Massage parlour etiquette

[Johnbean]

Hello all, nearly ten years punting and never used a massage shop with happy ending.

I've seen a couple reported on here and am most intrigued. Would some of you veterans mind giving a newbie a few tips please?
I don't want to roll over with a stonk on and get beaten up by a pissed off Chinese lady. Also could anyone please message me the names and details? Please and thank you!

[a10]

Certainly officer, can you just let us know which Constabulary you operate in so we can cut down on your patrol distance? 

[Johnbean]

  I'm not police but I have a throbbing truncheon and I'm from just outside Norwich. It's a place called imreallybloodyhornyandwanttobewankedoffbyachineseprossie. Have you heard of it? I would just like to make sure the place I'm thinking of is correct and if you ask for HR or if it's offered!