Close shaves

[Spanish Lad]

Close shaves as in almost getting caught/found out by the Missus/GF rather than shaved pussies.
Recently I have been getting a little paranoid thinking that the missus suspects I may be punting. So yesterday after returning home after a punt the first thing she says to me as I walk in through the door was "I know where you have been!" My first reaction was Fuck, she knows. It only took me a split second to realise that she was referring to the pub rather that having been for a punt (supposed to be off the booze for a couple of weeks) and I don't think I gave away any massively guilty facial reaction.

Like most regular punters I have my windows of opportunities carefully planned and I try not to deviate from this so as to minimise risks of being found out. But recently my working patterns have changed and I am out of my normal routine which I am finding more difficult to plan my punts around. So it is taking some time to adjust to these new hours and I think this could be a possibly risky period for me. A time to be extra cautious.

[threechilliman]

This is an opportunity.

A new work routine allows you to introduce 'windows of opportunity'. Like you I plan them carefully and usually book with the girl well in advance. Arriving home to the misses post-punt is risky - I can't do that - try to avoid if possible.

[CBPaul]

Good that you are being cautious and realise the potential danger, be very careful, OHs tend to have a nose for something being different and remain suspicious for a very long time. If in doubt stop punting for a bit. On the other hand your new routine will present new opportunities for punting.

Personally I never punt and return home straight after, it risks too many tells that I've doing the dirty. I punt morning or lunch time which give me a chance to return to normality before presenting myself to Mrs CBP. She once picked up on a new shower gel scent that I'd used hours earlier, made a good excuse but it served as a warning never to fall into that trap again, she bought the excuse the first time but I'd have problems if it occurred again.

[Stiltskin]

I had a close shave punting and then returning home straight after. I'd planned on having my punt at 6pm, just after work and returning home in good time to have a shower.

It didn't go that way. There were massive delays on the trains out of London and I didn't get back until 1am! At which point there was no way I could just jump in the shower without waking everyone up and arousing suspicion. I had to crawl into bed next to the missus unwashed, possibly smelling of lube, condoms and perfume She didn't fully wake up, thank god.

[Captain Kang]

I once arrived home 'from work' sat down and took my shoes off in front of the Mrs... To reveal a condom wrapper sitting in the heel area. Luckily she didn't spot it and with a quick ninja move it vanished into the toe.

Must have fallen off the edge of the bed and dropped right in there. You can't be too careful.

[threechilliman]

Guys, the risks you take!

First rule for me is never, ever return home to a waiting OH, absolute no, no IMO.

Lunchtime punt accepted CBP

I carry a can of my normal deodorant hidden in the car, which I take in with me

tcm

[akauya]

This kind of threads should be in the off-topic so that casual mumsnet scouts don't get tips about the tactics we employ to avoid getting found out.