin to lock the thread - People need to stop posting as we are going round in circles.

The OP is NOT going to post the link so best to leave it at that and move on.

[CaptainRoscoe]

Yes please lock this thread. It's clearly a wind-up. No one is this stupid.

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

Yes please lock this thread. It's clearly a wind-up. No one is this stupid.

Sadly, both cancer and depression are pretty common, and I've had plenty of experience with both.  So this isn't a wind-up (and if anyone thinks I've made up all of this for some bizarre reason, my Adultwork emails would prove otherwise, I could give Adam and Nik access to my AW account to verify).

Meanwhile this thread is giving me a chance to "vent" somewhat... and maybe it will encourage the escort to do some thinking when she reads it.


For instance: among the many things I don't understand about this... where did the rage come from?

She didn't actually blacklist me until after my visit to her apartment, she'd just been ignoring all my messages until then.  But then she went ballistic.  I later spotted the fact that every single email I had ever sent her (right back to the run-up to our first meeting) was flagged as "deleted", and she had even deleted some UKP PM's we had exchanged... as if she was trying to erase me from existence.

But what did she expect?  I was only doing what I had to do: what she had forced me to do, by refusing to answer my messages for so long.  If any other escort had done that to me, I would have given up on her and moved on: but she had my money.  So how did she think that was going to work out?  And why flip out when the inevitable finally happened?  Yes, I was rather harsh with her, but I was the one who actually had a reason to be pissed off... what was her problem?

How could she ever possibly have imagined that I would just quietly "walk off into the sunset", and leave her all that money... without ever knowing why???

Really, "mental illness" is the only explanation that sounds even vaguely plausible.  Somehow she was incapable of understanding the consequences of her actions, or was so wrapped up in her own little bubble of misery that she couldn't think about anything else:  until I popped her bubble and she flipped out.

[Bangers and Gash]

On her side: not sure, but possibly the loss of her career ...

Prozzying isn't a career. Get a grip of yourself.

Ignore button pressed 

[Bigus Dickus]

There's no point in posting this tale of woe whatsoever! The whole story sounds bollocks to me, especially as he won't Identify the ear cancer ridden, thieving prossie in question!

I smell an attention seeker! Fuck off to prossienet!