Post Punt Madness

[threechilliman]

Came out of a particularly enjoyable punt today, pulled up at a pedestrian crossing with the lights on red. Allowed person to cross, then drove straight off without waiting for the lights to change. Queue behind and those on the other side looked on in disbelief. Couldn't stop myself!!

Anyone else suffered similar, post-punt brain fade??

[SirFrank]

Fuck em I say. Rules are for squares. You'd just emptied your balls so what do they expect? I posted on the does punting give your more confidence thread. Basically I punted today and I've been walking around like John Travolta on Saturday Night Fever since. In this mood women just don't stand a chance - they literally turn to shit around me...

[Rochdull lad]

Not so much "post-punt brain fade" [love that phrase, btw!]; more a case of sitting on either the train or the bus on my way home with the sort of post-punt grin  which leads all the other passengers to give me a VERY wide berth!

[CBPaul]

Yes, years ago, went back to a pretty big car park and made a lengthy and concerted effort to get into the wrong car. To be fair it was exactly the same model, year and colour as mine and I was convinced the key was buggered. On noticing the Miss Piggy air freshener I certainly didn't have it finally dawned on me and I spend a good few minutes looking casual (i.e. highly suspect) whilst wandering around wondering where the fuck I'd left my car.

[yorkshire123]

After a cheeky punt whilst driving to a clients (long distance) i drove back home by mistake, only to be asked "why are you back home" i had to make up some excuse about forgetting something.

Total "post-punt brain fade" 

[NIK]

Related to this I once drove off a garage forecourt after filling up with petrol when I was distracted by thinking about problems with a current girlfriend. I suddenly remembered I hadn't paid and came straight back.
It was embarrassing however the attendant just laughed.

[hockogrockle]

What's so special about punting? I do these sort of things every day, at least once. Mind you, I did once leave a briefcase full of confidential documents in a prossie's bedroom. Fortunately, I woke up quickly, and was back within ten minutes. And, possibly even more fortunately, I was able to retrieve it. Phew.

[carra100]

Not brain fade but post-punt (if its been a particularly good punt) i like to find a good restaurant, murder a big rare steak, bottle wine while reliving it all in my head again with a big cheesy grin on my gob......now that I think about it I must look very Hannibal Lecter.......

[Markus]

Happened to me a few weeks ago.

Had a satisfying punt and went home thinking I had covered all my tracks - fresh minty breath, re-applied cologne etc. Only when I got off the train did someone tap me on the shoulder and say 'you've got your sweater on the wrong way mate'

Saved me from having to make up ridiculous excuses.

[vorian]

Not brain fade but post-punt (if its been a particularly good punt) i like to find a good restaurant, murder a big rare steak, bottle wine while reliving it all in my head again with a big cheesy grin on my gob......now that I think about it I must look very Hannibal Lecter.......

Sounds very similar to my post punt rituals.

[potato]

After one of my long punts with my reg I find it quite difficult to join reality again. I go into auto-pilot on the drive home and often wonder whether the sets of lights were on green or not, or a junction was clear,  as my mind is still elsewhere.   I have a checklist to ensure that I return home the same way as I left including smelling the same and having my clothes on in the right order!  I also have to check that our meeting place is in order as well - counting condom wrappers match condoms etc., so that there is no incriminating evidence left. I don't have OCD but I could see that it is one time when it would help!

[threechilliman]

After one of my long punts with my reg I find it quite difficult to join reality again. I go into auto-pilot on the drive home and often wonder whether the sets of lights were on green or not, or a junction was clear,  as my mind is still elsewhere.   I have a checklist to ensure that I return home the same way as I left including smelling the same and having my clothes on in the right order!  I also have to check that our meeting place is in order as well - counting condom wrappers match condoms etc., so that there is no incriminating evidence left. I don't have OCD but I could see that it is one time when it would help!

A new motoring offence has been born. Driving whilst under the influence of Punting!! 

[yorkshire123]

A new motoring offence has been born. Driving whilst under the influence of Punting!! 

3 points or Post punting awareness course 

[Horizontal pleasures]

beware speeding or parking or driving offences while in an area where and when you were not supposed to be! I had one once and claimed to have been lost which was true, wrong way down a city centre one way street.

On the same tack, I nearly gave the game away when there was a sudden family discussion about punts but flat bottomed boats in Cambridge was the subject.

[yorkshire123]

beware speeding or parking or driving offences while in an area where and when you were not supposed to be! I had one once and claimed to have been lost which was true, wrong way down a city centre one way street.

Try explaining a motorway service parking ticket for 2 in the morning when your supposed to be 150 miles away. That was a fucking close shave 

[threechilliman]

A case of Pre-punt brain fade. When visiting an apartment, WG gave me the number and made my way up. Three doors to choose from. Just as I was about to knock, I realised I was stood outside the wrong door.....

Might have been a right surprise for both of us

[smiths]

Came out of a particularly enjoyable punt today, pulled up at a pedestrian crossing with the lights on red. Allowed person to cross, then drove straight off without waiting for the lights to change. Queue behind and those on the other side looked on in disbelief. Couldn't stop myself!!

Anyone else suffered similar, post-punt brain fade??

Yes after 8 hours partying i have been cream crackered but still had to drive home, had a couple of near misses. I stop nowadays and have something to eat as i am usually ravenous then drive home.

[willbred]

I'm always starving after an hour's punt, so stop for something sensible as soon as. god knows what I would be like after a party.

[Horizontal pleasures]

I'm always starving after an hour's punt, so stop for something sensible as soon as. god knows what I would be like after a party.

Cynthia Payne used to produce fried eggs and toast for her punters at her afternoon parties.

[wazzockchops]

A case of Pre-punt brain fade. When visiting an apartment, WG gave me the number and made my way up. Three doors to choose from. Just as I was about to knock, I realised I was stood outside the wrong door.....

Might have been a right surprise for both of us

Many years ago I did knock on the wrong house, 313 instead of 331 or something similar. I got the impression I wasn't the first to make the mistake as I got a load of verbal when they opened the door.

[Dogfather]

I had a double up post punt madness once.

Was leaving a certain Bristol lady and got to the main entrance downstairs.
Pushed on the door for about 30 seconds wondering why it wouldn't open.
Missed the big letters facing me saying P U L L.

Followed it up by then walking straight across the road without looking left and right.
Got to the other side and then had that dawning thought of what might have happened.

[Charlie Chalk]

On my 2nd punt I visited a girl on the way back from a business meeting. With it being my first visit I didn’t want to risk taking my laptop with me so, since I’d taken the train, I checked it in to Left Luggage at the station. Post-punt (and a helluva good punt it was) I of course lost the ticket so ended up having to describe the bag and contents to the staff in order to get it back... My next visit to the same girl I ended up leaving my watch and glasses behind. Remembered 2 mins later, quick call and got them back so all was well but lesson learned - don’t take anything with you that you could leave behind.

Visited a girl last year, ended up turning right instead of left when leaving her apartment block and ended up in what looked to be a gated (and very locked) car park. Luckily there was a pedestrian exit which I eventually found which was better than the alternative of climbing over the 8ft fence - or worse still, calling her and admitting to being a complete twat.

Revisited her a couple of months ago and congratulated myself on successfully exiting her building. Strolled to the nearby store car park, walked to where I’d parked: no car! Looked around, checked I was in the right place: no car! Started to panic as I had absolutely no reason to be in this town or even area. Took out the remote and started blipping to see if I could find it that way, then eventually found it a few rows back from where I was convinced I’d left it. The relief was indescribable.

My next booking is only a few days away so I’m hoping for much less drama this time.

[workinallweek]

Couldn't remember where I'd parked my car the other week  ....

On trying to find an address I nearly got run over by a van ...

After a meal break and a few beers was going back to the hotel and the cab got the wrong hotel and refused to go to the right one ...

[John Johnson]

I was seeing a very cute redheaded waitress/part time escort many years ago. She used to get very turned on by having her breasts played with. Anyway, one evening in my hotel room she was getting very excited, she was naked and I wasn't but there was lots of rubbing and wriggling. The following morning I was in the office when a mate of mine pointed and said "What's that on your trouser leg?" I looked down to see shiny, silver, dried vaginal secretions up my thigh from the night before.

I explained that I had no idea and made some excuse about parking next to a hedge, cobwebs...some similar shit, and headed off to the gents to sort myself out.

[Zak67]

Putting my shirt on after a punt to go back to work.

SP noticed the condom wrapper on my shoulder

[WASA38]

Brother-in-law drove me to a Chinese takeaway to pick up pre-ordered meal. Stopped at kerb bang outside the shop door.
I picked up the meal (ready and waiting), paid, out through one door, in through the second and sat down in the passenger seat of the car. Then realised that my brother-in-law had transformed into an attractive young blonde ! Whoops !
He had driven off to turn the car round and she'd parked in his place. Luckily she was cool and had a sense of humour.

[RLondon99]

i like to find a good restaurant, murder a big rare steak, bottle wine while reliving it all in my head again

Enjoy the rare steak after almost as much as what has gone before. And in civilian life I'm a vegetarian.

Then again in civilian life I'm also a morally upstanding pillar of the community.

[NelsonH]

I know this thread is basically humourous but I think a serious point is hiding in here.

All these accounts are rather similar.  Small lapses of concentration with potentially inconvenient or dangerous outcomes.

Not natural to mate a partner and then run off out hunting.  You'd lie about and probably sleep a bit.

It's low blood sugar or something like that.

I think we all need to take this as a useful warning.  I'm going to sit in the car and eat a chocolate bar or something.

[Dogfather]

I know this thread is basically humourous but I think a serious point is hiding in here.

All these accounts are rather similar.  Small lapses of concentration with potentially inconvenient or dangerous outcomes.

Not natural to mate a partner and then run off out hunting.  You'd lie about and probably sleep a bit.

It's low blood sugar or something like that.

I think we all need to take this as a useful warning.  I'm going to sit in the car and eat a chocolate bar or something.

You've got to survive getting to the car first. 

[Sleet]

After my first ever FS punt, I was accosted by a local skanky vagrant/crack head/drunk at the bus stop.

I actually gave him some money which was the first and last time I’ve done so.
Obviously some Neural Pathways were miss firing due to my earlier experience.

[confetti]

One early punt with an agency girl years ago which was particularly mind blowing left an hour punt without paying a penny.  She never asked for the money and I forgot.  Strange one as she had given me her mobile number anyway so rang her did the honerable/naive thing and went back with money as she had been a cracker of a punt.  Got a cheeky extra ten minutes in and did see her a couple more times.

[winkywanky]

I know this thread is basically humourous but I think a serious point is hiding in here.

All these accounts are rather similar.  Small lapses of concentration with potentially inconvenient or dangerous outcomes.

Not natural to mate a partner and then run off out hunting.  You'd lie about and probably sleep a bit.

It's low blood sugar or something like that.

I think we all need to take this as a useful warning.  I'm going to sit in the car and eat a chocolate bar or something.

I should imagine it'll be hormonal.

But only women are allowed to 'have hormones'. All us chaps need to just get on with it...as usual...(while women excuse the dumb things they sometimes do by blaming their hormones).

[threechilliman]

You've got to survive getting to the car first. 

I've had difficulty with that before now. Came out of one punt and couldn't remember where the fuck I'd parked my car.

[TheMurloc]

I've had difficulty with that before now. Came out of one punt and couldn't remember where the fuck I'd parked my car.

You didn’t you come on public transport

[luv2kiss54]

On my 2nd punt I visited a girl on the way back from a business meeting. With it being my first visit I didn’t want to risk taking my laptop with me so, since I’d taken the train, I checked it in to Left Luggage at the station. Post-punt (and a helluva good punt it was) I of course lost the ticket so ended up having to describe the bag and contents to the staff in order to get it back... My next visit to the same girl I ended up leaving my watch and glasses behind. Remembered 2 mins later, quick call and got them back so all was well but lesson learned - don’t take anything with you that you could leave behind.

Visited a girl last year, ended up turning right instead of left when leaving her apartment block and ended up in what looked to be a gated (and very locked) car park. Luckily there was a pedestrian exit which I eventually found which was better than the alternative of climbing over the 8ft fence - or worse still, calling her and admitting to being a complete twat.

Revisited her a couple of months ago and congratulated myself on successfully exiting her building. Strolled to the nearby store car park, walked to where I’d parked: no car! Looked around, checked I was in the right place: no car! Started to panic as I had absolutely no reason to be in this town or even area. Took out the remote and started blipping to see if I could find it that way, then eventually found it a few rows back from where I was convinced I’d left it. The relief was indescribable.

My next booking is only a few days away so I’m hoping for much less drama this time.

I had the same experience as you mention in the 2nd para but yikes i couldn't find any pedestrain way out so i was locked in the basement car park ( wonder if it was the same girl !). Any ways i started to panic and just bit the bullet and climbed said fence/wall - luckily no one saw me but grazed all my hands !

[donnybob]

Not a punt as such, but a massage, and this was in the days before I realised happy endings existed, yep honestly

Had a young lady who had literally just finished her course and needed to up her hours she offered me two hours instead of the one I wanted

After it she advised me to drink water etc, I was so weak in my legs it was a while before I could make it to the car and at least another half an hour before I could drive away

I have never felt anything as intense since

[cueball]

Bloody hell, this is an old thread 

Treechiliman was a likkle lad when he started this one, way back in the old days of black n white internet and reasonable prices 

[threechilliman]

Bloody hell, this is an old thread 

Treechiliman was a likkle lad when he started this one, way back in the old days of black n white internet and reasonable prices 

Aye, just out of school.....

I don't even recall starting it, so when it appeared again recently, I clicked on thinking 'Let's see what this muppets on about'

[paper7]

Fuck em I say. Rules are for squares. You'd just emptied your balls so what do they expect? I posted on the does punting give your more confidence thread. Basically I punted today and I've been walking around like John Travolta on Saturday Night Fever since. In this mood women just don't stand a chance - they literally turn to shit around me...

I'd expect the plod to love that defence.

PC99 pulls you over, you wind down your window, "Hello, do you realise you just went through a red light?"

You, "Did I? My apologies if I did, I was momentarily distracted."

PC99 sniffs, "Distracted?? By what may I ask??"

You, "Extremely recent memories of a punt with the filthiest girl in town!"

PC99, "Tell that to the judge, if he's seen her he might let you go!"

[Watfordpunter97]

I have a habit of getting lost when trying to leave blocks of flats. I choose the wrong floor in the lift, go through random doors and realise it's the carpark basement and the door I just shut behind me requires a key pass to go back through so walk up the car ramp exit. I've done this at least 4 times, too much excitement to take in my surroundings when entering!!

[Dogfather]

I have a habit of getting lost when trying to leave blocks of flats. I choose the wrong floor in the lift, go through random doors and realise it's the carpark basement and the door I just shut behind me requires a key pass to go back through so walk up the car ramp exit. I've done this at least 4 times, too much excitement to take in my surroundings when entering!!

I've commented a few times "does that guy know this ramp is only for cars?". Now I know why.

[Barry chuckle]

My biggest brain out moment came about when driving off from a punt, I exited  the wg's council estate & turned right to head back the way I came
and only when I was confronted with a roundabout I realised I was driving the wrong way down a dual carriage way, FUCK, speedy readjustment at the roundabout to get back on the right track and thanking fuck there was no other traffic about 

[HappyHarryIV]

After sampling the menu in a German RLD and exiting the building the half naked SP shouted out of the 3rd floor window "you forgot your glasses".

[Dark_Gable]

Once, after a punt, I was in a daze and ran a red light with a crowd of people waiting to cross. Thankfully none of them had stepped into the road.

[datwabbit]

I had a punt in an unfamiliar area of a city. Parked up car and walked to flat. After the punt, it was dark and I couldn't remember where the car was. The streets all looked the same. I could be walking around for hours and I'd told the missus I wouldn't be long. Panic set in and my head got emptier.

By pure good luck I found the car.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

I had a punt in an unfamiliar area of a city. Parked up car and walked to flat. After the punt, it was dark and I couldn't remember where the car was. The streets all looked the same. I could be walking around for hours and I'd told the missus I wouldn't be long. Panic set in and my head got emptier.

By pure good luck I found the car.

Much the same here! used to punt in London quite a bit would park the car up in North london then take the tube as it made the parking issue easier for me at least! Saw this cracking Japanese girl was well away with the faries and when I got back to the place i'd left the motah i was dammed if i could remember where i left it, was faffing around for over a bloody hour!

Sat down as me feet were killing me relaxed a bit then saw the bloody thing right in front of me! I was wondering if she slipped anything in a drink we had?

Just been looking I can find the place were i met her even remember the flat number but buggered if i can find that place up near highgate as best i remember large terraced houses. Was really taken aback cos normally i have an excellent sense of direction!