Secret Benefits as an Alternative to Seeking Arrangements

[Mr Sinister]

after which she asked me to pay an urgent bill without meeting, and when I declined, said I was "tight fisted" and blocked me on whatsapp.

There are girls out there who will try their luck or are just looking to scam unfortunately there are guys out there who are stupid enough to fall for it, I had the old deposit scam thrown at me the other day, said no then got radio silence.

[Cunning Punt]

I've connected better with 2 older women on the site but I'm not paying huge PPM prices for someone my own age, I don't mind taking them out on a date and paying for it, but that would really be it with such a woman.

Lots of messages from pretty females with no more than a "hi" who then don't respond if you unlock and reply back, making you wonder if there are fake accounts on there that get you to open the message to take your credits.

Indeed. The reason we pay is to meet pretty young things we haven't got a hope in hell of pulling in real life.

I've been contacted by a few mature SBs not much younger than myself over the years, and my response is I'm happy to meet up to see if there is chemistry and while I'm obviously happy to pay all costs, I wouldn't be providing an allowance. Some get arsey, ie I should know what SA is ie a sugarbaby site, to which my reply is basically: Why would a guy pay for something he can, with effort, get for free in real life? And yes this is a site for sugarbabies, and you're not really one. Try someone in their 60s or 70s. 

And, yes, one very rarely gets anywhere with girls who just say 'hi'. I did once with a 18-yr-o but she wasn't particularly attractive and the experience was fairly average.

[NightKid]

And, yes, one very rarely gets anywhere with girls who just say 'hi'. I did once with a 18-yr-o but she wasn't particularly attractive and the experience was fairly average.

I think it varies. In my experience, a lot of the 'hi' girls turn out to be semi pros and they're usually the easiest group/type to arrange something with.

[lillythesavage]

One to warn you about who was called "dress4u", got to get her details on whatsapp and her "I was seeing someone who paid me £300 a date but went abroad" got a reply of my previous arrangement being for less and her saying "that would be ok" after which she asked me to pay an urgent bill without meeting, and when I declined, said I was "tight fisted" and blocked me on whatsapp.

Of course we know it was probably a scam and she had no intention to ever meet, certainly not at the new "agreed" lower rate, just take money for things, and probably does the same with loads of guys.

I've connected better with 2 older women on the site but I'm not paying huge PPM prices for someone my own age, I don't mind taking them out on a date and paying for it, but that would really be it with such a woman.

Lots of messages from pretty females with no more than a "hi" who then don't respond if you unlock and reply back, making you wonder if there are fake accounts on there that get you to open the message to take your credits.

Whatever platform you use there will be scams, every single one of them, just part of life these days, the one word or even one line replies are going to be hard work so rarely follow them up.

If they cannot string a short paragraph together it says, shy, not sure or no personality to me, while I am not looking for pros, who are there on most platforms too, a little education and personality can be read into an email.

I mentioned on another thread an interesting reply to me, to which I took some time to reply well to, she sent her number straight away. Had a couple of phone chats and met blind. What a good decision that was.

[qwertyone]

I joined secret benefits but didn't fill out my profile or upload any pictures etc.

had over 100 messages from girls (to my empty profile) haven't paid to read any

I think I'll delete my account and make a new one with the profile and pictures etc. to start fresh.... no-one messaging an empty profile can be serious?


EDIT:  p.s. love the verifications videos etc.... too many girls look crazy hot in their photos but it's just the filters... check the videos and they're stinkers :-o

[subsurface]

That is some great success!  Any tips on how to vet through the SBs to filter out time wasters?

My check list:
1. Check location - emails from anyone far away (like Liverpool when I'm in Surrey - or even London as I cant be arsed travelling) - delete.
2. If local enough, check profile - look for women who want meets / casual fun etc... anyone after dinner, walks, travel and romance -delete.
3. Did they view my profile, have they favourited me.
4. If all of the above I will open the mail and see what they say. (after all the deletes its not that many,I jumped on a special offer for 1000 credits so have them to burn).

After my 2 initial sucesses I tried emailing a bunch of likely women, with pretty much zero results, most went unanswered or unread even. So I tarted up my profile, made it more personable and added  a couple of pics to secret gallery - saying in profile pics available on request.

Since doing that I have made 2 more connections, both approached me (I followed my "process") - one I'm seeing tomorrow and the other next week! So now I dont go out looking, happy to see what comes my way and hopefully 2 of the 4 become regulars or I rotate between them all - I may soon have more supply than demand :-) - Given I only started on SB about 6 weeks ago-ish its been pretty full on (3 meets done, 2 scheduled, both originals up for repeats (as am I) ).

For me still way better than AW - I met one of my original contacts for 2nd time yesterday, 2 hours + for £150 and a lovely relaxed time, there is more feeling and passion than I thought I'd get. Yes I do chat with all 4 on whatsapp (archived out the way). My needs are not necessarily everyones - I prefer girl next door / young mum to model looks, so maybe Im fishing in a less frequented pond :-)

[Razpunt]

For me still way better than AW - I met one of my original contacts for 2nd time yesterday, 2 hours + for £150 and a lovely relaxed time, there is more feeling and passion than I thought I'd get. Yes I do chat with all 4 on whatsapp (archived out the way). My needs are not necessarily everyones - I prefer girl next door / young mum to model looks, so maybe Im fishing in a less frequented pond :-)

Well done!

I had created an account on secret benefits long ago just out of curiosity but did not really engage there. Since weekend, on spur and with some inspiration from this thread I started to vet some profiles on SB.

In span of 2 days, I had chat with four girls - 1st is a young kid who seem to be mostly time waster for me, 2nd was a cute lady but asking for "proof" with a gift from her Amazon wishlist to even discuss any arrangement, 3rd is an average girl with whom I am chatting on whatsapp, and the 4th was a stunning 22 year old, hippie-looking girl whom I met last night.

I am quite surprised with the level of success I got in two days and with just 100 credits on SB. Maybe it is beginner`s luck! 

The girl I met last night was a sexy looking girl, we spent a couple of hours chatting, eating and sex. I did make some rookie mistakes - I felt I overpaid her at £250 and in the excitement to meet her I forgot to ask her about the sexual services she offers. During the session, she told me she does not do OWO, only OW. Though other part of the sex was nice (what an ass view during doggie ), I love OWO and OW does not work much for me, so was disappointed with that. Personality wise I could not connect much with her, she was quite dumb. Overall, it was an average session. As I could not host, had to book a hotel, so in the end was not entirely a VFM for me. The upside was that it was not a rushed meet, a girl I would never score in real life, and a new experience.

The other girl I am chatting currently with has agreed for 150 PPM, she seems to be nice and is making an effort to have some connect. I might meet her in a week or two. This time I will make sure to discuss on the services to offer.

It is too early to say, but personally I do not see using secret benefits further at the moment, mainly because of my inconvenient personal circumstances. Now, I could spend time on SB because my wife is abroad for a couple of months but when she is back it will be difficult to be away from home for long hours without raising suspicion (I work from home). I find the process of booking a hotel, travelling there a bit tedious and risk of leaving trails. I think it is a bit difficult to find a girl on SB who can host. Probably, it is more convenient to have a couple of escorts who provide great services for me of course the lack of passion is a bit of a compromise.

[Razpunt]

My check list:
1. Check location - emails from anyone far away (like Liverpool when I'm in Surrey - or even London as I cant be arsed travelling) - delete.
2. If local enough, check profile - look for women who want meets / casual fun etc... anyone after dinner, walks, travel and romance -delete.
3. Did they view my profile, have they favourited me.
4. If all of the above I will open the mail and see what they say. (after all the deletes its not that many,I jumped on a special offer for 1000 credits so have them to burn).

Thanks for the tips. I more or less followed similar approach!

[Home Alone]

Indeed. The reason we pay is to meet pretty young things we haven't got a hope in hell of pulling in real life.

I've been contacted by a few mature SBs not much younger than myself over the years, and my response is I'm happy to meet up to see if there is chemistry and while I'm obviously happy to pay all costs, I wouldn't be providing an allowance. Some get arsey, ie I should know what SA is ie a sugarbaby site, to which my reply is basically: Why would a guy pay for something he can, with effort, get for free in real life? And yes this is a site for sugarbabies, and you're not really one. Try someone in their 60s or 70s. 

And, yes, one very rarely gets anywhere with girls who just say 'hi'. I did once with a 18-yr-o but she wasn't particularly attractive and the experience was fairly average.

Oi, Cunning Punt; a bit of respect for your elders!!

[lillythesavage]

Well done!

I had created an account on secret benefits long ago just out of curiosity but did not really engage there. Since weekend, on spur and with some inspiration from this thread I started to vet some profiles on SB.

In span of 2 days, I had chat with four girls - 1st is a young kid who seem to be mostly time waster for me, 2nd was a cute lady but asking for "proof" with a gift from her Axxxxxx wishlist to even discuss any arrangement, 3rd is an average girl with whom I am chatting on whatsapp, and the 4th was a stunning 22 year old, hippie-looking girl whom I met last night.

I am quite surprised with the level of success I got in two days and with just 100 credits on SB. Maybe it is beginner`s luck! 

The girl I met last night was a sexy looking girl, we spent a couple of hours chatting, eating and sex. I did make some rookie mistakes - I felt I overpaid her at £250 and in the excitement to meet her I forgot to ask her about the sexual services she offers. During the session, she told me she does not do OWO, only OW. Though other part of the sex was nice (what an ass view during doggie ), I love OWO and OW does not work much for me, so was disappointed with that. Personality wise I could not connect much with her, she was quite dumb. Overall, it was an average session. As I could not host, had to book a hotel, so in the end was not entirely a VFM for me. The upside was that it was not a rushed meet, a girl I would never score in real life, and a new experience.

The other girl I am chatting currently with has agreed for 150 PPM, she seems to be nice and is making an effort to have some connect. I might meet her in a week or two. This time I will make sure to discuss on the services to offer.

It is too early to say, but personally I do not see using secret benefits further at the moment, mainly because of my inconvenient personal circumstances. Now, I could spend time on SB because my wife is abroad for a couple of months but when she is back it will be difficult to be away from home for long hours without raising suspicion (I work from home). I find the process of booking a hotel, travelling there a bit tedious and risk of leaving trails. I think it is a bit difficult to find a girl on SB who can host. Probably, it is more convenient to have a couple of escorts who provide great services for me of course the lack of passion is a bit of a compromise.

Not beginners luck at all, it is very much about how you come across in first contact, and subsequently, the AW mindset will get you nowhere, going straight to services and money will backfire on you, even those with very restricted services will go further in a first or second meet if they feel comfortable with you. It means you are actually turning them on sexually and mentally and where the more passionate meets come from.

The AW mindset, of picking someone on pictures and body type does not work either, you have to be flexible and decide on the info you are given, I have learned that my previous preference for South Asian women was in my head, and this giving me opportunities to meet others for not a great deal of money, I discovered they are not really the best choice , harder to find and others are much more suited to me.

I have also learned that personality matches make for much better sex, not something you really get a chance to know in 30 or 60 minutes and a text booking, and I like all sorts of body types, never too old to learn

[Home Alone]

Not beginners luck at all, it is very much about how you come across in first contact, and subsequently, the AW mindset will get you nowhere, going straight to services and money will backfire on you, even those with very restricted services will go further in a first or second meet if they feel comfortable with you. It means you are actually turning them on sexually and mentally and where the more passionate meets come from.

The AW mindset, of picking someone on pictures and body type does not work either, you have to be flexible and decide on the info you are given, I have learned that my previous preference for South Asian women was in my head, and this giving me opportunities to meet others for not a great deal of money, I discovered they are not really the best choice , harder to find and others are much more suited to me.

I have also learned that personality matches make for much better sex, not something you really get a chance to know in 30 or 60 minutes and a text booking, and I like all sorts of body types, never too old to learn

A bit like dating in Civvy Street, then. Where you - I! - look for areas of compatibility with the female of the species.

[Mr Sinister]

The girl I met last night was a sexy looking girl, we spent a couple of hours chatting, eating and sex. I did make some rookie mistakes - I felt I overpaid her at £250 and in the excitement to meet her I forgot to ask her about the sexual services she offers. During the session, she told me she does not do OWO, only OW.

Price, ask what they are looking for and work from there it's so easy to blurt out the first price that comes into your head even if the girl is attractive don't overvalue her, had a girl ask me for £250 once I got her down to half of that, you have to remember most of these girls aren't pros and so don't treat them as such.

Services I never discuss as said you need to put that AW mentality to the side you'll be building something much more intimate with the girl lean more to the side of what are and aren't you comfortable with. At most I've gotten is no anal, spitting, pissing etc along those lines.

[Mr_Shins]

Tell them you had an arrangement once before (even if you didn't) and the price you think you should pay.

I'm meeting one of the ladies from the site tomorrow. One who is relatively close to my own age and not "that" attractive, but I'll see how we get on. No discussion of any kind of money or allowance, nor do I have any plans to give her one. If I continue to see this woman it will be on a no-strings social / friendship basis and that's all I am willing to offer her. I don't expect any sex, but I have Melysa for that anyway, but I can't take Melysa out on social dates without paying her full escort price, and I'm not willing to do that either, so this way I may get all I need.

[stampjones]

Services I never discuss as said you need to put that AW mentality to the side you'll be building something much more intimate with the girl lean more to the side of what are and aren't you comfortable with. At most I've gotten is no anal, spitting, pissing etc along those lines.

I totally agree that its not like AW but that doesnt mean you cant discuss what sexual preferences you both have. You just have to do it in a way that doesnt come across as a list of services you expect. And obviously you have to deal with the possibility that on any given day she wont want to do something. Like you say its a different game to AW and you need a different mentality.

[Natwest]

I totally agree that its not like AW but that doesnt mean you cant discuss what sexual preferences you both have. You just have to do it in a way that doesnt come across as a list of services you expect. And obviously you have to deal with the possibility that on any given day she wont want to do something. Like you say its a different game to AW and you need a different mentality.

I tend to approach it tactfully by asking what they don't like in the bedroom rather than what they do like. Favourites for not liking are usually anal and swallowing. I did have one almost ready to go until she dropped the bombshells she didn't suck cock. Needless to say, I didn't pursue.

[stampjones]

I tend to approach it tactfully by asking what they don't like in the bedroom rather than what they do like. Favourites for not liking are usually anal and swallowing. I did have one almost ready to go until she dropped the bombshells she didn't suck cock. Needless to say, I didn't pursue.

Yeah exactly - its not difficult

[Razpunt]

I have also learned that personality matches make for much better sex, not something you really get a chance to know in 30 or 60 minutes and a text booking, and I like all sorts of body types, never too old to learn

I totally agree on this, it was a bit of learning curve. All the romanian and brazilian encounters taught me well! 

[Razpunt]

Price, ask what they are looking for and work from there it's so easy to blurt out the first price that comes into your head even if the girl is attractive don't overvalue her, had a girl ask me for £250 once I got her down to half of that, you have to remember most of these girls aren't pros and so don't treat them as such.

Services I never discuss as said you need to put that AW mentality to the side you'll be building something much more intimate with the girl lean more to the side of what are and aren't you comfortable with. At most I've gotten is no anal, spitting, pissing etc along those lines.

Yeah I did this with the second girl I am chatting and managed to get her 150 PPM, though she is not a stunner, she seems to have a nice personality.

[Razpunt]

I tend to approach it tactfully by asking what they don't like in the bedroom rather than what they do like. Favourites for not liking are usually anal and swallowing. I did have one almost ready to go until she dropped the bombshells she didn't suck cock. Needless to say, I didn't pursue.

I am trying to do this now with the one I am chatting. I ask her what her romantic preferences are, etc. and eventually get a chance to know how open she is in bed.

[lillythesavage]

A bit like dating in Civvy Street, then. Where you - I! - look for areas of compatibility with the female of the species.

Yes basically, but with services and money discussions thrown in at the right time, for a start they all speak and write English, and sometimes there is a lot more fun than just sex to be had, if you click that is, and the sex is much better because of it.

Compatibility is a good word to describe things, if you are compatible sex can be amazing, and as I seem to be compatible with young black and mixed race women that is where I tend to end up. Not where I started looking at all, but where this took me, and very happy it did.

Like others have said a learning curve, and if you are open to learning too, then it can take you places you never thought it would especially if you give off a good vibe of trust and discretion.

[AW71]

For years I managed to keep “Seeking Arrangements” going but got myself banned a few months ago. I was also on “What’s Your Price” and at the time of banning had just taken up a special offer buying a shed load of credits. Consequently I decided to reclaim from my credit card company and since that time, “Seeking” has thwarted every attempt by me to get back on. Clearly claiming the money back upset them an awful lot. Let’s face it, “Seeking” has got quite expensive over the years and whilst it is undoubtedly the best, you do have to tread increasingly carefully it seems to remain a member. So, I decided to try a couple of alternatives. I already wrote an article on my use of Tinder which is posted in Off Topic.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=308027.0

But I have now spent a bit of time on “Secret Benefits” and thought it might be useful to share my experience of that site and the relevant advantages and disadvantages.
 
My first subscription to “Secret Benefits”  set me back around £125 ($169) for 500 credits and finding my way on the site cost me financially enough that in the end it was not dissimilar to “Seeking Arrangements” in price. In other words, I used up all my credits in about 6 weeks. As to success, well I met three people in the first month. First was just a meet and greet. We drove around a bit, got on quite well but for all sorts of complicated reasons, I sensed she could have some troubling baggage attached to her and unless I could get her for a low PPM I wouldn’t take it any further. As it was I made her an offer, she declined it and I haven’t followed up. I then met another girl who came back to my place for £170. The sex was pretty good but her company was downright boring and as I had to drive 40 miles to pick her up, I didn’t go for a repeat. The third was very promising. We agreed to just do a meet and greet and she came back to my flat for a bite to eat. We ended up in a passionate embrace with me going down on her in the bedroom. She was hot enough that I managed some very respectable moves even though I hadn’t taken a little blue pill. I drove her home and we agreed to text to work something out financially. Unfortunately she was looking for £300 ppm and I wasn’t willing to go that high. So that was it.
 
Let me explain how the credit system works. It costs 10 credits to start a conversation. So every time you contact someone you are spending £2.50. I subsequently discovered that when an SB creates their profile they HAVE to have a private gallery as part of it. Often unlike “Seeking” this means that you aren’t going to find anything particularly saucy. To look at a private gallery costs the same as starting a conversation. They also try other ways to get you to spend your credits such as notification a message has been read. These can all be avoided. I have opened two private galleries and both were a waste of time. I now do not bother on any occasion.
 
The psychological problem of credits is that for every conversation that goes nowhere, it has a financial cost. And you can’t avoid feeling miffed. With “Seeking” you never think at the end of a bad day where you don’t get anywhere, that has cost me £3. And in fact the ability to contact hundreds of girls over a month and still not get anywhere somehow seems you have had more fun on “Seeking” even if you have no results. When my first lot of credits ran out I was really in two minds whether to renew. “Secret Benefits”, having seen my credits were low started to then offer me better deals. In the end I purchased 2000 credits for £210. So the cost now of starting a conversation was just over £1. I took this offer out on 9th June and have so far used 130 credits so the cost to me for 20 days has therefore been around £14.
 
There is a massive difference between customer support on “Secret Benefits” and “Seeking”. It is worth looking on Trust Pilot to see how they score against “Seeking” and indeed on other review sites. I have had credits refunded on several occasions and in the early days when I was finding my feet and getting nowhere I probably received back around 200 credits. You will be shocked at the quality and responsiveness of their customer support. It is excellent. The other big difference is message content. Whilst I am “Seeking” trained and therefore careful what I say, I have not even had a sniff of trouble even though some conversations have gone far beyond what I would have written on “Seeking”.
 
If you aren’t going to spend a fortune or can’t afford to spend a fortune on “Secret Benefits” you really need to be much stricter with contact and be very much re - active rather than pro – active as on “Seeking”. Not one conversation where I have spent credits to initiate it has got anywhere. So I never start a conversation, I wait to be approached. If I see someone has messaged me, before I spend the credits I check several things. Firstly are they in my area? I get loads from Manchester where I am 99% sure it will be a scam for me to send train fare, so I ignore. Secondly, are they showing as having visited my profile? If they have just “liked” me but not read, then they will show as having favorited me but not opened my profile. These I also ignore. Thirdly, do I like the look of the pictures and does their profile correspond with what I am looking for? If not, once more I delete the conversation. All I ever do pro-actively is “favourite” a profile that I would want to see. If she come back to me and starts a conversation, great. If not, she probably isn’t interested in me anyway. Again, I think the secret to “Secret Benefits” is do not make the first approach.
 
Ok, the pool around where I live, is a lot smaller than on “Seeking”. There are still scammers trying to get you to send money. However, reporting does lead to action and refund of credits. I know I have had months on “Seeking” that got nowhere but somehow lots of pointless activity with no results seems better value for money. It isn’t! but it seems that way. With Secret Benefits there is a lot of waiting around for something to happen.
 
As for writing your profile, again it requires a different approach. Mine is quite aggressive in stating all the things I am NOT looking for and making it clear that if an SB wants these sort of things do NOT contact me. It is all geared around trying very hard to not waste credits. One other quick thing that comes to mind is that the “Secret Benefits” site did go down for a while and unlike “Seeking” of course I had lost nothing as I still had my credits. I admit “Seeking” doesn’t go down as often as it used to but if it goes out for 24 hours, you don’t get a day added to your subscription.
 
If I had scored a hot 20 something on “Secret Benefits” and was having regular sexual PPM meets for £150 I would be absolutely singing its praises. I haven’t. But in all of last year and being subscribed for 4 months on “Seeking” I only made two good contacts, though one turned into a freebie and she is still emblazoned in my wank bank. With my credits remaining on “Secret Benefits, I can make another 187 conversations. Now I have become wise to the site and using it more carefully, I imagine I could make my credits last for around 6 months. That makes my cost £35 per month. Not trying to sell the site and there is nothing in it for me. But there are alternatives to “Seeking”. If I could get back on “Seeking”, would I ditch “Secret Benefits”? I certainly spend less time on “Secret Benefits” and the reason for that is as we all know, you have to work bloody hard on “Seeking” to get results, it’s a very low conversion rate. With “Secret Benefits” you are a bit like the spider with the web, you just sit and wait in the corner for someone to get trapped. Then it’s a case of successfully stopping them getting free and buzzing off!

One final thought and this is very much a positive for "Secret Benefits". Last year in my time on "Seeking" I did meet two very high quality SB's. I continued to see them over several months. However, I could not suspend my "Seeking" subscription, it just ticked away until it ran out. If I meet someone in the next few weeks on "Secret Benefits", my credits remain until such time I decide I want more variety or I want to ditch the SB and find another one. That is a distinct advantage, though I readily admit I still need to get into that position for it to be an advantage.

May I ask how you get banned from SA? Just so I don't do it. Apologies if you have explained elsewhere.

[lillythesavage]

I tend to approach it tactfully by asking what they don't like in the bedroom rather than what they do like. Favourites for not liking are usually anal and swallowing. I did have one almost ready to go until she dropped the bombshells she didn't suck cock. Needless to say, I didn't pursue.

Said this before, if most things seem suitable, why knock it back for one thing? Half the battle is getting to meet and not once has anyone stuck to original discussion, sorry, once, and that was a one off freebie car meet arranged quickly, it is not aw and a services menu, and you never know what they will do until you meet.

I once met a married Asian, said she had never sucked cock and never would, she did and off her own back, not a word or direction from me, and very nice it was too.

[Natwest]

Said this before, if most things seem suitable, why knock it back for one thing? Half the battle is getting to meet and not once has anyone stuck to original discussion, sorry, once, and that was a one off freebie car meet arranged quickly, it is not aw and a services menu, and you never know what they will do until you meet.

I once met a married Asian, said she had never sucked cock and never would, she did and off her own back, not a word or direction from me, and very nice it was too.

Fro the message exchange there was obviously more to it than just she didn't do it, believe me. I heard some warning bells in what she told me and I wanted sex, not to potentially offer therapy

[Mr Sinister]

Said this before, if most things seem suitable, why knock it back for one thing? Half the battle is getting to meet and not once has anyone stuck to original discussion, sorry, once, and that was a one off freebie car meet arranged quickly, it is not aw and a services menu, and you never know what they will do until you meet.

I once met a married Asian, said she had never sucked cock and never would, she did and off her own back, not a word or direction from me, and very nice it was too.

I would say for me sucking dick is a non-negotiable so if the girl says she doesn't do it I'm not going to gamble she might have a change of heart in the flesh. I could make an exemption but she would have to have an amazing figure, some large chebs so at least it can sort of make up for no BJ.

As you know sometimes you don't know what you're initially going to get. 

[Cunning Punt]

Oi, Cunning Punt; a bit of respect for your elders!!

I have plenty of respect for my elders.    The point is the differential. It's a sugardating site and a woman who is a similar age to me isn't a sugarbaby for me, but would be for an older guy. Similarly, a guy on the site aged 30 (there are some on SA albeit not many) could tell a SB around his age to try a SD in his late 40s/early 50s.

[Cunning Punt]

nor do I have any plans to give her one.

Well, I know you're not fussed about sex with her but hope you do nonetheless. 

[lillythesavage]

I would say for me sucking dick is a non-negotiable so if the girl says she doesn't do it I'm not going to gamble she might have a change of heart in the flesh. I could make an exemption but she would have to have an amazing figure, some large chebs so at least it can sort of make up for no BJ.

As you know sometimes you don't know what you're initially going to get. 

Yep, I know that well , Stevie Wonder punts.

[lillythesavage]

Fro the message exchange there was obviously more to it than just she didn't do it, believe me. I heard some warning bells in what she told me and I wanted sex, not to potentially offer therapy

That makes more sense, warning bells should not be ignored, was having a great chat with one on Whatapp, game on that evening until she sent a pic, nothing wrong with her at all, right up my street, only it came from a different number, and the profile pic was a big white guy, boots and wax jacket with a great big German Shepherd looking very pissed off in the rain.

Not ideal for a foursome

[Fabaceous]

An interesting thread, Thanks for starting it off @Natwest.
I was a regular on SA but came off 2 years ago.
Natwest said:
"As for writing your profile, again it requires a different approach. Mine is quite aggressive in stating all the things I am NOT looking for and making it clear that if an SB wants these sort of things do NOT contact me. It is all geared around trying very hard to not waste credits."
Could anyone please show an example of their profile wording?
Thanks
Fab

[Natwest]

An interesting thread, Thanks for starting it off @Natwest.
I was a regular on SA but came off 2 years ago.
Natwest said:
"As for writing your profile, again it requires a different approach. Mine is quite aggressive in stating all the things I am NOT looking for and making it clear that if an SB wants these sort of things do NOT contact me. It is all geared around trying very hard to not waste credits."
Could anyone please show an example of their profile wording?
Thanks
Fab

Here are a couple of lines from my profile.

"Relaxing fun, no drama, nights in and out. Not a fan of tattoos but a few discrete one's won't put me off. NOT looking for platonic, online or just meeting for coffee/shopping/dinner dates or buying photos."

"And if you message me and consistently answer with one or two word answers, why would I want to meet you if you can't hold a decent conversation? Be happy to make an effort to show this is something you might enjoy or do not contact me!!!"

I am at last making some headway on this site and so far the last two months have cost me less than £20. Will report back some time over the next week or so.

[Fabaceous]

Here are a couple of lines from my profile.

"Relaxing fun, no drama, nights in and out. Not a fan of tattoos but a few discrete one's won't put me off. NOT looking for platonic, online or just meeting for coffee/shopping/dinner dates or buying photos."

"And if you message me and consistently answer with one or two word answers, why would I want to meet you if you can't hold a decent conversation? Be happy to make an effort to show this is something you might enjoy or do not contact me!!!"

I am at last making some headway on this site and so far the last two months have cost me less than £20. Will report back some time over the next week or so.

Thanks - very helpful.
I will give it a go & report back here:-)
Fab

[peestee]

So I have signed up on SB and WYP after this post.

First of all I can second that, their customer service is spot on, quick and want to help.

I paid for the lowest package just to test the water and a bit later I accidentaly bought another package, as the box was ticked where it says use the same card, so when you just press a package it makes the payment automatically! So be aware!

I have emailed them and now I am waiting for my refund, the whole process was less then 24 hrs.

I tried to follow the recommendations, messaged only the girls who are close and checked my profile but from 6 I had only two replies.

So annoying.

Worth to contact the customer service regarding this or just leave it?

WYP

I havent bought credit yet, as had a few offers only and not convinced.

[GingerNuts]

So I have signed up on SB and WYP after this post.

First of all I can second that, their customer service is spot on, quick and want to help.

I paid for the lowest package just to test the water and a bit later I accidentaly bought another package, as the box was ticked where it says use the same card, so when you just press a package it makes the payment automatically! So be aware!

I have emailed them and now I am waiting for my refund, the whole process was less then 24 hrs.

I tried to follow the recommendations, messaged only the girls who are close and checked my profile but from 6 I had only two replies.

So annoying.

Worth to contact the customer service regarding this or just leave it?

WYP

I havent bought credit yet, as had a few offers only and not convinced.

You're considering contacting customer service because four out of six didn't reply to you? Surely that's just par for the course.

[peestee]

You're considering contacting customer service because four out of six didn't reply to you? Surely that's just par for the course.

I think that’s what I read in the original post, you “can” request credit back because of bots. I dont mind, it’s not the end of the world

[GingerNuts]

I think that’s what I read in the original post, you “can” request credit back because of bots. I dont mind, it’s not the end of the world

Something of that kind but you have to expect a lot of non-replies even from genuine members.

[peestee]

Something of that kind but you have to expect a lot of non-replies even from genuine members.

Of course! Just it is from girls that messaged me first. But thats life I guess

[Natwest]

You're considering contacting customer service because four out of six didn't reply to you? Surely that's just par for the course.

When I bought my first lot of credits, I was quite shocked how many girls wrote to me, I replied and then never heard another thing. I did write to customer services and politely stated how I was disappointed and was not sure the site was for me with the poor "hit rate". They did on two occasions refund me a substantial amount of credits. I would also say without question, where any has been a potential scam such as asking for money up front or trying to sell videos or pictures, I have received back 100% of my credits.

After Seeking Arrangements the response from Customer Services is just incredible. Also content of messages has not been a problem either. I was very careful to start with, but now discussion of PPM has become quite normal and have not received so much as a warning. Have to say this site should take more people away from Seeking Arrangements than it does. It's what it should be like.

By the way, the last three months has cost me around £40 in credits and for that I have had one girl stay overnight for £200 and she is back this weekend and I have two more overnights lined up which of course could fall through. I bought a package when I renewed which gave me 2000 credits for around £210. Opening a conversation costs 10 credits which means I have used 350 credits in 3 months. I wasn't a fan of the credit system to start with but the greatest advantage is I can switch on and switch off my usage, hence my low cost over the last three months.

[peestee]

seem like SB does not work for me.

had favourited, messaged by locals. so opened the messages, replied and since then nothing happened. (like 5 or 6 profiles and all the same)

have some others from London, but do not want to open/reply as I am not from London, so not sure I want to talk to them.

weird, on SA has plenty of messages always.

or on SB it takes more time, waiting for replies for 3 days now?

[Natwest]

So I have signed up on SB and WYP after this post.

First of all I can second that, their customer service is spot on, quick and want to help.

I paid for the lowest package just to test the water and a bit later I accidentaly bought another package, as the box was ticked where it says use the same card, so when you just press a package it makes the payment automatically! So be aware!

I have emailed them and now I am waiting for my refund, the whole process was less then 24 hrs.

I tried to follow the recommendations, messaged only the girls who are close and checked my profile but from 6 I had only two replies.

So annoying.

Worth to contact the customer service regarding this or just leave it?

WYP

I havent bought credit yet, as had a few offers only and not convinced.

I started a conversation recently with a girl who contacted me initially, so it cost me 10 credits to read her message. It was a perfectly polite conversation but she blocked me after a couple of replies and the conversation disappeared from my Inbox. As I get an email whenever I get a message, I still had her details. I wrote to customer service about 3 hours ago to notify them and they just wrote back and refunded my credits. I think that is pretty fair.

As an aside, someone who I met on Seeking Arrangements contacted me a week ago after a row with her boyfriend. Since then she has been staying at my place and by the time she goes tomorrow she will have been there a week. So again, the great advantage I have over Seeking Arrangements is that all the conversations I have started are all there and I have turned the tap off regarding communicating with anyone else as obviously I can't follow through at the moment. In other words no monthly subscription ticking away.

[peestee]

Hats off SB customer service.

So I have spent like 2 weeks or maybe 3 weeks now on the site.


First I bought 100 credits and accidentaly another 200 (small box was ticked to use same card). Contacted them and had a refund.

With nearly zero luck- bought the smallest package, used it up to messaging potential SB-s but none of them replied after my reply (always let them message me first as suggested), so I told CS that I feel like they are fake accounts.

So they gave me another 100 credits to use.

But used up like 40 of it and the same, no replies as before. So contacted CS again and now they have refunded my initial payment.

So used up 140 credits for free however it did not lead to any success.

Reading area, with no luck but overall good feedback on them.

[Natwest]

Hats off SB customer service.

So I have spent like 2 weeks or maybe 3 weeks now on the site.


First I bought 100 credits and accidentaly another 200 (small box was ticked to use same card). Contacted them and had a refund.

With nearly zero luck- bought the smallest package, used it up to messaging potential SB-s but none of them replied after my reply (always let them message me first as suggested), so I told CS that I feel like they are fake accounts.

So they gave me another 100 credits to use.

But used up like 40 of it and the same, no replies as before. So contacted CS again and now they have refunded my initial payment.

So used up 140 credits for free however it did not lead to any success.

Reading area, with no luck but overall good feedback on them.

You certainly can't fault the customer service but it is true the pool is very small compared to Seeking Arrangements. Buying the package of credits was a heavy outlay (equivalent to 2.5 months subscription to Seeking) but when I reply to a message the first time, it only costs me around £1.10. It is more of a waiting game and if you seriously want to give it a try over a long period it might be worth trying to get a bargain package out of them. I can't remember the exact amount but I think I bought 2000 credits around middle of June for £210. I have now got 1590 left so have spent £45 in about 3 months. I have got out of that a regular who I pay £200 to stay the night but with financial circumstances and the luck of a few freebies from old Seeking contacts, I have had my foot off the gas. Again of course, that is the advantage of the credit system.

[peestee]

My account is still there with a few credits, and I have there a 2-3 women I’d love to meet if they are not fake accounts so will try to contact them, but will not top up for now I guess.

[Natwest]

My account is still there with a few credits, and I have there a 2-3 women I’d love to meet if they are not fake accounts so will try to contact them, but will not top up for now I guess.

My method is never to contact them. I "favourite" their profile to see if I get a reaction. But I never "cold call". Also I don't reply to a first message unless they are fanciable, close to me and have actually looked at my profile. At the beginning I spent credits approaching girls that hadn't contacted me and got zero success.

[peestee]

My method is never to contact them. I "favourite" their profile to see if I get a reaction. But I never "cold call". Also I don't reply to a first message unless they are fanciable, close to me and have actually looked at my profile. At the beginning I spent credits approaching girls that hadn't contacted me and got zero success.

Yep, I have followed your “rules” but still no luck..

[Straightsix]

Thanks for the write up OP. At least I know it's something I'm never going to consider. I just don't have and want the time for all that hassle and exploitation.
'I just want 15 minutes of your time. I don't want to do this but it's difficult to ignore the desire. Now, here's my money, take it. Bend over and let me hound you like an animal...and try not to talk to me but feel free to express yourself.
I'll close the door on the way out....bye'

[billybobsmith]

Yep, I have followed your “rules” but still no luck..

It's blind luck half the time.
There's always someone on here who can go onto Tinder etc. and get women falling over themselves to open their legs for them (or even actually chat to them!) even though they claim to be ugly, balding, fat, old etc.
Some people have limited success, others could target the entire female population in the UK and still have zero success regardless of how much effort was put in.
Well done to those who do have luck.

I've personally dabbled with a few sites, and had practically no success, so I'm not really willing to fork out something like £200-£300 for credits with my track record.  It's just money down the drain for me.
SA works for me, although very limited, and I'm not finding anyone on their who floats my boat quite the same as a few years ago (or isn't very hooker-ish)

[peestee]

It's blind luck half the time.
There's always someone on here who can go onto Tinder etc. and get women falling over themselves to open their legs for them (or even actually chat to them!) even though they claim to be ugly, balding, fat, old etc.
Some people have limited success, others could target the entire female population in the UK and still have zero success regardless of how much effort was put in.
Well done to those who do have luck.

I've personally dabbled with a few sites, and had practically no success, so I'm not really willing to fork out something like £200-£300 for credits with my track record.  It's just money down the drain for me.
SA works for me, although very limited, and I'm not finding anyone on their who floats my boat quite the same as a few years ago (or isn't very hooker-ish)

Exactly.

I had luck on SA but no luck at all on Tinder for example.
Now probably I will try WhatsYourPrice is as well, I have been contacted already but have not paid for any credits, want to see how many “options” I have before pay anything for the site.
Looks more promising so far as SB.

There is even one girl who I met let year from SA but after the first meet she decided not to meet because of my private situation but now she keep “poking” me on WYP. Looks like she does not have my number to text me, and I do not have hers haha

[Natwest]

Exactly.

I had luck on SA but no luck at all on Tinder for example.
Now probably I will try WhatsYourPrice is as well, I have been contacted already but have not paid for any credits, want to see how many “options” I have before pay anything for the site.
Looks more promising so far as SB.

There is even one girl who I met let year from SA but after the first meet she decided not to meet because of my private situation but now she keep “poking” me on WYP. Looks like she does not have my number to text me, and I do not have hers haha

I had some success on WYP but if you get banned on WYP, you get banned from Seeking Arrangements as a bonus at the same time.

[peestee]

I know, I will behave

[Sparta Prada]

I recently bemoaned on UKP that the quality of girls on Seeking seems to have dropped since I last had a paid subscription. I saw the Sugar Babies link on UKP and see it is for Secret Benefits. A search brought me to this thread, so thanks to the OP for the write up.

I created a profile but without any photos or much of a bio. I have received messages which I find weird considering there's nothing for the girl (if they are real and not bots) to really go on. I'm in 2 minds about making the step to buy the minimal credits which the OP said was roughly £125, although the fact these credits don't have an expiration date is a positive. While it's great that their customer service seems to provide top notch support, do I have the time and inclination to keep badgering them for refunds? In reality I suspect I don't.

At present you can get a month's premium membership on Seeking for £60 using the 33% off discount codes that are floating around. I am a lot more familiar with Seeking and have enjoyed decent success there previously. Seeking also appears to have a wider range of profiles, although as I said earlier the quality of girls does not seem to be as decent as before; far too many plain Janes on the site thinking they can get top dollar for online, platonic, meets, etc.

At present I'm inclined to subscribe to Seeking, but it's good to learn more about Secret Benefits. Thanks again to the OP.