Author Topic: What's your best exit line. (Read 2702 times)

Gameboy121 · « **on:** January 20, 2021, 12:35:36 am »

You turn up. Balls full and ready to do the deed with the gorgeous babe fm AW. Instead, you find her ugly friend's Grandmother waiting for you.

How do you let her down gently and exit with your wad intact.

Whiteknight · « **Reply #1 on:** January 20, 2021, 12:37:35 am »

Left wallet in car....

JontyR · « **Reply #2 on:** January 20, 2021, 12:43:18 am »

I'm sorry. I think you just turned me gay.

Bonker · « **Reply #3 on:** January 20, 2021, 12:46:52 am »

Clamp hand over mouth. Muffled cries of "bucket, bucket, quick". Charge out of room. Jump in car. Bang head on steering wheel. Drive home.

Marvelous · « **Reply #4 on:** January 20, 2021, 01:38:02 am »

Sometimes honesty is the best policy, tell them sorry you don't look like your pics and walk, they normally just shrug there shoulders.

Having said that around 10 years ago i saw her immediately started breathing fast and said i just got mugged, and they stole my wallet

she gave me a glass off water and i left.

kayak · « **Reply #5 on:** January 20, 2021, 03:07:31 am »

I was working near Maidenhead last year, and it appeared to be full of Adultwork independents. I took my time choosing one who on her profile said she was English, only to find a sullen lass who didn't look anything like the pictures, with a foreign accent. Her only words to me were "for how much time?" as she turned away into the flat. I took a couple of steps and then said "I'm not staying", and turned and left. I think she just shrugged her shoulders.

Anyway, it informed be of what to expect in Maidenhead. It's obviously just an extension of Heathrow and Slough, full of Eastern Europeans, probably working for Sergei. Avoid.

The Bear · « **Reply #6 on:** January 20, 2021, 01:06:52 pm »

Quote from: JontyR on January 20, 2021, 12:43:18 am

I'm sorry. I think you just turned me gay.

Funniest thing I've read all year....

workinallweek · « **Reply #7 on:** January 20, 2021, 04:51:42 pm »

as i said on another thread Taxi for Dave

lillythesavage · « **Reply #8 on:** January 20, 2021, 07:00:50 pm »

No need for exit lines really, you are buying if the description is misleading or the friendliness missing just walk. You do not need to explain to someone who has tried to have you over.

Gameboy121 · « **Reply #9 on:** January 23, 2021, 07:57:41 am »

All good advice. Taxi for Dave! Ha ha. Like that. I will have to learn the Spanish, Romanian and Chinese equivalent. The tip would have been handy in Horsham summer before last. No point in a review. Lets just say cellulo-monster with hands like shovels

oap69 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 24, 2021, 12:00:59 am »

In the present circumstances just start coughing and you will be asked to leave.

Bonker · « **Reply #11 on:** January 24, 2021, 11:32:40 pm »

Quote from: oap69 on January 24, 2021, 12:00:59 am

In the present circumstances just start coughing and you will be asked to leave.

Stiltskin · « **Reply #12 on:** January 25, 2021, 01:36:36 am »

Just tell them you were looking for someone older and fatter.

Bonker · « **Reply #13 on:** January 25, 2021, 03:11:30 pm »

Check your phone and say "oh oh, text from the STD clinic".

beemer44 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 27, 2021, 07:57:25 pm »

Done this before.

Booked someone who ended up working from a residential house but the driveway was empty and the on-road parking was a nightmare. Was parked probably 200m down the road. Door opens and she looks nothing like profile photos and about 4 dress sizes bigger than described.

Somehow I kept a straight face and asked if I could park my car on her driveway. She’s like yeah, no problem I will leave the door on the latch for you. Come upstairs when you’ve parked.

Door could be still on the latch. Jumped in my car and drove off and made a plan B

Cheb100 · « **Reply #15 on:** January 28, 2021, 03:38:28 pm »

A long time ago in Swindon, I failed to read the ad properly which said ‘Mature Woman’ After she answered the door and I went in, she showed me to the room and then asked me what I wanted. To which I replied “do I not get a choice of girl as I’m not into Golden Oldies”. She shrieked “I’m the only one which it states on the ad!! Now get out”. And I ran and ran and binned it for the day.

mk2359 · « **Reply #16 on:** February 03, 2021, 04:28:22 pm »

I can only ever remember walking once that was because the girl was really different from the photos and she was looking to charge me £50 extra. I'm a fan of just being clear and polite. I think I said something along the lines of this isn't what we agreed and I don't really feel like going ahead anymore.

kayak · « **Reply #17 on:** February 12, 2021, 01:07:30 am »

This has actually happened to me more than once, and I apologise that it's on a bit of a tangent.

I remember going into a parlour in Blackburn, many years ago, and the young lass on reception was absolutely stunning, and very welcoming, so I was very excited. She leads me to the room to wait, and the only lady working that day was like the ugly stepmother's grandmother. Obviously I couldn't stay, it would've been awful. The same thing happened again to me in Doncaster a few years ago, and I walked.

They must be quite used to punters walking in situations like that. I don't recall there being any fuss, but I just felt terribly disappointed, and I suppose it would''ve been obvious to the maid and the poor woman who had to accept the rejection.

webpunter · « **Reply #18 on:** February 12, 2021, 02:18:10 am »

The burds will have seen the look
Your reaction etched in your face
It is a noted BMA condition which usually comes on rapidly
From nowhere it would seem
The condition is termed "anticipointment"

dubhcarr · « **Reply #19 on:** February 12, 2021, 02:05:13 pm »

for the fee involved an the deception OP I have said "no this does not work for me". Useful phrase in other walks of life. One memorable visit was a young (22YO) newbie in a hotel maybe day 3 into her new trade and she looked so bad I said you dont want to do this do you? she said no and I said have a nice day and walked. Later I noted that her profile price had been dropped from £120 PH to £80 PH. My view is always that if it does not suit me then there is always another.

law5121 · « **Reply #20 on:** February 14, 2021, 09:24:16 pm »

Pretend my phone has gone off and its a emergency at work (also pretend you work in social care and a Service user has hurt themselves)

joninbristol · « **Reply #21 on:** February 14, 2021, 10:09:48 pm »

I had one in Maidenhead once, years ago.
Claimed to be English, profile obviously written by someone else.
Finally made it past the hotel reception, found her room down some endless maze, and when she opened the door it was obvious a) it wasn't the woman in the profile, and b) she didn't speak a word of English.
No point in explaining anything to her as she didn't understand a word I'd said up to that point, so I just turned and walked off.

jonah45 · « **Reply #22 on:** February 15, 2021, 11:03:39 pm »

I`d just turn around and walk out,no need to make any excuse,if they can happily lie to try and tempt you there,I'd happily say fuck all and just walk

finn5555 · « **Reply #23 on:** February 15, 2021, 11:06:05 pm »

Just say bye 👋

Ronaldjones89 · « **Reply #24 on:** February 19, 2021, 03:59:46 am »

Left wallet in car
Gotta get cash out machine
Have the ad ready and show her the pic - and say thats not you, you dont look the same, and walk off

Private Member · « **Reply #25 on:** February 19, 2021, 04:21:25 pm »

Ask for services you suspect they won't provide and hope they say No.

If they say Yes, then offer a price they won't accept. Then it's just a case of saying you're not prepared to pay what they want, and walk.

If they then call you back - say the moment has gone and you're not feeling it any more.

The danger is of course they say Yes to everything....

Bonker · « **Reply #26 on:** February 19, 2021, 11:30:59 pm »

Rummage around in your pockets. Say: fuck I've left my dick at home.

rk_1985 · « **Reply #27 on:** February 20, 2021, 12:14:45 am »

There was one who looked nothing like the pics - definitely a b&s. I used the line “I changed my mind and walked out”

Nowadays I look back before walking into the room so can make the exit quicker if I ever have to

thundercrackerxx · « **Reply #28 on:** February 27, 2021, 03:11:00 pm »

I ask where the girl in the pictures is as that's who I booked. Then I tell them I'm not interested and leave. Be honest with them. They need to know they can't lie and fake their profiles. Make it clear you are leaving because they are not as advertised.

Itzmurph · « **Reply #29 on:** March 19, 2021, 06:18:02 pm »

And this is another reason why one of the big “rules” of punting ought to be park so you’re facing the direction you need to go to get out. No making of 3 point turns or stuff like that.... you want to get the hell out of there ASAP.

I mean, yes it’s unlikely you’ll ever have problems but the one day you do.... well.

dynatron · « **Reply #30 on:** March 19, 2021, 06:41:19 pm »

ive only had to use this a couple of times i normally say just wondered if you had a window cleaner as im looking to start a round up

The Bear · « **Reply #31 on:** March 20, 2021, 07:59:22 am »

You're not George Formby are you?

Winker121 · « **Reply #32 on:** March 21, 2021, 09:48:45 am »

Quote from: jonah45 on February 15, 2021, 11:03:39 pm

I`d just turn around and walk out,no need to make any excuse,if they can happily lie to try and tempt you there,I'd happily say fuck all and just walk

Sounds reasonable enough to me.

David1970 · « **Reply #33 on:** March 21, 2021, 12:39:51 pm »

Years ago saw an advert in The Sport went along the lines of, “young beautiful and sexy £40hh”. Phoned told yes the description and price were correct, booked and went to punt. Let in by the maid, small round woman in her 50s, asked for the £40, I asked to see the girl, only to be told the maid was the girl. Just told her she was not young, beautiful or sexy and walked, she just shrugged her shoulders. Made me wonder how many punters that visited her actual accept her and carry on with the punt, even though it was such an obvious B&S?

Bikerman · « **Reply #34 on:** March 21, 2021, 02:46:22 pm »

You could always take paper bag for ugly ones... tell them its a fetish of yours to not see face

pa5151 · « **Reply #35 on:** March 21, 2021, 02:49:20 pm »

Had a girl from SA over. Only it turned out to be a women in her 40s, when her profile said 30.

She arrived at mine. I opened the lights and I asked her straight away "how old are you?". She got the point straight away, "I can leave if you want". (The harsh truth dawned upon her that she's no spring chicken anymore)

And she did

Edwin D · « **Reply #36 on:** March 21, 2021, 04:48:51 pm »

"I want my money back" is the best I've ever come up with. Firmly, and repeating until it happens.

I once had a penchant for lap dancers. Saw an ad that offered it as part of a full service and went along ready to have the bit you don't get in the club, a fantasy ticked off the list. Got there and went into the bedroom, paid my money, sat back with my hands behind my head and she just stripped off everything. I'm telling her that the booking message says lap dance, which I'd confirmed, pointing to my phone. She didn't speak any English, she shouted another girl who came in and mimed what dancing was to her, telling her to get on with it. Suffice to say, the moment passed. I later got a message saying that the lap dancer was asleep in another room if I would like to return. I did not return.

I've been lucky over the years that only two or three I've ever walked from but I'm glad for this thread, giving me some ammunition for any future punts that go wrong from the off!

itk · « **Reply #37 on:** March 21, 2021, 05:03:58 pm »

Last time it was needed was a month ago. A profile on Viva Street which I took a chance on, turned up and as she opened the door was clear enough it wasn’t her on the profile.
I always keep the profile on my phone when I enter so I turned on e phone and said, ‘Sorry, but that’s not you, I’m off.’ showing the picture.
As I left she said some choice words of Eastern European dialect so my parting reply as I left down the main stairwell was ‘Fuck Ya.’

Shel1234 · « **Reply #38 on:** March 21, 2021, 06:18:24 pm »

This exit plans worked for me a couple times:

1. Pretend you misread the 1hr price on her profile.

2. When it’s time to pay her, pretend you’re short by like £40 (Make sure it’s big enough, if it’s only £10 off she may still go forward with the booking).

3. Tell her you’re going down the road to get the rest of the money out, then just don’t return.

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Author Topic: What's your best exit line. (Read 2702 times)