This is my first post, so apologies if it's discursive drivel.
However, I noted several queries about Bristol Parlours, and as I use these o na reasonably regular basis, I thought I'd share some thoughts. However, this is not a comprehensive review.
The Bristol parlour "landscape" has been pretty stable for the last couple of years, in contrast to the 1990's, when some fifteen to twenty parlours came and went.
Someone mentioned Arnos Vale. There are two parlours here: Diamonds and Bath Road Massage. I prefer the former: the girls tend to stay rather than move on, and they tend to be older than average. as I am no spring chicken myself, I am comfortable with this. I have reached an age where a girl in her early twenties makes me feel like an unwilling paedophile. Prices at Diamonds are £60 for half an hour, and (if the girl offers it) an extra twenty for BBBJ or anal. How much both are together I don't know. Perhaps you can negotiate! I'm not going to recommend anybody specific, as it all comes down to "fillies for courses". The place may look a bit run down from the outside, but inside it is clean and comfortable. They have a discreet back entrance , but there is relatively little pedestrian traffic, so parking in the front and going in that way isn't a problem. But look at the parking restrictions. It is a "tow away zone" in the rush hour. Don't park in one of the side streets: turning is a nightmare. Better to use Sainsburys (five minutes ar so walk away). Bath Road Massage is similar, but charges £10 more, and frankly isn't worth the extra money.
Tops in St Philips is cheap (£45 standard, £60 with OWO) and some of the girls are surprisingly good. But the place is a bit of a dump inside, the smarter room has no shower, parking can be a pig, there is no public transport, and the entrance is hardly discreet.
Melissas in Kingswood (out in the eastern suburbs) is very inexpensive, but the service tends to be rubbish too.
There is a newish place (whose name escapes me) in Old Market (the gay quarter). I've not tried it. I'm put off be the cash machine in the foyer, which says to me "It doesn't matter how much money you come in here with, we're going to make sure you need more". However, they claim a standard price of £60, as does a place in Denmark Street, which may also have one of the "infernal machines".
There are two places in Stokes Croft. I haven't used either for ages. They used to both be rip-offs. Anybody know anything different?
Park House, near Bristol City football ground has the same price structure as Tops, but I stopped patronising it when I found a culture had developed of jacking up the price for "extras" that ought to be standard. And the lovely Thai girl called Kat left. I wonder where she went?
There are two places near the centre of Bedminster, both with similar pricing to Bath Road Massage and probably under the same ownership.
The Club in Midland Road is also rather pricey for what it offers.
I went off Central Massage (another one in the gay quarter) after I had been seen by three surly "get him out of the door ASAP" girls in succession. But it's moderately priced. And with two sex shops nearby, you can always buy a dildo to take in with you.
Finally, if its just a "tug job" you're after, I recommmend Elmgrove Studios in Fishponds. £50 for a very sexy massage (£10 more for bare breasts), and a professionally-executed "happy ending". No chance of a shag. The massage tables are too narrow for one thing! The woman that runs the place is the one to go for. Not exactly beautiful, not in her first flush of youth and with a slightly pockmarked face. But a hell of a character: bright, lively and intelligent. I would enjoy penetrating her: I reckon she'd "go off like a tin of bad fish", as Barry Humphreys said. But it ain't going to happen.
I've gone on long enough. I could say quite a lot more, but this has become a rambling, badly-structured essay, as I predicted.
