Wash your arses guys

[Roth]

External Link/Members Only
 

Must admit I always pay attention to removing any cock cheese and washing my arse before I visit a prossie and I usually take a shower again on arrival.

[peter purves]

I read the first page only.

I found this interesting.

"This sounds a bit bitchy I know and a generalisation but I've found other escorts to be cleaner and body aware than a lot of non escorting ones."

...Not sure how true the statement is

[ickydicky]

how does that go with one glasgow based french hoor who has a permanently shitey arse and shitey mouth from dfking punters after she has had a shite in their mouth and then moves on to the next punter without a shower or brushing her teeth.

[rubric]

I think that general levels of hygene among the 'great unwashed' is fairly low - any time I have to go into London, I'm suddenly aware there are some really smelly fuckers around of both sexes.

An arse is likely to pick up an odor (even a faint one) after a bit anyway purely because of where its sat - but thorough cleaning during a shower is going to put that point off for a few hours.

It's an added reason not to punt in this sort of heat.

[Corus Boy]

Oh I do so a lady called Nadia, long gone I think, lecturing us punters on the subject of little balls of toilet paper stuck to punters arses.

Woke me up to be scrupulously clean, even moreso than I already was.  From then on I always took the statement, "Would you like to have a shower?" Not to be a question, but to be demand.

[Brazilian Martian]

Anything said on that site i take with a pinch of salt egotistical whores with dusty phones also I wonder if they clean themselves in between punters 

[ickydicky]

Anything said on that site i take with a pinch of salt egotistical whores with dusty phones also I wonder if they clean themselves in between punters 

see my post about celine/magalie/sexyfrenchgirl. a shitey arse and a shitey mouth.

[Ellroy44]

Got to be clean, after all we expect the WG to be. Not that that's always the reality 

[cueball]

On punting day I always make sure I've had a poo prior to jumping in the bath, I make sure my arse is bloody sparkling. It's that clean you could eat your dinner off it

[webpunter]

On punting day I always make sure I've had a poo prior to jumping in the bath, I make sure my arse is bloody sparkling. It's that clean you could eat your dinner off it

I'd rather not if you don't mind     Nothing better than a big dump pre punt.  Helps for a flat stomach

Ever had a punt where you just know that you've just got to let a big fart go ?  Had one such time when a massage burd playfully hopped onto my tummy.  I couldn't stop it.  Thankfully it wasn't a smelly one & i laughed & said it was her fault for jumping on me.  Fortunately she saw the funny side
Have had to flush the toilet - even when i didn't have a shit / piss - just to help disguise a ripper 

[cueball]

Ever had a punt where you just know that you've just got to let a big fart go ? 

Yes, whilst in 69, it blew her fringe horizontal 

[Type_O_Negative]

I read the first page only.

I found this interesting.

"This sounds a bit bitchy I know and a generalisation but I've found other escorts to be cleaner and body aware than a lot of non escorting ones."

...Not sure how true the statement is

Well i have never had a prossie with a bad breath. But some girls i work with, fuck me 

[EnglishRebecca121]

Honestly you wouldnt believe the amount of clients that dont wash properly . id say i get shite stains on my throws about 6 times a year. along with shitty bits of left over loo roll attached to there arse hairs, smelly armpits and cock cheese.

in all honestly i reckon around 5 % of clients are like this

baffles me 

[cueball]

in all honestly i reckon around 5 % of clients are like this

baffles me 

I hope you keep your sphincter as clean as mine

[Brazilian Martian]

Honestly you wouldnt believe the amount of clients that dont wash properly . id say i get shite stains on my throws about 6 times a year. along with shitty bits of left over loo roll attached to there arse hairs, smelly armpits and cock cheese.

in all honestly i reckon around 5 % of clients are like this

baffles me 

I thought you would get pleasure in cleaning it all up in your frech maid outfit 

[Marmalade]

I read the first page only.

I found this interesting.

"This sounds a bit bitchy I know and a generalisation but I've found other escorts to be cleaner and body aware than a lot of non escorting ones."

...Not sure how true the statement is

What is a non-escorting escort?   

[Type_O_Negative]

What is a non-escorting escort?   

I think he meant civvies.

[Turtle Z]

id say i get shite stains on my throws about 6 times a year. along with shitty bits of left over loo roll attached

OK, but what about your clients? 

[Marmalade]

Honestly you wouldnt believe the amount of clients that dont wash properly . id say i get shite stains on my throws about 6 times a year. along with shitty bits of left over loo roll attached to there arse hairs, smelly armpits and cock cheese.

in all honestly i reckon around 5 % of clients are like this

baffles me 

I wonder if that that correlates with feedbacks though. Do they leave shit on your throws and then say 'what a wonderful amazing time they had"? It seems to me that many of the head-in-the-clouds fluffies also live in a dreamworld about their own body. Anyone on UKP for any length of time is sure to get chastised about this.

[Marmalade]

I think he meant civvies.

Yes I know. Just thought it was a thoughtless fluffie remark from someone (punter) posting on the saafe board. It seems to be down for maintenance just now so didn't check.

OK, but what about your clients? 

You are on form today. Hopefully Miss R will think of a nice witty reply instead of going off the handle again. I believe James might be taking bets ...

[Kinkykate78]

I must have been exceptionally lucky, all my clients to date have been scrupulously clean 

[mrdiamond77]

I always have a poo pre punt and make sure my arse is cleaned thoroughly, not just with bog paper but also after with wet wipes.  I also always take a shower before every punt so I wash my arse and cock as well.  I like OWO so best make sure its clean for the girls, I expect the same from them.

[Brazilian Martian]

I always have a poo pre punt and make sure my arse is cleaned thoroughly, not just with bog paper but also after with wet wipes.  I also always take a shower before every punt so I wash my arse and cock as well.  I like OWO so best make sure its clean for the girls, I expect the same from them.

I know you expect the same from them but how many prossies do think wash their front and back after each punter  you would be very surprised  amigo

[mrdiamond77]

I know you expect the same from them but how many prossies do think wash their front and back after each punter  you would be very surprised  amigo

It's the main reason I don't punt in parlours anymore.  Some of the smells coming off those girls would make you give up punting.  I know that there are bound to be a lot of indies also that don't wash between punters.  Just glad that there is a site like this that at least tries to identify the good WG's.

[Brazilian Martian]

 

It's the main reason I don't punt in parlours anymore.  Some of the smells coming off those girls would make you give up punting.  I know that there are bound to be a lot of indies also that don't wash between punters.  Just glad that there is a site like this that at least tries to identify the good WG's.

I hear that one

[Bumbuttass]

I always have a poo pre punt and make sure my arse is cleaned thoroughly, not just with bog paper but also after with wet wipes.  I also always take a shower before every punt so I wash my arse and cock as well.  I like OWO so best make sure its clean for the girls, I expect the same from them.

Same here.  I also tend to rinse my mouth with mouthwash once I'm there.  Firstly because I tend to have a pre-punt smoke but more importantly it seems to make the WG more receptive to FK/DFK which is a must for me

[mrdiamond77]

Same here.  I also tend to rinse my mouth with mouthwash once I'm there.  Firstly because I tend to have a pre-punt smoke but more importantly it seems to make the WG more receptive to FK/DFK which is a must for me

Yes, I am a non smoker but I at least always have some chewing gum before the punt and then use mouthwash if they have any when I get there.

[Roth]

I know you expect the same from them but how many prossies do think wash their front and back after each punter  you would be very surprised  amigo

You gotta pick the better prossies to avoid that.

[Roth]

see my post about celine/magalie/sexyfrenchgirl. a shitey arse and a shitey mouth.

Link?

[maxxblue]

Link?

Why, do you want to book her?   

[Mr Farkyhars]

Why, do you want to book her?   

Maybe he just wants to read about her

[Roth]

Why, do you want to book her?   

Maybe. 

Maybe he just wants to read about her

And maybe. 

[maxxblue]

Maybe. 

And maybe. 

 

[Swansea lad]

Honestly you wouldnt believe the amount of clients that dont wash properly . id say i get shite stains on my throws about 6 times a year. along with shitty bits of left over loo roll attached to there arse hairs, smelly armpits and cock cheese.

in all honestly i reckon around 5 % of clients are like this

baffles me 

If they look dirty or smell then why dont you send then away?

If a girl doesnt look right, i do the "wallet in car routine".

[OakTree]

You gotta pick the better prossies to avoid that.

It's sometimes hard to tell and may only become apparent when she's getting ready for the next punter while you're still there and she's not showering.

[stevedave]

Honestly you wouldnt believe the amount of clients that dont wash properly . id say i get shite stains on my throws about 6 times a year. along with shitty bits of left over loo roll attached to there arse hairs, smelly armpits and cock cheese.

in all honestly i reckon around 5 % of clients are like this

baffles me 

Why not just insist all guys you see have a shower upon arrival? As long as it's not taken out of the time of the booking, I don't see a problem with that.

If offered, I will always take a shower before cracking on, even if I had one half an hour before. If a lass knows your clean, she'll be less inhibited in the room.

And to be fair, 5% isn't that bad...I'd say probably more than 5% of the girls I've seen could probably have done with a more thorough wash (but that's me being picky)

[Brazilian Martian]

If they look dirty or smell then why dont you send then away?

If a girl doesnt look right, i do the "wallet in car routine".

Because she is not in the position to turn away clients it's not like she working in  a brothel with a open door policy she only sees a few people a day or that's what's she claims

[fairfield]

... you wouldnt believe the amount of.....shite stains on my throws about 6 times a year...

in all honestly i reckon around 5 % of clients are like this

And how often do you change said throws? I cant believe any WG changes the bed throw after each punt.
in all honesty, i reckon about 0%.
As a life-long soap dodger (bad for the skins natural oils) these Andrex "'how clean are you for your pro$$ie?" questions don't half grate. We are all human, we eat, sleep, breathe, have sex and - yes, shock horror - we have our own scent!
For me getting down and dirty with a WG means taking the rough with the smooth. (But the 'high class' prossie who made me punt in her cats' bed went too far. Would have walked if she hadn't already stashed the cash and wasted 20 mins condescendingly interviewing me for the position of her punter.)
Anyway who's gonna claim to be "as clean as a squid" then? - never me!
 

[Marmalade]

Anyone gargling with shit first then to make the prossie feel at home with the dfk then?

The 'genteel' ones had better offer skid-slide backsides an assisted shower first so they don't accidentally choke on dingleberries. Hand down the crack with your latest posh M&S (or Poundland) shower gel, how hard can that be? 

Won't help if viagra intake has loosened a punter's bowels though. If you feel a bit slippy, pop a couple of loperamide (OTC) with your vitamin V.

[EnglishRebecca121]

Why not just insist all guys you see have a shower upon arrival? As long as it's not taken out of the time of the booking, I don't see a problem with that.

If offered, I will always take a shower before cracking on, even if I had one half an hour before. If a lass knows your clean, she'll be less inhibited in the room.

And to be fair, 5% isn't that bad...I'd say probably more than 5% of the girls I've seen could probably have done with a more thorough wash (but that's me being picky)

sorry should have been clearer this is AFTER they shower ! they come out stinking as bad as they go in 

[stevedave]

sorry should have been clearer this is AFTER they shower ! they come out stinking as bad as they go in 

Christ, you must have some dodgy water down there in Bristol, straight from the Severn is it?! 

[webpunter]

Christ, you must have some dodgy water down there in Bristol, straight from the Severn is it?! 

Legs akimbo as the bore comes a rollin' in ?     Well in Sept when the next one is due anyways

[Marmalade]

sorry should have been clearer this is AFTER they shower ! they come out stinking as bad as they go in 

I've known one or two prossies who enthusiastically do the 'assisted shower' as standard. You're the professional paid to make the meeting go well. Something to consider.

Personally I like to shower before a punt with decent toiletries, and smell nice for me (fuck her). So if she wants me to shower when I get there (and my punts are generally not more than 5 mins away, so no arriving sweaty) i will have a quick one out of etiquette but know I'm cleaner before I go in her pig bath cubicle than when I get out.

Most prossies don't do assisted showers cos they're lazy fuckers who want to do as little as possible.

[EnglishRebecca121]

I tend to only do assisted showerS if they ask before hand as i look like a twat wearing a shower cap with streaked mascara otherwise!

[Marmalade]

One can imagine the timewasting "interview" questions...

So tell me, Mr Punter [forgotten punting name already] do you have a smelly arse?
Yes, I've just had a vindaloo and it's bursting.
Well I'm awfully sorry [practices English accent after watching the Queen's speech for hours in 'down' time] but I choose not to see gentlemen with shitty arses, it's simply not on my likes list.
How about if I give you a tip and a packet of Rolos?
Oooo Mr Punter [prossie gets into fake orgasm mode at thought of extra cash! and rolos] that will be great!
(prossie hides manky fannypad  and quickly  wetwipes her cuntflaps. Punt proceeds depending on size of 'tip')
Please excuse the cum-stains on the bed throw. They're from 1920 when my phone last rang.
So we've established you don't mind skid marks. Feckin cheek expecting a tip so feck that for a laugh.
Ewwwww!

 

[Marmalade]

I tend to only do assisted showerS if they ask before hand as i look like a twat wearing a shower cap with streaked mascara otherwise!

You should be able to afford waterproof mascara on your tax-free earnings. And no-one said you had to get in the shower with him dear.

[webpunter]

So we've established you don't mind skid marks

With more skid marks than the TopGear test track 

[Brazilian Martian]

You should be able to afford waterproof mascara on your tax-free earnings. And no-one said you had to get in the shower with him dear.

I'm sure becca pays TAX 

Hidden Image/Members Only

[EnglishRebecca121]

I'm sure becca pays TAX 

Hidden Image/Members Only

feel free to pm me yes i fucking do

[puntypunter]

Clean all over is the name of the game. At least that should be your starting point pre-punt. Of course after the deed is a different matter
Personally I always have an enema before sex as I like my arse to get at least as much attention as the WG's.