Excuses for getting out of the house

[tynetunnel]

Working from home most of the time and sneak out when OH is at work.

HOWEVER!

Didn't think this one through when I installed the ring doorbell and subscribed!!
Now need a plan B

I also made this mistake! 

[oldrainbow]

Before covid my excuse was im just popping down to watch my non league football or Rugby team play, used that on a few times all i had to do was check their twitter feed to catch  up on the score before i got home! But since covid she been forcing me to take the kids with me now there are older! So my punts recently have been very limited and living in a punting desert doesn't help! My last punt i had to take the morning off work to go the dentist!😉😉

[tazz]

Don't most women realise when their guy is screwing other women. SB I was seeing told me about her ex was was regularly seeing escorts. She would see messages on his phone and could tell. Lucky for him she's very liberally minded and had no issue with it. Seems to a lot more women now who are fine with it and want a threesome with an escort. I bet alot of the guys on here don't realise this about their wife.

[Bonker]

Can I have a visa to the planet you're living on please?

[JAYZ]

I often have free days during the week so if my sexless partner is working and the children are at school I have six hours to play with.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Can I have a visa to the planet you're living on please?

Bet that would go down like a Nuke burst on Mumsnet!! it'd overload every bloody server and router from here to knigdom cum;!...

[standardpostage]

Working from home most of the time and sneak out when OH is at work.

HOWEVER!

Didn't think this one through when I installed the ring doorbell and subscribed!!
Now need a plan B

Good warning 

[arrow0404]

Dashcam installed I need to drive to the petrol station on the way back from a punt to cover the 10 recording loop .... the things we do

[JonnyJ]

Good warning 

The only excuse I have to give is to the dog  the benefit of playing a long game, but when my sister stays she thinks I’m mental always popping out to gym, office, gym, golf, gym…..and yet I’m still a fat fuck !!

[davidgood]

WFH has reduced my activities but things are improving now we can go back into offices and my work does enable me to get out and about by car or public transport so I can fit bookings.

This week I took a half day holiday to attend an afternoon party and went there straight from home. My excuse to be away from the house was that I had to go into the office to do some copying and scanning and then go and see something I am dealing with before returning.

As I was supposed to be WFH in the morning, I did some e mails early morning then did some from the lounge of the venue as it has Wi Fi you can use. Risky I know, but looks better than responding from an android.

Today I had to visit somewhere in East London for work. As I was going to be near to one of my current favorite's flat, I pre-arranged a booking for late morning and was home for a late lunch and back to WFH this afternoon.

At the moment I can get out and about but when I retire it will probably be the end of my punting and partying as I have few other hobbies these days.

Regards,

davidgood

[Razor Boy]

I have a side hustle second job which takes me out of the house. OH has no clue that it earns me £1K+ a month and what times/days I should actually work on it.
Side hustle pays for punts and frees up time for them whenever I want (outside of regular job)
It's a Win/Win on money and hidden time, so happy days! 

[Moby Dick]

“You”

“I need some fucking head space”

“Why don’t you fuck off to you Mothers for a few days”

“Make it a fucking week!”

[stampjones]

Before covid Id do lunchtime or work late. Since covid being at home I just say I need to get out of the house for a bit. Its not been a problem.

[stevedave]

“You”

“I need some fucking head space”

“Why don’t you fuck off to you Mothers for a few days”

“Make it a fucking week!”

This is starting to sound like a self help forum  perhaps you need to meet more chilled out women 

[Moby Dick]

This is starting to sound like a self help forum  perhaps you need to meet more chilled out women 

Do you know any?
That’s a good excuse : “I’m off to meet more chilled out women”

“Now...where’s me wallet”

[Dipper]

I also made this mistake! 

These doorbell and dash cams are a new threat.

Makes things that bit more tricky, added to standard CCTV, the chance of a speed cam/parking ticket and the rest. 

I must reiterate ALWAYS have a reason to be where you are. Golden rule. 

[Moby Dick]

Get a virtual number and make calls using the internet. No worries about bad signal as long as you have broadband. It's also great for privacy and an alternative to a punting phone

I use wifi calling, and WhatsApp, but even then you have to get close to the router. Doesn’t travel through thick walls.
“Come on Kids, fuck off to ya bedrooms now, Daddy gotta ring Renta-whore before mummy gets back.......1....2....3”

[markballoon]

To bypass a Ring door bell turn the wifi off.

[Moby Dick]

To bypass a Ring door bell turn the wifi off.

That’ll bring the teenagers out of their caves.

[Bopcrown]

Going into the office.

Get on the train with a stopping service on the line. Get off at one of the stops for an hour or so to punt, then jump onto an express and arrive about the same time. Obviously limits my radius to near train stations, but it works for me.

[thimble29]

Worth adding, that it doesn't always take much to make some time. Having a pint on way back from dry cleaners or an errand, or getting some food shopping when you popped out to fill up the car. You really have to build the idea that you're your own person, you're out of the house sometimes and you act on a whim occasionally.
If you sign-up for the gym and always got Monday and Wednesdays then you pretend to go Friday night as a one off you're asking for trouble and raising suspicion.

[scutty brown]

Buy a dog and pretend to walk it.
Can backfire though - friend of mine bought a friendly sheepdog, but found things got complicated when the divorcee next door and her teenage daughter decided they liked dogwalking as well and offered to walk it with him "or when he was busy". Rather cramped his freedom as his wife assumed there was something going on with the two women...........poor bloke couldn't even go to the pub
On the other hand, a clean fluffy dog can be a real fanny magnet

[sparkus]

I had some errands to do all over the shop yesterday and decided to do it all by public transport as cover.  Congestion was so abysmally bad on the roads that it totally ate into any credible time allocation for punting/post punt pint.

[PaulRuff]

Not really punting related but tomorrow morning as the weather forecast is good I'll be heading out on one of my bikes for a couple of hours...in reality I'll be taking the bike less than ten minutes down the road & instead spending that time getting ridden and sucked senseless by my current bit on the side after she's made me a brew and a bacon barm.

Roll on 0730H! 

[timsussex]

Buy a dog and pretend to walk it.

......

seen a few WGs that had dogs - usually small yappy things - but i wonder how they would react if a punter turned up with his hound

[Moby Dick]

seen a few WGs that had dogs - usually small yappy things - but i wonder how they would react if a punter turned up with his hound

Should be OK if you have a white stick and sunglasses.

[tynetunnel]

Not really punting related but tomorrow morning as the weather forecast is good I'll be heading out on one of my bikes for a couple of hours...in reality I'll be taking the bike less than ten minutes down the road & instead spending that time getting ridden and sucked senseless by my current bit on the side after she's made me a brew and a bacon barm.

Roll on 0730H! 

Worth getting up early for on a Sunday morning 

[PaulRuff]

Can't fucking wait mate! 

[bob1]

When ive done outcalls before ive taken the battery out of the ring doorbell to charge it.

[RogerBoner]

To bypass a Ring door bell turn the wifi off.

My "friend" actually bought one for the home she shares with her Farang boyfriend. I shall mention this as it would work on occasion.

[GingerNuts]

Going into the office.

Get on the train with a stopping service on the line. Get off at one of the stops for an hour or so to punt, then jump onto an express and arrive about the same time. Obviously limits my radius to near train stations, but it works for me.

Must be some train journey you have when the difference is probably nearer an hour and a half even for a punt quite close to the station.

[clittielicker]

While out walking with the Mrs. we saw some anglers,
we both agreed it must be so boring....it was only afterwards I thought for the price of a cheap rod you could go missing for hours.

When you get home smelling of fish at least you have an answer.

[Moby Dick]

Not really punting related but tomorrow morning as the weather forecast is good I'll be heading out on one of my bikes for a couple of hours...in reality I'll be taking the bike less than ten minutes down the road & instead spending that time getting ridden and sucked senseless by my current bit on the side after she's made me a brew and a bacon barm.

Roll on 0730H! 

Push bike or motorbike?

[PaulRuff]

Push bike or motorbike?

Motorbike, she's a bit of a fan of them so turning up on it gets her juices flowing nice & early.

[Captainhowdy666]

Never seen so many long winded ways to get out of the house.
What’s wrong with going shops, to the tip etc?
Just tell em you’re having a wonder round town and if they do t want to tag along then fill your boots.

[Plan R]

Slightly off topic (but not totally)

Don't get a 'Nest', 'Axxxxxx' or any kind of doorcam - as they will record on the film the fact that you left the house.
Timestamped with when you  leave and when you return
Making it more difficult to have a punt even when the other half is away... "where the fuck did you go on Tuesday for 3hrs then ??!"

Possible excuse for not getting one...
No dear those things are no good as every delivery driver will just tell all his dodgy mates...
"There's no one in at number 83, I've just been told to leave a package behind the bin, they're at work - go and burgle the place ! "

Edit:   Doh - Just seen this has been addressed above      Top tip about turning off the wifi while you're away !

[shant999]

If its mains driven, just unplug and say it must have been accidentally switched of by someone.

[bigboy96]

Reading several posts, it seems to be like living in a prison  and trying to escape for an hour or two. 

[Stretfordender]

Reading several posts, it seems to be like living in a prison  and trying to escape for an hour or two.

makes me delighted to be divorced and reminds me not to commit ever again 

[Captainhowdy666]

Slightly off topic (but not totally)

Don't get a 'Nest', 'Axxxxxx' or any kind of doorcam - as they will record on the film the fact that you left the house.
Timestamped with when you  leave and when you return
Making it more difficult to have a punt even when the other half is away... "where the fuck did you go on Tuesday for 3hrs then ??!"

Possible excuse for not getting one...
No dear those things are no good as every delivery driver will just tell all his dodgy mates...
"There's no one in at number 83, I've just been told to leave a package behind the bin, they're at work - go and burgle the place ! "

Edit:   Doh - Just seen this has been addressed above      Top tip about turning off the wifi while you're away !

How many women Woolf know how to even log into a ring doorbell?

[Moby Dick]

Never seen so many long winded ways to get out of the house.
What’s wrong with going shops, to the tip etc?
Just tell em you’re having a wonder round town and if they do t want to tag along then fill your boots.

I don’t like to shit on my own doorstep.

I’ve used the going to the shops for a “long stand” and a “long weight”. 
I reckon just “gunna get some petrol” was popular a month or so ago.
But you can’t beat “Going to see a man about a dog”. In other words mind your own fucking business.

[heathen666]

I've been lucky and have had to go to site for work on a regular basis. Other half doesn't blink an eye anymore.

[PaulRuff]

Today I told the other half I was in Sheffield...in reality I was 10 minutes down the road balls deep for most of the afternoon.

Lovely.

[Mkdng]

 My excuse to be away from the house was that I had to go into the office to do some copying and scanning and then go and see something I am dealing with before returning.

 

My OH uses this excuse regularly. Wonder is she punting or being punted 

[Moby Dick]

My OH uses this excuse regularly. Wonder is she punting or being punted 

Nah, probably just having an affair.
Fucking other men for free 

[Bonker]

For free!
I pay for the Greggs pasties.

[lillythesavage]

And I take her to Weatherspoons first

[Thephoenix]

You two previous posters need to be careful.
She takes it up the arse sideways and barebacks.

She also said she particularly likes me, cos the other two blokes she sees are really ugly and have tiny willlies.

[Stiltskin]

To bypass a Ring door bell turn the wifi off.

Also, if you have a bit of techie know how, just block the MAC address on the router before you leave. Put it right when you return.

[belfastpunter]

Blink and Ring systems can be disarmed.
External Link/Members Only

Another tip. Always have a backup story thats not too complicated. Once on he way to an SP my partner spotted me and was curious why I was in that part of town. I was looking for widgets at Westfield Shopping Centre was my poker face reply. And that was the end of it.