External Link/Members OnlySampled JBs BJ (palindromic,or what?) among other services recently,for the first time .First noticed her on (A)d(W)hore in 2014 , let down on a booking then,seemed to take an escorting hiatus, returned on scene in last year and a bit.
Had researched UKP, mostly positive feedback,but black marked about an earlier allegedly false BB request accusation. Anorexic Brum pickings for decent SPs swayed my selection.Pinched my nose to keep out the BB allegation stench and took the plunge.........
I'm a Driving Test examiner .Review'll be set out to reflect this.She passed her Theory test i.e.Adwank profile.Now going to see if she passed the practical element.........
Comms- Texted her day before to set up the Driving Test booking,replied quickly,confirmation texts by me on day and when in vicinity elicited prompt,accurate responses.
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Examiner's verdict-Pass)
Driving Test Area - Brum's unofficial internalised RLD at the top of Broad St, before the Five Ways roundabout.I'll christen it "Escortonia".Or "Whorelivia".You all know the area.Modern/quiet/clean/safe(ish).Ample parking on surrounding roads for drivers.As you would expect for a driving test area,
.
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Examiner's verdict-Pass)
Driving Test Centre- Unorthodox internal layout apartment block.Maze-like .Need to be Theseus with his ball of thread to navigate it. Luxurious/clean/tidy/multi-roomed flat ,carnal activities took place in a sparsely furnished bedroom with en-suite shower.
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Examiner's verdict-Pass)
Test Fee - £80 for h/h .From me to her.And here I was thinking that the examinee had to pay..........
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Examiner's verdict-Pass-just.)
Manoeuvres examined and received- FK/OWO/DT/CG:Doggy protected sex/ CIM.
Manoeuvres requested but not received- rimming on me,agreed in initial enquiry text.
As I approached the" test centre",texted to inform her about my impending arrival,was kept waiting at the main door for several mins,so pretended I'd stopped to text.Indiscrete.Even more so if area was busier.
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Examiner's verdict-minor fault)
Appearance + WelcomeAs an examiner,
,took note of her appearance and cross-referenced it with her provisional licence (i.e. AW pictures!) to make sure that she wasn't a B+S imposter/someone taking the "test" on another's behalf.Checked out,no jiggery pokery.
My notes to the DVLA (actually,you lot!) are as follows-
Prob 30ish/c. 5ft 7in/ size 10ish,ever-so-slight tummy /decent,shapely ass + legs/34 C -cup boobies,nice nips.
Long gingerish- brown hair/ pale skin tone/Brazilian strip/prominent inner lady lips/didn't notice any tatts.
Facially attractive, IMO.Demure look.
Wearing black top + panties .Smelt hygienic.Well spoken,articulate,polite,but introverted.
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Examiner's verdict-Pass on appearance,minor fail on personality)
The "Test" ItselfAvailed myself of the en-suite facilities,dried off,lay on bed,my gearstick stuck in neutral, asked her to start ignition and drive off.
a)
1st manoeuvre -FK: decent,prolonged,unhesitant.Also some attention to my nipples.Lay entwined ,occasional coaxing of the steering column by her.Gearstick now in 2nd and screeching to be jacked to 3rd .
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Examiner's verdict-Pass)
b)
2nd manoeuvre -asked her to put throttle down, gearstick now in 4th ,onto OWO and some DT.Was reasonable but nothing rip-roaring,also no attention to taters.
(
Examiner's verdict-Pass-just)
c)
3rd manoeuvre- asked her to put seat belt(aka Johnny Condom) on for safety reasons. Horn was now blaring(pun intended).CG,semi-vigorous,during which I fiddled with little buttons on her dashboard e.g. nips.Passable.
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Examiner's verdict-Pass)
d) 4th manoeuvre -got up, did a 3 point turn ,she reversed around the corner,manoeuvred between her parked car cheeks,engaged in doggy for 10mins.Pistoned and probed her oily sump with dipstick , throttle variations ,could feel her flange clutching me a bit.Also made a few moaning noises-fan belt trouble on her part?
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Examiner's verdict-Pass)
e) Indicator light started to flash for the petrol tank (aka my plums),so manually manipulated my gearstick and siphoned off my 5 star into her waiting mouth. Went to the loo to deposit.Bit of a waste,that stuff's expensive.
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Examiner's verdict-Pass)
Some small,but stilted, talk afterwards while cleaning up.Also quiet before and during the "test".Fairly passive during the acts,and needed leading.Dunno if she's naturally quiet/submissive , was mentally pre-occupied with an issue,or we didn't "click" for whatever reason.Maybe she's jaded .Just prefer more proactivity,spontaneity,and a more garrulous,bubbly character.
Wrestled for a long time on how to rate this "test".A classic case of Paralysis by Analysis.No services were goddawful,but none were particularly inspirational either- a bit "meh".No "major" or "dangerous" faults,no emergency stops.Also, didn't have my wheel rim pressure washed (pre-agreed rimming on me had not been delivered-tbf,she may've forgotten and I didn't remind her).Right on the interface of a positive and a neutral.Think the decent body tips it.I'll go with a scraped positive by a 51% majority.
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Examiner's verdict-Pass -just)
Ford Escort XR3i(pun intended),not Porsche ,but not Citroen 2CV either.
She got her certificate-only just.Doubt I'll return to hand it to her personally,though.
Caveat Emptor -as with every car make/model,YMMV.
Thanks for reading.
LM
p.s.I'm not a Driving Test Examiner/Instructor.Just an alternative slant on the usual review format.
Topic: JenniBreene-only just positive SP,Birmingham (Read 2427 times)
