Dating - when would you quit punting?

[The Owl]

This thread is probably aimed more for the singles punters as the married/couples up punters, although they might like to answer in a different way, when would they quit punting, based on if their relationship improved in some way.

Inspired by a thread on SAAFE about escorts dating and when they would give up sex work or try to introduce it to see if a boyfriend was okay with them continuing.

Enough intro, time for the question.

So when would be the right time to quit punting in regards to dating?

Would you quit or temporarily quit when you were looking?

Would you stop punting once you met someone, even if it was in the early stages of just getting to know each other, the attraction being there but nothing is set in stone.

Would you only stop if it became a relationship, even if it wasn't sexually intimate?

Would you only stop once the new relationship had become sexually intimate?

Would you keep punting and test the water indirectly to see if your new partner was in to FFM with an escort, then bring her in on it?

Or would you keep on punting. Punting isn't the same as cheating as it's a service based purchase so no different to entertainment and punting is not about a relationship, it's just a sexual release? Putin's just a hobby.

Over to you.

[Payyourwaymate]

To be completely honest. I don't think I'll ever "quit". I won't be satisfied until I can see myself at the point where I have access to sex at the same level as I do water. It will never be enough until that point. I would have been better off not punting in the first place if I still wanted to have a normal relationship without straying. If I was to have a relationship now, it would only be a matter of time before I would have to end it or otherwise I'll stray  .

Punting is like pandoras box, it's too late to go back to how things were once it's opened. I'm not an addict though; that's one thing I'm sure of.

[willie loman]

To be completely honest. I don't think I'll ever "quit". I won't be satisfied until I can see myself at the point where I have access to sex at the same level as I do water. It will never be enough until that point. I would have been better off not punting in the first place if I still wanted to have a normal relationship without straying. If I was to have a relationship now, it would only be a matter of time before I would have to end it or otherwise I'll stray  .

Punting is like pandoras box, it's too late to go back to how things were once it's opened. I'm not an addict though; that's one thing I'm sure of.

agree with this except the idea that you have to end a relationship if you stray.

[Al]

Looking - no
Dating - yes

I would like to think and hope I wouldn't have a need to go punting if I had a partner. But then I only do it as I don't have  a partner - not because I want to try different things/new girls.

I appreciate though that some people end up in miserable relationships or their partner can't fulfil their needs.

I think its pretty dodgy to be punting when you are in a new relationship though when clearly the expectation is you are faithful

For those situations where you been married 15 years and nothing happening in the bedroom, I have more understanding.

[mrfishyfoo]

To be completely honest. I don't think I'll ever "quit". I won't be satisfied until I can see myself at the point where I have access to sex at the same level as I do water. It will never be enough until that point. I would have been better off not punting in the first place if I still wanted to have a normal relationship without straying. If I was to have a relationship now, it would only be a matter of time before I would have to end it or otherwise I'll stray  .

Punting is like pandoras box, it's too late to go back to how things were once it's opened. I'm not an addict though; that's one thing I'm sure of.

HAMMER !!! NAIL !!! HEAD !!!

She'd have to be an amazing woman, a true UNICORN, for me to ever consider monogamy ever again. Which is why I prefer single now.

[hendrix]

No quitting for me until I physically can't do it anymore. I've always punted regardless of whether I was in a relationship or not.

[Nagilum]

Well, it entirely depends on circumstances. Now that I have the girlfriend living with me its harder for me to punt these days. However, you never stop and once a punter always a punter.

[Jimmy83]

As soon as I ask someone out and they say yes, all punts get put on hold.

Here's the thing, I'm not really all that adventurous. I prefer normal sex to anal, my favourite position is missionary or her on top, threesomes sometimes feel like they're a bit too much to handle. I don't need to have sex every day or even every week.

There's not really anything a WG could offer me that a wife couldn't. Plus, I get to experience BB without any of the risks.

I also kind of have a ceiling in terms of looks. After a certain point, it's not possible in my eyes for a woman to get hotter. For example, for me, Jessica Alba is just as hot as April from Milton Keyne's Escorts. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yeah, maybe years down the line the wife may not be offering sex as much anymore. I'd sit down, talk with her, explain that it's something I need every now and then and if not then we'd have to divorce or she'd have to let me see other women. I'd say that I'd let her see other men but the whole point was that she's not havign sex anymore.

[twotight]

there is an article on this site named (when are you to old to punt) that pretty much encompasses my philosophy on punting
but that is when you start to be a lot more careful  after all you can only blame an STD on an ex for so long 

[rowdow]

I'm single now so i'm happy to punt whenever i feel like it. Being able to turn on your punting phone then dropping a few texts and within an hour your balls deep inside a fit bird is truly amazing but there's other things you can't get from an SP.

I like chasing normal girls, the texting, the flirting, taking them to bars, the push/pull, the tension, the better and unlimited access to sex and the emotional connection you can only get from dating a normal girl. Sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze, most of the time it's not but when things open back up, i'll be back on the open market for civvy girls whilst i still punt.

If a relationship develops and the sex is good, i'll stop punting but we'd have to be at least a month or two in by then for me to consider doing so.

[SamOmar]

I go through periods of not punting when I start a relationship however a couple of months later i just can't help myself

[Marsh Mitch]

The romance dies with your partner after a while. Our mind and body need something new from time to time.

[Henchmanlet95]

I honestly can't ever see myself settling down so have no plans to quit punting anytime soon, the convenience is what makes it so great. Being able shag stunners at a moments notice just by sending a simple text is something that just doesn't happen in the real world unless you're extremely good looking yourself or a high status celebrity.

I suppose if I did get a girlfriend I'd like to think I wouldn't cheat with escorts but the problem is the temptation will ALWAYS be there with the amount of options you have in the punting world.

I genuinely can't stand the dating game these days anyway which stops me from pursuing regular girls. Dealing with flakiness, stupid mind games and loads of other bollocks all whilst competing with tons of other bloke just for the chance to shag an okay looking girl who's probably not even that good in bed.

[nike]

No quitting for me until I physically can't do it anymore. I've always punted regardless of whether I was in a relationship or not.

Ditto

[chocolategiver]

Great thread Mr Wise One (The Owl)

I'm pretty sure the only thing that would stop me from punting is death.

Whilst i'm still very much married, my wife wife lost her libido many many years ago. And after a very heart to heart honest talk, she said she wanted my very frequent sexual needs to be satisfied. So she gave her blessing for me to have sex else where. It never occurred to me to go and "pull" other women, when i finally got my head around the thought, i just went to a massage parlour and i've never looked back. I love the smell and touch of a women. My wife still sits and cuddles up with me, well it's more of her with her feet on my thighs and i have to massage them.

I would have preferred to have a full sexual relationship with my wife but mental and medical stuff happens, so i have next best thing and with minimal guilt if any.

So in view of my personal circumstances then no to stopping, it's very much in the words of Delboy "Hunt, Punt and Ski when the snow's right"

[0462Vor]

If I was older I could see myself wanting to see the younger model but if you are young there shouldn't be any reason to, of your partner isn't satisfying you gotta talk about it. Idk how often you point but for me it's a monthly maybe once every couple months and any partner satisfys that easily. not to mention the act is better when you love the partner

[Darrenl]

I stopped punting when I met the wife to be but drifted back into it when I realised she was letting me have sex with her to keep me happy rather than wanting it. I still enjoy the very occasional time when she takes the initiative because she knows what I like but I don't like asking her to do stuff if its a chore. I think she might suspect me but shes willing to turn a blind eye because shes happy not having to have sex. Before I got married I don't think I ever punted when I had a girlfriend.

[Hobbit]

I'll probably keep going until my dick gives up on me or I kick the bucket.

[Slow grinder]

 Never ..... At 68 yrs old and punted for 40 yrs ... The only time I'd stop is if I couldn't get an SP to see me (and they'll always be someone who will).

[Greenchilli]

I genuinely can't stand the dating game these days anyway which stops me from pursuing regular girls. Dealing with flakiness, stupid mind games and loads of other bollocks all whilst competing with tons of other bloke just for the chance to shag an okay looking girl who's probably not even that good in bed.

True , Civvies also have big checklist , lot of guys on waiting list and back burner , guy from office she fancies and are not sure/serious about what they are looking for. They seem to like men who are not desperate for action too early in the game . So atleast getting shag somewhere else ups your game as this sends confusing signals to her as to whether you like/attracted to her and how come you are not so desperate as others . At minimum till a man is in 'relationship' having shag somewhere else is highly recommended 

[Munter84]

Impossible to say for sure but I suppose I would stop at the point that "playing away from home" started feeling like cheating. I could imagine continuing to see FS/FBSM providers while casually dating, if I was in a loving relationship I suspect I would feel like a bit of a scumbag. If the missus was by some miracle OK with it and was happy to let me do my thing, or even join in? I would pinch myself to check it wasn't a dream.

[Belgarion]

When we get to the stage where we are exclusive, I stop punting.

That's my usual approach. Would be great if I found a partner that was open to bringing in a paid participant on occasion.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

When we get to the stage where we are exclusive, I stop punting.

That's my usual approach. Would be great if I found a partner that was open to bringing in a paid participant on occasion.

Well its not unknown for some on here to have such marridges and or relationships.

I never belived in "Cinq a sept" roughly  french for five to seven its the time when the averge Parisian bloke can see his mistress with this wifes implied consent, a sort of don't ask don't tell but she knows he does it, it tends to keep him with her whilst getting i his jollies elsewhere. Quite sensible really.

I never belived it till i heard it from a couple of frenchmen who lived in Paris, seems its the done thing but is never spoken of..

Seems sensibele and civilised to my mind:)

[Stevelondon]

Monogamy is a very difficult concept. Not only for men. An awful lot of females stray from the relationship too.

It’s this idea that sex in a couples relationship is somehow sacred. But that of course is only a religious viewpoint.

Why can’t sex just be an enjoyable physical activity....... like playing golf with a member of the opposite sex.

For me, punting and not having an emotional involvement is far better than me having an affair or having a mistress and everything that in itself involves. 

It’s a difficult subject.
How many married punters would like it if their partners were having sex with male prostitutes

[MissWolf]

Monogamy is a very difficult concept. Not only for men. An awful lot of females stray from the relationship too.

It’s this idea that sex in a couples relationship is somehow sacred. But that of course is only a religious viewpoint.

Why can’t sex just be an enjoyable physical activity....... like playing golf with a member of the opposite sex.

For me, punting and not having an emotional involvement is far better than me having an affair or having a mistress and everything that in itself involves. 

It’s a difficult subject.
How many married punters would like it if their partners were having sex with male prostitutes

This 100%

As a woman I would much rather my partner visit an escort than have an affair as long as it was a reciprocal arrangement or that we went swinging, I honestly don't think that humans are made to be monogamous.

[xyfek]

This 100%

As a woman I would much rather my partner visit an escort than have an affair as long as it was a reciprocal arrangement or that we went swinging, I honestly don't think that humans are made to be monogamous.

I think the keyword here is the emotional involvement. The physical act of having sex is just that, sometimes you enjoy it more, others less. But when emotions are involved, people invariably end up getting hurt. That's why it's often very difficult to sustain a friend with benefits relationship, even a long-term arrangement with a regular SP or SB. Emotions can develop in a one-sided way, and we all know how that's going to end!

My answer to the OP is precisely that - I stop punting as soon as there's some emotional involvement with the woman I'm dating. Unfortunately, I don't get to that stage very often.

[DavieOne]

As soon as we’re exclusive, I’d stop. Guilt would kill me otherwise 

[rubric]

I've had a few breaks when on serious relationships, and generally haven't punted during them.  For me punting has it's attractions, and a relationship provides different things.

[mace-window]

This thread is probably aimed more for the singles punters as the married/couples up punters, although they might like to answer in a different way, when would they quit punting, based on if their relationship improved in some way.
Inspired by a thread on SAAFE about escorts dating and when they would give up sex work or try to introduce it to see if a boyfriend was okay with them continuing.
Enough intro, time for the question.
Over to you.

I always find it funny how escorts think a typical guy would be ok with them continuing sex work and think they can have their cake and eat it. But that’s for another thread that already been discussed for months now.

Back to the question:

So when would be the right time to quit punting in regards to dating?

Would you stop punting once you met someone, even if it was in the early stages of just getting to know each other, the attraction being there but nothing is set in stone.

Would you only stop once the new relationship had become sexually intimate?

For me, I would quit punting if I find someone with none of red flags and adds something to my life besides the sex after 6 months to year and half of dating. That if I find a good partner in today’s dating climate. I would also add to that list is if she make the relationship exclusive to me and I feel she is the right one for me, stop dating other guys, stop going on night out to clubs with her friends, the sex continues at a regular basis, not in debt or student loan over a non-STEM degree, stop talking to her ex’s and etc…

Would you only stop if it became a relationship, even if it wasn't sexually intimate?

Yes I would stop escorting if it became a relationship and she fits all my criteria for a partner though I would not do so if there was not much sex in our dating/pre relationship stage.

And you don’t need me telling anyone here this but sex is very important to most men and to answer the second part of the question, I don’t want to be trapped in a relationship were the sex is gone once she hooks me in. And if the sex wasn’t sexually at the beginning stages then it is a sure sign she does not find me attractive and only want relationship for security reasons. And trust me that same lady that been standing you up for sex after 6 dates but wants a relationship with you has likely fucked high value man or more attractive guy than yourself (or a guy that jumps her funny bones) on the 1st – 3rd date or after meeting the that same guy at the club in the first 10 minutes of introducing each other. Don’t be fooled, women are as sexually as men and most women likely will try to sleep with you enthusiastically at multiple of times if they find you attractive, feel comfortable around you and like you. And if she aren’t that into you but want a relationship then she is trying to use you.

Would you keep punting and test the water indirectly to see if your new partner was in to FFM with an escort, then bring her in on it?

No. I am an old school type of guy when it comes to relationships and believe in being exclusive with your partner. I am no mean a religious guy but I keep things like relationships old school in a way. If I am in a relationship with someone, it is right to expect her to think that I am only exclusive with her. I would be a hypocrite if I say otherwise especially after commenting on WG’s thinking it is ok to have a relationship while working as an escort.

I am not into these new age open relationships as I think such relationships is a place for women to sleep with as many partners freely without being judged and have that security to come back to and keep that empty relationships status going while the guy struggles to get one woman outside of his relationship to bang.  So no FFM threesomes with my partner.  Though if I was in Friends with benefits relationships then another question will have to be asked and think about if you don’t want your punting hobby to come out to the public, to your friends or family. Such questions like would it be wise to open up to such things with civve woman in a Friend with benefit relationship, a new girlfriend or someone in your personally life? If she is known to be a vindictive person can you trust that person to keep a secret if you had a fight over something? And you won’t know someone personality fully after entering a relationship with a girl around 6 months of dating. So the threesome with an escort question has to be thought about a lot if I was thinking of having a threesome with a practically person – that if you don’t care if people know you see escorts from time to time. For me I rather have a FFM threesome with escorts, two FWB civve ladies who are down with such sexual activities or with a civve FWB lady if I can choice the escort and tell that escort to act like she never known me before to not give a hint that I been seeing escorts for a while.  Either way it is better to not mix personally life with sexually business.

Or would you keep on punting. Punting isn't the same as cheating as it's a service based purchase so no different to entertainment and punting is not about a relationship, it's just a sexual release? Putin's just a hobby.

I kind of answered this question before but to be more direct, I would not continue punting if I was in a committed relationship as when it comes to relationships I believe in being exclusive with your partner. Some people will not agree with this but I do consider punting while in a relationship is cheating. Though I fully understand why punters do that and therefore find it more of a dick move for that partner to stop the sex once in a committed relationship/marriage with kids, especially how bad divorce is for most men. Then she acts shocked that her husband is seeing WGs and is a member of UKP (what did you expect). Then she divorces him and take half due to her finding out smh…. Yes sex can be a physically/sexual release to us men but it is can also be emotionally release to our loves one as well. And when our love one refuse to have sex with us, it is heart breaking to some men and is more difficult for men to leave sex/love less marriages without suffering physically and mentally.

This is one of reasons why I don’t want to get married by the way as you can’t leave a relationship without losing a leg and an arm as well as not seeing your kids that often anymore if other half decides to stop putting in the effort after hooking you in. And if I am in a relationship and she stops giving me sex for no good reason I can leave without too much of a trouble and pick off were I stopped and continue seeing escorts or civve ladies.

Would you quit or temporarily quit when you were looking?

Finally I would not stop punting if I was looking for a relationship or a hook up. Though I doubt I would be in a relationship in the west in today’s climate. Anyways going on dates or swapping on Tinder for sex is a waste of times sorry. And if I want to be with 7/10 or above lady (or any lady that is 6/10 or lower who thinks she is a 10/10), I will have to work harder to play her games to sleep or be with a relationship which such person. And again most of today’s modern ladies these days want to make the average guy to wait for the sex/relationship while letting a high value guy or a more attractive guy to have his wicked ways with her at any time he feels like. And this monkey dance is a waste my time. Time that can be used on other activities like hanging out with friends, other hobbies, improving my skills in my interests or work, spending time with the family, getting fit, investing, working extra hours at work for that bonus or pay raise, going on holidays and etc…..

And the matter of fact most ladies are seeing multiple of guys before making that one relationship exclusive. So in a way most women are doing the same thing as a single punter if he is looking for a relationship while punting minus paying for the sex. Let face it, it is lot harder for most single guys to get some action or relationship these days with a fairly attractive woman if you don’t have the three 66’s. That and it only get easier to sleep around or have a relationship with the opposite sex if she is unattractive and slutty or that woman is in mid-30’s and has hit the wall and only seeing you as you’re her only option for a relationship and marriage. The same women who would likely not look at twice at your direction or treated you badly in her prime (in her 20’s and early 30’s) in looks while chasing the high value guys. In that case I just see her nothing more as FWB relationship.

In the end it is much more easier to see a well-reviewed attractive escort who enthusiastically fucks your brains out than to waste time on multiple dates on a civve women who somewhat likes you and end up waiting for subpar sex while not seeing escorts on the side.

And like Payyourwaymate and mrfishyfoo as pointed out:

Punting is like pandoras box, it's too late to go back to how things were once it's opened. I'm not an addict though; that's one thing I'm sure of.

She'd have to be an amazing woman, a true UNICORN, for me to ever consider monogamy ever again. Which is why I prefer single now.

Which I also agree with both view points.

This video by Better Bachelor (External Link/Members Only) around 20:10 minutes – 33:00 minutes kind of sums up some of my points here.

[JonasG]

I think I would temporarily quit but how long that would last is another matter!

I can envisage the pull of punting would eventually draw me back in though tbh. But I really don't want the hassle of trying not to get caught, sounds like a mindfuck.

As someone else said, once you start punting regularly in the UK solo (not including abroad punts here and there) things do change and they really aren't ever the same again.

[Horseman]

I'd stop punting as soon as I was in any sort of relationship situation - basically from the dating stage onwards.

I've never punted whilst in a relationship and I never would.

On a similar note I would end a relationship if I wasn't getting the amount/quality of sex that I wanted. Sex is important to me and I just wouldn't stay with someone if we weren't compatible.

[nbarnes]

Once we were considered 'exclusive' - I would stop punting.
Cheating is sexual infidelity - whether you are paying for it with money or taking a girl home from the bar, its the same thing.
A bad one night stand can be more cold and mechanical than a good punt and vice-versa.

Punting is a relatively rare thing for me (the 7 week itch). I reach a point where i MUST touch\fuck a woman and then I set up a punt
OR my other pattern for punting is slow and methodical work through my hotlist\bucket list of sexual things

If I was getting it from the OH all the time, I wouldn't need to stray.
Generally speaking, the right woman will want to tick things off my sexual bucket list (as well as hers) - so there wouldn't be a reason for me to see an SP.

[LLPunting]

To be completely honest. I don't think I'll ever "quit". I won't be satisfied until I can see myself at the point where I have access to sex at the same level as I do water. It will never be enough until that point. I would have been better off not punting in the first place if I still wanted to have a normal relationship without straying. If I was to have a relationship now, it would only be a matter of time before I would have to end it or otherwise I'll stray  .

Punting is like pandoras box, it's too late to go back to how things were once it's opened. I'm not an addict though; that's one thing I'm sure of.

If you profess and feel "love" for a sexual partner then in most cultures that entails monogamy as a declaration of commitment to that person, that they are "special" enough to be enough (if not "more than my heart can desire".  IF you subscribe to that cultural norm then not being able to keep it in your pants from other civvies and SPs means that you have a compulsion beyond your control, that is addiction.

External Link/Members Only
External Link/Members Only

If you're spending more than you should/can afford on punting then you potentially have an addiction to sex and/or punting, depending on how disruptive it is to your other quality of life wants, needs and responsibilities.

I know I am addicted to sex above all other indulgences I use to escape boredom, chores, situations I don't want to deal with, absence of sex with a civvy, etc.  Why is it an addiction and not a simple preference?  Because I spend money on it under a different value paradigm than anything else in my life.  I will refrain from 50 quid on a good meal or the theatre or a game, hundreds on a phone or white good, thousands on a PC or a holiday or towards a house deposit but I could easily spend those amounts on punting in a day/week/month/year regardless of the physical beauty of the females involved.  I don't need it every moment, I don't think about it every moment BUT I know that if I don't get it soon after I want it I will begin to seek it at the expense of other things.

Addiction doesn't have to be chronic to the point it destroys your life and I'm lucky enough that hasn't quite happened so far.  During lockdown it has been a struggle vs shielding commitments to others but were I living on my own I would've been punting despite full awareness of the specific callousness of the behaviour.

Before I punted, I would commit to monogamy when I was dating, since I started punting/seeking arrangements I am more likely to indulge in sex outside of dating or a relationship ( I can't speak for marriage).  I know that I would (foolishly) commit to monogamy but that would only last as long as sex with my partner was consistently sufficient, even if we were otherwise getting along very well.

[LLPunting]

Great thread Mr Wise One (The Owl)

I'm pretty sure the only thing that would stop me from punting is death.

Whilst i'm still very much married, my wife wife lost her libido many many years ago. And after a very heart to heart honest talk, she said she wanted my very frequent sexual needs to be satisfied. So she gave her blessing for me to have sex else where. It never occurred to me to go and "pull" other women, when i finally got my head around the thought, i just went to a massage parlour and i've never looked back. I love the smell and touch of a women. My wife still sits and cuddles up with me, well it's more of her with her feet on my thighs and i have to massage them.

I would have preferred to have a full sexual relationship with my wife but mental and medical stuff happens, so i have next best thing and with minimal guilt if any.

So in view of my personal circumstances then no to stopping, it's very much in the words of Delboy "Hunt, Punt and Ski when the snow's right"

You're one of the "fortunate" ones in being able to reach such an extraordinary agreement and I'm sorry for you wife's condition.   
Most of us here have clearly not been so lucky.

Ironically skiing could well be one of the few things to satisfy me enough to distract from my want for sex, alas previous attempts to escape to the mountains have not worked out and subsequently paying for sex has prevented more attempts.   Climate change, immigration criteria and local labour and home ownership laws notwithstanding.

[LLPunting]

This 100%

As a woman I would much rather my partner visit an escort than have an affair as long as it was a reciprocal arrangement or that we went swinging, I honestly don't think that humans are made to be monogamous.

The media and society would have us believe you're a rare woman, some here would consider such an outlook enlightened or pragmatic, how broadly is this attitude shared by the other women you're acquainted with (especially non-SPs)?  If it isn't widely shared is it because of the stereotypical dogma spouted in society or is there more surprising nuance to it?

[niceguy30!!]

When the relationship starts her legs will be open constantly. You'll be getting plenty and it'll be better every time. 5 years in it'll be weekly, and you'll start to look into wgs, 10 yrs in you'll be going to wgs for 95% of your sex.
Keep your cock Slightly in the game keep an eye who'd like to do because before you know it your fit new missus is a frumpy frigid miserable cow who won't even do special occasion sex.

[belamy85]

Mace-Window

Won't quote you as your post was so long...

I can't say I agree with everything you've written but it was certainly a thought provoking read for which I want to say thanks. It really has got my brain working. Lots to mull over...

I came to this site for SP reviews but it's proving to offer a lot more. There's a very interesting community here with POVs I've never considered. It's mind expanding!

[mace-window]

Mace-Window

Won't quote you as your post was so long...

I can't say I agree with everything you've written but it was certainly a thought provoking read for which I want to say thanks. It really has got my brain working. Lots to mull over...

I came to this site for SP reviews but it's proving to offer a lot more. There's a very interesting community here with POVs I've never considered. It's mind expanding!

Well UKP or more accurately punters all come from all kinds of places and aren't all old white guys in a sexless marriage. Like another thread call "are they any punters under 30", they are variety of punters that come in all shapes and sizes  .  Anyways hope to see more of you here pal as a newbie and maybe a couple of reviews here.

[belamy85]

Well UKP or more accurately punters all come from all kinds of places and aren't all old white guys in a sexless marriage. Like another thread call "are they any punters under 30", they are variety of punters that come in all shapes and sizes  .  Anyways hope to see more of you here pal as a newbie and maybe a couple of reviews here.

I'll definitely be on the message boards. My plan is to wait for full lockdown restrictions to end before venturing out again... But as soon as I do I'm looking forward to honing my review skills.

[mace-window]

I'll definitely be on the message boards. My plan is to wait for full lockdown restrictions to end before venturing out again... But as soon as I do I'm looking forward to honing my review skills.

 

[coconut101]

Excellent thread. Probably never is the answer chaps. Just the thought of being able to shag a sexy WG who will meet all sexual needs albeit for a price. The convenience is so good. Punting is global. I just dont believe in having sex with a single woman, even if you are in love with them.

Ive kept on punting while in relationships with great sex. I punt more when single and on thw whole am happier single. With UKP and ISG every time there is a conference or a holiday, you guessed it - the local scene is checked and homework done. Always ends up good. Before the virus holiday destinations were chosen purely on the sex scene available. The amount of money wasted by going on nights out with friends, trying to pull some half drunk below average girls that you dont even get to fuck - what a waste of my health, time and money! Dating is another form of wasting money - unless you like the company; Im just interested in the sex! Ha! Punting is the greatest thing to happen in my life. Years ago, before UKP it was a bit more hit and miss. Still punted once a week. Amazing ladies. Great sex. Developed good chemistry without getting emotionally involved in any shape or form. saved money by not wasting it on dinner dates, nights outs, coffee dates etc rather pay £150/hr and be done with it. Rest of the time is for my mental and physical well being, spent solely on me of which punting, along with exercise, good food and quality self improvement and career development are all a part of. No OH or kids to worry about.

Cannot wait for this pandemic to be over, im going on a fuckathon!

[Fuggedaboutit]

As a widower, I'm looking to date/find a new life partner. Depending on who I meet and what our sex life is like, yes, I'll probably give up (or cut down massively), especially with regard to completely vanilla punting. But for non vanilla aspects, most likely not.

[Payyourwaymate]

If you profess and feel "love" for a sexual partner then in most cultures that entails monogamy as a declaration of commitment to that person, that they are "special" enough to be enough (if not "more than my heart can desire".  IF you subscribe to that cultural norm then not being able to keep it in your pants from other civvies and SPs means that you have a compulsion beyond your control, that is addiction.

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If you're spending more than you should/can afford on punting then you potentially have an addiction to sex and/or punting, depending on how disruptive it is to your other quality of life wants, needs and responsibilities.

I know I am addicted to sex above all other indulgences I use to escape boredom, chores, situations I don't want to deal with, absence of sex with a civvy, etc.  Why is it an addiction and not a simple preference?  Because I spend money on it under a different value paradigm than anything else in my life.  I will refrain from 50 quid on a good meal or the theatre or a game, hundreds on a phone or white good, thousands on a PC or a holiday or towards a house deposit but I could easily spend those amounts on punting in a day/week/month/year regardless of the physical beauty of the females involved.  I don't need it every moment, I don't think about it every moment BUT I know that if I don't get it soon after I want it I will begin to seek it at the expense of other things.

Addiction doesn't have to be chronic to the point it destroys your life and I'm lucky enough that hasn't quite happened so far.  During lockdown it has been a struggle vs shielding commitments to others but were I living on my own I would've been punting despite full awareness of the specific callousness of the behaviour.

Before I punted, I would commit to monogamy when I was dating, since I started punting/seeking arrangements I am more likely to indulge in sex outside of dating or a relationship ( I can't speak for marriage).  I know that I would (foolishly) commit to monogamy but that would only last as long as sex with my partner was consistently sufficient, even if we were otherwise getting along very well.

According to those norms, those are social constructs as you mentioned and I agree that one could argue that if one did subscribe to those norms and still acted out then they could be classified as an addict. However, go back hundreds to thousands of years and men having harems and multiple wives was the norm. The men at the top (Kings etc) had dozens of concubines and mistresses, do you reckon they were considered sex addicts? Even now in other cultures having multiple wives is still the norm. No one says they are addicts, they just get shamed by western standards instead. Whilst in the western world men with money or high social influence now have access to sex from multiple women, are they addicts? Look at primates closely related to humans and the alpha male gets access to all the females, why is the alpha male gorilla or chimpanzee not professing their love to one female but takes all the females to themselves? Are they sex addicts aswell?  I think the design of modern social constructs has had too much of an impact on male behaviour sexually that it is difficult to truly understand where the lines are of a man being a sex addict because they have sex with a lot of women or if men were always meant to go out and strive to have sex with many women through their nature; it is the boundaries of societal living and social conditioning that has restricted many men from being able to act on their desires. Can you think of many men that would decline the access to many women and just choose one alone if they had the option to do so, excluding all other factors like love, commitments, money, judgement etc?

I think with sex the lines are more blurred from what is an addiction and what is not. In my opinion, the desire to have sex among men is a hard struck between a physical need and a want. There's a biological directive to have sex for the sake of procreation but also a want for the physical pleasure. It's different from other addictions as the drive to pro-create and sexual behaviour is embedded in men to an extent through testosterone. Do you reckon there is a chemical imbalance or dependency as seen when dealing with other addictions such as drug addictions? Are there even any studies for sex addiction in men? I have not really seen any, although I have not looked hard for them.

I honestly think sex should have been put under physiological needs in maslow's hierarchy of needs. Is there any man here that can honestly say after going through an extensive period or any time period where they did not have sex it did not affect their lives in a negative manner? They did not feel like their normal selves or the balance was not fully there? Does that make one an addict then?

I would only conclude one is a sex addict if they compromise other aspects of their lives just to have sex as you have also mentioned. If they have a good balance with every other aspect of their life, but just happen to have sex a lot, I would not classify them as an addict personally.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Ever read that book;

"The Selfish Gene"?...

[LLPunting]

According to those norms, those are social constructs as you mentioned and I agree that one could argue that if one did subscribe to those norms and still acted out then they could be classified as an addict. However, go back hundreds to thousands of years and men having harems and multiple wives was the norm. The men at the top (Kings etc) had dozens of concubines and mistresses, do you reckon they were considered sex addicts? Even now in other cultures having multiple wives is still the norm. No one says they are addicts, they just get shamed by western standards instead. Whilst in the western world men with money or high social influence now have access to sex from multiple women, are they addicts? Look at primates closely related to humans and the alpha male gets access to all the females, why is the alpha male gorilla or chimpanzee not professing their love to one female but takes all the females to themselves? Are they sex addicts aswell?  I think the design of modern social constructs has had too much of an impact on male behaviour sexually that it is difficult to truly understand where the lines are of a man being a sex addict because they have sex with a lot of women or if men were always meant to go out and strive to have sex with many women through their nature; it is the boundaries of societal living and social conditioning that has restricted many men from being able to act on their desires. Can you think of many men that would decline the access to many women and just choose one alone if they had the option to do so, excluding all other factors like love, commitments, money, judgement etc?

I think with sex the lines are more blurred from what is an addiction and what is not. In my opinion, the desire to have sex among men is a hard struck between a physical need and a want. There's a biological directive to have sex for the sake of procreation but also a want for the physical pleasure. It's different from other addictions as the drive to pro-create and sexual behaviour is embedded in men to an extent through testosterone. Do you reckon there is a chemical imbalance or dependency as seen when dealing with other addictions such as drug addictions? Are there even any studies for sex addiction in men? I have not really seen any, although I have not looked hard for them.

I honestly think sex should have been put under physiological needs in maslow's hierarchy of needs. Is there any man here that can honestly say after going through an extensive period or any time period where they did not have sex it did not affect their lives in a negative manner? They did not feel like their normal selves or the balance was not fully there? Does that make one an addict then?

I would only conclude one is a sex addict if they compromise other aspects of their lives just to have sex as you have also mentioned. If they have a good balance with every other aspect of their life, but just happen to have sex a lot, I would not classify them as an addict personally.

Yup, that's the biological, pre-modern society counterpoint, nature:nurture, totally agree.   All these things are labels, addiction is nothing more than a behavioural descriptor ascribed negative, condemnatory meaning at least colloquially.  Just like cheating, polygamy, free-loving, just good ol' human civilising BS.   

But in this "reality" you live in this society and your prospective mates may well do too, and as much as you try to find the permissive, rational, honest other to complete you, Life's likely to throw you a breaker and drop a Love into your life with a few significant caveats. 
Are you making your own Fate by seeking out polyamorous girls, do you adhere to a faith that enshrines polygamy?   

The OP question was inherently biased and all the answers thus far pretty much conformed to that bias even when we admitted to not giving up punting. 

With all the media hype about the progressive relationship experimentation and gender fluidity expressed by younger adults, some must be punting to address shortfalls in their sexual indulgence.   

[Payyourwaymate]

Ever read that book;

"The Selfish Gene"?...

No, can you elaborate please?

[Payyourwaymate]

Yup, that's the biological, pre-modern society counterpoint, nature:nurture, totally agree.   All these things are labels, addiction is nothing more than a behavioural descriptor ascribed negative, condemnatory meaning at least colloquially.  Just like cheating, polygamy, free-loving, just good ol' human civilising BS.   

But in this "reality" you live in this society and your prospective mates may well do too, and as much as you try to find the permissive, rational, honest other to complete you, Life's likely to throw you a breaker and drop a Love into your life with a few significant caveats. 
Are you making your own Fate by seeking out polyamorous girls, do you adhere to a faith that enshrines polygamy?   

The OP question was inherently biased and all the answers thus far pretty much conformed to that bias even when we admitted to not giving up punting. 

With all the media hype about the progressive relationship experimentation and gender fluidity expressed by younger adults, some must be punting to address shortfalls in their sexual indulgence.   

I hear you, there's pros and cons to be fair. I think monogamous relationships leading to the production of the "nuclear family" do have there role to play in keeping the structure of society rolling and to a degree I don't think there is anything wrong with that. However, it just seems those with some form of power, whether than be economical, social or both do not follow the same playbook when you dig down deeper. It's more of a rule for thee for the masses and not for me game. Although, at the same time; it would be absolute chaos if every man was just trying to follow their desires with an everyman for themeselves mentality only. The social hierarchy would probably be more polarized towards few men having access to everything whilst the rest have nothing. Though it can already be argued to be occurring even now. It's more complicated than just saying will you stop punting if you get into a relationship. Hmmm...oh well.

[Simmo87]

Slighty off topic, but in the general theme of the the thread.

The general concensus seems to be once your an item and have the pink and fluffy feelings= no punting

I dont mean to piss on anyones bonfire but I have worked to doors for overs 10 years in a nothern city were girls tend to go on a girls weekends, hen nights or post uni reunions.

I can say from what I witnessed on the doors in those 10+ years is that the females are far far worse than us.

I have witnessed, uncountable numbers of hens on there hen night tapping off, and leaving with blokes. Ive shagged 2 hens on there hen night plus my fellow door supervisors had shagged many more (conservative estimate 30+)
kicked one hen out for getting spit roasted in the blokes bog, seen one hen suck off a group of sqaddies. Caught far more shagging in fire escapes and alleys.

Heard 1000s of drunken rants in the smoking area about there sexless marriages, and how nice I am and how there just withholding sex to punish hubby/bf. I could write several paragraphs about what Ive seen but to summerise.

'were all adults on this site so on own head be it if you punt' and if you do I say 'fair game to you' because if you in an unhappy sexless relationship, I bet your O/H is not!!

[Watts.E.Dunn]

No, can you elaborate please?

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[LLPunting]

Slighty off topic, but in the general theme of the the thread.

The general concensus seems to be once your an item and have the pink and fluffy feelings= no punting

I dont mean to piss on anyones bonfire but I have worked to doors for overs 10 years in a nothern city were girls tend to go on a girls weekends, hen nights or post uni reunions.

I can say from what I witnessed on the doors in those 10+ years is that the females are far far worse than us.

I have witnessed, uncountable numbers of hens on there hen night tapping off, and leaving with blokes. Ive shagged 2 hens on there hen night plus my fellow door supervisors had shagged many more (conservative estimate 30+)
kicked one hen out for getting spit roasted in the blokes bog, seen one hen suck off a group of sqaddies. Caught far more shagging in fire escapes and alleys.

Heard 1000s of drunken rants in the smoking area about there sexless marriages, and how nice I am and how there just withholding sex to punish hubby/bf. I could write several paragraphs about what Ive seen but to summerise.

'were all adults on this site so on own head be it if you punt' and if you do I say 'fair game to you' because if you in an unhappy sexless relationship, I bet your O/H is not!!

Whilst withholding is universal because that's the biological dynamic your observed local societal behaviour is not as prevalent everywhere  else.  If it were then all manner of men would be getting plenty of extra from plenty of all manner of women out to get extra.  Anecdotal evidence from men and their social circle of men and women and their social circles of women do not describe a bacchanalia of rutting to satisfy the gods.  There'd be no sex industry if there were because no one would need punting or porn or the con that is OF et al.