God, I never thought I'd ever need to post on this topic.
Had an outcall earlier - young English girl, nice enough, though slightly podgier than her profile photos. (plus ca change)
When I ventured south I was greeted with a real shock - I knew she had a hairy clopper as she mentioned it in her listing, and in honest I was slightly curious - it's so long since I've seen one there was even a hint of nostalgia about it. But it did have a slightly fusty smell/taste - I started with the clitoris but the further south I went I was getting pissy wafts. My thought process was to go straight for the rusty sheriff's badge. However, I then pushed her back to get a proper look, and noticed her arsehole was caked in shit. Froze for a second, then said "I think you've had an accident". She said "oh sorry, I did a fart on the way here, and obviously there was more to it than I thought". Basically, she had sharted and hadn't realised.
Fucking revolting - I finished the punt but it really ruined the mood. Not going to post a link as she was a nice girl and genuinely apologetic. But God almighty - from now on I will ALWAYS perform a visual check as if I hadn't I would have put my tongue straight in it.