Seeking Advice: Encouraging Mutual Initiation

[Kj3WhuuZA7wl97a38E]

Hi everyone,

I'm seeking some advice regarding intimacy with SP's because I'm a bit of shy guy. I've noticed that during intimate moments the SP tend to wait for me to make the first move or to tell them what to do. This dynamic sometimes makes me feel pressured and awkward, as I would love for them to take more initiative naturally. I'm generally very clear before booking what I'm looking for and what I like.

I find it difficult to always be the one initiating and directing things, and it's hard to communicate my desires without feeling uncomfortable or like I'm pressuring them. I'm looking for ways to encourage more mutual initiation and spontaneity in intimate moments.

How do you encourage a SP to take more initiative during intimacy? Any tips on how to have this conversation without making it awkward or uncomfortable?

Thanks in advance for your support.

[Doc Holliday]

I find your experience unusual in that most SP's, especially if asked to take the lead, are happy to do so? It can often be more of a problem the other way around?

[Kj3WhuuZA7wl97a38E]

Thanks for your input. I appreciate your perspective. I understand that for many, this situation might seem unusual. However, in my case, with more than one SP, they hesitant to take the lead, even when I express a desire for them to do so.

I'm wondering if there might be something I'm doing or saying, either during or beforehand, that's contributing to this dynamic. I'm generally a shy guy. I want to reflect on this and make any necessary changes to improve, to get more intimacy during sessions.

[Southernbloke]

I usually find that most SPs are quite unshockable as long as when you ask you do so politely and don’t ask for services that are not on their likes list, in other words don’t be a boundary pusher.
My best advice is see well reviewed SPs who are well experienced in knowing how to handle specific requests.
I hope you find what you are looking for

[Doc Holliday]

I'm wondering if there might be something I'm doing or saying, either during or beforehand, that's contributing to this dynamic. I'm generally a shy guy. I want to reflect on this and make any necessary changes to improve, to get more intimacy during sessions.

Yes I suspect there may be something else in the dynamic that is contributing to this. Not sure what though? Are you exceptionally shy? Even if an SP takes the lead they will still normally be expecting some input/feedback from you?

[RandomGuy99]

One of the first SPs I saw told me to just relax and go with the flo, so that's what I do. I think you might be overthinking it.  Do what you enjoy as long as the SP is ok with it. SPs will let you know if you're doing something they don't like.

I am shy, but I probably show what I like.  Maybe vocalise things you like a bit more, so the SPs know if they're doing things right. If you're totally quiet, then it's hard for the SP to know if they're doing a good or bad job.

[fatboy]

May I ask if you see the same SP regularly or visit a different ones each time.
It's my experience that if you see the same SP then intimacy becomes more natural
the more you see them.
That might be the way to go.
If you see different girls each time it can be difficult making a connection.
Of course seeing the same SP regularly might become boring so it's good to have two regulars.
Cheers, FB.

[Kj3WhuuZA7wl97a38E]

I generally ensure clarity beforehand regarding my desires for our sessions, and I'm selective about the companions I engage with, usually opting for well-reviewed individuals. Respecting boundaries is paramount to me, and I'm mindful not to overstep any limits. However, despite these precautions, I find myself grappling with feelings of inadequacy at times, especially when in the presence of such beautiful and talented individuals. This self-doubt often translates into a shy or hesitant demeanor, hindering my ability to fully immerse myself in the experience.

I'm eager to learn how others manage to overcome these mental barriers and simply let go, allowing themselves to be present and enjoy the moment without the weight of self-criticism. How do you quiet the voice of doubt and surrender to the flow of the encounter? Any tips or techniques for cultivating confidence and embracing the experience authentically would be immensely appreciated.

[Kj3WhuuZA7wl97a38E]

May I ask if you see the same SP regularly or visit a different ones each time.
It's my experience that if you see the same SP then intimacy becomes more natural
the more you see them.
That might be the way to go.
If you see different girls each time it can be difficult making a connection.
Of course seeing the same SP regularly might become boring so it's good to have two regulars.
Cheers, FB.

Next week, I'll be seeing an SP whom I've met several times before. While she's wonderful and always fulfills my requests during our sessions, I've noticed a lack of initiation from her side. Despite bringing up this concern previously, our sessions have primarily been led by me.

I do want to emphasise that I know she enjoys our time together. In fact, she even invited me to join her at an event as a friend, which I declined to maintain boundaries. However, I still desire a more balanced dynamic during our sessions.

While I've brought this up with her before, I want to address it again in a way that doesn't disrupt the positive atmosphere we've cultivated.

[RandomGuy99]

I think you're over analysing it and maybe these discussions with the SPs are making them feel a bit of pressure. I would stop the discussions, relax and accept it's paid sex and it's not the same as real intimate sex with a civvie. It's transactional. The SP is putting on a bit of an act for a period of time. Relax and enjoy yourself. Tell the SP "that's good" or "more like that" or "lower", "sloppier" or "can we do position x" and she'll probably do her best to deliver what you enjoy.

Most SPs want you to go away with a smile on your face and to return. You need to help them help you by vocalising your desires and thoughts during the booking without "can we stop for a quick discussion on you initiating things?". That kills the moment and makes the SP think they're doing it wrong.

[Jonestown]

OP, how does this shyness impact your non-punting life, say normal social interaction or job interviews ?

I have to ask, when you registered for this site did you mix up the entry of your intended ID and a machine generated password, or did you intend your ID should be that character salad ?

[Kj3WhuuZA7wl97a38E]

I think you're over analysing it and maybe these discussions with the SPs are making them feel a bit of pressure. I would stop the discussions, relax and accept it's paid sex and it's not the same as real intimate sex with a civvie. It's transactional. The SP is putting on a bit of an act for a period of time. Relax and enjoy yourself. Tell the SP "that's good" or "more like that" or "lower", "sloppier" or "can we do position x" and she'll probably do her best to deliver what you enjoy.

Most SPs want you to go away with a smile on your face and to return. You need to help them help you by vocalising your desires and thoughts during the booking without "can we stop for a quick discussion on you initiating things?". That kills the moment and makes the SP think they're doing it wrong.

Thank you very much for taking the time to share your perspective and advice. I truly appreciate your input and will definitely take it onboard.

[Kj3WhuuZA7wl97a38E]

OP, how does this shyness impact your non-punting life, say normal social interaction or job interviews ?

I have to ask, when you registered for this site did you mix up the entry of your intended ID and a machine generated password, or did you intend your ID should be that character salad ?

In my normal life and at work, I generally feel comfortable and confident. However, I've noticed that I tend to feel shy around women in more personal contexts. This is something I've been working on, and I initially turned to punting as a way to help overcome this shyness.

Ironically, I've found that while punting has provided some temporary relief, it hasn't necessarily improved my overall confidence around women. In fact, it may have exacerbated my shyness in some ways!

To clarify, it's not a password mix-up; rather, I couldn't think of anything particularly clever or meaningful, so I ended up randomly generating a username. Admittedly, I didn't put a lot of importance on it at the time of registration.

[RandomGuy99]

In my normal life and at work, I generally feel comfortable and confident. However, I've noticed that I tend to feel shy around women in more personal contexts. This is something I've been working on, and I initially turned to punting as a way to help overcome this shyness.

Ironically, I've found that while punting has provided some temporary relief, it hasn't necessarily improved my overall confidence around women. In fact, it may have exacerbated my shyness in some ways!

To clarify, it's not a password mix-up; rather, I couldn't think of anything particularly clever or meaningful, so I ended up randomly generating a username. Admittedly, I didn't put a lot of importance on it at the time of registration.

I am pretty shy myself and punting has definitely helped it. I can still be quiet, but vocalising your wants definitely helps.  If you're going off track the SP will soon correct you and get you back on track.

[Billy no mates]

I would say this

“I like to roleplay, someone who is very shy and awkward and doesn’t feel comfortable or confident enough to request certain things. With this in mind, can you take and retain control of the meeting, I would want the session to include (type all the things you want here), thanks very much, hope to see you soon”

[Kj3WhuuZA7wl97a38E]

I would say this

“I like to roleplay, someone who is very shy and awkward and doesn’t feel comfortable or confident enough to request certain things. With this in mind, can you take and retain control of the meeting, I would want the session to include (type all the things you want here), thanks very much, hope to see you soon”

I appreciate your suggestion and creativity in addressing the situation.

While roleplaying could be effective in the short term, I'm concern that it might feel somewhat manipulative rather than directly addressing the underlying issue.

That said, I'm definitely open to experimenting "for science reasons" (and maybe a bit of fun!), I might try this next week and report back how it went.

[RandomGuy99]

I appreciate your suggestion and creativity in addressing the situation.

While roleplaying could be effective in the short term, I'm concern that it might feel somewhat manipulative rather than directly addressing the underlying issue.

That said, I'm definitely open to experimenting "for science reasons" (and maybe a bit of fun!), I might try this next week and report back how it went.

I think the underlying issue is you're expecting civvie sex in a paid sex booking.

You might want to read reviews on here or ask for recommendations of SPs that take the lead or are more full on from the start. It really depends what you're looking for though.

[chatbite]

I agree that you seem to be expecting a civvy experience and that's so hard for an SP to replicate authentically in a finite amount of time. The types of punts you seem to have from your reviews certainly paint that picture.

I find that language barrier can impact how forward the girl is in taking the lead as she might not know or be able to read what you like. Age is sometimes a factor too, as is culture (for example a lot of the Thai women I've seen have been very submissive).

My advice would be to select your next punt with the above in mind and look at her reviews on here too. Also communicate with the SP in advance that you'd like her to initiate because you're shy and have a hard time taking the lead. I doubt very much you'll be the first of that kind so you'll most likely get a positive response.

[daviemac]

I'm seeking some advice regarding intimacy with SP's because I'm a bit of shy guy. I've noticed that during intimate moments the SP tend to wait for me to make the first move or to tell them what to do. This dynamic sometimes makes me feel pressured and awkward, as I would love for them to take more initiative naturally. I'm generally very clear before booking what I'm looking for and what I like.

Firstly I would point out that it isn't a date, it's paid for sex, however your reviews don't reflect what you are saying here, there's no mention of the issues you mention?   

Alba initiated a massage session and her touch proved to be excellent and soothing. The evening progressed naturally into more intimate moments, highlighted by frequent and affectionate kissing which was deep and sloppy.

Upon arrival, the session took an interesting turn when Puma playfully pinned me against the wall before I even had my second shoe off.

Engaging Personality: Brook's humor and eagerness to please contributed to a lively and enjoyable atmosphere.
Physical Connection: The evening was filled with moments of genuine intimacy, highlighted by her excellent touch and kissing abilities.

[akauya]

How do you encourage a SP to take more initiative during intimacy? Any tips on how to have this conversation without making it awkward or uncomfortable?

I could be wrong but it sounds to me like you would be better off booking a Dom that provides sexual services as well. You already reviewed one, maybe you should stick to Doms more that regulars WGs?

[yesbby]

Hi everyone,

I'm seeking some advice regarding intimacy with SP's because I'm a bit of shy guy. I've noticed that during intimate moments the SP tend to wait for me to make the first move or to tell them what to do. This dynamic sometimes makes me feel pressured and awkward, as I would love for them to take more initiative naturally. I'm generally very clear before booking what I'm looking for and what I like.

I find it difficult to always be the one initiating and directing things, and it's hard to communicate my desires without feeling uncomfortable or like I'm pressuring them. I'm looking for ways to encourage more mutual initiation and spontaneity in intimate moments.

How do you encourage a SP to take more initiative during intimacy? Any tips on how to have this conversation without making it awkward or uncomfortable?

Thanks in advance for your support.

In these relationships, your power comes from the fee, not your magnetic alpha male pulling power. "Shall we move to the bedroom" is a polite question that is understood too be a part of the equation as a result of the cash burning a hole in your pocket. If she says no, which has only happened once to me, the fee can be withheld and no-one has lost anything. You can try again elsewhere

The more usual situation for me is wishing I didn't have to escalate to sex and walking instead, which I find hard to do for fear of insulting the SP

[daviemac]

I could be wrong but it sounds to me like you would be better off booking a Dom that provides sexual services as well. You already reviewed one, maybe you should stick to Doms more that regulars WGs?

Is the SP pinning him up against the wall before he's even got undressed not her taking the lead.   

There's no correlation between his reviews and this thread.

[akauya]

Is the SP pinning him up against the wall before he's even got undressed not her taking the lead.   

There's no correlation between his reviews and this thread.

I got that Davie. Sounds the OP is a bit confused or still trying to work out what he likes. Maybe he can explain more.

[RandomGuy99]

He seems to like long bookings wants the intimacy. Hard to achieve with someone you've not seen before.  I think people normally do shorter 1 hr bookings to try out different SPs and by doing thst they may identify an SP or two that does provide that intimacy.  Once you've found these good intimacy providers then you can book them for a longer booking knowing that they'll deliver. Perhaps that will result in less disappointment?

[Doc Holliday]

There's no correlation between his reviews and this thread.

Having just read the reviews I am inclined to agree with Davie.   

[Atrueyorkie]

I think the underlying issue is you're expecting civvie sex in a paid sex booking.

You might want to read reviews on here or ask for recommendations of SPs that take the lead or are more full on from the start. It really depends what you're looking for though.

This! OP you just need to get a girlfriend if you want civvie sex. Simple.

[shed]

Having just read the reviews I am inclined to agree with Davie.   

Maybe his reviews are written fantasy as opposed to having happened. Who knows    But something doesn't sound right to me . Just an opinion

[JontyR]

Maybe he doesn't write up the reviews where these problems are most highlighted.

OP- I think there is a certain amount of overthinking on your behalf and possibly over compensating. Maybe rather than giving more information you just say..."I am quite shy" then that should get the response you require if you have chosen your SP wisely and seem to be someone that appreciates such things.

Otherwise maybe consider a massage? Get in a relaxed environment and then they offer something, you say yes, and then they deliver it. May make you gain somethign from the assertion of saying yes (or no)

[daviemac]

Maybe he doesn't write up the reviews where these problems are most highlighted.

He's posted 4 reviews since March of this year and none of them give any indication of the issue he mentioned here. 

[Bonker]

This opening post is a piss take, methinks.

[rhinot]

Hi OP,

Quite shy myself. Day to day too.
Fairly new to FS having mostly massage and extras in the recent past.

Research!
Read the profiles and what they like.
If you are feeling awkward, you are probably polite and not pushy. The SPs will have come across pushy and obnoxious punters.
If they list a service, they are unlikely to be offended when you ask. 'Play with my cock', 'Sit on my face', 'Cover me in gravy' or whatever you are into 

It is not civvy street. Go for it. Very unlikely to go wrong if it is on their likes/profile.

I have had two excellent FS meets recently. One of who complimented me on me doing my homework on them.

Good luck.

[dlfetishist]

I'd say unless the fantasy is you want to be submissive to these people the best thing is to switch off a bit and treat your SP as an negotiator.

Think of it like they have something you want and you have something they want. If they're not showing enough interest then they're not fussed, move on and find someone who is because that's the reflection of these things.

My experience has been more money doesn't relate to a better experience. At most it gets you a more attractive/younger woman I've found. If you're not fussed in their interactions then it's not a problem but otherwise you need find ones who aren't over subscribed in guys and will take the time to give you what you want.

[daviemac]

I'd say unless the fantasy is you want to be submissive to these people the best thing is to switch off a bit and treat your SP as an negotiator.

Think of it like they have something you want and you have something they want. If they're not showing enough interest then they're not fussed, move on and find someone who is because that's the reflection of these things.

My experience has been more money doesn't relate to a better experience. At most it gets you a more attractive/younger woman I've found. If you're not fussed in their interactions then it's not a problem but otherwise you need find ones who aren't over subscribed in guys and will take the time to give you what you want.

Welcome to the forum, I'm sure a review or two of who you've had experience of would be appreciated.

[dlfetishist]

Welcome to the forum, I'm sure a review or two of who you've had experience of would be appreciated.

Thank you, the last time I've been with a escort was a good few years ago and have no idea if that girl still works etc.

I'm one of those people who has particular tastes so I don't really visit girls lately but I am looking to find one currently but wanted to be able to find some reviews here for my own safety having seen a couple girls come up in searches as dodgy.

I do talk to quite a lot of women for online services though and semi-regularly do phone sex sessions.