Admin may not allow this tall story about a parrot and a brothel, but there are so little opportunities to tell it ...
A woman was looking for a pet parrot, to teach it to speak, and so on, but they were expensive. She scanned the papers, the internet, but the cheapest were all over £400. Then she found one advertised "...talking parrot, healthy, £100..." so she phoned the number.
The owner said the parrot had spent its life in a brothel lounge, so had very colourful language, but was healthy enough. The woman decided to buy it, and teach it nicer words.
The whole journey home, it shrieked profanities at her. "Big tits, gobble gobble, show us yer pussy..."
It calmed down eventually, just squawking the occaisional "fuck" or "cunt" when she caught its eye, but when her grown-up daughters came in from work, it flapped its wings, hopping on its perch and started squawking again...
"Lesbian duo, show us yer tits, stockings in bed, do you take it up the arse?, cum on your face...."
The girls thought it was hilarious, cried laughing and more so at their mother's embarrassment.
Eventually the parrot quietened down some. They all heard a car pulling up outside, and the parrot went silent.
It tilted its head to one side, listening as male footsteps approached outside. Shifted along its perch, listening intently, as the man strode into the house, jangling his keys and called "hello" to his family.
He opened the living room door to see the parrot look his way, as it called out; "All right Frank. Long time, no see!"