Massage pleasures and problems?

[Horizontal pleasures]

After a massage there is usually the remains of scent and or oiliness; this would leave clues for missus HP, which is why I avoid massages? I used  to like them.
What does the team think?

In the days before UKP there was a mature massage, not a parlour but a soloist in London N2. Ruth would do a dry massage with an oily happy ending.

aha, it is still there, wow, I thought she was mature in the late 1980s and 1990s ...
External Link/Members Only

[myothernameis]

After a massage there is usually the remains of scent and or oiliness; this would leave clues for missus HP, which is why I avoid massages? I used  to like them.
What does the team think?

Say you have been for a legitimate massage, a place like External Link/Members Only

Go for a proper massage, and then go to the other massage with HR/HE, the missus will be done the wiser

[Horizontal pleasures]

Say you have been for a legitimate massage, a place like External Link/Members Only

Go for a proper massage, and then go to the other massage with HR/HE, the missus will be done the wiser

yes she will as I 'never' go for a massage. Thanks anyway.

[Corus Boy]

Keep a bottle of your personal shower gel in your punting bag and shower well after.

Do make sure you clean your feet of oil before going for a shower! Oil, water and shower trays do not mix well.

If you are a gym user, schedule your massage with time to visit the gym after.  This will need a change of clothes as oil may have transfered to yourstreet clothes.

[ProtocolDroid]

For me a good hot shower afterwards and thorough towel scrub do the trick; would never go see a girl for a massage if I know there are no facilities.

[Horizontal pleasures]

sorry to be negative, I am a positive thinker.

I hate showers, which the Missus HP knows, I like a real bath so coming home damp would be a real error!. Perhaps I should take up 'swimming' as a keep fit hobby! Hehe, a nice wheeze I just thought of!

[sonyvaio]

Say you have been for a legitimate massage, a place like External Link/Members Only

Go for a proper massage, and then go to the other massage with HR/HE, the missus will be done the wiser

They have a pretty unfortunate road name in their address for a legit place!

[Horizontal pleasures]

They have a pretty unfortunate road name in their address for a legit place!

Cumming Drive
you could not make it up!

[Pen2015]

Dry massage isn't that bad. Couldn't you just do without the oil all together?

[FootieMadJonny]

sorry to be negative, I am a positive thinker.

I hate showers, which the Missus HP knows, I like a real bath so coming home damp would be a real error!. Perhaps I should take up 'swimming' as a keep fit hobby! Hehe, a nice wheeze I just thought of!

You shouldn't need to come home "damp" just shower your body and dry? You don't need to wet your hair? 

[Sticky]

Get missus HP a gift cert or similar for couples for a massage and then enthuse over your new found love of them.

She goes to a legit massage therapist and you get your HE somewhere else. Everyone's a winner 

[Sparquin]

You might buy some Pjur silicone based lube which is a superb massage oil. It is unscented and will have been fully absorbed by the time you leave.

Do not get it on the soles of your feet as it is very slippery. 

[Marmalade]

Massage is very passive and there's a temptation to be passive in accepting what you get. I befan giving some direction to my masseuse and found she seemed pleased.

Consider naybe phoning ahead and saying you would prefer to have unscented oils.

[3002steve]

just have a shower , surely the mrs wont inspect you to see if youre still damp?

tin of your fav deodorant in the car for a quick spray down

[Marmalade]

If you have the opportunity to shower first when you get home, there's an (upmarket) scrub based on oil and salt that's highly effective (PM me if you need the name). It would remove any traces. So would most scrubs though. You could get some for the house, for mutual use, and take a second lot with you to shower with after your massage. Same smell as you went out of the house with in the morning...

[Sonny Crockett]

Massages are pretty much a prossies time wasting tactic.

[Marmalade]

Massages are pretty much a prossies time wasting tactic.

Yeah but I think he's saying that he goes for the massage isn't he? They are only a time-wasting tactic if you go there for a shag and don't want a massage.