There was a young lady from a planet called Eldoradis,
Her fanny was bigger than a Tardis
It looked fine and dandy from the outside,
But what a disappointment when you got inside.
No matter what she tried.
She was never really satisfied.
Long, wide, thick, fat, not even the biggest size
Had any chance of touching the side
She tried everything in sight
Hoping something just might
But despite her being outrageously ravenous
It was just far too cavernous
It was like a wizards sleeve,
Or a black hole, swallowing all.
She earned extra money,
By stuffing drugs right up to her tummy.
Smuggling drugs across the intergalactic border,
No one ever suspected she was a hoarder
Until one day
Her flaps kept clapping open and shut to her dismay
The echo bounced back n forth
And the draught of wind was colder than anything from the North.
She was sent to prison where she was seen by The Doctor,
But he only had a pathetic sonic screwdriver.
The Daleks all had a go,
Followed by the Face of Bo,
Sontarons and the Cyberman too.
Not even the Oods could fathom
A way to fill up her cavern
It was left to the Master
Who inflated her pussy with ten gallons of expanding plaster.
Gone are her days of smuggling drugs,
Or so we thought......
Cos when the plaster dried it shrank and rattled around inside her
Attracting lots of men to have a go at chipping away in there.
Not sure I could fuck a fanny full of dust,
But to some I guess it’s a must.
Now she has just enough space to still smuggle drugs.
But it’s so hard and dusty in there that she can only have sex with ugly mugs.