External Link/Members Only1 hour incall: £100. Booking was a couple of months ago. She's since gone off the rota, then come back on.
Comms: Usual Lush procedure. The girl I had booked in advance had cancelled for the rest of that week. When I rang in the morning, given the choice of Avani or Adele, went for Adele.
Location: Digbeth, not the nicest area, wouldn't fancy leaving my car there late at night. Free on street parking nearby if you know where to look. Room was pretty filthy, sheets not clean under the admittedly fresh towel on top, creaky bed, place needed a hoover. The shower was fucking disgusting, no way was I getting in that, and there was a massive hole in the floor of the bathroom.
The girl: Answered the door in civvies, and not particularly nice civvies - baggyish trousers and top. No make-up, hair kind of messed up. I don't expect them to be done up like we're going for tea at the Ritz, but make a bit of an effort! Face was ok, nothing special, natural blonde-ish hair, suspected there was actually a decent body hidden under her clothes. She's Russian, mid to late 20s I guess.
The action: Handed over the cash, she took it away to stash it and came back in. Usually they ask what you like, maybe what you've been up to that day, or if you're lucky jump straight onto you for a snog, but she just stood there. Tried to have a bit of a chat and wish I hadn't bothered. She kept doing this weird hysterical giggling at completely random points in the conversation. If I hadn't already paid, I would have walked there and then, but I couldn't be arsed arguing with Lush on the phone over £100 that I'm almost certainly not getting back, so decided to get my kit off and see what happens.
She strips out of her civvies and she's got an all in one thing which, to be fair, does look good on her. Cracking arse, shapely legs, small-ish but nicely formed boobs, flat stomach. Bit of a thoroughbred really.
She's still just standing there, though, so I move in for a kiss and she starts that giggling again. Now I'm thinking maybe that chat with Lush isn't such a bad idea, but eventually she stops and we get on the bed for some DFK. Actually really nice for the 30 seconds she does it for. Then she reaches for the condom, I'm thinking what the fuck, we've just started! I said 'steady on, we've got an hour', trying to keep it light, and she kind of sarcastically says 'ooh, we've got an hour'. I wasn't having that, so I said we can make it half an hour if you give me £40 back. She wasn't too keen on that idea, funnily enough.
Got her to give me some OWO and it's really pretty good, and she does carry on for a few minutes. She said 'don't touch my hair'. I thought 'your hair looks like shit, love,' but whatever.
She reaches for the condom again, but I give her a look and she gets the message and puts it back. I kiss her neck and she starts the giggling. I move to her tits and she starts the giggling. I get to her pussy, more giggling. I'm thinking the only time she hasn't been giggling is when my cock was in her mouth, so I say let's 69. She says ok, you on top. Interesting. Was not expecting that, but I thought why not.
This is where the punt completely flipped, turned upside down. She was really getting in to it, bucking away and pretty much DTing me. I slide a finger in and she loves it, so I slide two in and she loves it even more. I've got my arms around the outside of her legs like you would in normal 69, so i can't get my fingers too deep, and she grabs my arms out of the way, spreads her legs as far as they'll go and sticks my hand back. Things are really looking up here! Then she grabs my arse and gets me facefucking her, not too hard cos I can't see what I'm doing and I don't want to hurt her, but she's controlling the pace with her hands anyway.
Honestly, it was fucking brilliant and I'm pretty sure she came, contractions on my fingers and she pulled my head away from licking her clit cos she's too sensitive.
She took a couple of minutes to get her breath back and went for the condom. Still earlier than I'd have liked, but she seems in a good mood for the first time in the punt and I didn't want to ruin it. Not the best mindset to have during a punt, but it seemed like the best way to play it. She says 'you on top', I'm thinking who's paying who here, so I say 'you on top'. She's fine with that.
Jumps on board and she's riding me like the Tasmanian Devil. Really going for it, biting my neck and scratching my chest (no permanent marks but you might want to be a bit careful.) Tight as you like and using her pussy muscles really well. I was planning to hold out for doggy at least, and I rarely come in cowgirl, but she gave me no chance.
She cleaned me up, went to the bathroom to clean herself up and came back in. We still had about 20 minutes left but it didn't look like round 2 was on the cards and I'm a 1 pop guy usually these days anyway. She was still naked, though, and we had a decent chat while I admired her body, weirdly we had a few things in common and she was being totally normal. I was mainly thinking 'why couldn't you have been like this at the start?!'
Says she's submissive on the website - I thought she was pretty fucking far from submissive (not that I was looking for submissive). Maybe it means submissive as in you have to put her in her place a bit, but that's not my style at all. I try to be polite and respectful in the PG rated bits of the punt, so maybe she just thought I was a bit of a pussy at the start. Anyway, I'm not here to psychoanalyse crazy Russian birds.
Overall a neutral, but very little of the punt was neutral - veered between strong negative and strong positive.
Would I return? I would not.
TLDR: Crazy Russian, annoying hysterical giggling, great reverse 69, intense cowgirl.
