I think I'm seriously in the shit - advice please

[DeeDee]

I made a booking with: External Link/Members Only
for the early hours of Saturday morning. Comms were great and friendly, so I went through with the booking. Got delayed by traffic and was running a bit late, so called her to say I would be 15 mins late - she sounded a bit annoyed but said it was fine. Got to her road, waited round the corner and texted to say I was here; got a text back saying she was running 10 mins late, could I wait. I felt a bit uncomfortable as it was 5.30 in the morning on an estate I didn't know my way around. I texted back: no probs, I'll wait. After 20 mins I called - no answer, but a text saying she had cut her leg and she was just cleaning up the blood and she wouldn't be long. I decided to go home, thinking I had been scammed.

After about 5 mins on the motorway, I noticed I was being tailed; after a few minutes I realised that the same cars were constantly overtaking me whilst some tailed me or drove slowly in front of me. I tried to lose them by taking back/country roads, but they seemed to be everywhere. After 2 hours of driving around and constant following/harrassment by cars and bikes I was fed up. I got a text from her number accusing me of not going through with the booking and wasting her time - I had waited half an hour before leaving! I knew I couldn't go home or to anyone I knew as I was being followed constantly. I drove to near my hometown - having first driven around numerous other towns nearby to try to put them of the scent of where I lived, parked up at local services and decided to wait them out.  Eventually, I was pretty happy that they had all gone into the services (I could see them watching my car) or had left. I went to the police station and gave them the reg numbers etc, but they weren't interested in seeing me home safely and I think they thought I was a paranoid village idiot or something. I then drove home via a long, winding route and was happy that I wasn't being followed anymore.

This morning, I asked a friend (a fellow punter) to check out the road that connects where I live to the local town, giving him descriptions of cars/bikes with some reg numbers, as I wanted to go out but was feeling a little worried that maybe I had been spotted going home. He spotted two of the cars and one bike from the list I gave him and said that there were other cars who were driving up and down the road without actually going anywhere.

What the hell do I do?

[OldAdmin]

What's the point of making up bollocks like this?

[OldAdmin]

"following/harrassment by cars and bikes I was fed up"

Yes it's called TRAFFIC

[carefree]

Bore off

[tallguy74]

What did I just read

[PLeisure]

Ease off the gak, 'mate'

Or have a word wiv yer dealer. Jeezus 

[Corus Boy]

What did I just read

A leaked script from a B grade spy movie! 

[SmackmaBitchUp]

"following/harrassment by cars and bikes I was fed up"

Yes it's called TRAFFIC

Classic! 

[Sureshot]

Who fucks a prossie at 5.30!in the morning???

[Ipunter]

Must have woke up with a serious hard on!

[Vivago]

Who fucks a prossie at 5.30!in the morning???

The milkman?

[RedKettle]

..... and I think they thought I was a paranoid village idiot or something.

They were quite right.

[tazz]

Who goes with a prossie that doesnt have any reviews at 5:30am, sounds bonkers to me.

[RedKettle]

What the hell do I do?

Well I would say fuck off.

[cueball]

What the hell do I do?

Getting banned on your first post is always a good start

[iPad3]

Now come on lads I think your all being a bit unfair here, in my experience most prossies I've seen have at least 3 cars and a few bikes loaded with security staff ready to be dispatched if required. He probably parked in the wrong space in her road thereby forcing her to unleash her private task force.

Looks like he was lucky though what with his counter terrorism training and all!!

[James999]

What the hell do I do?

Make sure your homework is done ready for school in the morning

[Siadwel]

Make sure your homework is done ready for school in the morning

Oh fuck, is it half-term again?

[RedKettle]

No but it is GCSE time so kids on study leave and bored with revision - this could go on for weeks

[brightperv]

I think the problem is that you need to go for a more up market hooker. I never go with a girl unless she has no less than one helicopter at her disposal, or at least a drone.

[MancSean]

Who fucks a prossie at 5.30!in the morning???

Plus he was late on a Saturday morning at 5.30 am due to traffic in Portsmouth!  What a nob but probably looking for a reaction.
Deserves to be banned

[AgedCases]

Sounded like the trouble I get myself into...when playing GTAV!

[Bigus Dickus]

When I read this tripe I initially thought WTF! Then I decided that it was the prossie or her pimp writing this for some PR!

Either that or the OP is a fruit loop!

 

[wheeliebinwanking]

Grand Theft Auto isn't Real Life

I am surprised he didn't do a few car jacking and run over pedestrians

[HappyandLucky]

That's 3 minutes I will never get back. OP you're a total cunt. I wonder if trolls like this would post if we posted street view photos of their address 

[Diehard]

Bikers tailing him eh. Maybe they were warming up for the shoutout across the pond. 

[mf_1101]

Advice?

Try adding a shootout to the finale, or a plot twist, always adds to the excitement to the story.

Good luck in your career as a fiction author.

[doc14]

must have been a member of the royal family he was hoping to bang and her protection squad saw him off

[cueball]

Bikers tailing him eh. Maybe they were warming up for the shoutout across the pond. 

Less than two weeks away

[SamLP]

Well the prossie in question states she's available 24/7 and from dusk till dawn..
In her interview her favourite holiday destination is South Africa and her favourite gift is Diamonds so that may explain the cars trailing him as part of the blood diamond gangs who thought he was coming to steal their precious jewels.. but then she has a Chinese tattoo on her shoulder so she may have sworn an oath to a Triad of sorts who in return will protect her from unknown visitors at 5.30 in the morning.

[Excalibur]

You are indeed in deep shit Dee Dee. Those were undercover coppers from the National Crime Agency. I've had it from good authority from two mates in the NCA (Regan and Carter) that your date was the mastermind behind the Hatton Garden jewellery heist.  SamLP was partially correct with her penchant for diamonds. Ignore that bollocks about the Royal Family mate, totally fictious BS from a fantasist.  My advice: keep your head down and stay frosty.

[HappyandLucky]

You are indeed in deep shit Dee Dee. Those were undercover coppers from the National Crime Agency. I've had it from good authority from two mates in the NCA (Regan and Carter) that your date was the mastermind behind the Hatton Garden jewellery heist.  SamLP was partially correct with her penchant for diamonds. Ignore that bollocks about the Royal Family mate, totally fictious BS from a fantasist.  My advice: keep your head down and stay frosty.

And stay banned OP.

[Northerndave666]

I gave Robert DeNiro a call, he says even though he used to be a good actor and nowadays prostitutes his 'acting' for any amount of money, he wouldn't touch this script, as in his words "That's a bag of shite"

[Fragilehand]

Gotta say the ending got me! The part where the prossie cut her leg I thought we were on to a murder! Maybe we will get a part 2? 

[NottsDB]

Lol, like something out of a movie haha!

[Ali Katt]

A leaked script from a B grade spy movie! 

James Blonde - Unlicensed to masturbate?

The man with the golden cock (attached to his head)