Frankfurt Fun Part 1: FKK Sharks June 2025
I usually swing my way through Berlin and hit Artemis but I was curious for something different – hence the Wankfurt layover to do two things 1) check out Sharks and 2) make a triumphant return to the Red Light district. There is a lot going on here so I am doing two posts – this for Sharks and another for a post-COVID look at the RLD.
The human mind is a strange thing. A week ago I was GAGGING for a brass, getting hyped for my long-awaited return to sharks. Gassed even, as the YGs would say. But on the day I just wasn’t feeling it. I dragged my feet that morning, filling time with nothing in particular, weighing up the other options for the day. Thankfully it was Sunday and Wankfurt was DEAD and stiflingly hot – this was not a day to sit in my shitting hotel room with no air conditioning or walk the filthy crack head filled streets. So I said fuck it and got the train to Darmstadt.
Fucking uninspiring town to say the least. Train was also late. It was in the mid 30s C - blazing, humid and I arrived in a mood with the right asshole. Seeing a skinny Rom with clown tits getting dropped off by her roided up ponce almost made me buck and turn back.
But I was hungry at I was eligible for the €50 early bird ticket. I went in just behind my new plastic friend and was met with grim news - entry to be paid cash only - thankfully onsite cash machines don’t charge a silly access fee. I had cash but that was to splash on gash, not the fucking day ticket. Needs must, stumped up the cash and went in.
It was baking inside – way too hot – and everyone was struggling. The ventilation inside the club needs a lot of work, especially given that its in a large warehouse style building that behaves like an oven. It was PACKED! Heaving, blokes and prozzies everywhere. The garden was also buzzing – hard to get a seat near the pool or anywhere else. I was hank marvin and wasn’t expecting much from the buffet. However, wow, what a spread! Eggs, cheese, various meats sausages cheeses plenty of different sauces in a dedicated mini fridge but the highlight – smoked salmon and pickled herrings! Rye break, normal break, pastries, deserts, fruit. I’ve had worse spreads in a 4 star business hotel. This spanks the ass off of the usual miserable boiled eggs in Artemis in Berlin and I tucked in and had a feed. This perked my up no end and after I retreated to the garden for a bit of naked sunbathing. It was quite funny to see many of the working girls had the same idea – sun glasses on and legs wide open with nice waxed meaty love boxes out in the sun which even though I was weighed down with about ten pounds of herrings, it got my wurst twitching. Chilled for a good 30-40 minutes and it was realistically too hot for this and I retreated to the baking bar area for some refreshments. At this point I was really getting the horn watching all the birds strutting around, or sitting around smoking and flirting, or frankly just with a killer resting bitch face – 95% Romanian girls, less diverse than Artemis but the standard was high. Also, they are not forthcoming. I am not sure if this is official sharks policy or something but unlike most other FKK’s I’ve visited the most of the girls wont come up and harass you. Fuck sake they often don’t even look as they go past or even hold eye contact when you look at them and especially when they are sitting down it makes the thought of approaching frankly a bit intimidating.
I zoomed in on a tall, green-eyed girl who reminded me a bit of an old neighbour – Katherin. It took a good five minutes to get her attention across the room, and it was only thanks to her make seeing me waving that she ended up coming over! I am going to admit it upfront – I overpaid. €150 for 30 with OWO, kissing, she was rubbing my dick promising an excellent service. But she DELIVERED – and as a nice touched found us a cool AC room on the ground floor – keep this in mind the rooms upstairs are BAKING. She was excellent – stroking with her fake nails, deep kissing, nipple licking, ball play, OWO was slow, sensual, amazing plenty of eye contact and no rush what to ever. I wanted sex before I shot my bolt and while kissing, licking, stroking and fucking in missionary she was doing a range of different pelvic floor movements it was fucking fantastic and I nutted hard, deep and long and she didn’t push me off, again no rush. I lay back totally spent, with that deep ache inside your abdomen you sometimes get when you have a really deep intense orgasm. We lay, chatted, stroked, Jesus I was almost in love.
I paid, we parted ways and I went back to the bar for a drink. I needed a steam so checked out the wellness area. One sauna, one steam, one cold plunge – all decent – including a handy drinking water machine and cups nearby. This pips Artemis whose steam room is only in the garden so closed in winter. Also, there a sauna meister who did regular infusions every hour which were nice and he took them seriously as if we were not in a glorified fuck shop. However, the garden sauna was broken, as was the ice machine and I know its picky but a place making this much cash really should work harder to keep up standards – there’s no excuses really. This is not your local council run broke leisure centre staffed by young offenders on day release. Also, the garden and outdoor area near the wellness were both pretty grubby – and I understand that the place is busy but again really they should have higher standards as at times it was a bit gross and a few of the regular old German farts commented on a drop in standards in recent years. I am not precious, but really come on.
After a good moan with an old naked German and a few go arounds it was time for a rest. I was agnostic about a second pop – I was already €210 down on the day including the train up. I was hovering around and just couldn’t keep my eyes off a petite bottle blonde – slightly MILFY, well done fake tits, small nipples, well done fake lips, slim cigarette aloft. Fuck I am getting hard writing about her – she looked like a high class whore out a good porn movie. She kept smiling over and I approached and she (Samia, Czech apparently but who the fuck really knows or cares when they have a stiffy) quoted €100 for the same service – kissing, OWO, fucking, 30 minutes – and this time she also mentioned finding us a cool AC room. I really shouldn’t, and I thanked her and took a couple of steps away and she smiled politely and said no worries – this just sealed the deal - fuck it I am not in sharks every day. We went to the room and again it was fantastic – kissing, stroking, ball play, she knew how to play a man like a fiddle it was fantastic and she was so fit looking at her in the mirror with my cock in her mouth. We played, we fucked a bit but on such a quick second pop I couldn’t get over the edge so I got her to suck me off – she offered CIM for €50 but I declined and she sucked and wanked me for an explosive finish. Fuck me I didn’t know I could produce so much man muck in one day. She cleaned me up and I complimented her on her service and she said she used to be an escort and not work at a club. If she worked in London I would be bankrupt!
I exited to the garden and a BBQ was in full swing. I wasn’t hungry – back to the wellness for a few more cycles and it was starting to get late – circa 8pm. I took a very long dip in the cold pool to properly cool down and went to the garden for the BBQ. I wasn’t expecting much but it was fantastic – steak, spicy beef sausage, marinated chicken thighs, good range of sides, freshly prepared deserts, fruit. What a spread! Honestly, €50 entry for the wellness, soft drinks and food of this quality is a steal – especially given how expensive Frankfurt can be for basic fast-food even in the shitty part near the station. If you could train it there, be disciplined and not do a brass you would be quids in! Got the train back to my shitty hotel and fell into a deep deep sleep.
Part 2: The Return of the Red-Light district coming to a punting forum near you soon!
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