Punting Funds - how to keep them from prying eyes

[spkmstr48]

You're not alone - I can't imagine having joint finances with my other half.  It's insanity.

Trouble is you find that out after you've done it, some things can't be undone!

[spkmstr48]

My wife thinks I earn 200 pounds less than I actually do. Thanks to online payslips I don't have to intercept the mail to avoid being rumbled. So as soon as I get paid I withdraw 200 pounds and put it in my car's first aid bag(where my punting phone also lives) ready for my two punts for the month. Then i transfer all the rest of the money to the joint account so she can manage all the bills. At the moment though I am having a bit of a problem as missus wants payslips so she can apply for tax credits. I have been putting it off for months and I don't know how much longer I can hold her off.

Caught between your wife and the inland revenue, no way out without lying to one, you are fucked.

[spkmstr48]

You have forgotten the most important matrimonial benefit; free shagging!! On no, I forgot, that stopped about 15 years ago. Why did it take me so long to start punting?

There's a theory, true I fear, that if you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex with your wife, for the first 12 months from when you meet. Then start taking one out every time you have sex, you'll never empty it!

[bensonhedges20]

Car repairs and say you got a cash discount.

[NelsonH]

You credit card has just ben cloned in a petrol station, hasn't it.
So now you will be buying petrol in cash in future.

So you will always carry about £200 around in cash.
I've always done this.

If we go in a restaurant, I pay in cash. No more cloned cards, eh!

[Siadwel]

There's a theory, true I fear, that if you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex with your wife, for the first 12 months from when you meet. Then start taking one out every time you have sex, you'll never empty it!

I dunno. Me and the wife shagged like bunnies all our married life apart from the week she was on her period. Three times a week usually, not counting Friday night and Saturday morning, getting fucked out of our heads on coke and sucking, shagging, and wanking each other all night for a year or two in our late forties.

Right up until about a year before we split. The last time we fucked was about five days before she moved out. I never had an inkling it would be our last.

[Steely Dan]

You credit card has just ben cloned in a petrol station, hasn't it.
So now you will be buying petrol in cash in future.

So you will always carry about £200 around in cash.
I've always done this.

If we go in a restaurant, I pay in cash. No more cloned cards, eh!

I have done the same.  I just use cash all the time because I "like to".  So I always have £100+ pounds in my wallet.  I also joined a casino.  She hates this and gives me grief for both.  But not lately - as it has become just another one of the things I do that is wrong. So if she finds £150 in my wallet, it looks normal.  So my punting money is hidden in plain sight.