I said a lot of what is below in another discussion reply but still very relevant to this, maybe this video link or the book mentioned in the thread above may have been some use to me about 4-years ago, but I'm happy where I am right now (punting once a month & getting a divorce) and can only image that I'll continue to feel better about myself when the sexless marriage is over and the OH is out of my life.
I'm mid 40's, been married for 20-years, had a very vanilla sex life for 5-years, then the wife went nuts (she's always been close to the 'stab-proof-vest' end of the scale
) about the time our 2nd kid was born. I left her and had an affair with a girl from work, a super hot girl about 10-year my junior who gave me a lot of the dirtier stuff wife never had (anal, real DT, CIM). Had a great time for about 6-months, but the wife was gonna divorce me (taking me to the cleaners
) the new bird wanted me to marry her (FUCKING WOMEN
).
So I dumped the new and back to the OH, after a couple of years of shite, things really picked up and I found out that my wife always had been a dirty bitch, she just needed me to leave her for a year to work it out.
Sex life was sweet for about 10-years, proper dirty, dressing up, outdoors, never quite got her BJ technique sorted and never CIM, but she would cum hardest after I'd already unloaded in her ass
. We had some lean times of course, but on the whole I was satisfied.
Then about 5-years ago the wife had a bit of a mental breakdown, spent a year dealing with that shite
. Then as quick as the crazy began, it stopped
. But she was a changed woman, decided to get fit and lost about 2-stone (she is now super hot) but the sex went ultra vanilla and then dried up all together.
It'll be 4-years this April since the last time we had sex, I tried hard to rekindle things for a year, but just gave up asking and started punting just over 2-years ago, about 40 punts down and really mellow about it, some minor guilt after the first one, but never looked back.
I decided that I'd had enough of it (being married to someone who shows no interest in even spending any time or effort on our relationship), the only way our marriage worked was if I put in 75% effort to her 25%, just to keep it civil between us, and with that imbalance And no sex, it just wasn't working for me.
So earlier this year I just stopped trying to keep things on an even keel, and what would you know, the entire house of cards has come crashing down, I've been sleeping in the spare room for 8-months
.
Not so worried about the financials now, been lucky over the last couple of years, she's started working and I earn enough to buy her out of the house, kiddies are all grown up, youngest is 18 and off to Uni later this year, older one is already there, they also both know their mum is a nutter and want to live with me when not at Uni.
Divorce is well under way and I have no intention to get roped into another long term relationship.
Concerning punting, when it comes down to it, I see like this.
"if I had a bad back I'd go and see a professional to get it sorted out, which costs money and provides relief......I don't have a bad back"
Have as much sex as you can, whether you're young or old, whether it's free or for a price (and that does not just mean with WG's, as any married man will tell you that every fuck has a cost), because, when you choose to look back on your life, you're never going say to yourself "I really regret having all that sex"