I can’t take the post nut clarity anymore

[AdamRidgewell97]

At the end of the week I’m always extremely horny and craving female affection. I physically can’t stop myself from going to an escort or a massage parlour. At the time it seems like the best idea on the planet and i almost can’t contain myself out of pure excitement after booking.

All of this changes the second I finish. This isn’t the regular post nut clarity you get when you watch a strange video or use your favourite towel to catch your load. I get such deep, intense post nut clarity that I feel borderline sick sometimes. I can’t look at myself and immediately have to do something like play video games or watch a film to take my mind of what has just happened. I feel absolutely disgusting, ashamed and pathetic. It’s makes me promise to myself that I’ll never do such activity again, until the end of the week comes of course.

Does anyone else experience this? Seems like a lot of you guys walk away feeling pretty good / happy, An I the only one?

[JontyR]

An I the only one?

Nope.

[contentguy]

Put “cummers remorse” in google

[nightbot]

You have to ask why you feel so disgusted.

Just enjoy the fact that you got your dick sucked and you unloaded your jizz on a woman. Yes you can go down the route of "Oh it was for money and not real" but that's the stuff you deal with BEFORE you start your meet. Regardless it's real, real as in it's a real experience you had and nothing can take away that fact. Yes it was not an emotional experience for you, but neither was it for the girl. What it was for both of you was a fun session where both of you got something out of it.

I think the problem here may be that you have issues with casual sex rather than anything else, as there's not much to differentiate the paid casual sex vs unpaid casual sex two except the paging aspect of it. But like I said, you both get something out of it and move on with your day, which is what casual sex is about anyway.

[contentguy]

Nope.

+1

[Cheltclient]

I’ve had something similar in recent years. At first, I thought it was some sort of remorse due to the money. There’s always something else you can spend it on and once finished, you’ve paid a couple hundred quid for the same outcome as a wank. But then the last couple years, got lots of money saved up and still have the same feeling, despite having the money. For me, I think I’ve just seen so many escorts I’ve become a little bored. Mix that in with a lack of options and increasing costs, the whole hobby just doesn’t seem as much fun. Mind you, the pre booking excitement is still great … especially that nervous knock on the door and waiting for a woman you’re going to fuck to answer it.

Try not to feel guilt. You’re doing nothing wrong, unless you are spending money you can’t afford. For me at the moment, I’m being more selective. If there are no options, I don’t book someone I’m unsure of for the sake of it. I’m also thinking of looking for new experiences

[scutty brown]

Some kind of deep rooted psychological problem maybe. Did your mother catch you wanking as a child? 

[Harry Stotle]

+1

 +2

In my 20s, I even used to get cummers remorse after wanking!

It's a deep rooted evolutionary response.  We are meant to spend our cum on a long term loving partner and produce children.  The bonus is we get physical pleasure from the climax.  If we bypass everything and go straight to the pleasure, it can fuck with your mind.  Fucking is meant to have consequences, ie: children. You are not meant to "love and leave" women.   One way or another, nature, will try to make sure you endure consequences, even if it's just cummers remorse.

[JontyR]

You have to ask why you feel so disgusted.

I think the problem here may be that you have issues with casual sex rather than anything else, as there's not much to differentiate the paid casual sex vs unpaid casual sex two except the paging aspect of it. But like I said, you both get something out of it and move on with your day, which is what casual sex is about anyway.

There's a lot in this take.

Once you've asked why you feel disgusted you have to then decide how you want to deal with it.

I remember, pre-punting, I had a night out. There were a pair of girls and I wanted to pull the one. Long story but I ended up taking the other one back. As the moonlight shone in and illuminated her enormous wobbly thighs I wondered..."are you really going to do this?". "Yes," I answered myself and climbed aboard.

I didn't enjoy it, neither did she. But it did allow me to realise that I owned the decision. Although there will be times both in punting and in civvie life where I have regret either immediately or driving home I sort of take it as part of the territory when you put it about. 

[KatieEdinburgh]

All of this changes the second I finish. This isn’t the regular post nut clarity you get when you watch a strange video or use your favourite towel to catch your load. I get such deep, intense post nut clarity that I feel borderline sick sometimes. I can’t look at myself and immediately have to do something like play video games or watch a film to take my mind of what has just happened. I feel absolutely disgusting, ashamed and pathetic. It’s makes me promise to myself that I’ll never do such activity again, until the end of the week comes of course.

Maybe you could try give it a break for a while. If you struggle with stopping yourself from looking on AW or here you can put internet blocks to stop you from accessing certain websites until you turn it off

You could try reducing it if it’s affecting your life in such a negative way

Perhaps a bit of post nut clarity is normal if you don’t find the girl attractive … but if you’re shagging 10s and still feeling disgusted with yourself I would say that’s a sign of a deeper issue

I think lots of punters get some feelings like yours but plenty do feel great afterward too

You’ve got to work out whether it’s *who* you’re seeing could fix it, or if it is ALL sex workers maybe you just have a problem with respecting the job etc etc

My question would be do you only get this with paid sex bookings or do you feel as disgusted with yourself after civvy partners too?

[big-al93]

+2

In my 20s, I even used to get cummers remorse after wanking!

It's a deep rooted evolutionary response.  We are meant to spend our cum on a long term loving partner and produce children.

Sounds like fucked up religious clap trap to me. Long term loving partner
Evoulotionary response would be to have sex to procreate and produce offspring and the best way to do that has nothing to do with loving partners, it would involve putting a good strong load into as many fertile women at the peak of fertility. Anything else is a restriction created by society.

[VidiViciVeni]

I'm assuming you are single, so no issues about loyalty with your partner? Then (and please correct me if I'm wrong) it looks like the post-nut clarity is due to:

• A feeling of shame/guilt that you had to pay for sex
• Related to the above, a feeling of disgust that the experience was not "real"

I think sex understandably comes with a lot of baggage, stigma and a sense of taboo. It might help to abstract the sex aspect away, and remind yourself that at the end of the day you are paying for a service.

There should be no shame or remorse associated with a fully legal transaction. The same way that there's nothing wrong with going to a restaurant and paying a chef to make your dinner rather than cooking for yourself, or a barista to make your coffee for you, or a handyman to fix your fence.

Women have sex for all sorts of reasons. Their vaginas are not Thor's hammer, they do not come with the inscription "whosoever parts these panties, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of score". I.e. they do not need to be head-over-heels in love with you, and that's OK.

So long as you were respectful and polite to the SP, you had fun during your session together, and you paid what you consider a fair fee, then you should walk away happy with your head held high. Fuck the societal stigma that paid sex is immoral, or somehow makes you "less of a man".

[Harry Stotle]

Maybe you could try give it a break for a while. If you struggle with stopping yourself from looking on AW or here you can put internet blocks to stop you from accessing certain websites until you turn it off

How is he going to take a break?  He is a man, the urge is going to build up and up with every passing day.  He has a need to have sex with a woman, but it's the anti-climax that is the problem.

[KatieEdinburgh]

How is he going to take a break?  He is a man, the urge is going to build up and up with every passing day.  He has a need to have sex with a woman, but it's the anti-climax that is the problem.

Clearly would require some drastic measures much like self help for gambling: temporarily blocking websites or phone numbers of escorts you’ve seen already. Spending the money that you save from not punting by possibly having a therapy sessions instead. Or maybe just a massage with happy ending to ease yourself away from it….?

I am suggesting to just have a wank instead that’s what most guys do, if they don’t have the financial ability to buy sex. It’s not going to kill you and might do you good for your headspace

When you feel better about it you can then try again 

[Dylanbob]

I normally get a burst of clarity and think about the things I should have been thinking about that day rather than banging some tight lil thing.

[nightbot]

I normally get a burst of clarity and think about the things I should have been thinking about that day rather than banging some tight lil thing.

This has been my experience too.
If anything the pre booking anticipation is too stressful and physically causes me discomfort with hard ones that I can do nothing with. So I try my best to just completely ignore it and go about my day, but it isn't until I bust a nut that I get over that feeling and don't think about it for a few days. This is especially the case while I'm active, while I'm not sexually active and my drive is at a high.

[Ghost89]

I usually think what I could have spent the money on instead.

[Harry Stotle]

Clearly would require some drastic measures much like self help for gambling: temporarily blocking websites or phone numbers of escorts you’ve seen already. Spending the money that you save from not punting by possibly having a therapy sessions instead. Or maybe just a massage with happy ending to ease yourself away from it….?

I am suggesting to just have a wank instead that’s what most guys do, if they don’t have the financial ability to buy sex. It’s not going to kill you and might do you good for your headspace

When you feel better about it you can then try again 

Good advice. I've also got some advice for OP.  It's a bit radical, and feel free to shoot me down, but I'm going to put it out there:  Perhaps he could put some effort into finding a girlfriend. 

[Harry Stotle]

Sounds like fucked up religious clap trap to me. Long term loving partner
Evoulotionary response would be to have sex to procreate and produce offspring and the best way to do that has nothing to do with loving partners, it would involve putting a good strong load into as many fertile women at the peak of fertility. Anything else is a restriction created by society.

Believe it or not, long term loving relationships are very common in our species. And they are not a restriction created by society.

[Mr Sinister]

I've had this feeling before best to stop seeing prossies for a bit and do something else. Take a break, go back into civvie world and date, have casual sex for a bit problem is punting is so easy once you've crossed the line of "paying for it" it can also lead to a disconnect from reality.

You're just feeding your animalistic urge even addiction then once you nut all the bad feelings kick in. Defo take a break

[big-al93]

Believe it or not, long term loving relationships are very common in our species. And they are not a restriction created by society.

I wasn't knocking long term loving relationships, or those who are in them, simply your assertion that this is an evolutionary concept. For those that are happy within one they are excellent. Personally I believe that many guys who are attached but punt cannot be 100% happy, or they wouldn't feel the need to punt. So there must be a little something missing in an otherwise good (or not so good)relationship.
Monogamy has been a societal construct going back 100s of years attempting to control people and encouraged and often enforced by the people of power and influence. Who often put on a respectable front but are going at it like horny goats themselves.

[OakTree]

Can’t say I think that deeply about it.

What I will say is that fucking for cash is not nearly as satisfying as having sex with a woman that is fucking you because she wants to.

[JontyR]

Alternatively maybe go for a massage and HE rather than a FS booking? Change is sometimes as good as a rest.

[willie loman]

i used to feel sad when i was young after a shag, but not now with hookers, its a well known condition, the romans even recognised it, post coital tristesse or, post coitum omne animalium triste est. my view is you are investing too much in the encounter, if you were doing it 3 times a week say, you wouldnt feel so down, or even down at all.

[Southernbloke]

I only feel bad after getting my leg over if the service was bad other than that, I feel great for about 4-5 days afterwards.
Sex is enjoyable if it wasn’t there would a lot less people in the world

[fatboy]

This isn’t the regular post nut clarity you get when you watch a strange video or use your favourite towel to catch your load.]

What's that all about ? I'd start looking there....

[PaulRuff]

You may need to retrain your dopamine response, sounds like you've had too much of a good thing & the lows are massively outweighing the highs.

Pre pandemic I was punting once every month typically, now it's perhaps 3 or 4 times a year and I do seem to enjoy them more than I used to, so a break from it is probably a good idea.

[pythondan]

Looking at the OP's post he normally books one hour meetings but cums after 3-5 minutes of sex. I think I would feel not great if I did similar. Also seems to book a lot of punts through the Lush agency.

I would suggest trying to pace sex better and going through multiple positions may result in more satisfaction. In an one hour punt I would normally spend at least 20 minutes having penetrative sex and often more. Much of that is at a relaxed pace.

Maybe agency girls are a bit "conveyor belt" and there is a lack of connection. Trying a good British indie who is happy to take things slowly might be worth trying - just don't come back in a month and post about contracting EAS!

[Maak]

OP find better beautiful WGs. I only feel bad after I receive bad service.

I see 2 regulars, it feels like 2 hired girlfriends

[Stevelondon]

Without knowing any real background behind the OP and his showings of post punt remorse (for want of better wording)
We can only guess as to why he feels the way he does.
As someone mentioned. Is he married, guilt maybe.
Is he fundamentally spending his punting dosh when it could be used for something better. (No such thing of course) 😂
Psychological reasons abound.

Do others feel guilt of some kind. If so. Don’t do it.

A simplistic view perhaps but I live my life pretty much the way I want to and if anything was causing me concerns enough to ask you lot for advice………. I’d be in trouble innit   

[PilotMan]

+2

In my 20s, I even used to get cummers remorse after wanking!

It's a deep rooted evolutionary response.  We are meant to spend our cum on a long term loving partner and produce children.  The bonus is we get physical pleasure from the climax.  If we bypass everything and go straight to the pleasure, it can fuck with your mind.  Fucking is meant to have consequences, ie: children. You are not meant to "love and leave" women.   One way or another, nature, will try to make sure you endure consequences, even if it's just cummers remorse.

"It's a deep rooted evolutionary response" - please do refer us to the scientific studies to support your "theory", that post nut clarity is an evolutionary response.


"We are meant to spend our cum on a long term loving partner and produce children". - this is created by humans as we began to socialise and has nothing to do with evolutionary response.

My guess is that the OP's feeling is based more around societal constructs and norms, rather than anything to do with our physical evolution.

The first thing you need to do to solve a problem, is own up to it - the OP has done that, so he's on his way to solving it.

As nightbot and JontyR mentioned, the OP needs to ask himself why he feels this way and what would change it? i.e.; not paying for sex, having sex only in a relationship, there are numerous questions he might want to consider.

[Jonestown]

Sounds to me like the OP has been using sex as a fix for a whole raft of other issues that are going wrong in his life, and like all such fixes, they eventually stop working. Might be an idea to address the state of his life in general, for which he may well need to seek help.

[summernirvana]

I don't punt much and I'm skint. I've found myself going 'Meh, I could have don with the cash' afterwards once or twice.

But some punts are fun, memorable and well worth it.

Even the hunt of finding a suitable one, setting up the rendezvous, the commute, turning up to some house or flat you would otherwise have no business being there, or walking past the hotel reception not giving a fuck...meeting the WG knowing you're literally straight up smashing it right there and then...

Punting is far better than paying for this Onlyfans nonsense or jerking off to pixels on a screen.

[MissWolf]

Sounds to me like the OP has been using sex as a fix for a whole raft of other issues that are going wrong in his life, and like all such fixes, they eventually stop working. Might be an idea to address the state of his life in general, for which he may well need to seek help.

This is imo the right answer,  I feel the OP needs to address bigger issues first, social issues come to mind when the solution to the PNC is to play video games.

My honest suggestion would be join a gym or a social group if you don't have friends you can call on to go for a night out instead,  the weather is stunning atm, take a long walk, get your personal life more in tune. I'd suggest finding a hobby or activity that takes you out of the house and cut down completely on video games etc

I don't necessarily think its a woman that you crave OP I think its company in general,  make time to make friends and develop a social circle, things will fall into place from there, good luck

It would also be good if you popped back and acknowledged some of the responses here 

[Dipper]

Better counselling than the nhs offer here… I must say, well done all

[versace]

This is imo the right answer,  I feel the OP needs to address bigger issues first, social issues come to mind when the solution to the PNC is to play video games.

My honest suggestion would be join a gym or a social group if you don't have friends you can call on to go for a night out instead,  the weather is stunning atm, take a long walk, get your personal life more in tune. I'd suggest finding a hobby or activity that takes you out of the house and cut down completely on video games etc

I don't necessarily think its a woman that you crave OP I think its company in general,  make time to make friends and develop a social circle, things will fall into place from there, good luck

It would also be good if you popped back and acknowledged some of the responses here 

I have to agree with this.

[Harry Stotle]

Better counselling than the nhs offer here… I must say, well done all

When I was at secondary school, we had a teacher who was appointed to undertake any counselling, although he was untrained, he did his best. His two regular solutions to the problems of teenage boys were only masturbate infrequently  as it was bad for your mental health, and also think about joining the Young Conservatives for the social life!

[scutty brown]

When I was at secondary school, we had a teacher who was appointed to undertake any counselling, although he was untrained, he did his best. His two regular solutions to the problems of teenage boys were only masturbate infrequently  as it was bad for your mental health, and also think about joining the Young Conservatives for the social life!

No mention of joining the Young Farmers?

[Dipper]

When I was at secondary school, we had a teacher who was appointed to undertake any counselling, although he was untrained, he did his best. His two regular solutions to the problems of teenage boys were only masturbate infrequently  as it was bad for your mental health, and also think about joining the Young Conservatives for the social life!

 

[LLPunting]

Every week?  130+ possibly genuine negatives, regardless of pnc to help your fellow punters out with.  Spend more time reviewing that's less time punting.

Sarcy jibe aside.

If you're genuinely trying to break the cycle of buying sex to distract from life then as Miss Wolf suggested commit yourself to a busy and engaging social life meeting with long-term friends or casual acquaintances.  If you don't have access to the former because their lives are family-fied then all the more reason to find new friends.

If you can take a long break from work go travelling, preferably on a budget and in countries where the local sex-trade would be inaccessible, illegal or just genuinely not as interesting as the alternative distractions readily available e.g. hiking the scenery, seeing the historic sites, enjoying the local culture, extreme/local sports, etc.
I travelled China for months with little recourse to (paid) sex, similarly New Zealand, if you can bear the US there's that crap pile, Canada.  Still have yet to travel South America or Africa.

Got some useful skills?  Try British Antarctic Survey or volunteering in poor countries or managing remote islands

Career change?

Socially aware?  Volunteer to help... conservation, drug-abuse, homeless, etc

NFC?  Meetup.com and go out every night on socials.

Still want/need sex?  Address your need for emotional fulfilment from it, get counselling.  Do you demand such guilt-ridden emotional commitment from football, a video game or any other pursuit?

If you're paying for an hour intending multiple pops but always bailing/regretting after 1 then change your punting approach, stop kidding yourself, your self-delusion is the biggest issue here.  Pay for shorter and spend less (or spend more on more "beautiful" or reliable and reputed SPs).

[LLPunting]

...

What I will say is that fucking for cash is not nearly as satisfying as having sex with a woman that is fucking you because she wants to.

Have to qualify this.  If comparing between equally attractive (physical beauty, social and sexual compatibility, genuine interaction (or convincingly feigned)) and you aren't dogged by the emotional hang-up of "why can't she fall in love with me because I think we had good sex".

If you can be present and enjoy sex in the moment then there are plenty of opportunities to genuinely enjoy regret-free sex with many good SPs beyond the casual civvies who may be gagging for "it" but are crap at "it"; enthusiasm doesn't always win out.  Nothing worse than "Game on!" from Miss Civvie and then finding she doesn't FK, doesn't suck cock, doesn't want RO, only does mish...  At least with an SP you have the option to agree services before you invest or can sometimes curtail and get (some) money back.

[MissWolf]

Every week?  130+ possibly genuine negatives, regardless of pnc to help your fellow punters out with.  Spend more time reviewing that's less time punting.

Sarcy jibe aside.

If you're genuinely trying to break the cycle of buying sex to distract from life then as Miss Wolf suggested commit yourself to a busy and engaging social life meeting with long-term friends or casual acquaintances.  If you don't have access to the former because their lives are family-fied then all the more reason to find new friends.

If you can take a long break from work go travelling, preferably on a budget and in countries where the local sex-trade would be inaccessible, illegal or just genuinely not as interesting as the alternative distractions readily available e.g. hiking the scenery, seeing the historic sites, enjoying the local culture, extreme/local sports, etc.
I travelled China for months with little recourse to (paid) sex, similarly New Zealand, if you can bear the US there's that crap pile, Canada.  Still have yet to travel South America or Africa.

Got some useful skills?  Try British Antarctic Survey or volunteering in poor countries or managing remote islands

Career change?

Socially aware?  Volunteer to help... conservation, drug-abuse, homeless, etc

NFC?  Meetup.com and go out every night on socials.

Still want/need sex?  Address your need for emotional fulfilment from it, get counselling.  Do you demand such guilt-ridden emotional commitment from football, a video game or any other pursuit?

If you're paying for an hour intending multiple pops but always bailing/regretting after 1 then change your punting approach, stop kidding yourself, your self-delusion is the biggest issue here.  Pay for shorter and spend less (or spend more on more "beautiful" or reliable and reputed SPs).

Loads of great suggestions and ideas there.

I have a friend who has been in a similar situation,  they joined a local walking group and its transformed their life outside of work and to an extent in work.
They are fitter, have extended their circle of friends and are now going away most weekends walking in some of the most beautiful bits of the uk with like minded folk.

[bops909]

As it said in a Fortune Cookie I opened once "don't believe everything you think" .


"Post nut clarity" (PNC) is a thing that didn't exist until very recently. We got through thousands of years without anyone labelling it.

There might be some amount of science behind PNC (oxygen levels, endorphins etc.)

There is some science to say post-orgasm you feel closer due to the oxytocin released.

Either way, with PNC there is a huge amount of hype.

Just because people rap about it and someone spoke about it on the Joe Rogan podcast doesn't make it science.

Have a think about things if they're troubling you by all means.

What you think it is, wasn't a thing on Google trends until last few years.



Hidden Image/Members Only

[pewpewpew]

I have had punters remorse a few times after knobbing proper skanks and druggies but there have been quite a few where I came away feeling better than when I went.

[marc_hotsteppa]

Loads of great suggestions and ideas there.

I have a friend who has been in a similar situation,  they joined a local wanking group and its transformed their life outside of work and to an extent in work.
They are fitter, have extended their circle of friends and are now going away most weekends walking in some of the most beautiful bits of the uk with like minded folk.

That's one way 

[MissWolf]

That's one way 

     I actually had to go back and check that auto correct hadn't given away my typing habits 

Well played sir 

[rubric]

I’ve had something similar in recent years. At first, I thought it was some sort of remorse due to the money.

For me it used to be less about the money and more about not really having any connection with the girl afterwards so not having any reason to stick around, especially if the little head had overridden the big head and I didn't find the girl as attractive in retrospect (not really about absolute levels of attractiveness, more about a drop in my levels of lust which led me to see all the flaws, but all at once). 

I found it to be much better with regulars because being slightly more familiar with someones body helps perspective and helped me - at least - to relax a little.

[DDMC30]

OP find better beautiful WGs. I only feel bad after I receive bad service.

I see 2 regulars, it feels like 2 hired girlfriends

Right on. Its a quality game more than a quantity game  Bad service or when I (occasionally ) drop my standards regarding looks it makes me feel a bit annoyed. If I have good service with a hottie I'm thinking damn I need to earn more money to do this more often.

[Stevelondon]

Loads of great suggestions and ideas there.

I have a friend who has been in a similar situation,  they joined a local walking group and its transformed their life outside of work and to an extent in work.
They are fitter, have extended their circle of friends and are now going away most weekends walking in some of the most beautiful bits of the uk with like minded folk.

Punting get together anyone 

Joking aside. It’s not as daft an idea as some might think.
Sexual punting seems very much to be a solitary hobby. Whereas in fetish circles there seems to be very much more a sense of camaraderie.

I still meet up with friends, male and female from a fetish forum I belong to.

[Jonestown]

I still meet up with friends, male and female from a fetish forum I belong to.

Ah, munches ?