Update:
My planned sojourn in Hornchurch at Xmas went tits up but I recently got down there and found myself at a loose end for a few hours so finally got to give Thai Serenity a whirl.
I should explain that I've never been to a massage place before and had no idea of the protocols or script. I looked at their website which lists various therapies and didn't really know which one I'd like. So in this green and confused state I thought I'd just bowl in the front door and see what happened.........
As I approached it struck me how busy and bustling Station Lane is so not much chance of sneaking in incognito. When I got very near, a white guy in his 40s emerged - gotta say that he looked "punterish" so I thought hmmmm, happy endings available then? Went in the front door and after a few secs a Thai lady popped her head round a door towards the back and asked me to take a seat on leather couch in the front reception. Plonked myself down and realised I was virtually sat in the front window on display - marvelous I thought as I tried to look completely insouciant and not furtive/seedy. Started thinking it must be a genuine therapuetic place then, no sexy time here.
Lady re-appeared a minute or two later and took me into a very small 8'x4' treatment room with proper massage table with hole for face and told me to strip to boxers and lie on table ready. She left, I complied and she came back a minute later. Nice and clean and warm. Relaxing plinky-plink soft music and aromatic oily smell.
At this point I expected her to run through options/prices but she just launched into what I'd call a Swedish massage mainly on my back shoulders. All very nice but how long??? I mentioned it was my first ever Thai massage and she said she'd go medium pressure. I then said 30 mins and she seemed a bit taken aback and said 30 mins £30, 1hr £45 with the inference I should have an hour. I asserted 30 mins was plenty for a first visit and she cracked on. After a few minutes the front door went. She didn't say anything but fucked off to deal with that customer (presume she was only one working). Cheeky cow I thought, leaving me here like this!? She back after 2/3 mins. I can't remember the precise conversation but upshot was she had mistaken me for a guy who'd prebooked a specific service/massage presumably for an hour and hence why she'd just launched into massaging me without asking what I wanted.
She was still massaging me whilst explaining the "double booking" so it was a bit awkward. I asked if continuing doing me was causing her a problem and she asked if I'd just do 15 mins. I said how much and she said £15 so I said yes on the basis that anything else would go down like a lead balloon. She continued for another 5ish minutes and then finished. I reckon I barely actually got 10 minutes taking into account time she disappeared midway through.
She left the room, I chucked my clobber back on an went out to find her sat at counter waiting for payment. I gave her £15 and left. As I left I clocked the other guy sat on coach in window whose appointment I'd hijacked..... Yep, very punter-ish again.
So, I'm none the wiser if you can get a tug here. The general vibe says "NO" but the guys I saw before and after did not look like innocent spiritual seekers of having their chakras realigned.
The brief massage I received was very good and certainly loosened me up so I don't begrudge the £15. I'll deffo give them a whirl again when next that way but will phone up to book as opposed to just bouncing in and confusing them.
The lady was called Suki. 40s and wearing none-erotic professional masseuse baggy long sleeve top and bottoms - she could have been anything from size 8 to size 18 underneath.
I realise this post is pretty shit and uninformative.... Hopefully I'll report back with something a bit more concrete or substantive at some future point! TBC......