Do any of your friends or family know...

[Punterenas]

I've posted on here about this before.
My wife knows.
We didn't have sex for 10 years. When I raised the subject I got shot down.
Basically she asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said sex, she stormed out of the room without saying a word, so I said to myself fuck this I never signed up to be a monk and I told her she was who I wanted but if she wasn't interested I would pay for it. She gave me the silent treatment for a week or so and never mentioned it. Since then I have often disappeared for a couple of hours in the evening or on a weekend and she hasn't said a word. (I went "swimming" and came back with dry kit and smelling of perfume). Its probably the only alpha male thing I've ever done in my life.
I also had a colleague who was a serial shagger, younger and much better looking than me. We used to compare notes. He had to do much more work up front to get a civvie and he reckoned our outlays per shag weren't so different but, of course he got the subsequent shags for a reduced price whereas I had to pay the same each time. He left the company we worked for then got married! So now, I have no one to talk to as all my younger, male colleagues are very "woke".

[webpunter]

A good few of my real life mates enjoy the same sport
Over a period of time conversations happen
especially when out over a few beers
Its not like you blurt out "i go punting"
More like "funny you should say that coz as it happens ..."
One thing leads to another
Its like being on here - but in the pub

Mind you when someone else joins the group & we know they don't punt or will be ear wigging the convo changes to whatever - footy / brexit blah blah

What do you think happens when blokes play golf abroad
As WW mentioned - what goes on tour ...

Real real friends - who you slowly establish are into the same thing - fine after careful risk analysis
As for family - really ??? 

Edit:  mentioning to GF / ex even a decade after action has dried up is a complete no no.  Never ever never ever.  Deny everything 

[cotton]

I have actually lent 6 girls money over the years. One paid me back almost instantly; one let me down; the others pay back in sessions - and they are always amazing.

I once lent a hooker who i liked a chunk of money , this was like 20 years ago , the agreement was that up until she paid me back i would get one free session a week. What i expected to happen was that she would never pay me back , i would get my free session every week but she would probably tell me all her problems so i would end up helping her out to some degree anyway. What actually happened was she immediately disappeared. She re-appeared a couple of years later having spunk4ed the money in some naive business venture , she persuaded me to go with her one time for free which was how i found out what happened , she gave me her number and said call her blah blah but i never did , no hard feelings but i had moved on by then.
These days id not lend money unless i has a very particular set of tactical reasons like dbyno has.

[bdyno]

I once lent a hooker who i liked a chunk of money

That's one for the "What would you never do?" thread...

[Home Alone]

A good few of my real life mates enjoy the same sport
Over a period of time conversations happen
especially when out over a few beers
Its not like you blurt out "i go punting"
More like "funny you should say that coz as it happens ..."
One thing leads to another
Its like being on here - but in the pub

Mind you when someone else joins the group & we know they don't punt or will be ear wigging the convo changes to whatever - footy / brexit blah blah

What do you think happens when blokes play golf abroad
As WW mentioned - what goes on tour ...

Real real friends - who you slowly establish are into the same thing - fine after careful risk analysis
As for family - really ??? 

Edit:  mentioning to GF / ex even a decade after action has dried up is a complete no no.  Never ever never ever.  Deny everything

Which is one of the good things about UKP.

We're all the "mates you've never met"  - to use a phrase I first used on the 'Small Dark Volume' back in the Noughties - and you can tell us what you want!

[tynetunnel]

Which is one of the good things about UKP.

We're all the "mates you've never met"  - to use a phrase I first used on the 'Small Dark Volume' back in the Noughties - and you can tell us what you want!

Exactly HA, I get a lot more from this place than simply review reading. As MME says, you guys are my ‘puntermates’ and I value the chat we have here 

[Hobbit]

A family member of mine knows and every time the subject comes up they keep asking me to quit. The other day they even said to me that "You're 42 now, so you should quit doing this". I guess they want me to retire and be a monk and repent for my sins.  Don't really know what to say to that.   

My advice to others would be don't tell anyone if you can.

[sparkus]

It's awkward when the subject is broached as a result of a TV programme but I like to think I can skirt the question well enough by now.

It took a straight face when one bird I was seeing said her sister was divorcing her husband as he "had been going to happy ending massage places" 

[formulajuan1]

My Wife knows that I Punt and has done for years, I didn't tell her she just worked it out. I just tell her I will be going out on whatever afternoon and need the car, she knows exactly what this means. She clearly doesn't approve as I usually get the silent treatment for a short while, but then we continue as each others best friend as before. We haven't had sex for years as its never been important to her, unlike me. I don't see why I should give-up my long-term Hobby because she no longer works, which used to allow me to be far more discreit. Women are very good at spotting the small signs and tiny variations to your Daily Routines pre-punt. So there is a good chance that many Wives or Partners will have already guessed your Punting Habit and are ignoring it, for the time being. I do have a chuckle at the cloak and dagger tactics that some of the guys on here have to adopt. Meanwhile I go off to my Punts totally relaxed for an afternoon of pleasure.

[myothernameis]

Some of my brothers know, but only because at the time, I was at the lowest point in my life, and ended up going to court, and spilt my guts to them

None of my friends or workmates know, but I have seen at close at hand how my workmates, reacted to someone else in my work who sees escorts

He pretty much got the piss taken out of him, and most of the females find him creepy

[Beanhead]

No one and want to keep it that way.

But I'm single and have zero responsibilities so even if I got caught or found out, other than the embarrassment factor, I think most of my closest would understand considering my personal circumstances.

[sparkus]

Some of my brothers know, but only because at the time, I was at the lowest point in my life, and ended up going to court, and spilt my guts to them

None of my friends or workmates know, but I have seen at close at hand how my workmates, reacted to someone else in my work who sees escorts

He pretty much got the piss taken out of him, and most of the females find him creepy

I wonder if the same goes for Hugh Grant, Angus Deayton and Jamie Theakston?

[webpunter]

Piers Morgan did one on Marbs [also Vegas]
Was with the ex at the time
The question was something like "is that why you & your mates go on golf trips there ?"
I said that we were staying miles away from Marbella a bit of a shit location on a golf course, that we played golf & got wasted
She didn't seem to realise there are taxis in Spain    Or just let the matter drop
The location was infact equidistant between PuertoB & Fuengirola [Estark] 

It's awkward when the subject is broached as a result of a TV programme but I like to think I can skirt the question well enough by now.

A straight face 
Best not to ask why the husband felt the need to go the massage gaffs
Who gets caught going for a R&T ?
Not a UKP'er me thinks

It took a straight face when one bird I was seeing said her sister was divorcing her husband as he "had been going to happy ending massage places" 

[webpunter]

Frank Bough
Peter Crouch
Lamps [in Vegas] - although not 100% he was paying
this list is endless - especially footy players

The more money geezers have the more they will do it
Especially when they have some 'get up & go' about them

I wonder if the same goes for Hugh Grant, Angus Deayton and Jamie Theakston?

[sparkus]

Piers Morgan did one on Marbs [also Vegas]
Was with the ex at the time
The question was something like "is that why you & your mates go on golf trips there ?"
I said that we were staying miles away from Marbella a bit of a shit location on a golf course, that we played golf & got wasted
She didn't seem to realise there are taxis in Spain    Or just let the matter drop
The location was infact equidistant between PuertoB & Fuengirola [Estark] 

A straight face 
Best not to ask why the husband felt the need to go the massage gaffs
Who gets caught going for a R&T ?
Not a UKP'er me thinks

I didn't probe much but apparently he blurted it out, either in anger or as confession 

[sparkus]

Frank Bough
Peter Crouch
Lamps [in Vegas] - although not 100% he was paying
this list is endless - especially footy players

The more money geezers have the more they will do it
Especially when they have some 'get up & go' about them

I've seen the film 'Very Bad Things', you wouldn't catch me at that in Vegas. Though that was some WG.

Also, Wayne Rooney 

[Fuzzyduck]

But I'm single and have zero responsibilities so even if I got caught or found out, other than the embarrassment factor, I think most of my closest would understand considering my personal circumstances.

Fair enough but you might not always be single and over time even your mates might blurt. Imagine you meet a girl you really like, perhaps enough to give up (temporarily at least) your whoring. Then some rival beau or gossipy mate shoots you down by mentioning to her that you pay for having your cock sucked. You might have some regrets about telling anyone then.

[cotton]

No one and want to keep it that way.

But I'm single and have zero responsibilities so even if I got caught or found out, other than the embarrassment factor, I think most of my closest would understand considering my personal circumstances.

Yeh probably best not sharing it with just anyone , rather evaluate who are trustworthy confidants like partners in crime or mates that years of shared experience has established a bond of trust , dont share it with any old billy blabbermouth. As Fuzzy says if you havnt got any real trustworthy freinds your better not telling anyone, its information that in the wrong hands could be used to hurt you , so best err on the side of caution , if you dont have any freinds your sure about tell no-one.

[Doc Holliday]

Friends fall out. Tell nobody. Everyone has something to lose.

[OakTree]

Friends fall out. Tell nobody. Everyone has something to lose.

Yep it really is the best way.

It's the same if you're going to do away with someone. Do it yourself, don't get others involved. They'll crack when it comes to it and they've always something on you.

Shit! do you think I let on too much there. 

[winkywanky]

How much did you pay for the hit then Mr. Oak Tree?

And did they do a good, clean job?

[Steely Dan]

I knew about Angus and Hugh, but never even heard of Jamie Theakston.  So I read the story.  Interesting that in the ruling allowing the paper to publish, the judge said

PROSTITUTES owe no duty of confidentiality to their clients, a judge said yesterday as he explained why he had not granted the wish of Jamie Theakston, the television presenter, to keep secret a visit to a brothel.

Clearly for business reasons they need to be discreet , but interesting that it is not a legal requirement. I guess this makes sense - they are not lawyers - but never though of this before.

[winkywanky]

Of course not, it's a free country.

Blackmail is of course illegal. But you can pretty well say anything you want about someone, or print aything for that matter, it's a free country. So long as it's true of course, because then you get into the realms of slander. The sham that was Leveson Enquiry in the wake of the Milly Dowler phone hacking scandal has done virtually nothing to stop the gutter press plying their grubby little trade

As a high profile celeb your punting days are over. A WG selling the story of a juicy encounter with someone well-known would probably be looking at £100K or more, particularly depending on how desperate the rag was to expose someone they didn't like.

And as that celeb, in the days before publication you could look forward to receiving a phone call from the paper to 'put your side of the story'. You then get the choice between damage limitation or taking both barrels from some seedy little hack who's probably been seeing prostitutes all his adult life.

Once you get well-known, you can't trust anyone not to shit on you for money, and you also have to be incredibly careful what you put on your Twitter feed, someone, somewhere will get upset over something pretty innocuous and your name will soon be mud and you'll be apologising through gritted teeth for the next 3mths.

Who'd be a celeb? 

[Punterenas]

My Wife knows that I Punt and has done for years, I didn't tell her she just worked it out. I just tell her I will be going out on whatever afternoon and need the car, she knows exactly what this means. She clearly doesn't approve as I usually get the silent treatment for a short while, but then we continue as each others best friend as before. We haven't had sex for years as its never been important to her, unlike me. I don't see why I should give-up my long-term Hobby because she no longer works, which used to allow me to be far more discreit. Women are very good at spotting the small signs and tiny variations to your Daily Routines pre-punt. So there is a good chance that many Wives or Partners will have already guessed your Punting Habit and are ignoring it, for the time being. I do have a chuckle at the cloak and dagger tactics that some of the guys on here have to adopt. Meanwhile I go off to my Punts totally relaxed for an afternoon of pleasure.

I think it says a lot about some women that they expect their partners to just silently put up with a situation they didn't agree to or ask for. It's simply never occurred to my OH that I wouldn't be doing this if she had put out once in a while!

[OakTree]

How much did you pay for the hit then Mr. Oak Tree?

And did they do a good, clean job?

One would hope.

Must dash, it's visiting hour. 

[winkywanky]

 

You must be on 'privileges' with your internet access  .

[tangledupinblue]

I told the dog who then told the cat who then told the wife, so now I’m in the naughty corner.

[Beanhead]

Fair enough but you might not always be single and over time even your mates might blurt. Imagine you meet a girl you really like, perhaps enough to give up (temporarily at least) your whoring. Then some rival beau or gossipy mate shoots you down by mentioning to her that you pay for having your cock sucked. You might have some regrets about telling anyone then.

Yeh probably best not sharing it with just anyone , rather evaluate who are trustworthy confidants like partners in crime or mates that years of shared experience has established a bond of trust , dont share it with any old billy blabbermouth. As Fuzzy says if you havnt got any real trustworthy freinds your better not telling anyone, its information that in the wrong hands could be used to hurt you , so best err on the side of caution , if you dont have any freinds your sure about tell no-one.

Yep it really is the best way.

It's the same if you're going to do away with someone. Do it yourself, don't get others involved. They'll crack when it comes to it and they've always something on you.

Shit! do you think I let on too much there. 

Agree with all of that tbh. My choice is no one knows except me, guess the risk is as FD says, all about if I was to give it up punting and settle and one pillock decided to go off.

Valid point.

[formulajuan1]

I think it says a lot about some women that they expect their partners to just silently put up with a situation they didn't agree to or ask for. It's simply never occurred to my OH that I wouldn't be doing this if she had put out once in a while!

Agree 100% Punterenas. We are in much the same boat, we are too good a meal-ticket to pass by. In the words of the old joke "Why does a Bride look so happy leaving the Church?" "Because she'll never need to give another Blow Job!"
Staying on Thread. Many women are far more perceptive than men think. Pre-punt we all leave little clues that Wives & Partners might notice. Cleaning your shoes on a different day, wearing your best boxers, drawing out cash more frequently. Guys who think that their Punting Hobby is a secret may be mistaken. As a PS to my above Post. As the Wife is clearly fully aware of my trips "going for a Massage" I have recently begun to give her a few little details, like the town I'm visiting and which Reg girl I'm seeing. Presumably she's relieved that she is completely off the hook!

[webpunter]

Very mistaken
IMO it's all about consistency in behaviour
It's more about what you don't do rather than what you do do
So if there are things that you would do that would irritate the OH make sure as fuck you do them after the tanks are emptied
Not to excess just don't not do them
And FFS never ever ever ever come home with a bunch of flowers 
Especially when you've been shagged to within an inch of keeling over
& being drained.  Not a drop left
Just in case she decides to put out & that is where problems really start beginning !

Pre-punt we all leave little clues that Wives & Partners might notice. Cleaning your shoes on a different day, wearing your best boxers, drawing out cash more frequently. Guys who think that their Punting Hobby is a secret may be mistaken

[freeze44]

Very mistaken
IMO it's all about consistency in behaviour
It's more about what you don't do rather than what you do do
So if there are things that you would do that would irritate the OH make sure as fuck you do them after the tanks are emptied
Not to excess just don't not do them
And FFS never ever ever ever come home with a bunch of flowers 
Especially when you've been shagged to within an inch of keeling over
& being drained.  Not a drop left
Just in case she decides to put out & that is where problems really start beginning !

  Well put and as you say act normal.  Must be a riot when donjuane 'has a little chuckle' at others 

And yes no flowers. chocs or new shoes cause as ya say may have to try and bang the oh and unless anal cim and plenty of owo on the cards going to be like raising the dead! 

[webpunter]

 
For me a second cumming is highly unlikely
Well not without a decent recovery period
"why don't we go to your fave restaurant darling"
To set the mood etc 

Well put and as you say act normal.  Must be a riot when donjuane 'has a little chuckle' at others 

And yes no flowers. chocs or new shoes cause as ya say may have to try and bang the oh and unless anal cim and plenty of owo on the cards going to be like raising the dead! 

When out with the ex i overheard the tail end of a convo her & mates talking girlie stuff
The jist of it was that one of the women thought hubby was either having an affair or paying for it
So when he got back she was all over him to test if he could perform

[Cum_again]

I’m not really into vanilla stuff so it makes it harder..

It’s tricky to explain away why I like pissing on girls, spanking them and ramming my cock down their throats...

Most natural thing in the world though 

 

[Chorley]

Absolutely fucking not!!!

[sparkus]

For me a second cumming is highly unlikely
Well not without a decent recovery period
"why don't we go to your fave restaurant darling"
To set the mood etc 

When out with the ex i overheard the tail end of a convo her & mates talking girlie stuff
The jist of it was that one of the women thought hubby was either having an affair or paying for it
So when he got back she was all over him to test if he could perform

I've had some near misses on that score, I can tell you 

[Home Alone]

Agree 100% Punterenas. We are in much the same boat, we are too good a meal-ticket to pass by. In the words of the old joke "Why does a Bride look so happy leaving the Church?" "Because she'll never need to give another Blow Job!"
Staying on Thread. Many women are far more perceptive than men think. Pre-punt we all leave little clues that Wives & Partners might notice. Cleaning your shoes on a different day, wearing your best boxers, drawing out cash more frequently. Guys who think that their Punting Hobby is a secret may be mistaken. As a PS to my above Post. As the Wife is clearly fully aware of my trips "going for a Massage" I have recently begun to give her a few little details, like the town I'm visiting and which Reg girl I'm seeing. Presumably she's relieved that she is completely off the hook!

Which, as I've observed a number of times on here, is why I didn't start punting until just over 18 months after the OH & 'my successor' had pissed off down south. I was always a rotten liar; she could tell when I was fibbing. If I'd been a punter, as well as committing all the other crimes & misdemeanours she accused me of, the split would have cost me much more than it did.

[G-style]

My experience is the same as most. Never told anyone.
It would be nice to be able to compare notes down the pub.
The OH and I don't sleep in the same room, an issue with snoring, and haven't for years.
Before that sex was only on offer high days and holidays.
She doesn't smoke, never has, so she is ultra sensitive yet she never seems to question the smell of smoke, jos-stick, perfume and very occasionally dope(not me but the whore room stank of it).
Does she suspect? I don't think so but I also think she doesn't want to know.
Keep it discreet is my plan.
And I can't believe I told you buggers this much.

[G-style]

and then the next thing I read is all about getting rid of the various smells ....

[Watts.E.Dunn]

I don't know why with relationships like that where the sex is absent it should the done thing for the wife to let seeing escorts be permitted after all punters dont run off with them therir far more likely to run off with the young floozey thing form the accounts dept at work;!.

I did hear from the ex French missus that it was also the done thing in places like Paris to practice sanq au sept (between 5 and 7) where it was the done thing to go and see the mistress on the way home from work on a Friday aftenoon!..

Seems that the Mrs was once the Mistress in a lot of cases!   

[rockstar]

Years ago I was having a drinking session with an old friend and his younger female 'friend' who lived there and we ended up speaking about paying for sex. Thought nothing of until a week later I had a text from her asking to come round so I did.
My mate was away shagging so I went in and she is in a dressing gown and before I could say anything she opened it to reveal black stockings and suspenders and told me she wanted to see if I was up for a deal. I spent all afternoon and evening there, gave her some cash and continued to see her for the next 3 years.

[Home Alone]

Years ago I was having a drinking session with an old friend and his younger female 'friend' who lived there and we ended up speaking about paying for sex. Thought nothing of until a week later I had a text from her asking to come round so I did.
My mate was away shagging so I went in and she is in a dressing gown and before I could say anything she opened it to reveal black stockings and suspenders and told me she wanted to see if I was up for a deal. I spent all afternoon and evening there, gave her some cash and continued to see her for the next 3 years.

Okay, rockstar; we've gotta ask. Did you discuss that with your  mate?! 

[stampjones]

Friends fall out. Tell nobody. Everyone has something to lose.

Yep.
My best friend once told me he’d started seeing prostitutes. I said nothing though I was pretty experienced. I was married, he was single. Years later we aren’t that close anymore but occasionally meet up with wives. Obviously I’d never say anything but I often imagine he must be sitting wondering if I’m going to blow his secret in a drunken faux pas. I know I would be if the situations were reversed. If you want something to stay secret, tell no-one.

[sparkus]

I suspect any intent to tell or discuss this is just some self-indulgent attempt at 'cake and eat it' on the part of some e.g. "Oh, look at me with my secret double life that no one knows about but I feel the need to at least tell someone about" - best kept for UKP anon really.

Of course, there may be those with a need to 'talk about it' with someone in terms of managing an addiction (guilty as charged) or feelings of guilt and or self-loathing.  Again, would be be best kept for an appropriate forum or service rather than blurting it out to someone who's entirely unsympathetic.

And as SJ has alluded to, you don't know the motives or wherefores of any mate or family member in future.  Plus, a lot of blokes would love to engage in paid sex but either don't have the confidence/nouse to or have ethical qualms etc. Again, such people are likely to be more resentful of any fun you're having rather than sit there going "Cor! Go on, my son!"

[tynetunnel]

And as SJ has alluded to, you don't know the motives or wherefores of any mate or family member in future.  Plus, a lot of blokes would love to engage in paid sex but either don't have the confidence/nouse to or have ethical qualms etc. Again, such people are likely to be more resentful of any fun you're having rather than sit there going "Cor! Go on, my son!"

Definitely. I dropped a very long term friend after he treated me very badly and I decided my life would be improved if he were no longer a part. If he’d have known about my punting life I’d have been worried who or what he might tell, in potential revenge. It’s best keep this little secret in our heads and just discuss matters on here anonymously

[sparkus]

Definitely. I dropped a very long term friend after he treated me very badly and I decided my life would be improved if he were no longer a part. If he’d have known about my punting life I’d have been worried who or what he might tell, in potential revenge. It’s best keep this little secret in our heads and just discuss matters on here anonymously

The same friend may also not fall out with you but in years to come find religion and take a dim view of your hobby and try to 'save' you from it.

I would however be interested to know if anyone has told anyone else and there's been a positive side? Told your best mate and you're now punting buddies and do high-fives after seeing the same girl?

Weirdly enough I always get around questions from women who ask how I knew to ask about them in shops by saying they were "recommended by a friend".  He serves me well does Hugh Kaye-Punting 

[Visionist]

It must be a cultural thing here in Italy, but I've had no problem telling a couple friends. Both are in my (young) age group and would like to try it but are either married with kids or have a girlfriend. They balk at the money I spend, but it can't be lost on them how much I'm also saving by being single.

Before I started indulging this hobby, other Italian friends of mine would openly discuss seeing various streetwalkers, with each other and me, whilst we were out in public besides. One friend and his brother separately, even had us drive around with him looking for girls after dark. There's no shortage of them here, always African or eastern European. They may be cheap and some even look OK, but they give me the heebie jeebies. Funny how an expensive escort in a gritty apartment somehow feels more couth.

[Home Alone]

I've just had a classic example of how this pastime can - not make you paranoid, - but certainly increase any inherent tendencies towards paranoia.

In December, I had my usual Christmas card from a couple of former colleagues. As it happens, they live near what used to be Sandy's Prestwich Parlour and I'm convinced that the husband was shopping in the supermarket at the end of that terrace and saw me emerging through the ginnel after a punt there some 12 or 13 years ago. I've not seen either of them to talk to since before then .

Anyway when the Christmas card arrived, it included a note written by the wife saying that her husband had terminal cancer and is on palliative care. Not wishing to stick my nose in, I asked another friend - a feminist - who is in closer touch with them to let me know when he passed away so I could at least send a sympathy card. I then didn't hear another word from her and was convinced that the story of my being seen emerging from that place of ill-repute had been passed onto her. Which, I'm sure, she would have found sufficiently reprehensible to have ended all contact with me.

And then, this morning, there was a friendly email from her - just general news of other former colleagues - which made no mention of the other fellow's state of health or my, erm, 'transgression'.

I don't think there's an emoji conveying "Phew!", but that was what I felt. My 'guilty little secret' is still just that.

[django0700]

The only friends who know are those who introduced me to punting. I usually guide them towards reliable service providers when they come to the UK and they do the same when I visit their home countries. No one else....

[Nagilum]

Only a very close friend who punts with me on holidays.