First Anal, any advice?

[Goldfinch]

My first time with anal, I trembled with fear
As my cock got near to a working girl's rear
But, before I got started
She coughed and then farted
And fired a turd past my left ear

Sorry, I've been on the cider a bit early tonight.

 

[B4bcock]

Brilliant! 

     

[Xtro]

My first time with anal, I trembled with fear
As my cock got near to a working girl's rear
But, before I got started
She coughed and then farted
And fired a turd past my left ear

Sorry, I've been on the cider a bit early tonight.

That's disgustingly good!      

[boardyhell]

mia shoreditch,it doesn't get much better
doggie only please

[Steve2]

Find an escort who actually specialises in anal, not just one who will do it if you pay enough. Then you will get good guidance. Jane worked well for me, and was even willing to answer questions afterwards about anal sex and why/how she liked it.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Pure class 

No need for chatting or foreplay; just come in, we'll quickly
sort out the paper, then I'll gobble your cock hard
& take it straight up my slack, well-used arsehole
with complete ease, like a true anal whore should!

[myothernameis]

she not he anymore

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Corus Boy]

My first time with anal, I trembled with fear
As my cock got near to a working girl's rear
But, before I got started
She coughed and then farted
And fired a turd past my left ear

Sorry, I've been on the cider a bit early tonight.

I've just got to ask.

Did she charge extra for Hardsports?

[S.X. MacHine]

My first time with anal, I trembled with fear
As my cock got near to a working girl's rear
But, before I got started
She coughed and then farted
And fired a turd past my left ear

Sorry, I've been on the cider a bit early tonight.

There was a young man from Portkelly,
Who preferred his wife’s arse to her belly.
With squeals of delight,
He poked through a shite,
As he covered her bowels with his jelly.

[justalad]

Choose a girl a girl who clearly advertises anal (not anal at discretion).  Use plenty of lube on both your cock and her arse, ask her what works well for her and take her steer and finally ENJOY.

[penisilin]

I found this link to Asian WG's who offer A-level. Perhaps, I'll try one of these for a start.

External Link/Members Only

[bhudda]

Just a word of caution for anal bareback whether with a wg or civvy ... can lead to a nasty urinary tract infection that can be very difficult to get rid of. Not strictly a sexually transmitted disease but the hospital doctors and nurses i eventually encountered all made it pretty clear they had a good idea how i caught it. And that was almost certainly off the mrs.

[winkywanky]

Yes, sticking your bare cock up a poopchute will tend to force faecal matter down your urethra. Every time you thrust forward your urethral opening gapes and even with douching there'll still be plenty bacteria.

And the type of infection you get will be a giveaway when they do the culture test  .

[Bonker]

"Sorry, I've been on the cider a bit early tonight"

My first girlfriend used to say - every time she got a prick in her hand, she had to put it in cider. Put me right off.

[sparkus]

Yes, sticking your bare cock up a poopchute will tend to force faecal matter down your urethra. Every time you thrust forward your urethral opening gapes and even with douching there'll still be plenty bacteria.

And the type of infection you get will be a giveaway when they do the culture test  .

I've never had any bother doing it bareback with civvies (one of my favourite pasttimes!)

[winkywanky]

It does lay you open to UTIs.

Some people will be more prone than others I guess.

[bhudda]

I've never had any bother doing it bareback with civvies (one of my favourite pasttimes!)

well it's not guaranteed that you will get an infection if you do, and apparently if you wash your tackle and have a piss with decent pressure (not just a trickle) shortly after completing the deed the chances of getting an infection are reduced, but basically the germs that live in arses don't belong in urinary tracts. It was explained to me (with the mrs sat along side me anxious to know why after 3 courses of different antibiotics over a 6 week period I still had an infection) that women get far more such infections than men, basically cos the 2 relevant holes are closer together than they are in a man. This is why women are advised to wipe from front to back rather than from back to front when employing the andrex tissues.
They didn't state outright that most cases in men stemmed from shagging someone up the arse bareback, but they managed to imply it. Either my Mrs didn't get the implication, or was too embarrassed to admit she did. It would have been more awkward if she had been able to say "hang on a minute, you've never shagged me up the arse!"           

[penisilin]

Very cautious advice here. I'll not try it bareback; can't afford to catch UTI

[usroads]

You're quite right Bhudda - a good piss immediately afterwards sould pretty much self clean yout cock., but not guaranteed.

[Metalgear2018]

It's all risky behaviour. but the bareback option with a long term civie partner is the best.

[Home Alone]

"Sorry, I've been on the cider a bit early tonight"

My first girlfriend used to say - every time she got a prick in her hand, she had to put it in cider. Put me right off.

Boom boom!  That's too good not to be celebrated, Bonker.

[sparkus]

Boom boom!  That's too good not to be celebrated, Bonker.

It's actually a Vic Reeves joke.

[winkywanky]

well it's not guaranteed that you will get an infection if you do, and apparently if you wash your tackle and have a piss with decent pressure (not just a trickle) shortly after completing the deed the chances of getting an infection are reduced, but basically the germs that live in arses don't belong in urinary tracts. It was explained to me (with the mrs sat along side me anxious to know why after 3 courses of different antibiotics over a 6 week period I still had an infection) that women get far more such infections than men, basically cos the 2 relevant holes are closer together than they are in a man. This is why women are advised to wipe from front to back rather than from back to front when employing the andrex tissues.
They didn't state outright that most cases in men stemmed from shagging someone up the arse bareback, but they managed to imply it. Either my Mrs didn't get the implication, or was too embarrassed to admit she did. It would have been more awkward if she had been able to say "hang on a minute, you've never shagged me up the arse!"           

Also because women don't have an 'extension' on the end of their urethra, women are more likely to contract a UTI. Their exit hole is a lot closer to the bladder.

[sparkus]

well it's not guaranteed that you will get an infection if you do, and apparently if you wash your tackle and have a piss with decent pressure (not just a trickle) shortly after completing the deed the chances of getting an infection are reduced, but basically the germs that live in arses don't belong in urinary tracts. It was explained to me (with the mrs sat along side me anxious to know why after 3 courses of different antibiotics over a 6 week period I still had an infection) that women get far more such infections than men, basically cos the 2 relevant holes are closer together than they are in a man. This is why women are advised to wipe from front to back rather than from back to front when employing the andrex tissues.
They didn't state outright that most cases in men stemmed from shagging someone up the arse bareback, but they managed to imply it. Either my Mrs didn't get the implication, or was too embarrassed to admit she did. It would have been more awkward if she had been able to say "hang on a minute, you've never shagged me up the arse!"           

I get all that but I have gay mates for whom anal sex is obviously the only show in town and none ever report such difficulties.

[bhudda]

I get all that but I have gay mates for whom anal sex is obviously the only show in town and none ever report such difficulties.

So maybe i was just unlucky ... but i know from personal experience it is "a thing" ... maybe not common, as i said, the medics advised me it was usually women who had that tyle of infection.

 And certainly i was unlucky to get one that they had to try 4 different antibiotics before they found one that worked.

And obviously you know your gay mates better than me but not all gays do anal ... some are ok with just hand jobs and oral.

And if they are anything like me they perhaps wouldnt go around telling all their mates they have a uti almost certainly caused from dipping their cock in shit.

I have done anal many times and only got an infection once so its not something that happens every time, but i am reluctant to do it again without protection, even with a long term civvy partner.

[Home Alone]

It's actually a Vic Reeves joke.

Really? Well, it was new to me; so I was thanking the bloke who first brought it to my attention.

[jimmyinreading]

Agree with the earlier comments about gaining entry. It’s like when you’re drilling into a wall and suddenly get to a softer bit and the drill goes straight in. Getting past the sphincter is almost like a pop ... pushing away, next thing you’re in and it is easy to go further ... but the sphincter has a nice tight grip around your cock. Great visually! And knowing you’re up the wrong ‘un definitely puts lead in the pencil for me.

[B4bcock]

Agree with the earlier comments about gaining entry. It’s like when you’re drilling into a wall and suddenly get to a softer bit and the drill goes straight in.

If you encounter too much resistance, switch to hammer mode.

[winkywanky]

  

[Bonker]

Really? Well, it was new to me; so I was thanking the bloke who first brought it to my attention.

Thanks mate, but I can't take the credit.
It's actually a very old joke, way before Vic Reeves. On a seaside postcard.

[sparkus]

Thanks mate, but I can't take the credit.
It's actually a very old joke, way before Vic Reeves. On a seaside postcard.

Here you go: External Link/Members Only

Thanks for giving me the excuse to watch it again.

[sparkus]

Agree with the earlier comments about gaining entry. It’s like when you’re drilling into a wall and suddenly get to a softer bit and the drill goes straight in. Getting past the sphincter is almost like a pop ... pushing away, next thing you’re in and it is easy to go further ... but the sphincter has a nice tight grip around your cock. Great visually! And knowing you’re up the wrong ‘un definitely puts lead in the pencil for me.

I'm guessing that, in the case of civvies rather than seasoned 'pros', you may have to be guided by the female in question and what's she's comfortable with (I forget which Irvine Welsh novel had the anal virginity Vaseline/Vix Vaporub mix-up in it).  It's also good to give her something to grip (e.g. your hands from behind) to let her take the lead.

One refused to allow me a single thrust until she determined how far it went in by pushing me against the bedroom wall (which was quite good, as it happens), another who was utterly revulsed by the 'idea' but succumbed on her period later said it became all she "could think about, morning, day, noon and night", so do persevere if you're not having much luck.

[sparkus]

When I first saw the thread I thought OP meant on him!

Back to bareback... as I recall, it was correct form for a woman on her period to offer up her arse, even on a one night stand. It's actually an easy position to do while standing.

As a teen, being asked to take arse virgnity was the highest compliment a girl could pay you.

[winkywanky]

When I first saw the thread I thought OP meant on him!

Back to bareback... as I recall, it was correct form for a woman on her period to offer up her arse, even on a one night stand. It's actually an easy position to do while standing.

As a teen, being asked to take arse virgnity was the highest compliment a girl could pay you.

You seem so very experienced in anal sex generally sparkus, and even from such an early age it seems (when very many never experience it in their whole lives), it must surely be the case that such is your natural in-built exuberance for this unBiblical abomination, you must surely exude some kind of aura which means women simply cannot resist offering up their hind quarters for some wicked bum love.

Please reassure us all, that you're not merely one of those guys who would glibly say when kneeling behind a vulnerable female in the canine position: "sorry luv, wrong 'ole, 'ow did that 'appen? Oh well, might as well finish now..." 

[sparkus]

You seem so very experienced in anal sex generally sparkus, and even from such an early age it seems (when very many never experience it in their whole lives), it must surely be the case that such is your natural in-built exuberance for this unBiblical abomination, you must surely exude some kind of aura which means women simply cannot resist offering up their hind quarters for some wicked bum love.

Please reassure us all, that you're not merely one of those guys who would glibly say when kneeling behind a vulnerable female in the canine position: "sorry luv, wrong 'ole, 'ow did that 'appen? Oh well, might as well finish now..." 

Impossible not to hear that said in a Yorkshire accent, so not really.

I suppose when you're younger it's the 'next level' after popping your cherry and lads can be competitive in that regard.

There was the Too Much Information coach guide on Little Britain who insisted on regaling groups with lurid stories of his teenage "up the wrong 'un" experiences as well.

I think we've discussed on here before how Asian oriental back passages don't seem designed for such activities.

[Xtro]

When I first saw the thread I thought OP meant on him!
........

For some strange reason I just searched for "Scum (1979) - The Greenhouse" on YouTube.      

[winkywanky]

Impossible not to hear that said in a Yorkshire accent, so not really.

I suppose when you're younger it's the 'next level' after popping your cherry and lads can be competitive in that regard.

There was the Too Much Information coach guide on Little Britain who insisted on regaling groups with lurid stories of his teenage "up the wrong 'un" experiences as well.

I think we've discussed on here before how Asian oriental back passages don't seem designed for such activities.

I'd forgotten aboout that sketch, but of course precious little chance of seeing it now 

As for Asian Oriental back passages, I would disagree with you there, I've had some very agreeable bum love experiences with a couple of hot ones up to now  .

[sparkus]

For some strange reason I just searched for "Scum (1979) - The Greenhouse" on YouTube.      

That film was quite an effective deterrent for teenage tearaways, I'll tell you.  It was shown on the Channel 4 'Banned' season (alongside 'The Night Porter' etc.) in the early 90s and it was avidly discussed the next day at school.  A teacher overheard our sympathies for Davis and said "Well he should have thought about that when he was mugging grannies then," but I seriously doubt that's what he was in for.

Less graphic than a certain scene in Deliverance but more screwed up given the not so blind eye of the warder.

[sparkus]

I'd forgotten aboout that sketch, but of course precious little chance of seeing it now 

As for Asian Oriental back passages, I would disagree with you there, I've had some very agreeable bum love experiences with a couple of hot ones up to now  .

Another victory for wokedom.

I've tried a couple of times but it's not exactly been the same.

[winkywanky]

Of course mine have been Trans, they are perhaps rather more experienced than you average Oriental girl 

[sparkus]

Of course mine have been Trans, they are perhaps rather more experienced than you average Oriental girl 

I'm talking about those born female.  I gather it's frowned upon in China, Korea and Japan?

Potential hornet's nest but I find black and Indian girls more cut out for it.

Speaking of film scenes (no, not Last Tango) - City of God and the banana?

[Xtro]

That film was quite an effective deterrent for teenage tearaways, I'll tell you.  It was shown on the Channel 4 'Banned' season (alongside 'The Night Porter' etc.) in the early 90s and it was avidly discussed the next day at school.  A teacher overheard our sympathies for Davis and said "Well he should have thought about that when he was mugging grannies then," but I seriously doubt that's what he was in for.

Less graphic than a certain scene in Deliverance but more screwed up given the not so blind eye of the warder.

Did you know there are 2 versions of scum?  External Link/Members Only

[sparkus]

Did you know there are 2 versions of scum?  External Link/Members Only

I did but haven't seen the first 'banned' one, I gather it was made for TV? I can't really accept Frank Gallagher as Archer.

I have it on DVD but it's part of an Alan Clarke boxset.

[winkywanky]

I'm talking about those born female.  I gather it's frowned upon in China, Korea and Japan?

Potential hornet's nest but I find black and Indian girls more cut out for it.

Speaking of film scenes (no, not Last Tango) - City of God and the banana?

Ah, you're perhaps talking about lack of experience or willingness then?

Have you ever considered offering up your services to the WHO as their Anal Sex Consultant?

[sparkus]

Ah, you're perhaps talking about lack of experience or willingness then?

Have you ever considered offering up your services to the WHO as their Anal Sex Consultant?

In the same way TV comedians are now being rounded on, I gather global agencies are also feeling the pinch after that Oxfam scandal.

The only way is punt, baby.  For you and me now.

[winkywanky]

In the same way TV comedians are now being rounded on, I gather global agencies are also feeling the pinch after that Oxfam scandal.

The only way is punt, baby.  For you and me now.

I wasn't for one moment considering misusing your position as a missionary to take advantage of native women! Even in the missionary position  .

[sparkus]

Ah, you're perhaps talking about lack of experience or willingness then?

Have you ever considered offering up your services to the WHO as their Anal Sex Consultant?

To answer your question, I'd say over a 15 year period I can point to all of three such willing women (who were anal-curious) but for whom none felt good (for me).

[winkywanky]

To answer your question, I'd say over a 15 year period I can point to all of three such willing women (who were anal-curious) but for whom none felt good (for me).

So, willing but didn't feel 'right'.

Wrong 'tunnel shape'?

[sparkus]

I wasn't for one moment considering misusing your position as a missionary to take advantage of native women! Even in the missionary position  .

Consider this for a minute.  Apparently in China it's impossible for westerners' every move to not be noted by someone.  Fancy a rub and tug? It'll get seen by someone who will come down on you about it sooner or later ("Oh, you have ethical concerns about being asked to do this at work? You didn't have any at 9.27pm on the 11th of March, did you?")

I don't know the lay of the land in Korea or Japan but some rudimentary research shows that a usual TCM experience in Japan will set you back much more than here (e.g. £70 tip for just a HJ in a Thai joint).  My last Thai holiday wasn't exactly cheap and the summit of my experience was a gobful of cheb during a HJ (I've tried to repress the BJ in front of a packed bar of men).

In Europe oriental massage services are lesser in number than here and my enquiries on occasional city-breaks saw them as quite bank-busting.  Settled for just doing the missus back at the hotel.

So, that's China and most of East Asia out, ditto Europe it seems.  London? One of my last visits to a semi-regular I'm laid face down on her table and there's stony silence.  "Why you no come anymore?" "As I told you, I don't really 'do' massage these days." "Not true." "Oh, how so?" "My friend in Soho see you." "How?" "She tell me tattoo on your back."

I gather the East coast of the US has quite a few Korean massage joints...

[sparkus]

So, willing but didn't feel 'right'.

Wrong 'tunnel shape'?

Exactly that.

[winkywanky]

Consider this for a minute.  Apparently in China it's impossible for westerners' every move to not be noted by someone.  Fancy a rub and tug? It'll get seen by someone who will come down on you about it sooner or later ("Oh, you have ethical concerns about being asked to do this at work? You didn't have any at 9.27pm on the 11th of March, did you?")

I don't know the lay of the land in Korea or Japan but some rudimentary research shows that a usual TCM experience in Japan will set you back much more than here (e.g. £70 tip for just a HJ in a Thai joint).  My last Thai holiday wasn't exactly cheap and the summit of my experience was a gobful of cheb during a HJ (I've tried to repress the BJ in front of a packed bar of men).

In Europe oriental massage services are lesser in number than here and my enquiries on occasional city-breaks saw them as quite bank-busting.  Settled for just doing the missus back at the hotel.

So, that's China and most of East Asia out, ditto Europe it seems.  London? One of my last visits to a semi-regular I'm laid face down on her table and there's stony silence.  "Why you no come anymore?" "As I told you, I don't really 'do' massage these days." "Not true." "Oh, how so?" "My friend in Soho see you." "How?" "She tell me tattoo on your back."

I gather the East coast of the US has quite a few Korean massage joints...

Never trust the ones with the slitty eyes