Massage Parlour Lingo

[Reddd]

new to this,

can anyone give me a heads up of what's actually on offer at asian massage places?
I have a serious thing for cute asians and walk-ins to see who's available at the time is perfect for me (instead of long pre-bookings)

But what's actually being offered? Some of these places have a list so long I have no idea what's what.
Tantric / B2B / nuru / sensual / 4hands / aqua / fantasy tantric / dark tantric? :/



Also, recommendations around Kings Cross? Close to the station if poss so I can drop by on my way home if I get out the office early

[shaunogg]

Asian massage parlour lingo.
'You want hand job darling'
'You want body to body darling'
'You want blow job darling'

Thats about it in my experiance

[Jester269269]

new to this,


But what's actually being offered? Some of these places have a list so long I have no idea what's what.

I'm the same when I go in Dominoes 

[PleadInsanity]

Even worse in Costa coffee.

[Liverpool]

new to this,

can anyone give me a heads up of what's actually on offer at asian massage places?
I have a serious thing for cute asians and walk-ins to see who's available at the time is perfect for me (instead of long pre-bookings)

But what's actually being offered? Some of these places have a list so long I have no idea what's what.
Tantric / B2B / nuru / sensual / 4hands / aqua / fantasy tantric / dark tantric? :/



Also, recommendations around Kings Cross? Close to the station if poss so I can drop by on my way home if I get out the office early

From experience a lot of those services are provided in much the same way at the massage parlours i.e badly. Seek more professional services than Chinese massage parlours for tantric etc. As for four hands, it's pretty much as it says on the tin, you get two girls massaging you. Again from experience you get (usually) one attractive girl and one absolute munter that used to have a pork chop tied to her neck just so the dog would play with her. In terms of extras in four hands it's double what you would pay one girl to wank you off etc. Lastly as always, request a massage that is no more than medium in strength. You will come out with more aches than just the one between the legs you went in with should you go for a strong massage. Don't know about Kings Cross for recommendations, sorry.

[LL]

Here's some lingo applicable in Soho. If she shouts, "the cops!" - that's code for, get your pants back on and try not to get arrested.

[pewpewpew]

Seriously b2b is body to body where she gets nude and massages you with her body. If a place offers 4 hands that's almost a guarantee that you'll be offered a handjob at that place regardless of what massage you go for. Be careful though. I accidently got a thai massage a few weeks back without a happy ending. Just a massage. What is the world coming to?

[Expl1cit]

Firstly, many asian massage places provide far more than just a rub - they are actually brothels in disguise!  Not all, but a good number of them.  The walk in option is quite interesting, being presented with a selection of girls to choose from, just like that scene from Rush Hour.  I haven't visited one of these places in a long time and i've no desire to set foot in one either.

Whats on offer is fairly straightforward.  £40~£50 for a 1hr legit massage plus £20~£30 for a hand job, and an additional £20 if you want her to strip off & do a body to body massage for five minutes (B2B).  No such thing as tantric in these type of places other than additional money for the same thing.  4 hands just means two massueses, and Nuru is an alternative gel to baby oil - its more slippery and more expensive.  Its very unlikely you will get authentic nuru gel.

Best advice is to just walk into one, go for a 30min normal massage which should only set you back £30 and see if any extra services take your fancy.  In Kings Cross there are a couple of reviewed places i) Kings Cross Beauty 319 and ii) Bamboo Natural Therapy.  Googling the titles will get you the phone numbers and locations.  I haven't personally visited either of them

[fredpunter]

Asian massage parlour lingo.
'You want hand job darling'
'You want body to body darling'
'You want blow job darling'

Thats about it in my experiance

You're luckier than me ... only once have I been offered a blow job and she subsequently climbed on board and shagged me ... but she never did the massage bit!

B2b frequently just consists of them getting their tits out and rubbing them on you for a minute or two and isn't worth paying extra for imo.

As someone else said only time I've had 4 hands one was reasonably attractive and a good masseuse but over weight ... the other was very over weight, old and ugly and just stroked my hair and kept telling me to play with her arse (clothed) even though it must have been pretty clear to all present I didn't want to.

One time and English masseuse told me she was about to go on a course to get a certificate to say she was qualified in xyz massage in addition to varieties she was already qualified to do. I asked what was the difference between Swedish... Chinese  .... Thai... sensual ... raiki etc because the website wasn't very clear. She said she didn't really know but she had the certificates for all of them 

Summary ... if you get a decent massage with a bit of teasing and a good hand job for total price of about 65 for an hour you are doing OK... anything else is a bonus.

[ryandunn]

first of all if they do full body massages and have shower facilities you're normally in, also do a quick search around on here, chances are someones already reviewed them.
Secondly, be polite and thirdly i've found leaving your wallet on top of your clothes in clear view of the girl with a twenty sticking out is a winner.

[Liverpool]

first of all if they do full body massages and have shower facilities you're normally in, also do a quick search around on here, chances are someones already reviewed them.
Secondly, be polite and thirdly i've found leaving your wallet on top of your clothes in clear view of the girl with a twenty sticking out is a winner.

Having a raging boner when you turn over is a less capitalistic way of showing you want to get wanked off by a middle aged Chinese woman who is alien to the concept of shaving her pussy hair, but each to their own.