Really good thread. Thoughtful and detailed stuff. I am exploring my own dominant tendencies, and it really is like opening another door. First session with a submissive girl was epic, but imprecise and challenging, in that although I was released and dominant, it was like going into uncharted territory. If I want to go further, I'm going to have to learn more. The sub/dom dynamic is fascinating, and I don't want to bottle it, but in some ways I feel like a teenager at the first disco: what the fuck is the right thing to do? I THINK I know what to do, and keep the session afloat, but you're inevitably wary of overstepping the line and, well, it's a bit scarey to confront your own desires when a girl, pretty much, says: absolutely do what you want with me. Opens up a huge amount of questions/ issues. Feels like the most honest, liberated sex however. I think the critical issue is making sure that the sub is ok with your dominance, and that probably includes very specific discussion about very specific acts. We didn't discuss, it just went naturally into Siffredi territory. Shockingly great. Just trying to get my bearings.
Am going to sound like the fluffiest of fluffy cunts, but this kind of sex forces you to take ownership of your most depraved fantasies. Sexy as fuck, but - for me, anyway - a bit challenging.
Yes, open and frank but also very reassuring is vital.
I always have the same conversation to start with. Once limits are discussed I take the sub slowly, deliberately and patiently through my colour coded warnings. One once started finishing my sentence in her excitement, but I stopped her and said that it is BOTH our responsibility to understand these nuances, as assumption leads to fuck ups. Nothing big, just she is at risk of not enjoying it quite so much or she finds as can't control the pace and intensity of the session as she'd like.
I used my firm stern master's voice and she instantly bowed her head, cast her eyes down, placed her hands behind her back and whispered "sorry master"
I knew then that she'd be great. Although I punished her for her impertinence, she was very lovingly rewarded and came multiple times.
I was lucky to have an open minded submissive ex and a couple of helpful mentors, but still if the girl doesn't quite click or understand, it can e awkward and it usually ends up being a far more mainstream if not quite vanilla punt.
Of course this girl who I'm seeing may simply be into as you say, Rocco style hard sex and not be a submissive in te traditional sense, but I'll find that out in the initial conversation
And if it is the case, then it will still be very enjoyable. Far more enjoyable than doing the whole Dom/sub thing with someone who's not fully into it, that's for sure! That's no fun for we and no fun for me.
Hard, Rocco style fucking is what I do with the lovely Miss KDD anyway, so that's Excellent fun too.
Whatever, as long as we have communicated it will be great.
