I can assure you that it is absolutely real; it's not a slap on the back laugh with the boys down the pub, it really does have a dark side as with most other addictions. The difficulty then is establishing which side of the fine line that you stand on; addict or enthusiast.
I've described my hideous marriage break-up previously, as I was caught out bang-to rights by my ex-wife, revealing all to my wider family then friends. Total and utter humiliation I assure you, as I've said previously something I would not wish on anyone.
Something positive that came out of it was that my family pushed me into therapy; I objected (quite forcibly at first) arguing that there was nothing wrong with me, but the therapist concluded otherwise. They assessed that I had (have, sorry it never goes away) a susceptibility toward addiction, that sex-addiction was one of the more likely.
Over the years I've battled alcohol addiction, food addiction, gambling - even things you wouldn't necessarily suspect like "gym-addiction"; in short if I find something I like I am prone to addiction which can be all-consuming.
Sex addiction was one of the hardest to accept; but in hindsight perhaps one of the easiest to manage too once you take control of it.
To keep the divorce solicitors happy I signed up to sexaholics-anonymous, which meant I originally had monitored access to my children after the divorce, which in time was relaxed and now they are adults any way, but they Know my addiction tendencies, as well as the warning signs, as do I.
I went to meetings for probably about 5-years before I felt that I could self manage; as the name suggests its anonymous so I'm certainly not going to disclose details of those I met over the years, in some cases making good friends; yes there are both men and woman and like many of these things you'd never know they were a sex addict. So I went through the 12-step process, which involved a long period of sex-sobriety, but in the end I just decided that I "like" sex with strangers and as a single man why shouldn't I?
There were many I met over the years who were crying out to stop; either because they were in relationships that they wanted to stay in, or (for me the scary part) people who were concerned that their addiction would lead to crime. There were some who had committed crime, desperate not to repeat.
So I am still a sex-addict; because I am not sex-sober I am not a recovering sex-addict...…. instead, I manage my condition by trying not to watch porn, obsess about adultwork etc. I don't set myself a "limit" to my number of punts in a year because I know if I did then that in itself would become an obsession, so as with alcohol, I go long periods "dry" then dabble once or twice before getting back on the wagon. It's a big reason why I choose to be single; I know if I had fanny-on-tap everyday it would be too much for me and once the honeymoon period ended and she eased it off then i'd be punting like a lunatic and hey presto history would repeat itself.
