I'm in the same boat as you, lost my favourite girl. When I last saw her I jokingly asked her if she would ever retire. She replied that as long as she was wanted she would be available. 4 weeks later she was gone, I was gutted. I keep doing the odd search for her online but have had no luck so far.
Like you I didn't feel too guilty after a visit - we didn't have sex, we didn't kiss, just the most amazing orgasms so it was perfect.
If you ever find her let me know, I will do the same for you,
S.