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Author Topic: How would you feel if it was your Sister, Daughter or Niece?  (Read 5052 times)

Online sparkus

Dare I say it in some cultures the pimping out of very young children to foreign buyers is considered acceptable by parents, just look at the Gary Glitter case in Vietnam and accompanying documentaries on that.

I'm sure it also happened in Victorian England and before to alleviate family poverty as well.

Offline Analist

Daughter- impossible since I don't have any children.
Sister, niece- extremely unlikely given what I know of them
Mother- even more unlikely given her age

If a relative and I encountered each other while punting, I bet we'd be equally surprised. I think my main priority would be to make sure they knew what they were getting into and comfortable about their choice. And offer any advice or help if needed.

Offline lillythesavage

Conversely how would those of us feel if our son was also a fellow punter (for those with children)?

I remember reading that the singer of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers Anthony thingy said he lost his virginity in a brothel that his father took him to and he hadn't really forgave him.

My old man took me to a family wedding over Heathrow way, most were Irish that I had never met, I was 14, he was the only one enjoying me burying my tongue in a cousin I had no idea was a cousin, then on the way home to a pub in Stratford for after hours, and the barmaid he was shagging, another took a shine to me but I bottled it, always regretted not going with it lol, even today.

Then I took him to Ireland for the first time since he left at 15, in a a pub I know well he had the 18 year old barmaid on his lap and snogging him at closing time, was always a ladies man lol.

Offline lillythesavage

Daughter- impossible since I don't have any children.
Sister, niece- extremely unlikely given what I know of them
Mother- even more unlikely given her age

If a relative and I encountered each other while punting, I bet we'd be equally surprised. I think my main priority would be to make sure they knew what they were getting into and comfortable about their choice. And offer any advice or help if needed.

Said it before, about meeting punters you happen to know, similar with finding a relative working, you are all in the same boat and no one wants to open a can of worms, nowt will be said other than between you.

Offline Rock123

If I had a  sister in law I'd be delighted  :D It'd mean I could have a go on that. For a price!!
« Last Edit: May 28, 2021, 07:05:38 pm by Rock123 »

Offline mills_and_bhuna

Its well known that interacial marriage has a higher divorce rate than racially homogenous marriage. Its not a race issue or a critiscism of any particular race but rather a recognition of the problems associated with cultural differences , religious differences and family conflicts within mixed race relationships that can be problematic and result in dysunction and incohesion and negatively affect children caught up in the situation. its a simple matter of recognising the reality , and recognising the affects on the children caught up in it , that is important .
You may not like the reality exposed but your intolerance and anger to opinions you dont like says more about your own bigotry that anything else.
Its idiots like you that stifle debate on subjects that should be debated.
as has already been pointed out they're your opinions rather than facts.
I used to hear that shit all the time feigning concern for the children about the comments they would face from people just like the people who trotted that shite out.
You specifically gave that reason and now you're calling ME a bigot.
Projection at it's finest.

Offline Mr Doodle

My old man took me to a family wedding over Heathrow way, most were Irish that I had never met, I was 14, he was the only one enjoying me burying my tongue in a cousin I had no idea was a cousin, then on the way home to a pub in Stratford for after hours, and the barmaid he was shagging, another took a shine to me but I bottled it, always regretted not going with it lol, even today.

Then I took him to Ireland for the first time since he left at 15, in a a pub I know well he had the 18 year old barmaid on his lap and snogging him at closing time, was always a ladies man lol.

Fuck, I have led a sheltered life!!!

[edit] that would in no way imply I would want to do oral with a cousin
« Last Edit: May 28, 2021, 09:43:31 pm by Mr Doodle »

Offline Mr Doodle

Well its based on my own experience and observation, personally i come from a stable culturally homogenous background , its common sense that diferences in culture , religion and family backgrounds have the potential to cause problems and create an unstable background for kids, not always but my experience talking to the victims of these failed relationships backs it up.
Anyway this is exactly the discussion i wanted to avoid getting involved in , i dont see why people are so opposed to considering the possibility that cross-cultural relationships can be problematic in a way that culturally homogenous relationships arnt. We live in a multicultural society and so much of it is great but that dosnt mean we should not be stifled and bullied into not speaking out where society is failing, especially where the well being of our children is at stake  :thumbsup:
Theres a theory (not mine) that psycologically people who embark on mixed relationships are likely to be more "out there" , more adventurous, bigger risk takers and reckless than people who choose culturally homogeneous relationships , people who choose partners within their own communities are more conservative and safe , the intuitive upshot being that the more reckless people have a higher probability of relationship failure , and any kids grow up with the resulting dysfunction and instability.

What a effin load of tosh...

I also have observed inter-racial and inter-cultural/religious marriages.. and they sure as hell are better than mine which is all the same mono relationship. Imagine those marring who are from religions diametrically opposed; black and white in the Southern states of the US, or a traveler/gypsy and whitey in Eater Europe. The obstacles they have overcome to get to married were bad enough.. and the continual obstacles make them stronger and more bonded..

That is my observation.. Not suggesting they are statistically valid across a whole population.

Oh.. "Anyway this is exactly the discussion i wanted to avoid getting involved in".. if that is the case.. why did you post it?
« Last Edit: May 28, 2021, 09:48:11 pm by Mr Doodle »

Online sparkus

My old man took me to a family wedding over Heathrow way, most were Irish that I had never met, I was 14, he was the only one enjoying me burying my tongue in a cousin I had no idea was a cousin, then on the way home to a pub in Stratford for after hours, and the barmaid he was shagging, another took a shine to me but I bottled it, always regretted not going with it lol, even today.

Then I took him to Ireland for the first time since he left at 15, in a a pub I know well he had the 18 year old barmaid on his lap and snogging him at closing time, was always a ladies man lol.

I think wedding parties up and down the land throughout the ages have involved much random couplings and even children conceived.

Dabbled with some willing older 'cousins' as a teen but safe in the knowledge it was nigh on impossible for me to be a blood relation. I did get the living shit kicked out of me by a boyfriend for my trouble though.

I forget the film but there was a scene where at a family funeral a teenage German boy has his first sexual experience with his buxom blonde aunty and her chebs (which he narrates as :vomit:)

(it's a law of UKP that some threads have to descend into incest probing discussions)

Offline cotton

Yes, I know. Facts are pesky like that aren't they.

I think by attempting to research your "well known" statement that I am not automatically opposed to considering a possibility. However, there is nothing to back it up.

If you dress up opinion not only as fact, but as "well known", you have to expect challenge and not get all flouncy when you don't get your way.
Im not getting flouncy at all  :unknown:
The situation i was refering to initially is a product of a failed mixed race relationship ,  its obvious that diferences in culture , religion and family background are going to be likely aggravating factors in relationship breakdown. It may not be acceptibly woke to acknowledge the fact but its true.  My objection to cross cultural relationships is that they are pre-loaded with agravating factors and are prone to not work and have negative knock of implications for the innocent children involved.
I dont have any objection in principle to culturally mixed relationships , if the 2 people are responsible, know the dificulties and make the relationship work then thats great , my objection is that all to often they seem to not work and result in dysfunction and a rotten start for a kid.
Idk whats the woke line on parenting , does everyone else think single parenthood is great and just as good as 2 parents  :unknown:

Offline The sperminator

I remember an episode of a touch of frost where this guy books an escort to his hotel room. He is in the shower when she arrives, and its not until he comes out and sees his daughters best friend lying naked on the bed. Double awkward since he has just lent her a wad of money to go to uni!
He goes on to commit suicide later in the episode!

Offline Mr Doodle

My experience is different. I know a couple where the hubby is white as they come and his wife is North African Muslim. The pressure they went through on both sides was immense, but they are together a very long time and don't look like breaking up yet... Their bond/love is very strong. My own parents are/were multicultural, yet they did break up.. but it wasn't for their cultural differences (although my mother admitted it was very tough to deal with my father's family). My mother not so long ago admitted that she never really loved my father; he was athletic and handsome (unf. skips a generation), was a semi-pro footballer, and he got her up the duff.

However, I have friends and my own brother who have "inter-married", some at the extremities of differences in culture and most are still going strong decades later.. And yes, a few have fallen by the wayside in the same was a mono-cultural marriages (including the way my own is going).

It's not woke - it is a fact.. But because my sample population is different to yours and has a different outcome on average does not mean it is more or less likely. So many other factors to consider as well. Geet the stats and correlations to other things such as socioeconomic factors, the degree of difference between the cultures (e.g. Eastern European v Western European probably not going to have the same pressures as very different religions, etc) and then compare it against the rate of mono-culture marriages. Then we can talk about fact.. but even then, it is difficult.

Then you have to consider how many people stay in an unhappy marriage and would rather not be in it if not for the economic cost or for the children, etc., and whether that rate is similar or divergent across mono or multicultural couples...

It aint that simple.

Offline cotton

My experience is different. I know a couple where the hubby is white as they come and his wife is North African Muslim. The pressure they went through on both sides was immense, but they are together a very long time and don't look like breaking up yet... Their bond/love is very strong. My own parents are/were multicultural, yet they did break up.. but it wasn't for their cultural differences (although my mother admitted it was very tough to deal with my father's family). My mother not so long ago admitted that she never really loved my father; he was athletic and handsome (unf. skips a generation), was a semi-pro footballer, and he got her up the duff.

However, I have friends and my own brother who have "inter-married", some at the extremities of differences in culture and most are still going strong decades later.. And yes, a few have fallen by the wayside in the same was a mono-cultural marriages (including the way my own is going).

It's not woke - it is a fact.. But because my sample population is different to yours and has a different outcome on average does not mean it is more or less likely. So many other factors to consider as well. Geet the stats and correlations to other things such as socioeconomic factors, the degree of difference between the cultures (e.g. Eastern European v Western European probably not going to have the same pressures as very different religions, etc) and then compare it against the rate of mono-culture marriages. Then we can talk about fact.. but even then, it is difficult.

Then you have to consider how many people stay in an unhappy marriage and would rather not be in it if not for the economic cost or for the children, etc., and whether that rate is similar or divergent across mono or multicultural couples...

It aint that simple.
Yeh of course its not that simple but any individual will obviously be influenced largely by their own personal first hand observation, you will be and i am aswell , the fact that my observation is seeing a disproprtionately negative aspect to cross-cultural relationships will clearly dispose me to to the opinions i have.   But its interesting to hear other peoples positive viewpoints and its encouraging to hear such positive accounts  :thumbsup:


Online sparkus

I remember an episode of a touch of frost where this guy books an escort to his hotel room. He is in the shower when she arrives, and its not until he comes out and sees his daughters best friend lying naked on the bed. Double awkward since he has just lent her a wad of money to go to uni!
He goes on to commit suicide later in the episode!

Christ, I remember that.

Because, if you'd booked a hooker to visit you in a hotel you would just shout to let herself in when she knocked at the door as you showered :crazy:

Offline Lou2019

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What a effin load of tosh...

I also have observed inter-racial and inter-cultural/religious marriages.. and they sure as hell are better than mine which is all the same mono relationship. Imagine those marring who are from religions diametrically opposed; black and white in the Southern states of the US, or a traveler/gypsy and whitey in Eater Europe. The obstacles they have overcome to get to married were bad enough.. and the continual obstacles make them stronger and more bonded..

That is my observation.. Not suggesting they are statistically valid across a whole population.

Oh.. "Anyway this is exactly the discussion i wanted to avoid getting involved in".. if that is the case.. why did you post it?

you put that a lot more politely than what I was going to, it's utter garbage and nonsense.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2021, 10:22:45 am by Lou2019 »

Offline JontyR

Yeh of course its not that simple but any individual will obviously be influenced largely by their own personal first hand observation, you will be and i am aswell , the fact that my observation is seeing a disproprtionately negative aspect to cross-cultural relationships will clearly dispose me to to the opinions i have.   

Ah so when you said "it's well known" you are now saying that it's an opinion.

And what should we make of your attempts to demean or deny alternative opinions by dismissing them as woke?

Idk whats the woke line on parenting , does everyone else think single parenthood is great and just as good as 2 parents  :unknown:

What about families where one (or both) partner has died? Are those children doomed to have lesser chances and opportunities? What about a kid who sees his Mom and Dad engaged in violent behaviour against the other are they better off than someone who is in a loving environment with just one parent?
There is no "woke line" or agenda. I'd like to think that there is a reaction against bigotry and bullying by decent folk who respect others. Labelling things as woke seems to be something that is done by folks who want to deflect attention away from their own standpoints.

Hoenstly cotton, as punters we suffer negative opinions and stereotypes based on a perception of sex work which seems to be a large way away from what I see listed on here. Those that would seek to ban and criminalise the game will however portray exactly the kind of exploitative relationship that you seem to detail with your favourite worker (Who I would suggest has been let down by our health, education and social care systems more than her parents) .

And some of your other posts are creepy as fuck.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2021, 06:05:30 pm by JontyR »

Offline notcalledchris

Anyone whose first reaction to such news is not utter horror either has not read what punters get up to, or try to get up to on this forum, or has no female relatives.

I disagree.  I have a daughter and sister.  I know what punters do.  I like to do it myself.  Utter horror would not be my reaction.  Concern, definitely. Disappointment, maybe.  Utter horror, no
« Last Edit: May 29, 2021, 11:09:48 pm by notcalledchris »

Online sparkus

I disagree.  I have a daughter and sister.  I know what punters do.  I like to do it myself.  Utter horror would not be my reaction.  Concern, definitely. Disappointment, maybe.  Utter horror, no

I have a mother (who thinks I'm an utter reprobate) and a sister (who borderline shares that opinion).  If I discovered anything "shocking" about them they'd be all glass houses/stones and I'd die laughing.

My sister in law barely allows me to go out for a pint with my brother given her low opinion of me and my morals.

Offline cotton

Ah so when you said "it's well known" you are now saying that it's an opinion.

And what should we make of your attempts to demean or deny alternative opinions by dismissing them as woke?

What about families where one (or both) partner has died? Are those children doomed to have lesser chances and opportunities? What about a kid who sees his Mom and Dad engaged in violent behaviour against the other are they better off than someone who is in a loving environment with just one parent?
There is no "woke line" or agenda. I'd like to think that there is a reaction against bigotry and bullying by decent folk who respect others. Labelling things as woke seems to be something that is done by folks who want to deflect attention away from their own standpoints.

Hoenstly cotton, as punters we suffer negative opinions and stereotypes based on a perception of sex work which seems to be a large way away from what I see listed on here. Those that would seek to ban and criminalise the game will however portray exactly the kind of exploitative relationship that you seem to detail with your favourite worker (Who I would suggest has been let down by our health, education and social care systems more than her parents) .

And some of your other posts are creepy as fuck.
If i say the sky was turqoise today is that an opinion ?
But is it wrong to think 2 parents is better than 1 parent ?  or will these decent folk as you presumably label yourself as automatically object to the expression of that opinion and try and suppress it by insinuating it is bigotted and bullying in nature ?
What opinions are you decent folk going to allow me to express ?
Can i include the information that the person i am talking about is from a failed culturally mixed home and that is a large contributor to her current circumstances ?
Can i say that i espouse the benefit of a 2 parents ?
without you as the standard bearer for the decent woke folk calling me names ?
Ok and now your saying exploitative  :unknown:
How is what i describe exploitative , and how is it any more exploitative than any other hooker working because she needs money ?
And no your talking rubbish and just trying to deflect from the core issue when you waffle about being "let down by our health, education and social care systems" she was let down by her family background and her upbringing , she just had a very unfortunate background.
And those who would seek to ban prostitution probably tend to see it all as undersireable and exploitative , honestly Jonty you trying to characterise one specific area as exploitative while what you do is perfectly fine probably says more about your apparent desitre to portray yourself as one of these decent folk than having any baring on what the anti prostitution lobby think of us as a whole.
Effectively you may try and portray yourself as a decent folk but your just as creepy a mofo as anyone else on hear ,
gotta dash out now  :hi:

Offline LLPunting

Who here has any clear idea what the sexual preferences and practices are of their female relatives?  I have no interest in knowing this about mine and I have no right to condemn any legal choices they make to indulge them for free or for a fee.  Well almost none of them, there's this one cousin and a few others' daughters who are gorgeous and of legal age.

Offline WorcWarrior

Who here has any clear idea what the sexual preferences and practices are of their female relatives?  I have no interest in knowing this about mine and I have no right to condemn any legal choices they make to indulge them for free or for a fee.  Well almost none of them, there's this one cousin and a few others' daughters who are gorgeous and of legal age.

Can you post the link please mate  :lol:

Offline JontyR

If i say the sky was turqoise today is that an opinion ?

Yes, but it is one that a) can be verified or confirmed by evidence and b) hasn't been presented as fact that may change people's perceptions of other individuals / couples / family units.

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But is it wrong to think 2 parents is better than 1 parent ?  or will these decent folk as you presumably label yourself as automatically object to the expression of that opinion and try and suppress it by insinuating it is bigotted and bullying in nature ?

No, it isn't wrong, but it would be wrong to present your opinion as a universal truth. Some kids will have better outcomes growing up with one or no parent than some in relationships with 2. 

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What opinions are you decent folk going to allow me to express ?

Express your opinions, don't present them as fact. Especially if your opinions can alter the perception of others. That's the basis of libel and slander laws, not that you can't say anything but that what you say may unfairly change the perception of others. I asked the source of info for your assertion "Its well known that interacial marriage has a higher divorce rate than racially homogenous marriage". I didn't assume you were wrong, I tried to see if I could source anything to back this up. I couldn't find anything. I am still open to any evidence you want to present. I would suggest though that there is also a difference between correlation and causality which would need to be considered. 

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Can i include the information that the person i am talking about is from a failed culturally mixed home and that is a large contributor to her current circumstances ?

Hmmm... That's an interesting question. I reckon you can assert what you feel the reasons to be.  But again are they facts. And is the cultural mix more of a factor than any other pressures that relationships face.

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Can i say that i espouse the benefit of a 2 parents ? without you as the standard bearer for the decent woke folk calling me names ?


Yes, but just cause you say you like jam doesn't mean you cant see the individual benefits of other things to put on toast or that all jams are brilliant.

I am not a standard bearer for anyone other than myself and I haven't called you names.

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Ok and now your saying exploitative  :unknown:
How is what i describe exploitative , and how is it any more exploitative than any other hooker working because she needs money ?

Because the way you describe her she is an addict. She is in an exploitative relationship with her dealer. She doesn't appear to have safe access to methods to allow her to gain control of her life to make decisions beyond her next fix.  I don't see there is much difference between this and a trafficked girl.  Now if I am incorrect in this then I am open enough to change this statement.

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And no your talking rubbish and just trying to deflect from the core issue when you waffle about being "let down by our health, education and social care systems" she was let down by her family background and her upbringing , she just had a very unfortunate background.

There are plenty who have similar backgrounds but have been assisted by systems that get picked up by other sources. You may not know about such things but it doesn't mean it's waffle.

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And those who would seek to ban prostitution probably tend to see it all as undersireable and exploitative , honestly Jonty you trying to characterise one specific area as exploitative while what you do is perfectly fine probably says more about your apparent desitre to portray yourself as one of these decent folk than having any baring on what the anti prostitution lobby think of us as a whole.

Nope, fine for you to make the challenge. Happy to accept it.  I care little what people think about me on here although I'd like to think that some may appreciate the contribution I make to the boards. Self promotion isn't really in my nature, especially not in what is a largely anonymous envrionment!  If someone wants to challenge my behavious I wil consider what they say, and if it has merit then I'll make changes if I feel it necessary. The world changes, I don't think there is any value in not changing myself if its necessary.

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Effectively you may try and portray yourself as a decent folk but your just as creepy a mofo as anyone else on hear ,
Ha ha. That is possibly an opinion that has some basis of fact. It may be the exception that proves the rule.

Offline cotton

Because the way you describe her she is an addict. She is in an exploitative relationship with her dealer. She doesn't appear to have safe access to methods to allow her to gain control of her life to make decisions beyond her next fix.  I don't see there is much difference between this and a trafficked girl.  Now if I am incorrect in this then I am open enough to change this statement.
Yeh ok that all seems fine.
I think the only thing i need to clarify is the exploitative issue.
Yes she is an addict.  her relationship with her dealers is just a straight up transactional one pure and simple , like a choclate addict buying choclate from tescos, if that is exploitative idk. i was assuming you meant my dealings with her were exploitative , but if that isnt what you were saying then fine.
Alot of girls have accessed methods of help during covid for a multitude of reasons , the girl we are talking about however hasnt because she isnt in need of help with housing and she seems to have no problem satisfying her drug habit despite covid restrictions.  Regarding her ability to safely access methods of help i would characterise her current position as being that she does not want to access help rather than she is not able to , her star is currently in the ascendancy, more likely when it wanes she might appreciate some help idk. 
You will need to better explain to me how you think drug addicts are the same as a trafficked girl for me to understand what you mean and be able to give an answer.
The thing with drug addicts is that they love drugs , obvious yeh , its easy to think of them as victims and from a longterm perspective that evaluates their childhood backgrounds and in some instances their underlying pscological propensity to doing mad shit like drugs they might be victims but apart from being prisoners of the hand that life has dealt them they are not in general being victimised , controlled , coerced or enslaved in the same way a trafficked girl is. You could say they are enslaved by drugs but they are doing what they choose to do, because they love drugs more than anything else , more than their children , more than anything. You may not agree with it , but they are what they are and they are dealing with life in their own way as we all are.  Its great that help is available to quit but a drug addict needs to be ready to quit , till then they just want drugs because thats where they are in life atm.

Offline JontyR

Well you know her better than I. However, this all started from the fact that you have reported your perceptions / opinion as fact and so it is difficult to take anything else you say at face value and not just a justification for your action or opinion. Sorry.

To go back to the point of the thread, my thoughts on matters of exploitation are pretty easily extrapolated from my initial entry on this thread at post 7 https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=308948.msg3233206#msg3233206

So I suppose the question is, would she be entering in to the kind of agreement she is with you (money/time/service) and others if she wasn't addicted?

And the second question is, if you asked her and she said she wouldn't....would you still go ahead?

Offline cotton

But thats the whole anti-prostitution arguement right there, most all prostitutes are working from some necessity for money.
if a punter visits a girl who is working to send money home to feed her relatives in her native country , would she be entering into a money/time/service agreement with anyone if this wasnt the case ?
2nd question if aforemention example was asked and she said she woudnt would you still go ahead.
Your thought process basically characterises virtually all instances of prostitution as dispicable and equivalent to exploitation.
Do you question the hookers you visit wether they would be fucking you if they didnt need the money ?
And even if they said they would be fucking you irrespective of the money it would presumably be a lie . And if you beleived it , it would be a delusion , maybe a necessary delusion to support your belief that you are one of the "good folk"
Anyway i dont agree - i dont think a woman willingly working as a sex worker to meet needs attendant upon her personal circumstances equates to exploitation.
It has previously been pointed out in other threads that exploitation is more where a woman is approached and turned out into prostitution , with the possibility of other aggravating factors present or not.  Where a woman willingly proffers her services and you or i as punters respond and take her up on the offer then that is not exploitation.
So i think you are completely barking up the wrong tree their re exploitation.

Offline JontyR

But thats the whole anti-prostitution arguement right there, most all prostitutes are working from some necessity for money.
if a punter visits a girl who is working to send money home to feed her relatives in her native country , would she be entering into a money/time/service agreement with anyone if this wasnt the case ?

If you'd understood my point in the post I referred to you'd see the answer to this. The decision to take up sex work is not the defining fact but the motivation. You appear to see the necessity for money as being the same whether it is an addict paying for drugs, or a mother paying for school uniforms or trips. I don't think these instances are the same.


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2nd question if aforemention example was asked and she said she woudnt would you still go ahead.

No I wouldn't. Would you?


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Your thought process basically characterises virtually all instances of prostitution as dispicable and equivalent to exploitation.

No. This is not the case, and if you had spent any time trying to understand the basis of the points made to you you couldn't rationally draw such a conclusion.

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Do you question the hookers you visit wether they would be fucking you if they didnt need the money ?
And even if they said they would be fucking you irrespective of the money it would presumably be a lie . And if you beleived it , it would be a delusion ,

No but I make the decision who I see on a number of factors. One of which is whther they are being exploited or an addict. We all have our punting rules. Yours are different to mine.

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maybe a necessary delusion to support your belief that you are one of the "good folk"

I think there is one of us who is desperately seeking validation of their opinions and actions. However, it isn't me.

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Anyway i dont agree - i dont think a woman willingly working as a sex worker to meet needs attendant upon her personal circumstances equates to exploitation.
It has previously been pointed out in other threads that exploitation is more where a woman is approached and turned out into prostitution , with the possibility of other aggravating factors present or not. 

I'm happy to read anything that you want to put forward. But you've not backed up anything in the past. And an example is not necessarily a whole definition. Neither is an omission proof.

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Where a woman willingly proffers her services and you or i as punters respond and take her up on the offer then that is not exploitation.

But I am suggesting that some addicts are not willingly doing it, that they have had the ability to make rational decisions removed.

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So i think you are completely barking up the wrong tree their re exploitation.
Well we disagree. But I feel that the basis of my reasoning is sound. I have fronted up and answered all of your questions and tried to understand your arguments. I haven't seen the same in reverse.

It's fine. You don't have to agree with me. You can be wrong if you want to.

Offline cotton

From an exploitation perspective what is important is that the girl is working willingly.  If you start earmarking certain instances where you personally decide the reasons are heinous like drugs and sending money to relatives then that is just you applying your own arbitary rules , and rules that you by your own admission dont proactively follow thru with as you dont ask the prostitutes you see why they are working so you have no idea why they are working. So its all just nonsensical holier than thou posturing .

If a prostitute told me she was working willingly to earn money to send home to her relatives i would have no problem with going ahead , providing there were no other red flags to suggest she was in any way being exploited and lying to me.

And if you are advocating denying women the right to work willingly as prostitutes if they want to because you decide in your high moral wisdom it is exploitation to do it for such and such reason you are walking shoulder to shoulder with the anti-prostituttion lobby.  I would say the indications are that you dont approve of alot of prostitution and would wipe it out , that makes you part ally with the anti prostitution lobby , would you agree with that.

Yes some addicts are not willingly doing it , those that are subject to the qualifying criteria for exploitation as given by the cps , coercion etc. They are being exploited just the same as any prostitute who is not a drug addict and is subject to the qualifying criteria for exploitation.  And quid pro quo drug addicts who arnt subject to those exploitation criteria and any prostitute who isnt subject to those exploitation criteria isnt being exploited.
Obviously girls who are being exploited as per the conventional understanding of coercion and enslavement should be protected and should not be punted , but what you are describing as exploitation is something completely of your own devising, basically to the effect of condemning what other people do while saying what you do is fine , arbitary and selfish.

Tbh i dont know quite what to make of you jonty , your coming out with this anti-prostitution arguements with the seeming intent of vilifying other punters and representing yourself as some punter with super elevated morality. Maybe you really do practice your elevated ideas of morality or it could just all be bullshit.  How can you even be sure some of the girls you punt arnt drug users or alcies.  And fuck nows what they spend the money on  :unknown:

Offline JontyR

From an exploitation perspective what is important is that the girl is working willingly.  If you start earmarking certain instances where you personally decide the reasons are heinous like drugs and sending money to relatives then that is just you applying your own arbitary rules , and rules that you by your own admission dont proactively follow thru with as you dont ask the prostitutes you see why they are working so you have no idea why they are working. So its all just nonsensical holier than thou posturing .

Utter bollocks.

I said that I will make my judgements based on the evidence I see and am able to ascertain. I know from when I lived near a red light district that many of the girls working the streets were like wraiths. Shadows of former people. Will I go there, no. Are all those who work the streets on drugs...no. Does my attitude to the risk overcome the potential reward.....no. Not even close.

Yes, morals and ethical choices are personal. I know what mine are and will detail of asked. You say that you feel that you can't express your opinion and yet when invited you don't share but deflect and project onto others.

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If a prostitute told me she was working willingly to earn money to send home to her relatives i would have no problem with going ahead , providing there were no other red flags to suggest she was in any way being exploited and lying to me.

Cool, me neither. And if she were working just to get her next fix and she told you as much?

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And if you are advocating denying women the right to work willingly as prostitutes if they want to because you decide in your high moral wisdom it is exploitation to do it for such and such reason you are walking shoulder to shoulder with the anti-prostituttion lobby.


Yes, but I'm not. You seem to have gone full circle here. Look at my standpoint on this which I have directed you to several times and compare it to your own. 

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I would say the indications are that you dont approve of alot of prostitution and would wipe it out , that makes you part ally with the anti prostitution lobby , would you agree with that.

No I wouldn't; and I'm puzzled as to how you could ever draw that conclusion. I don't know what proportion of SPs are coerced, trafficked or exploited so can't comment on "a lot". It would seem from the reviews I read on here, which I admit is going to be less than 5% of all postings and almost all around my locality, that almost all of the positive business is conducted with those SPs that have the mental capacity to make their own decisions.

Now I'd expect actually that this forum is probably have a higher proportion of folks that aren't dabbling in the markets which have a higher vulnerability to exploiting the SPs. 

Maybe again your own personal experiences are giving a different impression of the size of different markets within the scope of paid sex.     

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Yes some addicts are not willingly doing it , those that are subject to the qualifying criteria for exploitation as given by the cps , coercion etc. They are being exploited just the same as any prostitute who is not a drug addict and is subject to the qualifying criteria for exploitation.  And quid pro quo drug addicts who arnt subject to those exploitation criteria and any prostitute who isnt subject to those exploitation criteria isnt being exploited.

By the definition of the CPS. And definitions change. And as I said in my last response "an example is not necessarily a whole definition. Neither is an omission proof." The law is not a moral code in itself. If you choose to make it one then that is up to you. If the law changes would your behaviour? And if it did is that because of the morality of keeping to the law or because you genuinely now felt what was morally right before became morally wrong at the point of Royal Assent?

Also at risk of even further clouding the point, the CPS isn't even the law. It's motivations an actions are based on things other than morality. 

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Obviously girls who are being exploited as per the conventional understanding of coercion and enslavement should be protected and should not be punted , but what you are describing as exploitation is something completely of your own devising, basically to the effect of condemning what other people do while saying what you do is fine , arbitary and selfish.

Right....what do you mean by the "conventional understanding of coercion and enslavement"?  is this convention the same as the "well known" statement that started this whole thing?

Yes, I may draw my conclusions based on evidence and act according to that. Why wouldn't I?

And when have I condemned anyone? The only thing I have condemned here is you asserting facts or presenting truths that have no basis beyond your own experience. And even then I think condemned is overly strong for what I've done. After all, you've been able to ignore this point in your responses to date.

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Tbh i dont know quite what to make of you jonty , your coming out with this anti-prostitution arguements with the seeming intent of vilifying other punters and representing yourself as some punter with super elevated morality. Maybe you really do practice your elevated ideas of morality or it could just all be bullshit.  How can you even be sure some of the girls you punt arnt drug users or alcies.  And fuck nows what they spend the money on  :unknown:

And now you are arguing a point that isn't even there. I have never here given an anti-prostitution argument. I have given anti-exploitation arguments (although you believe my definition to be too broad). I do believe that society (through its statutory agencies) has a role in protecting and assisting the vulnerable.

I don't care what you make of me. I do wonder whether I don't fit into the pigeon holes you have in your mind and this is why you are trying to project what you think is being said onto my posts. I don't know if you are used to people eventually agreeing with you - but here's my opinion -  I bet it's to shut you up before going to a different pub.

Offline JontyR

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Does my attitude to the risk overcome the potential reward.....no. Not even close.

Got this the wrong way round. The risk far outweighs any possible reward.

Offline cotton

Ok thats all fine.  Im starting to understand your viewpoint on exploitation is a very personal one, whereas i would default towards interpreting exploitation from the cps, thats what i would call conventional.

So i can see that your understanding of exploitation is broader than mine. You seem to regard any coercive circumstances propelling the woman to sell herself for sex as being exploitation.  Essentially customers would be exploiting her unfortunate circumstances , like in our example of the woman working to send money to her family.

Its interesting under your broader interpretation what does and does not constitute exploitation ;
case 1 - So if a woman was willingly working as a prostitute and told you she was working to pay off an overdue amount on her mortgage would you proceed with her , and would you describe this as exploitaion.
And in the above example does it make any difference to your adjudication if she additionally tells you that altho shes working to pay off the debt your so handsome she would virtually fuck you for free . And might she be lying to you ?

case 2 - What if a woman told you she was working to pay for an operation for her dog ? proceed or not ?

case 3 - Last what if a woman told you she was working as a prostitute just to see what it was like , so no coercive circumstances , but she also made it quite clear that she was only fucking you due to the money and if it wasnt for the money she would have zero desire to fuck you, how would that situation sit with you ? proceed or not proceed ? Any hint of exploitation in this one ?

Last question - obviously your wider interpretation of exploitation means that you condemn a much wider range of instances of prostitution than i do or the law does. Would you advocate implementing laws along the lines of your thinking prohibiting prostitution that you morally object to.   Or not , and while you personally disapprove of prostitution in some instances that you personally regard as exploitative you have no objection to other people doing so , like the woman sending money home to her relatives.  :hi:

Offline Whiteknight

What a effin load of tosh...

I also have observed inter-racial and inter-cultural/religious marriages.. and they sure as hell are better than mine which is all the same mono relationship. Imagine those marring who are from religions diametrically opposed; black and white in the Southern states of the US, or a traveler/gypsy and whitey in Eater Europe. The obstacles they have overcome to get to married were bad enough.. and the continual obstacles make them stronger and more bonded..

That is my observation.. Not suggesting they are statistically valid across a whole population.

Oh.. "Anyway this is exactly the discussion i wanted to avoid getting involved in".. if that is the case.. why did you post it?

Yes I agreed to what you say  :thumbsup:

Just based on my friends and what I have seen, nearly all my foreign friends for years all seemed to be happily married with children and stayed together, as opposed to my local friends, a significant portion have separated or divorced and became single parent, then had countless numbers of relationship and children.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2021, 09:12:05 am by Whiteknight »

Offline JontyR

Ok thats all fine.  Im starting to understand your viewpoint on exploitation is a very personal one, whereas i would default towards interpreting exploitation from the cps, thats what i would call conventional.

So i can see that your understanding of exploitation is broader than mine. You seem to regard any coercive circumstances propelling the woman to sell herself for sex as being exploitation.  Essentially customers would be exploiting her unfortunate circumstances , like in our example of the woman working to send money to her family.

Its interesting under your broader interpretation what does and does not constitute exploitation ;
case 1 - So if a woman was willingly working as a prostitute and told you she was working to pay off an overdue amount on her mortgage would you proceed with her , and would you describe this as exploitaion.
And in the above example does it make any difference to your adjudication if she additionally tells you that altho shes working to pay off the debt your so handsome she would virtually fuck you for free . And might she be lying to you ?

case 2 - What if a woman told you she was working to pay for an operation for her dog ? proceed or not ?

case 3 - Last what if a woman told you she was working as a prostitute just to see what it was like , so no coercive circumstances , but she also made it quite clear that she was only fucking you due to the money and if it wasnt for the money she would have zero desire to fuck you, how would that situation sit with you ? proceed or not proceed ? Any hint of exploitation in this one ?

Last question - obviously your wider interpretation of exploitation means that you condemn a much wider range of instances of prostitution than i do or the law does. Would you advocate implementing laws along the lines of your thinking prohibiting prostitution that you morally object to.   Or not , and while you personally disapprove of prostitution in some instances that you personally regard as exploitative you have no objection to other people doing so , like the woman sending money home to her relatives.  :hi:

Again you have completely misrepresented or ignored what was said. Again you use rhetoric and exaggerated language to try and back up your points with no evidence. Again you ask questions but do not answer them. Again you appear to not to be able to consider anything from any standpoint than your own and you don't want to move the conversation forward but try to score points - unfortunately for you you aren't particularly good at it and your questions just look fatuous to me. I'm sorry if I have now got personal, but I am out of patience and I am struggling to find the will to stay in this pub and continue this conversation.

However as I have come this far. Again look at my original post. The decision to undertake sex work is less of an issue for me. Whether there are some extra circumstances that mean that the individual is working in sex work due to some malevolent external influence is more of a concern.

You may try and point that we all go to work to pay for the things that we want and how is this different? Well if you worked for me and I saw that you were suffering because of a drug addiction I would see if there were anything I could do to help. What is happening with some sex workers is that that they are are not receiving help but the opposite. They are being exploited by that vulnerability to move into or remain in sex work.

Again I haven't condemned anything. Your "obviously" about what laws I think should be impacted is wrong - I think for instance that two folks sharing premises being illegal is ridiculous and dangerous.

Do I think that sex workers should be criminalised? No.
Do I think that punters should be criminalised? No. 
Do I think that those who are exploiting or coercing those into sex work when their mental capacity to make rational decisions is curtailed should be criminalised? Yes.
Do I think that punters that engage knowingly with those who are exploited and coerced should be criminalised? hmmmm... not necessarily but I think they should be informed as to how they may be facilitating an exploitative relationship.

In answer to your question I actually think that sex work should have a semblance of regulation. SPs should be licensed. Tax should be paid. Workers should be tested regularly to maintain their license and routinely provided access to services that allow them to deal with things such as addiction and other standard services. Areas for street work should be set up to allow for business to be safely policed and accessed but without impacting on the local population of that area. Agencies should be subject to the same responsibilities as other employment businesses. Brothels should have clear contracts for providers that work in them same as those who provide other studio environments like hairdressing or tattoo artists.  And if folks operate outside of these rules then they have no excuse and the law should be brought to bear.

And bringing this back round to the thread, if we want sex work to be considered an option like other jobs then the industry has to be treated the same and operate to the same standards and rules as others too.

Offline cotton

Ok so ivve clearly got the wrong end of the stick about what you classify as exploitation  :hi:
So you are more concerned about malevolent external influences , like criminal gangs and suchlike , not that a woman is working because her simple non malevolent life circumstances have made working as a hooker appear like a good option. Well thats what i think aswell , like nothing wrong with the woman working to send money to her family in her native place or to pay for her dogs operation.
A quick read of the last bit and i think i generally agree with you , regulate it and run it with good practices and safety.
That leaves drug addicts that we disagree on. So what is diferent about drug addicts ? They are working due to their own compelling personal circumstances just like the woman working to send money to her family. Why should we be more sympathetic about the potential danger of exploiting a drug addict than a woman selling her ass to send money home to feed her family  :unknown:

Offline ratedj

So what is diferent about drug addicts ? They are working due to their own compelling personal circumstances just like the woman working to send money to her family. Why should we be more sympathetic about the potential danger of exploiting a drug addict than a woman selling her ass to send money home to feed her family  :unknown:

Could it be that drug usage can affect cognitive activities such as decision-making, response inhibition, planning and memory, leading to out-of-character behaviour?

Offline cotton

Could it be that drug usage can affect cognitive activities such as decision-making, response inhibition, planning and memory, leading to out-of-character behaviour?
Yeh that could be the reasoning. But if that is the case then it would be wrong to have sex with anyone who had alcohol to drink
Also drug addicts vary conciderably , from the washed up shell of a being that everybody feels sympathy and compassion for to the very clued up and astute.  For sure its natural to feel empathy and compassion for a drug addict who is washed up and bewildered and clearly in a bad way , but we would feel that same way about anybody even if they wernt a drug addict and our instinct would be compassion and to help, not wanting to have sex with them.
But at the other end of the spectrum where you have a functioning drug user who chooses to do drugs (see their individual life history for the reasons) and chooses to do prostitution to fund it. Prostitution or stealing may be the only options they have  , but should that concern us any more than if a woman whos behind on her mortgage and has no other options resorts to prostitution.
For me the notion of laying some blanket moral ban of having sex with drug addicts like they are all mental defectives is based on an incorrect generalisation.
If a woman is irresponsible and cant handle her affairs very well and as a result of being a bit dim and useless and making bad decisions gets behind on her mortgage and is forced by circumstances to resort to prostitution should we not punt her because shes turned to prostitution because she cant cope with life very well.
How far do you molycoddle people , my understanding is that so long as the person comes to the decision to resort to prostitution off their own initiative , rather than being coerced, and they are effectively advertising their services then you as a consumer arnt exploiting them , you are just taking them up on their willingly made offer of services.

Offline JontyR

Could it be that drug usage can affect cognitive activities such as decision-making, response inhibition, planning and memory, leading to out-of-character behaviour?

Yep mainly this, and Cotton said it himself in Reply 172
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You could say they are enslaved by drugs but they are doing what they choose to do, because they love drugs more than anything else , more than their children , more than anything
But there are matters about the effect on an individuals health and well being.

I do think though, cotton, that your understanding/interpretation of addiction and how it presents is somewhat different to mine. 

So you are more concerned about malevolent external influences , like criminal gangs and suchlike ,

I guess that quite often it isn't anything so grand but am willing to be wrong on this. An abusive partner, landlord, dealer, "friend", heck could even be a relative or parent.   

Offline JontyR

Yeh that could be the reasoning. But if that is the case then it would be wrong to have sex with anyone who had alcohol to drink
Also drug addicts vary conciderably , from the washed up shell of a being that everybody feels sympathy and compassion for to the very clued up and astute.  For sure its natural to feel empathy and compassion for a drug addict who is washed up and bewildered and clearly in a bad way , but we would feel that same way about anybody even if they wernt a drug addict and our instinct would be compassion and to help, not wanting to have sex with them.
But at the other end of the spectrum where you have a functioning drug user who chooses to do drugs (see their individual life history for the reasons) and chooses to do prostitution to fund it. Prostitution or stealing may be the only options they have  , but should that concern us any more than if a woman whos behind on her mortgage and has no other options resorts to prostitution.
For me the notion of laying some blanket moral ban of having sex with drug addicts like they are all mental defectives is based on an incorrect generalisation.
If a woman is irresponsible and cant handle her affairs very well and as a result of being a bit dim and useless and making bad decisions gets behind on her mortgage and is forced by circumstances to resort to prostitution should we not punt her because shes turned to prostitution because she cant cope with life very well.
How far do you molycoddle people , my understanding is that so long as the person comes to the decision to resort to prostitution off their own initiative , rather than being coerced, and they are effectively advertising their services then you as a consumer arnt exploiting them , you are just taking them up on their willingly made offer of services.

The difference is though that the individual behind on their mortgage will have a "break point" in their decision making. Once they are no longer behind do they want to continue. Each punt is helping them reach their goal.

This isn't the case with an addict though. I don't know how many folks turn tricks just because they fancy a bit of puff on a Friday night. I'd wager that for most addicts who have turned to prostitution to fund a habit  are (or end up) working from hit to hit. And each punt is not moving to a break point but reinforcing the addiction.

Offline daviemac

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I don't know how this thread has got so far off topic but I suggest that cotton and JontyR agree to disagree on the subject of drugs and exploitation.

Feel free to start a thread in 'off topic' on those subjects.

Offline JontyR

I don't know how this thread has got so far off topic but I suggest that cotton and JontyR agree to disagree on the subject of drugs and exploitation.

Message received. Thank you.

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Feel free to start a thread in 'off topic' on those subjects.
If I see any such thread I will mark it to ignore.  :)

Offline cotton

I don't know how this thread has got so far off topic but I suggest that cotton and JontyR agree to disagree on the subject of drugs and exploitation.

Feel free to start a thread in 'off topic' on those subjects.
No worries Davie , i was just trying to keep Jonty occupied so he didnt have time to harrass anyone else  :)

Offline a1000punts

And how you think your parents would feel about your exploits?

they would be sad I think, but they probably wouldn't be surprised
Banned reason: Abusive, troll like posts.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline myothernameis

One of my friends is married to his second or third cousin, and the common factor, the husband and wife share the same, great grand parents

Online sparkus

One of my friends is married to his second or third cousin, and the common factor, the husband and wife share the same, great grand parents

The same could be said of our Head of State and her recently deceased life companion.

Offline midspunter

As long as they weren't being exploited, were safe and enjoyed the work, then I'd be relatively relaxed. My main concern would be the social price out being outed, if that happened to them. That could potentially affect your life very badly.