What is your perfect massage/FBSM? And biggest FBSM pet-peeves?

[JayEZ2K]

Although massages have become a regular part of my punting experience, I've mostly seen Chinese shop tourers and a just a handful of indie Thai masseuses, all in East England. So the breadth of my experience is limited, and I wanted to get the opinions of others.

From my limited personal experience, I found that the best massages were: 30 minutes of proper technical massage, but with periodic "accidental" brushes against my inner thigh and balls, and some perhaps some accidental flirtatious contact, like accidentally rubbing her breasts against me, or breathing close to my ear. In one case, I got blatant ball tickling, with ultra-light, gentle fingernails which although abandoning convention, was very nice. Around the 30 minute mark, teasing will begin to build, perhaps still intertwined with normal massaging, and after at least a few minutes of this, the question will be gently asked "Special massage?" At this point I will agree, but then I prefer to continue with the gentle butterfly massage of my inner legs, ass, balls, cock, and periodic reach-unders for a while longer (perhaps 10 minutes total). After that, I will flip, and then the B2B/HE will begin. At this point the techniques vary widely, but ultimately should be very slow, and gradual, building up to the climax. Afterwards, she will wash her hands, and with 5 minutes remaining will give me a recovery massage, on my face or perhaps hands, with the remaining time.

Basic formula for the ideal massage
30 minutes proper massage, with some teasing
10 minutes focused teasing, build up, gentle stroking
15 minutes more intense build up with edging to the finish
  5 minutes recovery massage
60 minutes total

Biggest no-nos to ruin a massage
* Abrupt and blatant "Body-to-body?" with no build up - Come on, that's just lazy.
* Asking for extras with only 5 minutes left - I'm not paying £20 for an aggressive 5 minute wank.
* Asking to pre-pay after agreeing - I don't want to break the relaxation by getting up to pay.
* Aggressive wanking - it doesn't feel good. (Although I've found that ladies are very coach-able on proper technique)
* Poor B2B technique (This might be too complicated an art form to get into the nuances within this thread)
* Poor massage technique - mediocre, painful, or leaves marks on the skin
* Cold room, bad music, questionable towels
* Bad breath or hygiene if B2B 

So from my experience, this is what I've found to be ideal. I rarely do 30 minute massages anymore, but the best 30 minute massages were condensed versions of this, with teases and extras starting around the 10-15 minute mark, followed by extras, and omitting the recovery massage at the end due to lack of time.


Do you have a formula for your most ideal, perfect, massage or FBSM? And any particular pet peeves?

[Scotchno7]

I like it when they are OK, or better yet enjoy a bit of foot fetish action too. For me, can't beat a bit of edging with a pair of soft feet in my face 

[pewpewpew]

Being a negative shit I will add my no no's

Offering extras with no teasing beforehand.
Trying to charge me £40 for a handjob then haggling down when I say no.
Playing with my nipples. I do not like it.
Charging for everything. £20 to touch her legs, £20 for topless, £10 for extra oil, then ask for a tip at the end.
Telling me to wank myself after 5 minutes of a handjob.

[RAJEC]

No build up play, ru’s or cc’s.

Fucking. Makes. Me. Livid. 

[snaitram99]

Playing with my nipples. I do not like it.

Nor me, by some men find it stimulating or so I am told. Now I just tell them it does nothing for me.

In general I like to have a proper massage for the first half hour, although nice if some indication that more is on offer such as back massage from the top of the table with this groin area just naturally happening to touch my hands.🙂. Although I have found some move my hands to avoid this, but still offer extras later.

[Pete556]

I prefer a Happy Beginning(HB)  - so straight into the sensual part.

Immediate discussion on extras and agree on whether clothes come off or not. Agree on rules of touching.

Warm up without oil - plenty of CC swipes and reach unders
Apply a little oil and then into HB - first when lying on my front for 5 mins then turn over.
The above usually lasts about 15 mins.

After completion, into massage - as now I am totally relaxed and can really enjoy the massage.

After 30 more mins, option to have a happy ending if I am up for it.

Wipe down at the end with hot towels opposed to shower to save time.

What I don't like:-

No discussion on extras until last 15 mins - not good value for money.
Cold rooms
Taking the piss over cost of extras and then retracting if I refuse to pay what they ask.
No CC swipes or anything sensual to get me in the mood.
Untrained in massage - I'm paying for a professional massage after all.
Constant attention to phone during massage
Cut short on time

[Thephoenix]

Although massages have become a regular part of my punting experience, I've mostly seen Chinese shop tourers and a just a handful of indie Thai masseuses, all in East England. So the breadth of my experience is limited, and I wanted to get the opinions of others.

From my limited personal experience, I found that the best massages were: 30 minutes of proper technical massage, but with periodic "accidental" brushes against my inner thigh and balls, and some perhaps some accidental flirtatious contact, like accidentally rubbing her breasts against me, or breathing close to my ear. In one case, I got blatant ball tickling, with ultra-light, gentle fingernails which although abandoning convention, was very nice. Around the 30 minute mark, teasing will begin to build, perhaps still intertwined with normal massaging, and after at least a few minutes of this, the question will be gently asked "Special massage?" At this point I will agree, but then I prefer to continue with the gentle butterfly massage of my inner legs, ass, balls, cock, and periodic reach-unders for a while longer (perhaps 10 minutes total). After that, I will flip, and then the B2B/HE will begin. At this point the techniques vary widely, but ultimately should be very slow, and gradual, building up to the climax. Afterwards, she will wash her hands, and with 5 minutes remaining will give me a recovery massage, on my face or perhaps hands, with the remaining time.

Basic formula for the ideal massage
30 minutes proper massage, with some teasing
10 minutes focused teasing, build up, gentle stroking
15 minutes more intense build up with edging to the finish
  5 minutes recovery massage
60 minutes total

Biggest no-nos to ruin a massage
* Abrupt and blatant "Body-to-body?" with no build up - Come on, that's just lazy.
* Asking for extras with only 5 minutes left - I'm not paying £20 for an aggressive 5 minute wank.
* Asking to pre-pay after agreeing - I don't want to break the relaxation by getting up to pay.
* Aggressive wanking - it doesn't feel good. (Although I've found that ladies are very coach-able on proper technique)
* Poor B2B technique (This might be too complicated an art form to get into the nuances within this thread)
* Poor massage technique - mediocre, painful, or leaves marks on the skin
* Cold room, bad music, questionable towels
* Bad breath or hygiene if B2B 

So from my experience, this is what I've found to be ideal. I rarely do 30 minute massages anymore, but the best 30 minute massages were condensed versions of this, with teases and extras starting around the 10-15 minute mark, followed by extras, and omitting the recovery massage at the end due to lack of time.


Do you have a formula for your most ideal, perfect, massage or FBSM? And any particular pet peeves?

Completely agree....... What a pity that SP don't have to pass your criteria before starting out.
Maybe you could start a training course.

[Skeleton]

Agree that they need to be able to massage, I want a decent half hour massage to start rather an some idle rubbing of my back. Also like it when they keep their kit on to start then it gradually comes out, sometimes without you even realising Makes it seem like a more natural progression from a legit massage, due to the fact they clearly can't resist me!!

[JayEZ2K]

I prefer a Happy Beginning(HB)  - so straight into the sensual part... After completion, into massage - as now I am totally relaxed and can really enjoy the massage... 

Wipe down at the end with hot towels opposed to shower to save time.

Thank you, that is interesting. Might be a bit too blatant to bargain early for some people, but the whole idea of a happy beginning really flips the perspective. Maybe just shifting the start by 15 or so minutes, which would leave a lot more than the short 5 minute recovery massage at the end.

Hot towels are interesting too. I know of a Thai place in EE that uses a big basin with hot water and a hand towel to give you a sponge bath to remove the oil. I think they do this due to lack of showers, but it actually removes the oil better than using loads of soap in the shower.

Completely agree....... What a pity that SP don't have to pass your criteria before starting out.... Maybe you could start a training course.

Yes, close. After some girls were breaking the rules of etiquette (doing the no-nos above), I'm actually planning to have a guide that people can use. But I wanted to get a consensus from others' opinions about what is ideal.

[spiralnotebook]

Wipe down at the end with hot towels opposed to shower to save time.

Even worse a wipe down with a FREEZING COLD flannel, I nearly jumped off the massage table last night when she plonked it on my balls.

[Pete556]

Thank you, that is interesting. Might be a bit too blatant to bargain early for some people, but the whole idea of a happy beginning really flips the perspective. Maybe just shifting the start by 15 or so minutes, which would leave a lot more than the short 5 minute recovery massage at the end.

Hot towels are interesting too. I know of a Thai place in EE that uses a big basin with hot water and a hand towel to give you a sponge bath to remove the oil. I think they do this due to lack of showers, but it actually removes the oil better than using loads of soap in the shower.

Yes, close. After some girls were breaking the rules of etiquette (doing the no-nos above), I'm actually planning to have a guide that people can use. But I wanted to get a consensus from others' opinions about what is ideal.

The hot towel wipe down can be quite erotic in its own right. My regular uses a steamer to heat them up during the massage.

[JayEZ2K]

In regards to asking to pre-pay for extras, a mood-killer since you have to get up, perhaps that's a bit unfair if they've been burnt by punters/scumbags who didn't actually have enough money for extras (whether truly accidental or intentional). So maybe the onus will be on us to assure her that we have funds to pay, proven via exposed cash hanging from a coat pocket. (I did one time expose my extra cash to the masseuse when I initially paid her, and she still wanted me to get up and pay her. In that case, foul on her.) Otherwise the receptionist could would tell the masseuse that he's a trusted customer, which might be another recommendation? Or perhaps punters would prefer not to have that reputation?

[happyend]

Definitely jumping off the bed to find cash for any extras 

If we know it's on offer, would rather sort it out at the start. Have even left £20 out on occasion for a bit later

[MassageBloke]

The good old days of Sauna And Massage establishments seemed to work ok. Paid for a VIP at the desk, you knew you'd get a usually nice massage to start, with a nude masseuse from the off, gradually progressing to more sensual, with the expected final outcome. No haggling or will she/won't she, it was all upfront. Plus the sauna relaxation before, sometimes with one of the girls to chat with, which occasionally led to an 'extra extra' if you get my meaning.

[Pete556]

The good old days of Sauna And Massage establishments seemed to work ok. Paid for a VIP at the desk, you knew you'd get a usually nice massage to start, with a nude masseuse from the off, gradually progressing to more sensual, with the expected final outcome. No haggling or will she/won't she, it was all upfront. Plus the sauna relaxation before, sometimes with one of the girls to chat with, which occasionally led to an 'extra extra' if you get my meaning.

Sounds like heaven. I do prefer naked from the start rather than 10 mins at the end for some extortionate price.
It's why I like to discuss extras up front,  pay,  and then relax. 

[JayEZ2K]

Sounds like heaven. I do prefer naked from the start rather than 10 mins at the end for some extortionate price.
It's why I like to discuss extras up front,  pay,  and then relax.

Actually, now I recall that there are logistical reasons why extras shouldn't be discussed upfront, or even too early in the session. So I think that makes the mid-way point is a reasonable compromise, while still allowing plenty of time for a good session. On a repeat visit with same girl could probably discuss up front due to mutual trust.

[snaitram99]

Definitely jumping off the bed to find cash for any extras 

If we know it's on offer, would rather sort it out at the start. Have even left £20 out on occasion for a bit later

Usually leave a £20 note with corner poking out at my shirt pocket, standard price for HR in most massage places. When this or sometimes B2B agreed I find asking if they want the money now often leads to them saying I can pay at the end. Not always though and it does interrupt things.

Don't  mind so much for B2B as I like to get up and "help" them undress anyway. 

[Thephoenix]

The good old days of Sauna And Massage establishments seemed to work ok. Paid for a VIP at the desk, you knew you'd get a usually nice massage to start, with a nude masseuse from the off, gradually progressing to more sensual, with the expected final outcome. No haggling or will she/won't she, it was all upfront. Plus the sauna relaxation before, sometimes with one of the girls to chat with, which occasionally led to an 'extra extra' if you get my meaning.

Ah yes..... They were the days..... Happy mammories😁

[LLPunting]

Don't agree to extras with any masseuse who waits longer than half way to indicate extras on offer (unless you only want a 5 min wank).

Definitely don't pay more than 20 HR/ 30 THR / 40 B2B / 60 FS, for oral lovers you will often get RO included in the latter 2, OW(O) could also be included but don't pay more than +10.

Always confirm b2b is nude.

Don't repeat with any masseuse who agrees to removing clothes and doesn't do so from that point on, especially if you've paid and she declines you undressing her.

Decline extras (keep your money) if she takes more than a couple of mins to begin them after agreeing them.

Don't repeat with any masseuse who doesn't change her technique to suit you, if you ask.

If she sells you b2b and only does topless breast rubbing from side of you then only pay for topless (30) and don't repeat.

Turnover early if she's artless with her massage and touching.

Terminate early if she's artless and reluctant, get some money back from management if at least 15 mins remaining.

[catweazle]

The good old days of Sauna And Massage establishments seemed to work ok. Paid for a VIP at the desk, you knew you'd get a usually nice massage to start, with a nude masseuse from the off, gradually progressing to more sensual, with the expected final outcome. No haggling or will she/won't she, it was all upfront. Plus the sauna relaxation before, sometimes with one of the girls to chat with, which occasionally led to an 'extra extra' if you get my meaning.

Happy memories indeed. My very first ever punt was in such a place. After undressing, and locking my gear away in a locker, was shown into the sauna. There was a big stack of imported porno mags in there which l studied intently. Had a stonking stiffy when the door opened and in came the masseuse, wearing only a towel, which in the heat of the sauna she threw aside.

So there l was, naked, with an erection, sat next to a quite pretty naked woman who l had never seen before up until a few moments ago.

[JayEZ2K]

Don't agree to extras with any masseuse who waits longer than half way to indicate extras on offer (unless you only want a 5 min wank).

Definitely don't pay more than 20 HR/ 30 THR / 40 B2B / 60 FS, for oral lovers you will often get RO included in the latter 2, OW(O) could also be included but don't pay more than +10.

Always confirm b2b is nude.

Don't repeat with any masseuse who agrees to removing clothes and doesn't do so from that point on, especially if you've paid and she declines you undressing her.

Decline extras (keep your money) if she takes more than a couple of mins to begin them after agreeing them.

Don't repeat with any masseuse who doesn't change her technique to suit you, if you ask.

If she sells you b2b and only does topless breast rubbing from side of you then only pay for topless (30) and don't repeat.

Turnover early if she's artless with her massage and touching.

Terminate early if she's artless and reluctant, get some money back from management if at least 15 mins remaining.

Cheers, that's really useful. I think that could go into a FBSM guide for punters, which by raising expectations could also raise the quality of service. (Or at least would help people from getting cheated.)

[meptalon]

For me, the best massage is before anything else a great massage. Extras should be only that, the cherry on top.
I would definitely consider walking away if the massage is a mere robotic back rubbing.

Also, I'd say that FBM is really *full body* massage, not just back rub+wank. So if I see after a short while that only my back gets attention (CC swipes or not), I will definitely mention that I do want also arms, legs, feet, etc. massaged.

In my ideal massage, extras would be mentioned and accepted after a short while, but without having to get up and get the cash. And more importantly, whatever extras you agreed on, they should be part of the massage, not stopping massage, get extra, resume massage. I'd be definitely willing to meet that rare masseuse who would make the whole thing be part of a "unified" experience.

[RAJEC]

For me, the best massage is before anything else a great massage. Extras should be only that, the cherry on top.
I would definitely consider walking away if the massage is a mere robotic back rubbing.

Also, I'd say that FBM is really *full body* massage, not just back rub+wank. So if I see after a short while that only my back gets attention (CC swipes or not), I will definitely mention that I do want also arms, legs, feet, etc. massaged.

In my ideal massage, extras would be mentioned and accepted after a short while, but without having to get up and get the cash. And more importantly, whatever extras you agreed on, they should be part of the massage, not stopping massage, get extra, resume massage. I'd be definitely willing to meet that rare masseuse who would make the whole thing be part of a "unified" experience.

Bear in mind that for some, the wsws element is a huge thrill. I think the fbsm game is a gamble

[Agent W]

I like it if there’s a table or chair conveniently within reach of the massage table, so I can reach my wallet without having to get up. Maybe leave some notes just visible. I’ll also put my phone etc there to keep up appearances.

That said, my regular masseuse just segues into the fun part, strips off and climbs on top without saying a word.

[LLPunting]

Bear in mind that for some, the wsws element is a huge thrill. I think the fbsm game is a gamble

TCM is pretty much synonymous with "massage parlour" as in rub'n'tug if not more.  Similarly there's no expectation of WSWS at a parlour in a red-light district or with minimal/poor reputation as a genuine massage therapy establishment, if you don't get your end away then there'd be almost unanimous condemnation of the establishment.  E.g. ORBS, girls on massageme, Forever Health, Baltic, masseuses listed on VS.

WSWS is only really in play if you go to a Western/Thai/Turkish spa/salon/sauna or an indie where there's a sizeable civvie client base including women e.g. Serene Spa, Thai Spa, girls listed on treatwell.co.uk or unknowns on Gumtree.

Full Body Sensual Massage implies HE by some method. 
"Tantric" is mostly a flimsy appropriation to legitimise a wank.  Tantra may well be a genuine energetic treatment not involving sexual touch by the therapist.
Full Body Massage is likely a therapeutic service, whether Thai Yoga, Swedish, Lomi Lomi, etc.

[catweazle]

Good explanation, LL.👍👍

[Happylad]

I only ever tried it once - bath with sensual oils, followed by massage and happy ending.  The bath part was fine until I suddenly realised that my new watch, not waterproof, was still on my wrist, so I rescued it, took the back off to drain it, and asked her to put it safe;  she very helpfully put it in front of the roomheater to dry.  The massage was pleasant and the happy ending fine, and then I remembered the watch -  the roomheater had been too warm, the plastic lens had melted all over the dial and hands and glued them together, and the strap had become as brittle as a sugar stick.

I decided never to risk another.

[Kamilondon]

I only ever tried it once - bath with sensual oils, followed by massage and happy ending.  The bath part was fine until I suddenly realised that my new watch, not waterproof, was still on my wrist, so I rescued it, took the back off to drain it, and asked her to put it safe;  she very helpfully put it in front of the roomheater to dry.  The massage was pleasant and the happy ending fine, and then I remembered the watch -  the roomheater had been too warm, the plastic lens had melted all over the dial and hands and glued them together, and the strap had become as brittle as a sugar stick.

I decided never to risk another.

So because of your own stupidity and for buying a plastic watch ... you decided not to go for FBSM again ! 😂

[Happylad]

So because of your own stupidity and for buying a plastic watch ... you decided not to go for FBSM again ! 😂

Yes! Couldn`t afford both the massage AND a new watch every time.  A proper shag much easier and no need to keep buying new watches.

Of course, if I`d known that such a perspicacious fellow as yourself was readily available to offer helpful advice so freely and promptly I might have done differently.

[Kamilondon]

Yes! Couldn`t afford both the massage AND a new watch every time.  A proper shag much easier and no need to keep buying new watches.

Of course, if I`d known that such a perspicacious fellow as yourself was readily available to offer helpful advice so freely and promptly I might have done differently.

Or just do what you would normally do before jumping in the bath take off the watch

[Happylad]

Or just do what you would normally do before jumping in the bath take off the watch

 I normally wear a fully waterproof watch, but this one was a new one - a birthday present which I felt obliged to wear for a few weeks - and I simply neglected to check whether it was waterproof before I put it on.

[Kamilondon]

I normally wear a fully waterproof watch, but this one was a new one - a birthday present which I felt obliged to wear for a few weeks - and I simply neglected to check whether it was waterproof before I put it on.

Still quite a odd reason to stop going for FBSM 😀 just saying