Worst cum stains?

[sparkus]

An occasional hazard of visiting a TCM is the happy ending cum spurts that have landed on the wall or floor and haven't been cleaned up.  I've pulled women up about it but they always deny it and say it's just 'oil'.

That got me thinking, I've been in some rank brothels were there's been tell-tale stains on the bed sheets (Peaches in East London was gross, bed was covered in circles of white).  Must be others who can say the same?

[pvcman]

Curves Unlimited near Watford.

[sparkus]

The worst thing is, as teenagers we used to sing "Cum stains on the bedclothes, remind me baby of you" to 'Teardrops' by Womack and Womack at parties.

[Marmalade]

Just make sure the last Ines have dried before getting on the bed. 

[Blackpool Rock]

Not been myself but I punted an Indi in Preston who said she had done 1 shift at Barons and the 1st punter came all over the towel, after he had left she saw the maid to get the towel changed only to be told you only get 1 towel per shift 

[Pussydoc]

The worst thing is, as teenagers we used to sing "Cum stains on the bedclothes, remind me baby of you" to 'Teardrops' by Womack and Womack at parties.

I used to have a girl whose bed cover was covered I large stains , and over a few weeks the smell was like being in a sewer no windows  open a dirty nicks lying around 

[Marmalade]

I used to have a girl whose bed cover was covered I large stains , and over a few weeks the smell was like being in a sewer no windows  open a dirty nicks lying around 

And you kept going back?

If everything else was amazing (the girl's hygiene, looks, service, price) I'd have no problem. The smell's a bit iffy. But who was it?

[dino1990]

Yesterday I saw a girl and she had a pile off
Wet wipes and and used condoms in the corner off the room.

She just threw my filled condom and wipes to add to the pile. Lol

[Watts.E.Dunn]

She just threw my filled condom and wipes to add to the pile. Lol

A bit gross!, mind you i'm not adverse to looking in the pedal  bin in the bathroom to gauge the amount of trade shes done today seem there is a connection less detritus better performance;!

[bigmanbigman]

Yesterday I saw a girl and she had a pile off
Wet wipes and and used condoms in the corner off the room.

She just threw my filled condom and wipes to add to the pile. Lol

busy girl ??

[shagmore]

What about when you shoot your load and it goes over the WG, but the initial spurt lands in her hair, and she is unaware of this. Do you tell her. Last time I didn't - am I bad 

[sparkus]

She just threw my filled condom and wipes to add to the pile. Lol

A bit gross!, mind you i'm not adverse to looking in the pedal  bin in the bathroom to gauge the amount of trade shes done today seem there is a connection less detritus better performance;!

Yes, I do this too.

I was grossed when an otherwise quite decent Chinese girl spat in a bin after OW.

Leaving cum in hair - These's Something About Mary alert.

[munterhunter]

Don't know about brothels but the worst cum stains I've ever heard of are the ones Bill Clinton left on Monica Lewinsky's dress.

[Mkdng]

Don't know about brothels but the worst cum stains I've ever heard of are the ones Bill Clinton left on Monica Lewinsky's dress.

Cock-a-leekie soup 

[joe diddley]

Have often left a few last drops on the shag pile.

"No matter how you shake your peg,
The last few drops run down your leg"

[pewpewpew]

With towels in TCM shops I always assume they do the underwear check. Throw it against the wall, if it sticks it's time to turn it inside out

[sparkus]

Have often left a few last drops on the shag pile.

"No matter how you shake your peg,
The last few drops run down your leg"

Oh yes.  Sod beds, living room carpets were made for women to lay back on.

[myothernameis]

What about when you shoot your load and it goes over the WG, but the initial spurt lands in her hair, and she is unaware of this. Do you tell her. Last time I didn't - am I bad 

I did this last month, didn't mean to shoot my load so far, but was aiming for her stomach, but it was one hell of a spurt, landing on her face, eyes and hair, and she doesn't even do cim, or cof 

[sparkus]

I did this last month, didn't mean to shoot my load so far, but was aiming for her stomach, but it was one hell of a spurt, landing on her face, eyes and hair, and she doesn't even do cim, or cof 

I mentioned in a review but there was a priceless incident where a girl was giving a reluctant HE (as she had a boyfriend) and it fired into her eye, causing her to run out screaming.

[joe diddley]

Oh yes.  Sod beds, living room carpets were made for women to lay back on.

It's not called shag pile for nothing.

(Actually in the cases I was referring to it's when I've done the deed on the bed, and then stood up next to it with my last two or three globules of love custard dripping onto the Wilton. Luckily these 'accidents' haven't been seen by any of the girls in question.)

[joe diddley]

I mentioned in a review but there was a priceless incident where a girl was giving a reluctant HE (as she had a boyfriend) and it fired into her eye, causing her to run out screaming.

I'm reliably told that spunk in your peepers actually stings quite a bit. Some girls are happy to take a facial but are careful to avoid the old King Harold shot if possible.

[joe diddley]

Just to add that I remember reading one review in which the punter, having shot his load and seen the girl run off to the bathroom, wiped himself off on one of the bedroom curtains!

[sparkus]

It's not called shag pile for nothing.

(Actually in the cases I was referring to it's when I've done the deed on the bed, and then stood up next to it with my last two or three globules of love custard dripping onto the Wilton. Luckily these 'accidents' haven't been seen by any of the girls in question.)

I know exactly what you mean.

I've drenched white pile carpets in my time in the knowledge that parents will never see or detect it (in case anyone wonders, this was a long time ago, I've not shagged any teens at their home recently).

[nten]

Started with cowboy with a Brighton WG then wanted to get behind her to see her great ass, all well but after just a couple of pumps the worst smell started wafting up, mix of unwashed pussy and farts. Even once I got her into missionary I couldn't get the smell out of my nose.

[nigel4498]

Just to add that I remember reading one review in which the punter, having shot his load and seen the girl run off to the bathroom, wiped himself off on one of the bedroom curtains!

Haven't we all done that 

[Cupid Stuntz]

Haven't we all done that 

Guilty m'Lud.

[soigneur]

One german girl advertised a full service but when I got in the room with her, all hands were pushed away and she just deliberately ran down the clock with shite chat.
   She went upstairs before kicking me out so I knocked on out on the pillow and covered it with the sheet.
Emailed her the following day to tell her to wash her hair. She was not happy & threatened her pimp on me etc.

Serves her right for not even letting me have a grope. Santa has to empty his sack one way or t'other. 

[anglian]

An occasional hazard of visiting a TCM is the happy ending cum spurts that have landed on the wall or floor and haven't been cleaned up.  I've pulled women up about it but they always deny it and say it's just 'oil'.

That got me thinking, I've been in some rank brothels were there's been tell-tale stains on the bed sheets (Peaches in East London was gross, bed was covered in circles of white).  Must be others who can say the same?

Was that the knocking shop by Wanstead flats? If so, I recall seeing an old mattress put out for the binman which was way, way worse than the one in the bedroom. 

[catweazle]

One Thai spa I've been to has a washbasin in the corner. There was a damp facecloth it. After an excellent HJ, she rinsed the facecloth under the tap and cleaned me up with it. As i left i saw it lying in the basin again.

[sparkus]

Was that the knocking shop by Wanstead flats? If so, I recall seeing an old mattress put out for the binman which was way, way worse than the one in the bedroom. 

It was on the high Road, alternated owners until Clyde got busted.

In all but its last incarnation it had a pole in the bedroom (and a few Poles on the bed). Accessed via back of shops.

[Marmalade]

One Thai spa I've been to has a washbasin in the corner. There was a damp facecloth it. After an excellent HJ, she rinsed the facecloth under the tap and cleaned me up with it. As i left i saw it lying in the basin again.

You could always maybe rinse it yourself at the start of a punt in case she forgot to do so. 

[willie loman]

Some girls have sheets like the "turin shroud".

[Blackpool Rock]

Some girls have sheets like the "turin shroud".

Reminds me of this from about 20 years ago (good memory for smut), according to Roger's Profanisaurus (Viz)

map of Africa n. The unfortunate stain left on the bed sheet and often the mattress below after an exchange of bodily fluids. Also map of Ireland

[willie loman]

In" pornoys complaint", the protagonist masturbates in the bathroom, and ejaculates with such force, that his semen sizzles on the light bulb.

[BDiONU]

I'm reliably told that spunk in your peepers actually stings quite a bit. Some girls are happy to take a facial but are careful to avoid the old King Harold shot if possible.

It stings and leaves a rather tell tale red eye ;-)

[Sheer Tights]

Once went to an awful dive which had a low air mattress covered with a towel. I could see the mattress underneath and the walls were plastered with cum stains

[Terryray]

Fart and give us a bearing

[Chorley]

 Not strictly punting related, but I checked into a Premier Inn a while back and noticed some telltale stains on the wall above the headboard.
Can't be sure if it was a punter fucking a WG who was doing incalls, or a pair of enthusiastic civvies?
Either way, one hell of a spunk!