"Just Like a Vicarage Tea Party - but with Sex".

[Dirty Bull]

Such was the late celebrated Madam Cynthia Payne's own description of her 'naughty' little soirees in suburban Streatham, south London which attracted, so we are told, a crowd that included a least one CofE Bishop, a few members of the House of Lords, and not to mention a good number of Westminster MPs besides.
I must admit I burst out laughing uproariously for a full five minutes after reading that lovely little quotation and description.
One can almost imagine the Earl Grey flowing, the Madeira and Battenberg being sliced, and cucumber sandwiches being passed all around.
A happy and convivial atmosphere all round, polite company, delightful food, good conversation, whilst being stark bollock naked with distinguished strangers, and not to mention the jolly rogering going on upstairs.

My question is, do any of the contemporary London parties have anything to match in pleasantries and conviviality?

[Dirty Bull]

All it really needs is that Dick Emery comedy vicar with the big teeth 

Come to think about it 'dick emery' is the perfect description of the aftermath of a damned good party 

[tesla]

Such was the late celebrated Madam Cynthia Payne's own description of her 'naughty' little soirees in suburban Streatham, south London which attracted, so we are told, a crowd that included a least one CofE Bishop, a few members of the House of Lords, and not to mention a good number of Westminster MPs besides.
I must admit I burst out laughing uproariously for a full five minutes after reading that lovely little quotation and description.
One can almost imagine the Earl Grey flowing, the Madeira and Battenberg being sliced, and cucumber sandwiches being passed all around.
A happy and convivial atmosphere all round, polite company, delightful food, good conversation, whilst being stark bollock naked with distinguished strangers, and not to mention the jolly rogering going on upstairs.

My question is, do any of the contemporary London parties have anything to match in pleasantries and conviviality?

member since 2013 and you haven't made 20 posts yet , no reviews and all you ask about is parties, outstanding contribution to the forum, NOT!

leech!

[Dirty Bull]

Look, this is a democracy.
We all work to different tempos.

Why the anger and hatred?
It's not like it's your personal property.

[tynetunnel]

member since 2013 and you haven't made 20 posts yet , no reviews and all you ask about is parties, outstanding contribution to the forum, NOT!

leech!

He’s managed the big 20 now!  Heading for an average of two a year. Good lad!

[Dirty Bull]

I'm a slow worker

[scutty brown]

I'm a slow worker

We realise you're slow, that's why special allowances were made for you. But as for working??? Slowness usually make working difficult.
But the big question is: do you actually fuck escorts? Or are you too slow for that?

[Dirty Bull]

It's known in the trade as 'British Leyland Disease', that is 'downing tools on the job'.
(If you are old enough to get the reference  ).

Anyhow, for various reasons I've taken a loooong break.
As the saying goes, just like the British legal system's attitude to punting, I 'waiver between repression and licence' according to whim, circumstances and phases of the moon 

[LLPunting]

It's known in the trade as 'British Leyland Disease', that is 'downing tools on the job'.
(If you are old enough to get the reference  ).

Anyhow, for various reasons I've taken a loooong break.
As the saying goes, just like the British legal system's attitude to punting, I 'waiver between repression and licence' according to whim, circumstances and phases of the moon 

So you have seen escorts in the time you've been using this board?  Or are you saying you stopped shagging after the party you mentioned up top and haven't dipped a minge or mouth since?

[winkywanky]

I think his reference to British Leyland meant his cock fell off?

[winkywanky]

And then when management asked for it to be put back on there was a strike.

[Horizontal pleasures]

Dirty Bull, were you ever at the parties in Ambleside Avenue? I do not think so. Except for a couple of eccentric extroverts we were NOT stark naked, we kept our clothes on unless we went upstairs except for the the eccentric couple who would do an exhibition round in the lounge sometimes.

What WAS fun is what Cynthia called her bunk up mights. There were some out-of-town ladies who came the night before and stayed over. Special guests (like me!) were invited to meet these ladies. I used to see a young slim and a young BBW lady together, friends from South Wales and we entwined like ying and yang. On one such occasion the police came, I was stark naked. I was given time to dress and over half my life later I do not remember what happened next.

a couple of days ago in the Pure Filth thread I recalled doing it in a bath as all the bedrooms were taken.

There may have been lords and lawyers but they kept low key and no one was outed.

[winkywanky]

Dirty Bull, were you ever at the parties in Ambleside Avenue?

I think he probably read it in The News Of The Screws.

[tesla]

Look, this is a democracy.
We all work to different tempos.

Why the anger and hatred?
It's not like it's your personal property.

no it's not a democracy, it's admins site and , he makes the rules, members are expected to contribute,

no its not my personal property, but your contribution to this site is virtually non existent, you have made more posts per year since I called you out for being a leech,

[Dirty Bull]

I've been away from the scene for a long time - I tell you - due to 'circumstances'.
Just tentatively dipping a toe - if nothing else - into the current scene with a view to 'taking the plunge' again. After this god awful virus, of course. One needs to put the smile back on one's face.
All I'm going is putting out feelers, so to speak, to see what the current London Party Scene - my former joy and past time - is like after all these years. And I like to hear so good tales from the scene.
The last time I punted was in 2017 at the Paradise Spa, Dagenham so called 'Coffee Morning', which I can assure you was rather more risqué than 'white, with two lumps and a sponge finger'. Good time was had by all. Now, sadly, long gone. Searching for a similar replacement.

Oh, I was 13 years old the day the Cynthia Payne raid broke. But I would love to read some stories from a veteran of that place about what actually went on there.

[Home Alone]

I've been away from the scene for a long time - I tell you - due to 'circumstances'.
Just tentatively dipping a toe - if nothing else - into the current scene with a view to 'taking the plunge' again. After this god awful virus, of course. One needs to put the smile back on one's face.
All I'm going is putting out feelers, so to speak, to see what the current London Party Scene - my former joy and past time - is like after all these years. And I like to hear so good tales from the scene.
The last time I punted was in 2017 at the Paradise Spa, Dagenham so called 'Coffee Morning', which I can assure you was rather more risqué than 'white, with two lumps and a sponge finger'. Good time was had by all. Now, sadly, long gone. Searching for a similar replacement.

Oh, I was 13 years old the day the Cynthia Payne raid broke. But I would love to read some stories from a veteran of that place about what actually went on there.

That is preposterous, Dirty Bull. You're writing through your arse.

One of our number on here has posted umpteen times of his experiences chez Cynthia Payne back in the day.

It's almost impossible for any member on here to have read even a cross section of posts by Horizontal pleasures without coming across his reminiscences.

[tesla]

I've been away from the scene for a long time - I tell you - due to 'circumstances'.
Just tentatively dipping a toe - if nothing else - into the current scene with a view to 'taking the plunge' again.
The last time I punted was in 2017 at the Paradise Spa, Dagenham so called 'Coffee Morning',

so you have been away , yet you were asking about parties last June, what have you done in the last year?
last time you punted was 2017, yet you failed to leave a review,  so no contribution there!
and you are still asking questions , this is a sharing site , not "I will read it all and use the info site."

[Dirty Bull]

Here's my review, to make you all happy.

Dagenham Spa, January 2017.

"Luna was rather good".
 

[Home Alone]

Here's my review, to make you all happy.

Dagenham Spa, January 2017.

"Luna was rather good".
 

In perhaps 7 or 8 years of reading this Board before becoming a contributing member in late 2016, I've never been annoyed as much by such an infantile post.

So I apologise to the rest of you, but, "Fuck off, Dirty Bull, you arrogant twat of a leech."

[tesla]

In perhaps 7 or 8 years of reading this Board before becoming a contributing member in late 2016, I've never been annoyed as much by such an infantile post.

So I apologise to the rest of you, but, "Fuck off, Dirty Bull, you arrogant twat of a leech."

gone now, thanks mods

[Horizontal pleasures]

gone now, thanks mods

Like

[Fuzzyduck]

In perhaps 7 or 8 years of reading this Board before becoming a contributing member in late 2016, I've never been annoyed as much by such an infantile post.

So I apologise to the rest of you, but, "Fuck off, Dirty Bull, you arrogant twat of a leech."

Wowzer, you were pissed off HA, weren't you. He didn't really get it, did he?

[tynetunnel]

In perhaps 7 or 8 years of reading this Board before becoming a contributing member in late 2016, I've never been annoyed as much by such an infantile post.

So I apologise to the rest of you, but, "Fuck off, Dirty Bull, you arrogant twat of a leech."

Don’t hold back HA, no need to be shy here, you’re among friends  No apology needed 

Good work by Ali Katt 

[davidgood]

Not sure if you saw DB's comments in another thread;-

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=278203.msg2873311#msg2873311

I hope the link works.

I knew the woman he was reffering to well and would be surprised if she could not cope with his massive endowment.  I doubt if he did actually bring her to an orgasm like a steam train. But his comments suggest he is a bit of a fantasist and a self confessed party hogger!!

I was going to reply to his original post but held fire when the flack started, however I will give his question some thought and come back with some views when I have time.

Regards,

davidgood

[Home Alone]

Wowzer, you were pissed off HA, weren't you. He didn't really get it, did he?

Yes, Fuzzy, I was!

To have been a member on here for as long as he had been and not have read any of Hp's descriptions of Cynthia Payne's parties were, imo, grounds in themselves to expel him. But then to give us that sarcastic 'review' was just the last straw for me.

So, no; imo, he really didn't get it.

[Home Alone]

Don’t hold back HA, no need to be shy here, you’re among friends  No apology needed 

Good work by Ali Katt 

Thanks, tt. I would have preferred, shall we say, a more elegant put-down; but he was just so infuriating.

[Nigel57]

Reading about Cythia Paynes tax woes is the only time I've had a good laugh while reading tax cases!

[Steely Dan]

External Link/Members Only

If anyone has some time on their hands, perhaps add a section about Cynthia' parties to the bottom of this page, or better still create a new page.

[Colston36]

Dirty Bull, were you ever at the parties in Ambleside Avenue? I do not think so. Except for a couple of eccentric extroverts we were NOT stark naked, we kept our clothes on unless we went upstairs except for the the eccentric couple who would do an exhibition round in the lounge sometimes.

What WAS fun is what Cynthia called her bunk up mights. There were some out-of-town ladies who came the night before and stayed over. Special guests (like me!) were invited to meet these ladies. I used to see a young slim and a young BBW lady together, friends from South Wales and we entwined like ying and yang. On one such occasion the police came, I was stark naked. I was given time to dress and over half my life later I do not remember what happened next.

a couple of days ago in the Pure Filth thread I recalled doing it in a bath as all the bedrooms were taken.

There may have been lords and lawyers but they kept low key and no one was outed.

Congratulations - and envy! Your time on earth has not been wasted.

[davidgood]

To go back to the first post and DB's ideas of CP's parties, I would say that Pam's Parties, especially the ones held in the West Kensington house, were probably closest to Cynthia's.

Although the clients were mixed, there were usually  a fair number of older professional guys in attendance. There were many good interesting conversations in the lounge and kitchen between vists upstairs to play with the good line-ups of entertaining ladies.

Although you had to take your own booze, Pam always put on a good spread of food, soft drinks, tea and coffee.

Sadly Pam's Parties are history now.

Moving on the present day, pre Lockdown, then my experiences of hospitality and conviviality  with partying are as follows;-

Lady P's Brunch- chilli and rice is provided for the lunch break, there is tea, coffee and squash. There is usually a bit of conversation around the bar or in the lounge.

Greedy Girls- I have not been for a while but Debbie usually provides some nibbles for lunch.

Swingers & Sinners- provide a reasonanble spread of nibbles available throughout the party time.

LAPC-usually  provide soft drinks. If John can get a sandwich girl then there will be little ham and cheese sarnies. If he cannot, then it is nothing or just crisps and little cakes. If I go to a lunch time party I usually take my own sandwich from Greggs. There a lot of regulars and there is usually some good craic in the bar area and large play area.

Regards,

davidgood

[scutty brown]

So a "sandwich girl" isn't one who offers dual penetration???

[Steely Dan]

Moving on the present day, pre Lockdown, then my experiences of hospitality and conviviality  with partying are as follows;-

While many question whether they are really parties (since all the fucking is 1-1 in bedrooms), from a food point of view, Le jeu escorts can't be beat.  Sparkling wine, full 3 course hot meal, bountiful supply of drinks and both men and women tend to be sociable.

I heard the last party before lock down was a bit poor since 2 of the regulars buggered off home and the replacements were not great.  I'm sure it will be sorted out when parties restart...assuming they can afford to open when this shitstorm passes.

[davidgood]

So a "sandwich girl" isn't one who offers dual penetration???

Sadly that is not one of the duties of a sandwich girl at LAPC.

Regards,

davidgood

[winkywanky]

Fluffer with a jar of mayonnaise and a large baguette?