Whose court is the ball in?

[Decadent Hobby]

Apologies if this question has been asked already elsewhere on the site. Please move/merge if this topic needs to be.

I recently confirmed a meet with someone I previously had a really good time with. All the comms before, during and after had been really positive. I’ve made contact with her each time she’s come back to London for a short tour. Each time I’ve made an enquiry, she has been enthusiastic about seeing me again, we’ve finalised a date&time.
However, each time she has had to cancel due to real life getting in the way. As stated before, her comms have always been good with the cancellations. She has been apologetic and contacted with enough notice. This has happened 2-3 since the first and only meet. The last time she cancelled, she promised me extra time the next time I book with her.

So, I confirmed an upcoming meet but, as of yet, no mention has been made of the extra time. Should I be the one to mention it? Or wait for her to bring it up?
I’m guessing it should be sorted at least a week or two before so she can sort her schedule out.

[jamiekinkxxx]

I'd just casually ask her.

TBH if she says no after all the fav'ing around I would then just walk on.

[Munter84]

Ideally you would have mentioned it at time of booking as she could be in the process of booking other punters around you.

I would say shoot off a friendly reminder as soon as you can, and in the unlikely scenario she goes back on her word, there's your prompt to take your business elsewhere.

[Fuzzyduck]

You won't be the only one she made that offer to and I doubt she would proactively offer it to you and all the others who had similar promises. It's in your court to raise it.

I'd say something along the lines of. "Hi. I'm looking forward to finally catching up with you again. I don't know if you remember but last time you had to cancel back in [insert month] you offered me some extra time on the next appointment. Is that still an option? ...]

Good luck.

[signy]

I agree with Fuzzy, but you could also try something along the lines of

"... would you confirm that the promised extra time is included as I also need to schedule work meetings for that day..."

Depends what sits well with you.

[LLPunting]

The fact you're mulling over will she (and how long) means this matters to you to a lesser or greater degree.  You've only seen her once so this isn't a regular that you're vested in, where misunderstandings or disappointments may carry greater weight.
If you ask her how much extra time and she declines what will you think or do?
If she offers 10 minutes, will that disappoint you? 20 mins? 30 mins? 1 hour?
If you are disappointed then will you cancel the booking?  Feel miffed going into the booking?  Be put off during the booking?

So if you want to repeat her regardless, without souring prospects, just go see her and enjoy the session, anything beyond what you pay for is private and a bonus.  She cancelled with good notice previously, that's not really something to keep score about.  Cancelling whilst you're well into your journey or on arrival is a different matter.
If you really have to ask her then ask her how long you should feed the parking meter for.
Of course she may feel pressurised or upset that you felt you needed to ask how long because this seems to matter to you.

Personally I wouldn't ask and only decide how much

[Dogfather]

The "extra time next time" is just pure marketing. She'd rather you forgot about it.

If you are going to try and book her again make sure you have a Plan B & C ready to go. If she gets a better offer than your confirmed booking (including free time) then you will get bumped again.

[scutty brown]

Move on
Sounds like she doesn't want to see you again but doesn't want to tell you

You had a good time with her, maybe she had a different experience

Plenty of other girls available, cut your losses. Chasing this one is wasting your time

[LLPunting]

Apols for earlier miss-edit, should've ended "Personally I wouldn't ask."

+1 to Dogfather and Scutty said.  These considerations should be accounted for, not just OP's rose-tinted impression of the SP's behaviour and interactions with him.

[Stevelondon]

2-3 times !!!!!

I’d take the hint.

[petermisc]

The ball is in the OP's court to leave a review (and particularly if she has now done it 3 times!) so others know what to expect.

As regards the extra time, the OP needs to be asking himself what is more important to him: seeing the girl again, or getting his extra time?

If he really wants to see her again, then demanding the extra time could well jeopardise that.  No matter how tactful and polite you make the message, it may still be taken the wrong way.  It is a bit like lending a friend money: reminding them to pay it back will usually spell the end of the friendship.

I would just go ahead with the meet as booked, and see when she throws you out.  If she doesn't give you extra time, then you will know she can't be trusted to keep her promises.  You could at that point remind her that she had promised you extra time, and see her reaction.  Most likely it will be not to take another booking from you.

[Stevelondon]

The ball is in the OP's court to leave a review (and particularly if she has now done it 3 times!) so others know what to expect.

As regards the extra time, the OP needs to be asking himself what is more important to him: seeing the girl again, or getting his extra time?

If he really wants to see her again, then demanding the extra time could well jeopardise that.  No matter how tactful and polite you make the message, it may still be taken the wrong way.  It is a bit like lending a friend money: reminding them to pay it back will usually spell the end of the friendship.

I would just go ahead with the meet as booked, and see when she throws you out.  If she doesn't give you extra time, then you will know she can't be trusted to keep her promises.  You could at that point remind her that she had promised you extra time, and see her reaction.  Most likely it will be not to take another booking from you.

Doesn’t look as if she is taking bookings from him anyway. Or she is but then not... If you get my drift.

As for lending money to friends. Friends don’t ask.