Avoiding getting to know WG (emotional baggage)

[peter_bungee]

I dont punt much but just thinking over the years have had a few regs who you inevitably chat to inbetween punts and get to know a bit about them.  Plus being interested in people they confided.   However there have been least 3 instances where girls have opened up and they all have had abusive upbringing/bad luck/orphans etc you name it.  Plus the abuse they get from the job and how much they hate it (yes they can get basic work but its hard to survive when they dont have qualifications or a cv or family support) and cant get out.

Leads me to feel sorry for them and then cant see them as feel like im adding to their woes

Now any punts are 30min and strictly chit chat nothing deep, with few return visits

Think there needs to be better support/charity for the ones who are suffering and leave the ones who can bare it and “enjoy” it working

Any similar ways people cope with the guilt or just keep it professional?

[misterali]

Sorry but to be frankly honest how many women choose not to take up this profession and hold down a regular job?

As a matter of fact how many MEN have no option but to work a regular job because women are less likely to pay for sex regularly enough?

Being a sex worker, in my opinion, is a choice. There is a certain standard of life they wish to live. Not the minimum wage life or the "on the dole" life. Unless they are trafficked or pimped they can always quit and leave. So when they tell me their sob stories I stare vacantly and zone out.

[OakTree]

Much as I do sympathise the plight of many, I can’t help but feel sorry for my self. The only way I can get a fuck is to pay for it.

[rickyponting]

I see a regular lady who is Thai,I've been seeing her for many years,so I think I know her fairly well.
She speaks very good English,and I've told her she could easily get a normal job,she has had normal jobs,but I think she is just inherently lazy.
I've told her time and again that the older she gets,the less punters she will attract,but it just doesn't sink in.
As said above,it's a lifestyle choice for some,they probably only need to fuck three or four men a week and that's good money,way more than working all week in Tescos or something .

[NigelF]

I dont punt much but just thinking over the years have had a few regs who you inevitably chat to inbetween punts and get to know a bit about them.  Plus being interested in people they confided.   However there have been least 3 instances where girls have opened up and they all have had abusive upbringing/bad luck/orphans etc you name it.  Plus the abuse they get from the job and how much they hate it (yes they can get basic work but its hard to survive when they dont have qualifications or a cv or family support) and cant get out.

Leads me to feel sorry for them and then cant see them as feel like im adding to their woes

Now any punts are 30min and strictly chit chat nothing deep, with few return visits

Think there needs to be better support/charity for the ones who are suffering and leave the ones who can bare it and “enjoy” it working

Any similar ways people cope with the guilt or just keep it professional?

Sounds like some of them a spinning you a yarn - particularly about all the "abuse" they get while being a WG and to a lesser extent how much they hate it - I'm sure they'd hate not only minimum wage jobs but the vast majority of averagely paying jobs too!

The WGs I speak to often paint a broadly good picture, with any "abuse" being extremely rare and more read/heard about from others than actually experienced themselves.

Regardless, I don't at all see myself as "adding to their woes" considering I pay them high amounts of cash to do a job that isn't exactly too taxing (in more ways than one  ) - especially in respect to me because I'm always friendly and polite and also rather vanilla and easily pleased (but that doesn't make me special as the vast majority of punters are very similar). I'm not saying it's easy to do a good job though but it is fairly easy to at least do an acceptable one (which is basically just being fairly honest on their profile). Escorting often provides phenomenal flexibility in terms of working hours too - they'd be very hard pressed to find that in any kind of other job.

I don't doubt that many have very unfortunate backgrounds though. However loads of people have such background and don't have the opportunity to make the kind of money that escorts do (or work such good hours allowing them to look after their kids etc). I do also agree about the lack of mental health support (particularly from the NHS - but that's a general issue) and possibly the need for specialised help from charities - not that I'd personally donate because, as I say, I think I pay enough and I don't give them a hard time/add to their issues. There are other charities I choose to donate to instead.

[peter purves]

I dont punt much but just thinking over the years have had a few regs who you inevitably chat to inbetween punts and get to know a bit about them.  Plus being interested in people they confided.   However there have been least 3 instances where girls have opened up and they all have had abusive upbringing/bad luck/orphans etc you name it.  Plus the abuse they get from the job and how much they hate it (yes they can get basic work but its hard to survive when they dont have qualifications or a cv or family support) and cant get out.

Leads me to feel sorry for them and then cant see them as feel like im adding to their woes

Now any punts are 30min and strictly chit chat nothing deep, with few return visits

Think there needs to be better support/charity for the ones who are suffering and leave the ones who can bare it and “enjoy” it working

Any similar ways people cope with the guilt or just keep it professional?

Perhaps you got to know them too well.

Perhaps they were also glad to see you and paradoxically you may have helped to alleviate the stress as opposed to be a burden and adding further
to their woes. 

[vw]

I dont punt much but just thinking over the years have had a few regs who you inevitably chat to inbetween punts and get to know a bit about them.  Plus being interested in people they confided.   However there have been least 3 instances where girls have opened up and they all have had abusive upbringing/bad luck/orphans etc you name it.  Plus the abuse they get from the job and how much they hate it (yes they can get basic work but its hard to survive when they dont have qualifications or a cv or family support) and cant get out.

Leads me to feel sorry for them and then cant see them as feel like im adding to their woes

Now any punts are 30min and strictly chit chat nothing deep, with few return visits

Think there needs to be better support/charity for the ones who are suffering and leave the ones who can bare it and “enjoy” it working

Any similar ways people cope with the guilt or just keep it professional?

I don't feel guilt, maybe would if they were coerced.

Are you looking for something more?

Or maybe you have a hero complex and have the pathological need to save, these may realise and play that. 

[Flunt]

Much as I do sympathise the plight of many, I can’t help but feel sorry for my self. The only way I can get a fuck is to pay for it.

You, me and countless others.

To the op: consider a pro$$ies choices. Does she have to crank up the conveyor belt and fuck 10 blokes a day? She could work an hour every other day and make more than someone on minimum wage. If she's that desperate and averse to fucking, she could stack shelves in a supermarket, she could get an education and career, she could settle down and try for a traditional relationship?

Pro$$ies are driven by greed, do they care about your emotional baggage? What if your income falls and you can't afford her fees? Which are you more likely to hear? "Of course I'll give you a cheap deal while you're hard up!" or the sound of your phone call ending abruptly?

[Malvolio]

No guilt on my part when I punt - if they did have a shit childhood that applies to hundreds of thousands of people in this country and in all cases wasn't my fault.

Sounds to me as if they're trying it on to get more cash out of you. 

[Plan R]

Or maybe you have a hero complex and have the pathological need to save, these may realise and play that.

Ding !  +1 

Not taking the piss OP. This deep insight from VW rings true.
There's tons online about being Co-dependent (recognising others needs way more than your own).
Co-dependents often indulge in rescue fantasies.
Co-dependents are also easy marks for the manipulative people of this world..
 

[Marmalade]

Would you feel sorry for her if she was a starving African with three kids and flies on their faces to feed?

Not really.

If she really needs the money, simple, she could reduce her prices and get regulars to visit more often. Unless she feels raising them by using emotional blackmail for ‘gifts’ is more efficient ...


Let’s face it, ‘nice’ as some whores might be, a decent fuck, decent service, some GFE chat, most of them are doing it cos they’ve been born with an unusually small piece of Gregg-mush between the ears, and they lack the basic capacity to make anything else of their life.

It’s like moron teenagers in Africa — build them a school and one of them will burn it down the next day and appear sobbing on a Bono advert the day after that. You cannot raise others up. Isolated instances of life-changing acts are exceedingly rare, especially if you are interacting on the customer-pro$$ie fantasy level.

[misterali]

Would you feel sorry for her if she was a starving African with three kids and flies on their faces to feed?

Not really.

If she really needs the money, simple, she could reduce her prices and get regulars to visit more often. Unless she feels raising them by using emotional blackmail for ‘gifts’ is more efficient ...


Let’s face it, ‘nice’ as some whores might be, a decent fuck, decent service, some GFE chat, most of them are doing it cos they’ve been born with an unusually small piece of Gregg-mush between the ears, and they lack the basic capacity to make anything else of their life.

It’s like moron teenagers in Africa — build them a school and one of them will burn it down the next day and appear sobbing on a Bono advert the day after that. You cannot raise others up. Isolated instances of life-changing acts are exceedingly rare, especially if you are interacting on the customer-pro$$ie fantasy level.

I am dying of laughter here! If that is true that is one hell of a story.

I met a WG with a masters degree once. Telling me about she's so educated and how it's hard to get a good paying job. Moaning about guys not respecting her and see her as a prossie.

I just told her when do you think you'll start sucking my cock

[JonasG]

I pretend to listen to some of their stories just to be nice but the minute I'm out of the door I've soon forgotten.

It's just business, don't let it bother you honestly.

[Marmalade]

I am dying of laughter here! If that is true that is one hell of a story.

Yes it’s true. I used to have an associate whose job was opening new factories in Africa. One of the many frustrations he noticed and often commented on.

[dave_59]

Most of the WG I've met do it by choice, well at least appear to.

I've only met one where I thought otherwise and a few who have utter contempt for the punter and are blatantly obvuios in the 'get on with it and fuck off' approach.

I however rarely explore conversations beyond information they already advertise on sites, its an exchange of services for cash.

As has been said, a good looking girl who enjoys sex can earn good money (tax and NI free).
Average £200 a day is around is £73K per year which would be around £125K to cover tax and NI.

You'll never get that at ASDA.

[Red81]

And here was me thinking April was the month of "save a hoe".

Not all of us have been abused. not all of us have no grey matter. I'm a sex addict that got sick of the rat race and found my calling   

[peter_bungee]

True you just have to seperate yourself from it and realise people are responsible for their own decisions, it is just tough when you can see someone clearly needs psychological help and has had a rough time.  The ones i saw wouldnt last in a 9-5 not due to laziness but being unhinged and probably end up arguing with customers over spilt milk.

[catweazle]

And here was me thinking April was the month of "save a hoe".

Not all of us have been abused. not all of us have no grey matter. I'm a sex addict that got sick of the rat race and found my calling   

Should you not have registered as a Service Provider?

[vw]

True you just have to seperate yourself from it and realise people are responsible for their own decisions, it is just tough when you can see someone clearly needs psychological help and has had a rough time.  The ones i saw wouldnt last in a 9-5 not due to laziness but being unhinged and probably end up arguing with customers over spilt milk.

More you post the  more i think it is you that needs the help with your hero complex, no offence.   

[misterali]

True you just have to seperate yourself from it and realise people are responsible for their own decisions, it is just tough when you can see someone clearly needs psychological help and has had a rough time.  The ones i saw wouldnt last in a 9-5 not due to laziness but being unhinged and probably end up arguing with customers over spilt milk.

Lots of unhinged people have jobs that may not require them to deal with the public. Plenty of men are unhinged and work 9-5 or just other jobs that they can hold down.

It's definitely not them...it's you. You can update your opinion or just address your, I hate to say it, hero complex.

[Red81]

Should you not have registered as a Service Provider?

I did .....I thought I did 

[vw]

I did .....I thought I did 

admin has changed it to show now. 

[Red81]

True you just have to seperate yourself from it and realise people are responsible for their own decisions, it is just tough when you can see someone clearly needs psychological help and has had a rough time.  The ones i saw wouldnt last in a 9-5 not due to laziness but being unhinged and probably end up arguing with customers over spilt milk.

I do get that. One of my regulars saw a girl last week who said she needed food at the beginning of the meet.....I said you should have took her to the police station! But we definitely not all victims.

[vw]

I do get that. One of my regulars saw a girl last week who said she needed food at the beginning of the meet.....I said you should have took her to the police station! But we definitely not all victims.

If they criminalise punting that will never be an option.

Are you aware of admins other site uke?

External Link/Members Only

[Red81]

If they criminalise punting that will never be an option.

Are you aware of admins other site uke?

External Link/Members Only

Yes found it yesterday cos of this place and signed up. Was a bit scared of this site but in all honesty learnt so much reading the posts and as I'm fairly new was really useful.

[Red81]

If they criminalise punting that will never be an option.

Are you aware of admins other site uke?

External Link/Members Only

Yes found it yesterday cos of this place and signed up. Was a bit scared of this site but in all honesty learnt so much reading the posts and as I'm fairly new was really useful.

[Plan R]

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Marmalade]

Yes found it yesterday cos of this place and signed up. Was a bit scared of this site but in all honesty learnt so much reading the posts and as I'm fairly new was really useful.

Welcome. But you need to very careful. Especially not to advertise by maintaining ‘a token presence.’ Women chat for a bonding experience but prossies who do that here will likely come unstuck. To survive as an SP posting, the Golden Rule is only post information as if in the punter’s shoes, that can help the punter, such as things about the business he’s not privy too (stuff about AW prossie options that it’s useful for the punter to know for instance). And not about you.

But remember that we have a lot of experience of paying women for sex. Being an SP, you have zero. So punters have heard most things that SPs come out with already. It’s not a chat site for prossies, or for prossies to chat to punters, and the chances of you biting off more than you can chew and regretting it are exceedingly high.

I do think prossies can learn something from reading UKP — same as punters can occasionally learn something from reading SAAFE — but the two things are pretty separate. If you give in to the temptation to respond when someone rattled your cage, as they will, you’ll be fucked. It’s not misogynist, just the way it is. Like a men’s locker room or an all male drinking den. We are loving and polite to SPs during the time we pay for, and we’re pleased they’re there. But — and I mean it in the nicest way — don’t take locker room language to heart, don’t assume we’re your mates and don’t throw hissy fits. If in doubt, say nowt.

We don’t encourage SPs as active members, but they’re allowed. So good luck. 

[Punterperson1971]

I see  wg regular but it’s only for a quick fuck if I’m passing through and she’s available,I’m actually seeing her today after work but its because I feel horny and I want some sex nothing else.

[tony2311]

Would you feel sorry for her if she was a starving African with three kids and flies on their faces to feed?

Not really.

If she really needs the money, simple, she could reduce her prices and get regulars to visit more often. Unless she feels raising them by using emotional blackmail for ‘gifts’ is more efficient ...


Let’s face it, ‘nice’ as some whores might be, a decent fuck, decent service, some GFE chat, most of them are doing it cos they’ve been born with an unusually small piece of Gregg-mush between the ears, and they lack the basic capacity to make anything else of their life.

It’s like moron teenagers in Africa — build them a school and one of them will burn it down the next day and appear sobbing on a Bono advert the day after that. You cannot raise others up. Isolated instances of life-changing acts are exceedingly rare, especially if you are interacting on the customer-pro$$ie fantasy level.

i always think instead of giving free money, use the charity money to build factorys and make those people work for a living

[Red81]

don’t assume we’re your mates and don’t throw hissy fits. If in doubt, say nowt.

We don’t encourage SPs as active members, but they’re allowed. So good luck. 

No chance of a pint then.........don't worry. I get it. Thanks for the advice. I had a very active member warn me so I will just observe. You do get a good insight though so appreciate that.........."runs off to SAAFE"

[Ali Katt]

I dont punt much but just thinking over the years have had a few regs who you inevitably chat to inbetween punts and get to know a bit about them.  Plus being interested in people they confided.   However there have been least 3 instances where girls have opened up and they all have had abusive upbringing/bad luck/orphans etc you name it.  Plus the abuse they get from the job and how much they hate it (yes they can get basic work but its hard to survive when they dont have qualifications or a cv or family support) and cant get out.

Leads me to feel sorry for them and then cant see them as feel like im adding to their woes

Now any punts are 30min and strictly chit chat nothing deep, with few return visits

Think there needs to be better support/charity for the ones who are suffering and leave the ones who can bare it and “enjoy” it working

Any similar ways people cope with the guilt or just keep it professional?

Are you there for a fuck or to be their therapist? Not meaning to be blunt, I am if the conversation turns depressing best to change the subject - how would the WG feel if you or I or anyone else moaned about their exes, their despondent children or how they were rejected by girls when they were 13 - depressing shit.

[Ali Katt]

No chance of a pint then.........don't worry. I get it. Thanks for the advice. I had a very active member warn me so I will just observe. You do get a good insight though so appreciate that.........."runs off to SAAFE"

A pint of what? I'm more of a tablespoon man.

[Marmalade]

No chance of a pint then.........don't worry. I get it. Thanks for the advice. I had a very active member warn me so I will just observe. You do get a good insight though so appreciate that.........."runs off to SAAFE"

Oh you can always buy me a pint!  (We rarely refuse pints in Scotland.)    Just as long as you don’t tell me you’re an SP or that you’ve meet me on here! But then you wouldn’t know it’s me either would you? Just some man you met in a pub who seemed interesting and fun to talk to. Nothing like Marmalade. So as this is probably the last and closest we’ll speak to each other, not being one to encourage chitchat with prossies, I’ll just say good luck and enjoy your life. Ciao.

[Red81]

Oh you can always buy me a pint!  (We rarely refuse pints in Scotland.)    Just as long as you don’t tell me you’re an SP or that you’ve meet me on here! But then you wouldn’t know it’s me either would you? Just some man you met in a pub who seemed interesting and fun to talk to. Nothing like Marmalade. So as this is probably the last and closest we’ll speak to each other, not being one to encourage chitchat with prossies, I’ll just say good luck and enjoy your life. Ciao.

Oh you big Scottish meany, I hoped we'd be pals........Good day Sir xxx

[Red81]

Hidden Image/Members Only

Can I steal this........awesome!

[Marmalade]

Oh you big Scottish meany, I hoped we'd be pals........Good day Sir xxx

You might be my 'virtual pal' on here if and when (or in the unlikely event that) you make meaningful, useful-to-punters contributions. Petal.

You don't seem to have picked up on what I said about this not being a place for prossie-chatting. If a punter with solid contributions and reviews posts some shite that's funny, fair enough. If it you just posting MeToo posts then you're going along the road of touting.

[Red81]

You might be my 'virtual pal' on here if and when (or in the unlikely event that) you make meaningful, useful-to-punters contributions. Petal.

You don't seem to have picked up on what I said about this not being a place for prossie-chatting. If a punter with solid contributions and reviews posts some shite that's funny, fair enough. If it you just posting MeToo posts then you're going along the road of touting.

Bloomin Eck......I best shut up I think........you making me sweat 

[JackJones]

It's tricky. I like spending time with my regulars. With one of them, I contribute wine, and she brings a spliff. We chill, chat, smoke, eat, drink, fuck. The meetings end up lasting for 2-3 hours. I pay for the hour, which I really appreciate. Inevitably, I get to know aspects of her real life and she does mine. We might chat every now and then between meets but nothing major. I don't know about her background but I know what she aspires to now and what she's all about now. Pretty much the same with my other regular, who is an incredible fuck and is quite open about what she uses the money for and her background. It's not one of severe poverty / disadvantage etc. I feel from these two that being a WG is, as has been said by others, a lifestyle choice. They charge high rates for what they actually do. I'm interested in them as people but avoid the emotional baggage by maintaining more than 2 regulars at a time and not seeing them too often, as well as seeing civvie girls on the side.

[Plan R]

Can I steal this........awesome!

Go for it.. I think I've spent too much time on 4chan over the years   

[webpunter]

You feel guilty
So then curtail their income £ stream
If you cared that much you'd be back for 2nds., 3rds & 4ths keeping them in gainful employment 

Leads me to feel sorry for them and then cant see them as feel like im adding to their woes
Now any punts are 30min and strictly chit chat nothing deep, with few return visits

FFS - i think the best thing for the OP would be to email Admin & request a temporary ban for himself & re-evaluate his life & punting

What a bell end you are 

Edit:  "strictly chit chat nothing deep" - the burds will be thinking TFFT !

[dubs]

Can I steal this........awesome!

You should fix the spelling on it first.

[Plan R]

  Quite right - knocks thousands off the value!
External Link/Members Only

[Daffodil]

Sounds like the OP just described 99.9% of prossies. Probably best to not punt if you’re going to feel guilty about that sort of sob story.

[beanfarmer05]

I have a good job that pays me enough to live comfortably and also have money to spend on social activities includingpunting. And yet I earn nowhere near 150/200/250 an hour, so no my sympathy levels for sob stories are low tbf.

If, and it's a big if, the girl is switched on and has a level head, a few years of doing this work would set them up for life, but too many waste everything they earn on bags, shoes, clothes, holidays and sponging boyfriends etc.

[houseboot]

I did .....I thought I did 

"not all of us have no grey matter"

 

[Chorley]

Unless they're  trafficked, in which case I have nothing but sympathy for their predicament, it is a lifestyle choice and  a lucrative one at that. Ultimately it's a business transaction in the form of paid sex. Nothing more, nothing less 

[charming_red]

I feel sorry for many girls because they cannot do this forever and eventually they have to settle down in life and get a real job.  That itself, getting up early, communting, dealing with people, solving problems, going home tired, will be a huge rude awakening for them. And they may not have the cognitive skills or motivation to keep up. At that point in life they will have a long hard look into the mirror. Unless of course they find a decent, well off boyfriend willing to support them.

[NotThePrimeMinister]

OP, have you considered it may not be true? It is plausible, but how do you know it is definitely true? The possibility that she may just be playing on your hero feelings does exist.

The neoliberal myth that if you're good and smart you can achieve anything in life is bullshit - an average intelligent rich kid will always have more chances than an off-the-chart intelligent kid from a poor, messed up family. So I don't agree that all escorts are dumb and if they were smarter they'd have a better job. But, as others have said, if a girl is British and not trafficked, there is an element of greed: lots of young women grow up in underprivileged backgrounds but not all enter this line of work.

Have you seen the 'Escorts' documentary on Netflix? It's about two white, middle-class British girls who chose this job because they couldn't have made the same money anywhere else.

If anything, I wonder what they end up doing when they are too old to attract enough punters. I remember one who was studying to become a qualified accountant (she had accounting books all over her flat, if it was an act it was a good one) and another who said she was retiring because she had been accepted at university for a vocational subject (no clue if true or bs). I wouldn't be surprised if most ended up in some kind of minimum wage job with very little savings left from their escorting days.

[MilleMiglia]

My guess is that many will marry a rich, steady, dependable type, giving him the minimum amount of vanilla sex needed to keep him placated, and then hit him with a divorce (or possibly a fast moving car if they're an EE) to land a nice little tax free nest egg.