I'd be amazed if she was fucking someone else but not totally surprised. I've often thought someone else must be shagging her hence her not wanting the schlong
There is one upside of the OH getting some action. She's far less likely to check up on your activities. Otherwise her questions will invariably lead to the same from you. I've got the t-shirt on this
On balance then i'm sure that if it all came out in the wash then she would be more horrified with your activities. And then i'll be the whole women thing whereby if they find out that some bloke has been paying for sex then they go into group defence mode with all their friends. They start talking about catching stuff [when in reality this is much less likely than with shagging civvies. 'Yeah - we definitely used condoms'. Total bollocks - maybe on the 1st time]. Have seen this happen to some bloke who the women knew - fortunately i didn't. Still got the question - do you pay for sex ? I laughed it off & said he was a sad twat & probably ugly / desperate. Seemed to do the trick
I hope that this never happens to you, or my 'mates' on UKP . If it does then no matter what the temptation - do not mention that you have become an accomplished & respected author in certain circles ! Or she will turn into more of a CUNT
The dead-cert way to tell that such a woman has been shagging someone else is that they suddenly start to want sex again. Probably means that they have been dumped - or decided to knock it on the head. Whatever - she stops & you don't. She might even start making some effort. Which could be good in that in all probability this will cut down on the number of punts overall. This will save money which means it can be spent going with Gold Standard girlies only, or having extended time with the same ones that are normally on the HL. The above is IMO only - i can't get it totally wrong though