The unknown unknown

[WillsonH]

Early in a punt I'm usually asked, "What do you like?"

I always ask for pretty vanilla things, mainly because I only know of vanilla things. Not that I'm complaining much.

But how do I go about asking for things which I might enjoy, if I don't know what the things might be? When I ask the girl,  "What do you like? I nearly always get the answer "Whatever you like", or " Anything", which doesn't really help.

I asked Chloe from Maxes a few days ago, what were the most extreme things she'd done, and she mentioned a couple of things I didn't really fancy, but at least I'm aware now of more options.

What's your advice on broadening your horizons?

[HarryZZ]

I like to set out what I like or expect in pre-punt comms, which will hopefully help prevent any mention of extra payment and coming up against the type that clicks on every 'like' button and then looks horrified when it's mentioned in a punt.

If or when the "what do you like" question comes up I always answer that I like to go with the flow or at the most mention, as in previous comms, that I like to finish CIM. While I'm there I like it all to feel natural, what I don't want is, "that's your 5 minutes of oral finished, time for 5 minutes of cowgirl before the 5 minutes of reverse cowgirl"

[JamesKW]

Early in a punt I'm usually asked, "What do you like?"

I always ask for pretty vanilla things, mainly because I only know of vanilla things. Not that I'm complaining much.

But how do I go about asking for things which I might enjoy, if I don't know what the things might be? When I ask the girl,  "What do you like? I nearly always get the answer "Whatever you like", or " Anything", which doesn't really help.

I asked Chloe from Maxes a few days ago, what were the most extreme things she'd done, and she mentioned a couple of things I didn't really fancy, but at least I'm aware now of more options.

What's your advice on broadening your horizons?

Most WGs are not experienced enough to carry out BDSM activities effectively,if you wish to start with a WG you can ask for simple stuff like spanking,foot fetish,watersports etc.I would normally have the sex first then use these as fillers at the end.I would recommend going to service provider who does this full time and telling them you are a beginner and then build from there,they are likely to have all the proper equipment,steralise it properly (if need be).Or go to one of the more serious fetish parties (not TG) and ask one of the dungeon monitors to introduce you to it (this is a cheaper way)they will have temporary dungeons setup.Or offer the females there foot massages (although there will be plenty of other subs. doing this already)

[atmos]

I would recommend going to service provider who does this full time and telling them you are a beginner and then build from there,they are likely to have all the proper equipment,steralise it properly (if need be).Or go to one of the more serious fetish parties (not TG) and ask one of the dungeon monitors to introduce you to it (this is a cheaper way)they will have temporary dungeons setup.Or offer the females there foot massages (although there will be plenty of other subs. doing this already)

I completely agree. Any Domme Lady who is any good will tailor a session to a first timer and his/her needs. Going down this path does not automatically mean being beaten 'black & blue': you can have a lot of 'fun' and it is a way of exposing a different 'you'.

[TKovac]

Not sure from reading the initial post that it was specifically BDSM that the op meant.

There can be plenty of non bdsm things that a new punter may not have experienced in vanilla civy life. 

Personally I find it amusing meeting new girls who think they are right dirty but the second you ask them to play with your are or play with theirs suddenly realise there are completely new levels of depravity.

My advise would be look at your local areas reviews identify a right dirty thing book in and tell them to do there worse and see what happens  (note needs to be with an established good provider)

[notcalledchris]

My last but one punt i was asked 'would you like to try watersports.   I want you to piss on me'  not sure id have asked for that myself but next time i see her i certainly will and come prepared with a full bladder.

[RedKettle]

Early in a punt I'm usually asked, "What do you like?"

I always ask for pretty vanilla things, mainly because I only know of vanilla things. Not that I'm complaining much.

But how do I go about asking for things which I might enjoy, if I don't know what the things might be? When I ask the girl,  "What do you like? I nearly always get the answer "Whatever you like", or " Anything", which doesn't really help.

I asked Chloe from Maxes a few days ago, what were the most extreme things she'd done, and she mentioned a couple of things I didn't really fancy, but at least I'm aware now of more options.

What's your advice on broadening your horizons?

I remember having a similar issue when I started out.  I was not after anything extreme but just felt there were things out there that I might like, but did not know about.  In those days I only saw one or two WGs.  I remember suggesting they try something new/different but they always either did something really tame or said they did not know anything else to do.  With hindsight they just wanted an easy life.

It was UKP that opened my eyes to what is available - there are lots of dirty bastards on here  so reading the reviews and threads gave me a few ideas so I could ask for specific things.

[Marmalade]

This is interesting.

I basically think there’s three ways it can go:
1) I let her organise it to my satisfaction
2) I organise it to my satisfaction
3) we “go with the flow”

While for some punts I’ll have a specific scenario in mind, generally I’ll make up my mind how much direction she needs within the first few seconds.

   The typical Roma or sauna girl will have a routine she expects unassertive clients to follow which I detest so fuck that.
   One or two (usually Scottish) WGs will sense what I’ll like and play it out naturally with minimal hints, which is quite pleasant.
   The bossy Roma type is the worst. I just give polite orders. A lot of them like that as it saves them the effort of thinking.

For me the thing is, stay in charge of the punt even if you let her direct the action. I will generally keep aware of the time (pretty well to the minute) and how much BJ, positions, type of finish I expect. If it’s going off track, sort it. If she’s a very bossy bitch I’ll suggest I give her a back rub (a minute or two, to get her out of ‘her-giving-instructions’ mode) and a chance for me to relax, check out her arse and so on without her fucking yapping or interrupting. If there’s no chemistry whatsoever at the start of a punt I either start fucking her as soon as she’s wet or say how about some oral and let her suck me then fuck her. Endless variations but except for pre-arranged scenarios, which I also like occasionally, I mostly just decide when I see her.

[Jimmyredcab]

Most WGs are not experienced enough to carry out BDSM activities effectively.

My advice for what it's worth.

Don't visit a normal prostitute for BDSM services, spend a bit extra and see a Dominatrix.

A good start would be a visit to The London Retreat, rates start at £100 for 30 minutes ------------ which includes personal services.   

[WillsonH]

Not sure from reading the initial post that it was specifically BDSM that the op meant.

There can be plenty of non bdsm things that a new punter may not have experienced in vanilla civy life. 

Personally I find it amusing meeting new girls who think they are right dirty but the second you ask them to play with your are or play with theirs suddenly realise there are completely new levels of depravity.

My advise would be look at your local areas reviews identify a right dirty thing book in and tell them to do there worse and see what happens  (note needs to be with an established good provider)

No I wasn't especially looking for BDSM - just a few things off the vanilla, or that I wouldn't dream of asking the OH to do. Another poster is right - UKP is full of ideas, some of which I might try, as is Pornhub :-)

[billybobsmith]

I don't like the "whatever you like" answer.

It pretty much tells me the girl is just going to go through the motions and will get nothing out of things bar the £££.
Even worse when you reach down with your fingers and "no fingers" or try to kiss her and "I don't kiss", the head turns away and she either scowls at you or might be fine with the neck only etc.  Hardly "anything you like" when the list grows and ultimately involves little more than getting on top and finishing ASAP with her hand possibly reducing penetration.

Going with the flow is good but a mood killer when she refuses this and that.

One girl I went with did ask me to cum in her mouth one time, and another time to fuck her up the ass.  Probably not something I would come out with but I did oblige and positive experiences that made a change from the norm.
Did get the second to last girl I was with to show me, twice, how she liked to masturbate.  Glad I asked her as my favourite thing   No half measures either i.e. a few seconds of fake moaning.

Have asked a girl before if she was fine if I used her Hitachi on her and that worked out very well   No "that'll be £20 for me to use my vibe (half heartedly for <10 seconds)"  from some Spanish girl who was probably about as Spanish as a born and bred Romanian from Bucharest.

I do sometimes ask where they would like me to cum.  Makes a nice change plastering her face or chest area and a few do like seeing the result of your time together.

Some girls can be open to things, others won't be.  It's as simple as that.
Unfortunately, there's no guarantees.

 

[Home Alone]

Early in a punt I'm usually asked, "What do you like?"

I always ask for pretty vanilla things, mainly because I only know of vanilla things. Not that I'm complaining much.

But how do I go about asking for things which I might enjoy, if I don't know what the things might be? When I ask the girl,  "What do you like? I nearly always get the answer "Whatever you like", or " Anything", which doesn't really help.

I asked Chloe from Maxes a few days ago, what were the most extreme things she'd done, and she mentioned a couple of things I didn't really fancy, but at least I'm aware now of more options.

What's your advice on broadening your horizons?

Surely the best way to do this, OP, is to look through Reviews on here of girls in your chosen area and see what 'the mates you've never met' think of them. Like you, I've been a vanilla kind of punter but by judicious use of AW Profile pages, cross-referenced with Reviews on here, I've, erm 'broadened my horizons' with one lass in particular.

And then, like I did, review her on here so that others in the same situation to you can try something similar.

[EnglishRebecca121]

No I wasn't especially looking for BDSM - just a few things off the vanilla, or that I wouldn't dream of asking the OH to do. Another poster is right - UKP is full of ideas, some of which I might try, as is Pornhub :-)

Pornhub .... porn isn't real life just remember that . Just be honest with a girl . If it's in her likes list ask away

[WillsonH]

Pornhub .... porn isn't real life just remember that . Just be honest with a girl . If it's in her likes list ask away

Yes, you're right of course. I do tend to go through agencies though, and they don't always list a girl's likes.

I think the lists of likes on AW cover pretty much everything I'm ever likely to be interested in (and some things not). I like a relaxed meeting so won't make it sound too much like a shopping list!