Just a post to share my GUM clinic experiences in case anyone is wondering what it is like.
I've been twice - first time was on a weekday lunchtime during the walk-in session at a west London hospital. As I was near the start of the queue when doors opened, I was registered and seen within 20 minutes. First the doctor asked me a few questions about my recent sexual history and examined my dick. Then I went back to the waiting room to wait for the tests with the nurse. One thing that I didn't realise is that it has to be 2 hours since you last pissed before you can do the urine test. This meant that i had to wait longer to see the nurse.
Once I saw the nurse she took a blood sample and then i had to hold my cock-eye apart while she took a swab from inside (this was fairly painful). I then went to give a urine sample and that was it.
My second visit was a few months later, to a different hospital in London, again at a walk-in clinic. This involved a much longer wait, possibly because it was at 8am and not in the middle of the working day. It took 3 hours in total and I realised why it was taking so long when i finally saw the doctor. As he asked a direct question 'have you paid for sex', I was honest and said yes. He then spent about 20 minutes trying to give me low-level psycho-analysis - asking 'how does it make me feel afterwards?', 'do you feel shame?', 'why do you think you do this?', 'are you addicted to porn?' Don't get me wrong, it was completely non-judgmental and well-meaning - but I needed to get on with the tests and get to work! And I was surprised that I would get such attentive treatment in an overrun NHS clinic! Once this was over he conducted all the tests himself and this time I didn't have to open my own cock, he did and took the swab.
Some observations
- The penis swab was a lot less painful with the male doctor than the female nurse. Guess he knows how sensitive it can be.
- The other attendees were mostly young people, mixture of men and women (including very fit ones). Inevitably your mind wanders and thinks how many of these are on the game...maybe I should just ask them!
- Doesn't feel embarrassing once your in there and over the initial contact with the receptionist. All the staff are non-judgmental and have heard it all before.
- Having spoken to the doctor on the second visit it occurred to me that this was the first other human I've told about my hobby. Sounds a bit wussy but it was actually good to get it off my chest and open about it. He was very sympathetic and said something like 'Obviously I recommend not doing it but understand we all get horny sometimes'. Fair play.
One other thing - I have only had conjunctivitis twice in my life and both times were a few days after visiting the GUM clinic. Surely this can't be a coincidence? Has anyone else had this?