Finding the time and transferring the funds

[BillyBackDoor]

Like many on here I'm sure, I earn enough for many more punts than I actually do.  My main problem is the joint bank account.  My wife is very diligent when it comes watching what comes in and what goes out.

I manage to squirrel funds away under the guise of "expenses", but it's never enough.  The other problem is finding the time away from a busy family life.  Particularly for weekend morning punts, which I really enjoy.

I'm toying with the idea of taking up an expensive time consuming hobby, that can only be paid for in cash..

Right now I'm struggling with a lack of imagination.

Any ideas?

[Rock123]

Poker.


And you won't be lying either 

[Dani]

How a bout Golf.  Its far from cheap and takes you away for hours at a time and even phone reception can be terrible so an excuse if wife tries to ring you
How about getting your own bank account and having your wages paid into that and then transferring some of it to your joint account.  If you work you are entitled to spend some of your money however you want to once bills etc are sorted.  Same with the wife.  You should always have a separate bank account though as no one should know everything you do and every penny you spend.  Its not healthy so live like that. 
tell your wife you are opening your own account and setting up an ISA on it so need x amount of money a month to put into it from your wages and then keep some of that for punting

[BillyBackDoor]

I like it.  I can hear the after game confession now. " well I had really good hand in, but was totally blown away by a massive pair"

[smiths]

How a bout Golf.  Its far from cheap and takes you away for hours at a time and even phone reception can be terrible so an excuse if wife tries to ring you
How about getting your own bank account and having your wages paid into that and then transferring some of it to your joint account.  If you work you are entitled to spend some of your money however you want to once bills etc are sorted.  Same with the wife.  You should always have a separate bank account though as no one should know everything you do and every penny you spend.  Its not healthy so live like that. 
tell your wife you are opening your own account and setting up an ISA on it so need x amount of money a month to put into it from your wages and then keep some of that for punting

Golf has served me well as an excuse for years and one i do actually play it and two i dont say exactly what course i will be p;aying on, it could be one of many plus i say i will be giving such and such new course a look sometimes. This being vague is ideal in my situation but if a partner is of the very nosy kind it might not be so ideal.

Some punters use joining a gym as their excuse. As to money is it possible to start paying for fuel and even shopping in cash without the partner getting suspicious, if so squirrel some of that away if possible. But remember it has to be beleiveable to her, if you think she wont buy this change dont bother.

[BillyBackDoor]

Thanks for the advice Dani, but I think after living like this for as long as we have, another account would really raise suspicions.  I'd rather stay off the radar if poss.

[nigel4498]

How about train spotting?
Takes you out and about and you will need an expensive camera.
Believe me it's not a hobby that women will want to share with you so ideal cover.

[robs one]

I agree with the others, Golf is by far the best excuse. I go away of plenty of weekends playing and have no problems fitting in punts.
If you say you earn enough then your wife shouldn't comment on you spending it on a hobby.
I can easily spend £500 on a weekend of golf and not have a punt so it's easily covered

[Quesadilla]

Am genuinely amazed at the capacity of people to literally live a huge lie. I am in awe. I lie for a living - I work in sales - but I could never lie to my wife - way too big a betrayal for me personally - and that's why in the end I had to separate from her before I could punt. 

So my advice - divorce/separate.  Clearly you're not happily married, stats suggest we are in the majority, join the club and then punt without having to make up some shizzle hobby.

Surely better to come clean than to be caught out? By being upfront with my wife we have remained amicable through separation and re the financial split, vs being caught out which will likely end up with you being taken to the cleaners, obviously losing all contact with your wife who I assume you at least actually like, and if you have kids quite possibly having them lose all respect for you and never seeing you again either.

[galcom666]

Paintball.

Paintball venues are always far out in the countryside with no phone signals and no card machines to take money.

You can burn through £100 easy if you are heavy on the trigger AND any bruises are easily explained.

[Quesadilla]

Paintball.

Paintball venues are always far out in the countryside with no phone signals and no card machines to take money.

You can burn through £100 easy if you are heavy on the trigger AND any bruises are easily explained.

Which WG's are you visiting Justpin??

[nigel4498]

Quesadilla, you never come away from a punt bruised then?
You haven't lived.

[threechilliman]

Am genuinely amazed at the capacity of people to literally live a huge lie. I am in awe. I lie for a living - I work in sales - but I could never lie to my wife - way too big a betrayal for me personally - and that's why in the end I had to separate from her before I could punt. 

So my advice - divorce/separate.  Clearly you're not happily married, stats suggest we are in the majority, join the club and then punt without having to make up some shizzle hobby.

Surely better to come clean than to be caught out? By being upfront with my wife we have remained amicable through separation and re the financial split, vs being caught out which will likely end up with you being taken to the cleaners, obviously losing all contact with your wife who I assume you at least actually like, and if you have kids quite possibly having them lose all respect for you and never seeing you again either.

You've missed the point. I love the deception - it's like a drug!!

I struggle to find any time when my whereabouts is unknown having a wife at home and working with 5 milfs in the office (who watch me like hawks). I still manage to punt once a week, creating just enough vagueness over timings to weedle out the magic hour I need. My punts happen at lightening speed once they're under way which gives me an incredible buzz.

tcm

[smiths]

Am genuinely amazed at the capacity of people to literally live a huge lie. I am in awe. I lie for a living - I work in sales - but I could never lie to my wife - way too big a betrayal for me personally - and that's why in the end I had to separate from her before I could punt. 

So my advice - divorce/separate.  Clearly you're not happily married, stats suggest we are in the majority, join the club and then punt without having to make up some shizzle hobby.

Surely better to come clean than to be caught out? By being upfront with my wife we have remained amicable through separation and re the financial split, vs being caught out which will likely end up with you being taken to the cleaners, obviously losing all contact with your wife who I assume you at least actually like, and if you have kids quite possibly having them lose all respect for you and never seeing you again either.

I have never been married but i punt for the variety of having sex with WGs i fancy. However, just having sex isnt ALL i require, i want and desire a relationship for that and love. Basically i want my cake and to eat it and make not getting caught out a top priority without ever getting complacent.

I also dont need anyone elses views on the morality of cheating as i have my own. I very long ago stopped feeling guilty as it spoiled my fun.

[Quesadilla]

You've missed the point. I love the deception - it's like a drug!!

I struggle to find any time when my whereabouts is unknown having a wife at home and working with 5 milfs in the office (who watch me like hawks). I still manage to punt once a week, creating just enough vagueness over timings to weedle out the magic hour I need. My punts happen at lightening speed once they're under way which gives me an incredible buzz.

tcm

To each their own TCM - I respect the thrill of the chase and deception generally - as I say I deceive for a living to some extent (at which I'm fucking excellent hence significant funds for this hobby). 

I guess for me I have an issue with deceiving someone I genuinely care about.  Does sound from other threads like some on here actually don't even like their spouses so I can understand that to some degree - if you've got kids it may just be more practical to deceive vs have an expensive divorce. Equally there is a small voice that says maybe it would have been "nicer" to lie to my missus vs have her have to go pick up the pieces of a separation/divorce and start again.

So if that's part of the fun for you believe me I am not one to judge!  No right or wrong here, only opinions.

[BillyBackDoor]

I've seen what separation can do to kids.  Half the WGs we see probably have "Daddy issues".   No, I'm staying put.  At least until they've left for uni.  And yes I do appreciate the irony.

[charming_red]

Must be a minefield if you haven't got a single bank account! Your wife will be watching every transaction coming and going. WTF 

There are accounts that are exclusively online, with no paper statements sent to your address. If you're stuck with all your income going into a jount acc, the trick is to get the funds into the online account. Hate to be in your position, but good luck 

[jsparky]

Bird watching, buy a binoculars, surely, its cheaper than the golf club membership or a very expensive camera?

[Quesadilla]

I've seen what separation can do to kids.  Half the WGs we see probably have "Daddy issues".   No, I'm staying put.  At least until they've left for uni.  And yes I do appreciate the irony.

Surely that's all the more reason to get divorced / separated - more hot girls with daddy issues = more WG's for us punters!! C'mon guys share the wealth!!   

Is that perhaps a little too close to the knuckle?

Note to self - do not drink and post!

[herelonely]

A good option can be cashback, 65 shop becomes 85 etc, and you get brownie points for "ill pop to the shop love, don't worry). I fill up with petrol 6/7 times a month,  mrs h won't do it, so again 10 or 20 cashback

[west8]

Poker.


And you won't be lying either 

 

[herelonely]

quote author=Quesadilla link=topic=42242.msg561828#msg561828 date=1415824540]
Am genuinely amazed at the capacity of people to literally live a huge lie. I am in awe. I lie for a living - I work in sales - but I could never lie to my wife - way too big a betrayal for me personally - and that's why in the end I had to separate from her before I could punt. 

So my advice - divorce/separate.  Clearly you're not happily married, stats suggest we are in the majority, join the club and then punt without having to make up some shizzle hobby.

Surely better to come clean than to be caught out? By being upfront with my wife we have remained amicable through separation and re the financial split, vs being caught out which will likely end up with you being taken to the cleaners, obviously losing all contact with your wife who I assume you at least actually like, and if you have kids quite possibly having them lose all respect for you and never seeing you again either.


[/quote]

Not always possible mate, personally I like and love my wife and adore my kids, we have very different sex drive and thoughts on variety etc (eg 1 bj in 18 years) and so I punt occasionally when I get frustrated at lack of activity, I genuinely believe it reduces arguments etc as it removes resentment on my part course mrs h may have a different view if she ever finds out!

[Corus Boy]

Horse riding.

Not that cheap or too expensive.
Cash orientated payment business.
Good for having your phone off so as to not panic the horse.
You might need to travel to distant parts for a horsey event.
Smells

[sucky2dollar]

Take up fishing, lots of time to yourself and an excuse to consistantly take small amounts of cash out for bait, equipment, food etc

Just make sure you don't come back smelling of fish   

[cockneybstrd]

Horse riding.

Not that cheap or too expensive.
Cash orientated payment business.
Good for having your phone off so as to not panic the horse.
You might need to travel to distant parts for a horsey event.
Smells

Actually you should claim your buying a share in a Horse or Greyhound

Gives you an excuse for large cash withdrawal and monthly cash withdrawals for trainers fee and entree fee's for the horse and greyhound

Also gives you the excuse to say your travelling around the country to watch it race

[Quesadilla]

Am genuinely amazed at the capacity of people to literally live a huge lie. I am in awe. I lie for a living - I work in sales - but I could never lie to my wife - way too big a betrayal for me personally - and that's why in the end I had to separate from her before I could punt. 

So my advice - divorce/separate.  Clearly you're not happily married, stats suggest we are in the majority, join the club and then punt without having to make up some shizzle hobby.

Surely better to come clean than to be caught out? By being upfront with my wife we have remained amicable through separation and re the financial split, vs being caught out which will likely end up with you being taken to the cleaners, obviously losing all contact with your wife who I assume you at least actually like, and if you have kids quite possibly having them lose all respect for you and never seeing you again either.

Not always possible mate, personally I like and love my wife and adore my kids, we have very different sex drive and thoughts on variety etc (eg 1 bj in 18 years) and so I punt occasionally when I get frustrated at lack of activity, I genuinely believe it reduces arguments etc as it removes resentment on my part course mrs h may have a different view if she ever finds out!

Always possible and I challenge that "love my wife" comment a little. If you are prepared to lie to her face, and indeed to your kids, then you don't really love her. You love some of the stuff you get out of your relationship for sure, but by your own admission you actually resent her and your relationship. This is (at least partially) why you say you are going outside the marriage for fucky sucky.
Obviously having kids you are reluctant to rock the boat, I totally get that but honestly you might at least want to consider Relate counselling or similar to find a forum where you can start to at least talk about your differences in sex drive.  Otherwise you are just a prisoner of the relationship.  Is that really what you want for your life?
Again, I feel that doing something about it is better than living the lie and being found out. Having seen families torn apart by affairs - ie the kids never speaking to their dad again - I would not wish that on anyone.

[StevenS]

My tip on this is be helpful and do the supermarket shop. The little bits in the week with £10 cash back here, £20 there. You'll be amazed how that adds up.

I punt in the daytime, lunch time treat

[maxxblue]

Am genuinely amazed at the capacity of people to literally live a huge lie. I am in awe. I lie for a living - I work in sales - but I could never lie to my wife - way too big a betrayal for me personally - and that's why in the end I had to separate from her before I could punt. 

So my advice - divorce/separate.  Clearly you're not happily married, stats suggest we are in the majority, join the club and then punt without having to make up some shizzle hobby.

Surely better to come clean than to be caught out? By being upfront with my wife we have remained amicable through separation and re the financial split, vs being caught out which will likely end up with you being taken to the cleaners, obviously losing all contact with your wife who I assume you at least actually like, and if you have kids quite possibly having them lose all respect for you and never seeing you again either.

Are you saying that being happily married and punting are incompatible?

Wonder what other people think?

[StevenS]

Are you saying that being happily married and punting are incompatible?

Wonder what other people think?

I think that's bollocks. My wife rocks. Sex is plentiful. I'm just hooked on the thrill of punting and probably a bit selfish.

[johnny34]

Bird watching, buy a binoculars, surely, its cheaper than the golf club membership or a very expensive camera?

Yes and when you get home your not lying when you say you saw a pair of 'great tits' & managed to capture a 'shag' on camera

[smiths]

Are you saying that being happily married and punting are incompatible?

Wonder what other people think?

As i posted above pre-empting such posts i dont need anyone elses views on morality as i have my own. No one but me knows how i love. All my adult life i have punted for sex and had relationships for sex and all that goes with being loved and loving. The fact is one woman however much i love her cant offer the variety i require and desire so i cheat to get it. Doesnt mean i dont love my partner irrespective of what others think, thats up to them, doesnt change what i know is the case.

[StevenS]

As i posted above pre-empting such posts i dont need anyone elses views on morality as i have my own. No one but me knows how i love. All my adult life i have punted for sex and had relationships for sex and all that goes with being loved and loving. The fact is one woman however much i love her cant offer the variety i require and desire so i cheat to get it. Doesnt mean i dont love my partner irrespective of what others think, thats up to them, doesnt change what i know is the case.

Well said smiths.

Besides, I'm not sure i would take moral guidance from anyone who buys sex wether they are single or not.

[Quesadilla]

Are you saying that being happily married and punting are incompatible?

Wonder what other people think?

Yes, absolutely incompatible if she is not aware you are punting. I am sure there might be edge cases where the wife is aware - maybe she's no longer willing/able to have sex for medical reasons so is aware but turns a blind eye.

But if she's not aware then much as you kid yourself you're happily married you are routinely lying to your wife - in theory the "love of your life" who you have pledged to "love honour and obey". That can never be a happy marriage! It's a bare-faced lie. If anyone on this forum (excluding the odd edge case described above) for one second doubts that marriage and punting are incompatible I challenge them to tell their missus about their exploits.  Good luck with that! 

Don't get me wrong - I'm not blaming anyone - I think marriage is a dumb institution inflicted on us by conservative / Christian civilization and is totally outdated.  But don't kid yourself that your marriage is a "happy marriage" if you are off boning WG's behind your wife's back.

Doesn't have to be a WG - seen plenty of marriages torn apart by affairs and hubby's not too happy then once he's divested of everything but his bollocks (and sometimes those too) and never gets back the faith / trust of his kids.

[StevenS]

Yes, absolutely incompatible if she is not aware you are punting. I am sure there might be edge cases where the wife is aware - maybe she's no longer willing/able to have sex for medical reasons so is aware but turns a blind eye.

But if she's not aware then much as you kid yourself you're happily married you are routinely lying to your wife - in theory the "love of your life" who you have pledged to "love honour and obey". That can never be a happy marriage! It's a bare-faced lie. If anyone on this forum (excluding the odd edge case described above) for one second doubts that marriage and punting are incompatible I challenge them to tell their missus about their exploits.  Good luck with that! 

Don't get me wrong - I'm not blaming anyone - I think marriage is a dumb institution inflicted on us by conservative / Christian civilization and is totally outdated.  But don't kid yourself that your marriage is a "happy marriage" if you are off boning WG's behind your wife's back.

Doesn't have to be a WG - seen plenty of marriages torn apart by affairs and hubby's not too happy then once he's divested of everything but his bollocks (and sometimes those too) and never gets back the faith / trust of his kids.

I'm married and I'm happy in that marriage. I'm happily married.

Of course if I told her it would be suicide. She wouldn't be happy. That's not the point. You're suggesting I'm not happy and nor are others like me. I'm telling you I am. I'm not kidding myself. I'm grown up enough to know my own mind.

And comparing punting to an affair is just naive. An affair involves emotions and a connection and isn't a professional  transaction.

[RedKettle]

I'm married and I'm happy in that marriage. I'm happily married.

Of course if I told her it would be suicide. She wouldn't be happy. That's not the point. You're suggesting I'm not happy and nor are others like me. I'm telling you I am. I'm not kidding myself. I'm grown up enough to know my own mind.

And comparing punting to an affair is just naive. An affair involves emotions and a connection and isn't a professional  transaction.

agree 100%

[smiths]

I'm married and I'm happy in that marriage. I'm happily married.

Of course if I told her it would be suicide. She wouldn't be happy. That's not the point. You're suggesting I'm not happy and nor are others like me. I'm telling you I am. I'm not kidding myself. I'm grown up enough to know my own mind.

And comparing punting to an affair is just naive. An affair involves emotions and a connection and isn't a professional  transaction.

Good post, totally agree, except i am not married.

[Quesadilla]

I'm married and I'm happy in that marriage. I'm happily married.

Of course if I told her it would be suicide. She wouldn't be happy. That's not the point. You're suggesting I'm not happy and nor are others like me. I'm telling you I am. I'm not kidding myself. I'm grown up enough to know my own mind.

And comparing punting to an affair is just naive. An affair involves emotions and a connection and isn't a professional  transaction.

No I'm suggesting that by only caring about your own happiness you are kidding yourself. A genuinely happy marriage involves two people does it not?  You may "know you're own mind" but you also know your wife's and by your own admission she would absolutely NOT be happy with your fucking around with pro$$ies (suicide is the term you used).

So in actual fact you are using your wife in a far worse way than you use a WG. You seem to think your marriage is different because it involves "emotions and connection" but in reality by abusing your wife's emotional bond to you and connection to you in this way effectively you are saying your wife means less to you than the pro$$ies you fuck - because at least with them you have the guts to be honest.

By all means know your own mind but if you are not happy with that whole "one man one woman" shit which is legally part of marriage you should not be married - develop an open relationship if that's what you want, but don't kid yourself that routinely lying to your wife will ever equate to a "happy marriage".  For you it may be, but for her never - so it's not a marriage, it's just another WG relationsihp and your wife is just another type of slut you fuck - just without the benefit of a reacharound.

[herelonely]

I'm married and I'm happy in that marriage. I'm happily married.

Of course if I told her it would be suicide. She wouldn't be happy. That's not the point. You're suggesting I'm not happy and nor are others like me. I'm telling you I am. I'm not kidding myself. I'm grown up enough to know my own mind.

And comparing punting to an affair is just naive. An affair involves emotions and a connection and isn't a professional  transaction.

[dboy74]

A friend of a friend who punts (doesn't know I do) claims to his wife that he has an expensive season ticket for Chelsea.

This allows him to withdraw money to supposedly pay for the ticket, subsequent additional money to pay for food and drink at the game and has the excuse for being away from his home for several hours at weekends and midweek.

I presume he has to ensure he knows the score before going home 

[akauya]

Yes, absolutely incompatible if she is not aware you are punting. I am sure there might be edge cases where the wife is aware - maybe she's no longer willing/able to have sex for medical reasons so is aware but turns a blind eye.

But if she's not aware then much as you kid yourself you're happily married you are routinely lying to your wife - in theory the "love of your life" who you have pledged to "love honour and obey". That can never be a happy marriage! It's a bare-faced lie. If anyone on this forum (excluding the odd edge case described above) for one second doubts that marriage and punting are incompatible I challenge them to tell their missus about their exploits.  Good luck with that! 

Don't get me wrong - I'm not blaming anyone - I think marriage is a dumb institution inflicted on us by conservative / Christian civilization and is totally outdated.  But don't kid yourself that your marriage is a "happy marriage" if you are off boning WG's behind your wife's back.

Doesn't have to be a WG - seen plenty of marriages torn apart by affairs and hubby's not too happy then once he's divested of everything but his bollocks (and sometimes those too) and never gets back the faith / trust of his kids.

Bollocks mate. You're judging every married person by your own experiences and as we know we are all different. I believe that most marriages are based on compromises and lies to a greater or lesser extent. How one reacts to them depends not only on their personality but also on the circumstances of each marriage. Not every marriage will be like yours.

When you say how could you lie to the person you love etc. It's like me saying you are liar by profession (you said you work in sales?), how could you live with yourself when you are lying to your customers? Yes, I know (customers/wife) it's not the same but still it's a dumb comment. Be careful or you might end up sounding like a mumsnetter

As I posted on another thread I think the term "happily married" is an oxymoron, simply because I don't believe true happiness exists, it's an ephemeral illusion. Most people live contented lives with their day to day routines and customs. But for the purposes of this argument most people are "happy" with that and are also "happy" with the stability a wife gives them plus the fact that they can fuck pretty younger versions of their wives.

Another factor to consider is that a lot of those poor wives being cheated on are cheaters themselves and are "happy" doing so. I should know, a lot of my lovers were married women... and serial adulterers most of them. They really put me to shame.

The fact that you couldn't handle lying to your wife doesn't mean that most evil, cheating scumbags like myself can't. 

[myothernameis]

.

Any ideas?

Kill 2 birds with one stone

How  about doing something for your wife, and maybe one of her friends

Your wifes birthday, arrange a weekend trip to some beauty treatment place, and while she there, you have your end away

[robs one]

I though the guy just asked for advice on stashing a bit of money for a punt not whether he was morally right or whether he loved his wife or doesn't understand love ,bla bla bla..
each to there own, just don't get caught 

[jake_6969]

When you take £££ from the cashpoint just take an extra tenner every time, things are so much more expensive these days. Cashback on the shopping is a good idea too.

As for time, I'm lucky that I get to do a lot of 2 or 3 hour training courses, I HAVE to stay current in my job, it's easy to tell the other half that I'm doing another one. Just make sure the course is in the town you are punting! Nearly got caught out when the car broke down in a town 30miles in the other direction from where I was training! For evening meets then it's work social club meetings or union meetings.

[Tony Montana]

The thing is, you can buy virtually everything with credit/debit card these days so there are fewer good reasons to get cash out of the ATM.

[CBPaul]

The thing is, you can buy virtually everything with credit/debit card these days so there are fewer good reasons to get cash out of the ATM.

This is precisely the problem.

Suddenly paying for things in cash that you've otherwise done on a card is going to be noticed. Supermarket cash back is easy but a pack of sandwiches, a drink and 100 quid from Tesco can't happen too often. Suddenly offering to do the weekly shop is going to be highly suspicious. Whenever I ask in petrol stations they just mumble about there being a cash point outside, so back to square one with that one.

[akauya]

The thing is, you can buy virtually everything with credit/debit card these days so there are fewer good reasons to get cash out of the ATM.

There is always the excuse that you had to take a very expensive taxi and the grumpy driver refused to take cards as it messes his tax returns. So it had to be cash only 

[Tony Montana]

There is always the excuse that you had to take a very expensive taxi and the grumpy driver refused to take cards as it messes his tax returns. So it had to be cash only 

You've met Jimmyredcab then

[knightofthegarter]

Personally, I think Quesadilla raises some valid points. I think it demonstrates that there are many types of punter. To oversimplify though, we might say that there is the view as expressed by Quesadilla in this thread and the views as expressed by many of the married/attached members in this same thread. There seem to be however, definitely more posters on this site who fall into the second camp of punting while married/attached.

Everyone starts somewhere with this particular pastime and to begin with, will have no point of reference at all. I certainly don't talk about punting with my friends. Maybe a single newbie gets into this hobby, sees this site or something similar and comes to regard option 2 as a lifestyle inevitability that everybody does. He then finds himself in a relationship, has a punt and feels like shit afterwards because he hasn't given enough thought to how this fits with his own moral code. So it is good to see the other opinion being put forward.

About 4 or 5 years ago, my then girlfriend lived a two hour drive away and I didn't see her as often as I would have liked. I got totally pissed at the pub one Friday night and in my drunkenness decided an impromptu restart to my punting career was a great idea. I soon regretted it and my own personal guilt more or less finished the relationship within the next few months, though I never told my ex and she never found out. I learnt that the whole deception thing was something I personally cannot deal with and that it was better for me to keep this as a hobby for when I'm single. I know there must be many more with similar thoughts who just don't post. Having read some of the married posts on this site in general though, I do acknowledge that some of the situations described do sound very difficult indeed.

I am not judging anybody and have been happy to take on board the knowledge of all kinds of punter on this site and am happy to share what little knowledge I have regardless of anyone's opinions. I have been in situations where I knew someone who was cheating on their partner and I have never intervened because I took the view that it was not my place to get involved. Really I am just saying that if you break your own moral code, you will feel like shit, I am not trying to argue for a specific moral point.

[Quesadilla]

Personally, I think Quesadilla raises some valid points. I think it demonstrates that there are many types of punter. To oversimplify though, we might say that there is the view as expressed by Quesadilla in this thread and the views as expressed by many of the married/attached members in this same thread. There seem to be however, definitely more posters on this site who fall into the second camp of punting while married/attached.

Everyone starts somewhere with this particular pastime and to begin with, will have no point of reference at all. I certainly don't talk about punting with my friends. Maybe a single newbie gets into this hobby, sees this site or something similar and comes to regard option 2 as a lifestyle inevitability that everybody does. He then finds himself in a relationship, has a punt and feels like shit afterwards because he hasn't given enough thought to how this fits with his own moral code. So it is good to see the other opinion being put forward.

About 4 or 5 years ago, my then girlfriend lived a two hour drive away and I didn't see her as often as I would have liked. I got totally pissed at the pub one Friday night and in my drunkenness decided an impromptu restart to my punting career was a great idea. I soon regretted it and my own personal guilt more or less finished the relationship within the next few months, though I never told my ex and she never found out. I learnt that the whole deception thing was something I personally cannot deal with and that it was better for me to keep this as a hobby for when I'm single. I know there must be many more with similar thoughts who just don't post. Having read some of the married posts on this site in general though, I do acknowledge that some of the situations described do sound very difficult indeed.

I am not judging anybody and have been happy to take on board the knowledge of all kinds of punter on this site and am happy to share what little knowledge I have regardless of anyone's opinions. I have been in situations where I knew someone who was cheating on their partner and I have never intervened because I took the view that it was not my place to get involved. Really I am just saying that if you break your own moral code, you will feel like shit, I am not trying to argue for a specific moral point.

+1 clearly could not say it better myself. 

[smiths]

This is precisely the problem.

Suddenly paying for things in cash that you've otherwise done on a card is going to be noticed. Supermarket cash back is easy but a pack of sandwiches, a drink and 100 quid from Tesco can't happen too often. Suddenly offering to do the weekly shop is going to be highly suspicious. Whenever I ask in petrol stations they just mumble about there being a cash point outside, so back to square one with that one.

Spot on which is why i posted its got to be believable to your wife or partner. Golf is a great way of me getting away for hours but i have been playing Golf for years genuinely, that really helps greatly.