Does seeing escorts prevent you from bothering with dating normally?

[Stevelondon]

Unlike the OP………… I have not SLEPT with a lot of SP’s.

Shagged countless numbers though……. Maybe we are just different 😂

I think far too many people complicate stuff to be honest. Punting is just about paying for sex innit.

[leighdelamere]

What paying directly for sex does not give you is the feeling of being desired. I missed that so went down the affairs route for a few years. It can get messy though and is a lot more time-consuming with more risk of being caught.

[DThunter01]

Ok so this is a good thread,

I’m going to put a different spin on this, see what you guys think,

I like the op started seeing escorts at about 19-20 due to peer pressure and the job I did (working away)
I met “the one” at 23 ish and we were together for 8–9 years I never cheated on her and treated her like a queen in every respect,

My taste in women is like the op petite and sexy, these girls are born with the tools to manipulate men
My now ex had no reason to stop loving me,
Her friends told her she’s lucky as I have financial security and have been described as a 8-10 etc etc “a catch” apparently,

I have been approached a number of times by good looking girls for my number in the past, but having this attention from women allows you to see a side of them that I personally hate, and that is that a lot of women cheat especially the 7 and above group, and they do it because they can, men do it purely for sex that they are not getting at home anymore because it’s to inconvenient for the woman to break off the relationship so they effectively force the man to cheat by means of sex ban and coldness ( my ex out me on a sex ban for 6 months then went columbo on me trying to catch me out cheating, but I didn’t cheat,
She had her eyes on half my assets, her best friend told me she was planning to fuck me over as I didn’t want to get married until she wanted kids, turns out she never wanted kids, so she lied at the start of the relationship,

It’s a type of constructive dismissal from the women’s side and I’ve seen it a lot, she let her self go towards the end of the relationship as soon as we split she was at the gym partying again and constantly asking for money / another chance,

I don’t drink never have so meeting girls drunk on a night out is really off putting for me

I have a cleaner and don’t need financial help,

Punting for me is about getting what you want on the day, I’ve never took pack lunch to work as I’m an impulse eater, I suppose that’s how I like my women,
The modern world has fucked dating up and I’ve leaned that no one is honest on either side so save the drama and heart ache and go for the obvious option if it’s available to you,

I’m done with relationships altho I do want children so there’s the downside,

I hope this makes sense as English is not my strong point 

 

[Puntingutils]

Can you not think of a comment of your own instead of copying and pasting another one on the thread?   

However to answer your question. -  External Link/Members Only

What you linked is a blog post listing traits of narcissism. Someone whose saying they are above average is not sufficient to say they are narrcistic. Narcissism typically involves an excessive focus on oneself, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. Simply stating that one is above average may reflect self-assurance or a realistic assessment. There is no indication on this post that OP has narrcistic traits.

[Doc Holliday]

What you linked is a blog post listing traits of narcissism. Someone whose saying they are above average is not sufficient to say they are narrcistic. Narcissism typically involves an excessive focus on oneself, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. Simply stating that one is above average may reflect self-assurance or a realistic assessment. There is no indication on this post that OP has narrcistic traits.

Have slept with large numbers of hot escorts over the yrs and never bothered with dating or relationships at all. I am above average looking, 6 foot tall and very muscular , above average penis size and girth, etc ......

I also don't have any interest in having kids , I am quite narcissistic.

[daviemac]

What you linked is a blog post listing traits of narcissism. Someone whose saying they are above average is not sufficient to say they are narrcistic. Narcissism typically involves an excessive focus on oneself, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. Simply stating that one is above average may reflect self-assurance or a realistic assessment. There is no indication on this post that OP has narrcistic traits.

Try reading the OP again and understanding all of the words. -

I am quite narcissistic.

He admits to being narcissistic    and him stating he is, in his opinion, "above average looking" and "above average penis size" are narcissistic traits.

Don't know about you but if someone admits to being something I tend to believe them, especially when the give a couple of examples that prove the point.

BTW try and think of a comment of your own if you are going to reply.

Edit

More reading for you. -

External Link/Members Only

External Link/Members Only

If you need any more just let me know.

[Mr_Shins]

Dating and sex are split for me now, i.e. I do not have sex with the woman I date, I have sex with paid escorts only, usually the same one, but I never go on a date with her.

This is not ideal for me but is the way it is.

The woman I date knows that I visit escorts. She also doesn't see them as any threat.

[southcoastpunter]

Isn’t that like “friends without benefits “? But if it works for you, that is all that matters!

Would be interested if you have female friends ( who are just friends) - and what the difference is between your relationship with them and the lady you “date”?

[Thephoenix]

Dating and sex are split for me now, i.e. I do not have sex with the woman I date, I have sex with paid escorts only, usually the same one, but I never go on a date with her.

This is not ideal for me but is the way it is.

The woman I date knows that I visit escorts. She also doesn't see them as any threat.

I'm glad that's working for you.
Are you hoping for that to be a long term arrangement?

[Thephoenix]

It’s a well known trait of narcissists to have an over inflated opinion of themselves.

Do you need links? or is that good enough for you?

I don't think I'm a narcissist.

I don't have a above average looks, but I've definitely got a penis that's considerably above average.

Does that just make me a narc?

[Lou2019]

I don't think I'm a narcissist.

I don't have a above average looks, but I've definitely got a penis that's considerably above average.

Does that just make me a narc?

Google it, there’s plenty of information out there to read on the subject. I’m no expert but have some knowledge and experience (as having dated one).

[daviemac]

Does that just make me a narc?

No, it makes you a stirrer, you are quoting someone who was responding to another member who was trying to be a smart arse, but failed miserably BTW.

As far as your claim to have a big cock goes, I doubt that will impress her, or anyone else for that matter.

[Thephoenix]

Google it, there’s plenty of information out there to read on the subject. I’m no expert but have some knowledge and experience (as having dated one).

Sorry Lou, it was meant as a joke, and not as a direct response to your comment although it does appear so.
I don't need to read anything about narcissism, but thanks for the reference.

[speedygonzal]

I can see that some guys prefer escorts because some WGs offer something that is very difficult to get from a girlfriend (at least the ones I met).

WG are experienced sex machines who now know exactly where to touch you and what to do to make you cum like a king. A few days ago I had one of the most intense Cums of my life. After some intense sex, this woman took off the condom and finished me off with an incredible OWO and sucked every cc of cum out of my balls. it was amazing.

But I still prefer  the vanilla GFE for 90% of the time. Everyone has their own priorities, I guess.

[Thephoenix]

No, it makes you a stirrer, you are quoting someone who was responding to another member who was trying to be a smart arse, but failed miserably BTW.

As far as your claim to have a big cock goes, I doubt that will impress her, or anyone else for that matter.

I made the mistake of posting a silly attempt at humour without thinking of the impact it would have.
It wasn't meant to stir anything and certainly not to impress. Do I really appear to be that immature:dash:
I should have at least put a smiley face to indicate that.

I wouldn't want to unnecessarily offend Lou or any other SP members for that matter.

I shall desist from any attempt to be frivolous from now on.
My daft sense of humour is obviously not shared.

[Hobbit]

I'm going to make an assumption that you are below 40. If I'm wrong then apologies.

The first thing I will say is that seeing hookers is not equivalent to dating. Hookers are for scratching an itch and dating is for a deeper, more intimate, and more intelligent relationship. Now both of these come with their perils and if you confuse one for the other then you will end up in trouble.

Personally, neither of these is working for me at the moment. The first one is too expensive with low-quality hookers nowadays and the other is offputting due to so many civilian women being entitled, lacking intelligence and life experience with too much mental baggage to even consider settling down with. Let alone the lack of values and principles to sail through the storms of life.

So whichever way you choose it's always going to be a challenge.

[Doc Holliday]

I'm going to make an assumption that you are below 40. If I'm wrong then apologies.

He is 32

[simon07]

I am glad i discovered punting after the age of 50 and had time for wife, kids etc. The sex side fizzled out and the thrill of the chase and finding the 30 min/60 minute ‘be in the moment’ sex is quite compulsive. Now the prostate rules and i am in the ‘once more to the breach state’ for as long as i can.

I think if I was 18 and started punting, then I would be messed up with the wiring in my brain.
We would end up seeing civvie women though unforgiving filters.

You keep learning as a punter and after 15 years I have gained some experience on how to connect with WG (though not all WGs as some may want to scam you). UKP has been a great source of information.

Do we become 2 different people - An ordinary bloke or a ‘Lucifer = what is it you truly desire - loved the Netflix series) bloke? Depending on the environment and job in hand?

[chadpitt]

It's the ease and quality of escorts that makes it worthwhile or not.

Before Brexit it was a cornucopia of hot, young women at decent prices and good services.

Now it's just delusional 40+ y/o fatties charging £100hh.

[Massagetugga]

I dont imagine many women would be bothered about your history

women are way more pragmatic and realistic about sex

I agree a lot of woman are very pragmatic about sex (I used to bang a nurse and obviously with her experience with bodily functions and fluids she was completely down to earth and at ease with sex as a simple human function. This was good because she didn’t get in the least hung up on how meaningful anything was  ). She may well have been an exception to this but otherwise I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to spill the beans on your punting past. 

[Kieslowski]

Seeing escorts doesn't stop me bothering with civvie dating, but it does make me a bit less desperate and a lot more fussy.

Before seeing escorts, I would go out every weekend trying to get laid. It was the central motivation of a night out. Now, if I bother going out, it's primarily to socialise. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I approached a woman in a bar or club (although I guess age has a big part to play there, not least because I'm generally out with people who aren't on the pull, and most of the women you see out at clubs etc are young enough to be my daughter).

I do still try to date though. I'm on various dating apps, and I am actively trying to get matches. But from a sex pont of view, there's no sense of panic that it's not happening, since I can just fuck a hooker.

However, escorts are no substitute for a relationship. There are times you just want to hang out with a woman, having a good time, and you're not going to get that from an escort. I did have a long-term sugar baby who I got along with incredibly well and we would just spend evenings hanging out like a couple. It's something you just can't replicate with an £80 HH session with some random tourer from Brazil who can barely speak English.

I can think of at least two occasions where I've been dating someone, and I've ended up breaking up with them because I found myself yearning sex with escorts. On the surface, that sounds unhealthy, but it just meant I wasn't that interested in them, so it's actually a handy yardstick. If I'm not prepared to give up punting for you, you're not The One, so no point wasting time. In fact I ended up choosing my sugar baby over someone I dated, and seeing who she's now going out with, I chose wisely.

In some regards, I've probably had enough good sex with stunning women (and bad sex with less stunning women) that I think it might be easier to eventually settle down, since I've basically done all the experimenting I would want to do, and realise that sex ultimately isn't as fulfilling as a relationship. But if I remain single, then at least I can fuck.

[Bonker]

Some very good points in this post. 

[merseyrob]

I was very shy in my teens and desperate to get laid so that is how I ended up paying for it. My first shag was at a parlour aged 17 and the habit developed from there. I have always stopped visiting SPs for a few months at the start of a relationship but fallen back into it eventually. I have never had an emotional connection with a SP even though some of them I have visited on and off over months and even years, so for me it could never be a substitute for a relationship.

[Mr Sinister]

Was wondering what other men's thoughts are - how has seeing escorts for a long time altered your views towards dating and relationships and effort in that endeavour if you put forth any effort there at all?

No seeing escorts hasn't altered my views towards dating only the fact that I can get sex in one easy transaction, only trad dating has altered my views on trad dating as I'm out there forming relationships and having experiences with civvy women. Don't conflate sleeping with "hot women" to your own self worth.

As theeaglekid stated earlier in the thread this hobby has given me the option to explore certain body types and features I desire which I know is not always easy to get dating civvies. It purely scratches an inch, let's me let off some steam now and again but that's a feeling that's been getting further away recently.

I've gone back into dating this year, lucky enough to have some fwb type deals, I was literally with 2 over the weekend clapping cheeks. Despite all the headaches and female annoyances of dating can't beat having someone desire you, intimacy and sex just feels more natural real intense with someone just as into you as you are with them. I'm happy to be on the civvy line of things because right now for me personally I feel the punting scene is kinda dire right now with lack of options and anything exciting.

[rubric]

I think if I was 18 and started punting, then I would be messed up with the wiring in my brain.
We would end up seeing civvie women though unforgiving filters.

I don't think this is necessarily the case, though it can be. It tends to depend on what you bring to it.  To be honest seeing pros has widened the range of women I find attractive and/or more to the point sexually desirable.

I do have a 'type' but my experiences underlined that I could have mind blowing sex with all sorts of women, which maps to being quite a lot more open in my civvy life.

Although in terms of the apps, I think they've become harder to use, as they've all become optimised towards endless window shoppers who splash on subs, used to get quite a lot more action out of pof etc than I do currently.

[Lou2019]

I think if I was 18 and started punting, then I would be messed up with the wiring in my brain.
We would end up seeing civvie women though unforgiving filters.

Very good point, it give unrealistic expectations much the same as porn does.

[Jonestown]

I think if I was 18 and started punting, then I would be messed up with the wiring in my brain.
We would end up seeing civvie women though unforgiving filters.

Indeed, this is true, well at least in my case, no civilian can compete over time with an endless procession of SPs who are in the main sexually appealing and experienced, offering a smorgasbord of delight and arousal.

[Crockers]

There's a bloke like the OP who's just started to come down my local.

Always in a sleeveless tee.

Going on about how great he's at weightlifting.

Goes on about how much we like him.

Goes on about how much he likes us.

Hasn't got a girlfriend.

Irritating as fuck but all the regs here tolerate him as he's autistic but on the 'nice' side, not threatening.

We're a tolerant bunch of people.

[Crockers]

There's a bloke like the OP who's just started to come down my local.

Always in a sleeveless tee.

Going on about how great he's at weightlifting.

Goes on about how much we like him.

Goes on about how much he likes us.

Hasn't got a girlfriend.

Irritating as fuck but all the regs here tolerate him as he's autistic but on the 'nice' side, not threatening.

We're a tolerant bunch of people.

Last two paras not directed at OP.

[rubric]

Very good point, it give unrealistic expectations much the same as porn does.

Again I think it depends on your approach and what you take from it.  My early years of punting were during the EE invasion, and yes I did enjoy a succession of gorgeous WGs, but it also got me out of my shell.

[gurds]

In my case it's not that I can't get a girlfriend, it's that I never actually bothered to try..

My mindset is that it's actually a better idea to become a sugar daddy at an old age with young and hot girl in their 20s than it is to actually try and date normally.

Maybe this is an effect of so many yrs exposure to escorts, also realising that there is no such thing as romantic love really.

Women are only interested in what men can do for them and they discard them as soon as they are no longer useful. To this end it could be argued that all women are prostitutes to some degree. The professional ones are just more honest about the costs upfront.

In my view if you are only interested in women for sexual purposes you are probably better off with escorts and sugar babies.

[KatieEdinburgh]

also realising that there is no such thing as romantic love

That’s a very bleak outlook on love and certainly not true for most people!

[alabama1]

That’s a very bleak outlook on love and certainly not true for most people!

I agree with him

[SonofAJohn]

In my case it's not that I can't get a girlfriend, it's that I never actually bothered to try..

My mindset is that it's actually a better idea to become a sugar daddy at an old age with young and hot girl in their 20s than it is to actually try and date normally.

Maybe this is an effect of so many yrs exposure to escorts, also realising that there is no such thing as romantic love really.

Women are only interested in what men can do for them and they discard them as soon as they are no longer useful. To this end it could be argued that all women are prostitutes to some degree. The professional ones are just more honest about the costs upfront.

In my view if you are only interested in women for sexual purposes you are probably better off with escorts and sugar babies.

Sounds like you aren't a monogamous person. So, a relationship with one girl wouldn't appeal to you as it is altruistic while you say you're narcissistic. I think you're mindset is a response to the society we live in now. Everything is transactional and for sale.

[alabama1]

That’s a very bleak outlook on love and certainly not true for most people!

That is a very sweeping statement

[SonofAJohn]

That is a very sweeping statement

Very

[Cheshuk]

In my case it's not that I can't get a girlfriend, it's that I never actually bothered to try..

My mindset is that it's actually a better idea to become a sugar daddy at an old age with young and hot girl in their 20s than it is to actually try and date normally.

Maybe this is an effect of so many yrs exposure to escorts, also realising that there is no such thing as romantic love really.

Women are only interested in what men can do for them and they discard them as soon as they are no longer useful. To this end it could be argued that all women are prostitutes to some degree. The professional ones are just more honest about the costs upfront.

In my view if you are only interested in women for sexual purposes you are probably better off with escorts and sugar babies.

it's pretty simple if you feel you want a relationship, get one.. keep punting at the same time or don't

what you say about women is true for some but there are definitely still good girls out there, impossible to quantify how many fall into each category

Feel like theres many how you describe these days (guys seeing women as sex objects are the same as women seeing men as meal tickets) problem is you don't find out which type of girl you've got till time and possibly moneys been invested

If you're like some of the guys on this thread who need to be loved or desired you've gotta take the risk, if you couldn't care less about that, get it from a sugar baby if you need connection or an escort if you want sex

Thoughts about a partner cross my mind too but for now its nothing more than a passing thought since I know I don't want it now, and I'll figure it out when the time comes since i'm happiest doing what I'm doing

[Berty_Dugger]

Cuts the chase dunt it. Dont get me wrong i like a chase but I like to see whats really turning up behind that door. Nowt like being catfished however I find more an sp turns up with a cunt less smelling like one.

[daviemac]

Cuts the chase dunt it. Dont get me wrong i like a chase but I like to see whats really turning up behind that door. Nowt like being catfished however I find more an sp turns up with a cunt less smelling like one.

What on earth are you rambling on about now. 

[Cheshuk]

What on earth are you rambling on about now. 

I was literally trying to decipher & thinking the same 

[Thephoenix]

 also realising that there is no such thing as romantic love really.

I know we're all different, but I hope I'm not the only one who disagrees with that.
I find that a rather sad comment.

[hendrix]

I agree with him

Yep.

[Brompton]

I know we're all different, but I hope I'm not the only one who disagrees with that.
I find that a rather sad comment.

Nope you’re not the only one, it is sad but I suppose we all have a different outlook on life 

[yesbby]

I know we're all different, but I hope I'm not the only one who disagrees with that.
I find that a rather sad comment.

I’m with you. I think there is an arms race in punting - they become more mercenary, we become more cold hearted. But that’s a symptom of things having gone wrong  To claim that’s how life is is a reification of something pathological 

[Colston36]

I know we're all different, but I hope I'm not the only one who disagrees with that.
I find that a rather sad comment.

The idea that there is no such thing as romantic love is self-evidently piffle.

The phrase comes from the romance region of France where troubadours sang of their unrequited love. And it simply would not exist if it referred to something that never was.

There are countless examples going back to Helen of Troy.

I felt romantic towards all except one of the six women I have lived with or married, though I never liked the idea of my passion being unrequited.

What many comments here suggest is that some of us never found romance, and others didn't like the idea. Personally I found my most satisfying relationship at the age of 69.

I still live with her; we no longer have a sexual relationship but she knows how I get my fun. A fine romance, my friends this is.

[Colston36]

What paying directly for sex does not give you is the feeling of being desired. I missed that so went down the affairs route for a few years. It can get messy though and is a lot more time-consuming with more risk of being caught.

I'm not sure you're right. I had one relationship which started with my paying and ended with not paying. In fact the lady has just contacted me again.

"What we anticipate rarely occurs; what we never expect invariably happens" - Disraeli

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Romantic love does exist it lasts around 18 months to two years - after that it fades away much like a Cheshire cat.....

[Lou2019]

That’s a very bleak outlook on love and certainly not true for most people!

It really is isn’t Katie, and I don’t believe some of these comments to be true. I feel some are to save face for those that have been hurt and have switched their feelings off.

[Lou2019]

And your point?

You haven’t responded to this comment?

[contentguy]

You haven’t responded to this comment?

I think you just did respond to your comment 

Or were you referring to the one where gurds was disrespectful to your figure?
That wasn’t nice