Claudyaaa XXX (Previously Claudya Porn)- Hillingdon - Don't use her toilet

[PapaSmurf]

Claudyaaa XXX
External Link/Members Only

This is an old review that I've had in the chamber for a while when I saw her in I saw her in Canary Wharf. She disappeared so I didn't think she was worth reviewing, but she's back in Hillingdon.

COMMS:
I remember comms being solid, but upon arrival she made me wait for about 20-30 minutes. Possible double booking or her bad time management.

MEET:
She looks like her pics, slightly bigger. No surprise there. Not really fat "just thicker". Seemed friendly enough.

PUNT:
*Needed to use the toilet. Took a shit. Flushed and cleaned up as best as I could, then made my way to the bed.

*Her spider sense must've started to tingle because she went to check the toilet before we started, then came back unimpressed grumbling about me taking a shit. (Just to make it clear, there was no floaters, or skid marks. At worse some specks.)

*At that point the vibe was dead for me. She tried to turn the charm back on, right after scolding me, but I could tell she was distant and unengaged. I think I go a BJ, and just left.

Funnily enough, if she didn't make me wait, I wouldn't have needed to use the toilet at that time. 

SUMMARY
Made me wait, then shamed me for using the toilet.
2 yellow cards = instant red. 


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[Global_Punter]

I've seen @Claudyaaa XXX a couple of times, she's nice and responsive - but like most EE's you might get a scolding if you piss them off 

She tends to disappear and reappear, as she comes and goes back to Hungary where she's based full time!

The waiting I concur she's done it to me a few times, it might be because the last punter may have overstayed by 5 - 10 mins etc IMO she's not one to kick you out.

Regards using her toilet to do a number two, I've only ever used an SP's toilet to do a number 1 - problem with number two is the smell and some folks will frown at you using their toilet for anything besides number 1.

Just as an advise, I normally look out for a pub or coffee shop and use their toilet then head for a punt if required - to avoid what just happened to yourself.

In addition it may seem as though you didn't take a shower afterwards which some SP's will also find annoying.

In all, better luck next time, but I wouldn't give an SP a neg for using her facilities for a number 2 - as I can relate why she was upset!

[PapaSmurf]

I've seen @Claudyaaa XXX a couple of times, she's nice and responsive - but like most EE's you might get a scolding if you piss them off 

She tends to disappear and reappear, as she comes and goes back to Hungary where she's based full time!

The waiting I concur she's done it to me a few times, it might be because the last punter may have overstayed by 5 - 10 mins etc IMO she's not one to kick you out.

Regards using her toilet to do a number two, I've only ever used an SP's toilet to do a number 1 - problem with number two is the smell and some folks will frown at you using their toilet for anything besides number 1.

Just as an advise, I normally look out for a pub or coffee shop and use their toilet then head for a punt if required - to avoid what just happened to yourself.

In addition it may seem as though you didn't take a shower afterwards which some SP's will also find annoying.

In all, better luck next time, but I wouldn't give an SP a neg for using her facilities for a number 2 - as I can relate why she was upset!

I generally HATE using the toilet at SP's location. I time my bowl movements. Use a public loo's near by etc. I don't even drink so my bladder doesn't get triggered. But as I stated in my review, she kept me waiting and that threw off my timing.

I would have been in and out like the wind, had she kept to our original time. And WTF is she going do? Cancel the booking because I took a crap? Completely pointless and unnecessary thing to do.

[isaac_gauss]

Rule 263: never shit where you punt

edit: am I right to guess this was 15 minutes? Seems she no longer advertises for that.

[Global_Punter]

I generally HATE using the toilet at SP's location. I time my bowl movements. Use a public loo's near by etc. I don't even drink so my bladder doesn't get triggered. But as I stated in my review, she kept me waiting and that threw off my timing.

I would have been in and out like the wind, had she kept to our original time. And WTF is she going do? Cancel the booking because I took a crap? Completely pointless and unnecessary thing to do.

I frequent FKK and girls will insist you shower after using the toilet even if it's a number 1 - refusal can lead to her terminating the booking.

In addition personally I will not continue the session if an SP did a number two without showering! what if she / yourself put her a finger up each others ass or something ? doo-doo everywhere

It's just one of those punting etiquettes me thinks.

[Global_Punter]

Rule 263: never shit where you punt

edit: am I right to guess this was 15 minutes? Seems she no longer advertises for that.

Haha, you got me there - I actually had to check the site rules again 

[PapaSmurf]

Rule 263: never shit where you punt

edit: am I right to guess this was 15 minutes? Seems she no longer advertises for that.

I frequent FKK and girls will insist you shower after using the toilet even if it's a number 1 - refusal can lead to her terminating the booking.

In addition personally I will not continue the session if an SP did a number two without showering! what if she / yourself put her a finger up each others ass or something ? doo-doo everywhere

It's just one of those punting etiquettes me thinks.

Wouldn't have been an issue if she didn't make me wait, so it's her problem.

I'm going to start canceling session with WG's that pull that stuff.

[GingerNuts]

You can't really remember the services you received, how long ago was this meeting?

[PapaSmurf]

You can't really remember the services you received, how long ago was this meeting?

Few years ago. I think I tapped out 15 minutes into a 30 minute session. Vibe got very negative.

This isn't really a review about her services tbh. I just wanted to highlight he crappy attitude.

Weirdly enough, she might be a good SP for the right punter. The timing wasn't right for me I guess.

[GingerNuts]

Few years ago. I think I tapped out 15 minutes into a 30 minute session. Vibe got very negative.

This isn't really a review about her services tbh. I just wanted to highlight he crappy attitude.

Weirdly enough, she might be a good SP for the right punter. The timing wasn't right for me I guess.

Unfortunately that's way too long ago so I've moved the thread to Regional Discussion.

For a long standing member like yourself reviews have to be posted within six months of the meeting.

4 Reviews
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[sensualencounter]

Not good form to leave you waiting for so long but it’s fucking rank that you’ve crimped one off and didn’t wash your arse and you still expect her mouth and nose to be mere centimetres from your arsehole, if not closer. It doesn’t matter how well you’ve wiped, it won’t be spotlessly clean.

Two wrongs don’t make a right and you also had the option to not wait for her. It’s also a bit of a worry that, had she let you in on time, you’d have needed a shit 20-30 minutes into a 30 minute punt. What were you going to do, cum and run to the toilet for a dump before leaving? You said you time your bowel movements, well that doesn’t look like good timing to me.

I’d be fucking furious if I was her, doesn’t matter if I’d made you wait or not.

[PapaSmurf]

Unfortunately that's way too long ago so I've moved the thread to Regional Discussion.

For a long standing member like yourself reviews have to be posted within six months of the meeting.

Fair enough. But like I said, she removed her profile a month or so after we met, so there wasn't even a profile I could use as reference.   
If those are the rules, I won't argue with you.

[PapaSmurf]

Not good form to leave you waiting for so long but it’s fucking rank that you’ve crimped one off and didn’t wash your arse and you still expect her mouth and nose to be mere centimetres from your arsehole, if not closer. It doesn’t matter how well you’ve wiped, it won’t be spotlessly clean.

Two wrongs don’t make a right and you also had the option to not wait for her. It’s also a bit of a worry that, had she let you in on time, you’d have needed a shit 20-30 minutes into a 30 minute punt. What were you going to do, cum and run to the toilet for a dump before leaving? You said you time your bowel movements, well that doesn’t look like good timing to me.

I’d be fucking furious if I was her, doesn’t matter if I’d made you wait or not.

Nope, I would have left and gone to a pubic toilet. I generally don't like taking a shit in ANY strangers home. The few times I've had to use the toilet, I've never had this kind of reaction.

She's that upset, she can give me my money back and I'll leave.

Serious question. If I suddenly feel the urge for a number 2. Do I just cancel the booking and say sorry, nature calls. If you don't offer showers I'll have to reschedule? 

[isaac_gauss]

No need to cancel. I'd delay, try to inform the SP that I'll be late (keeping the reason to myself) and go use a public toilet. My punts are 1 hour minimum. I'd hope for the whole hour of course, but since this could disrupt her schedule though my fault, I'll accept, say, a 10 minute shorter booking at the same agreed price.

I assume a shower option as a basic incall requirement.

[PapaSmurf]

No need to cancel. I'd delay, try to inform the SP that I'll be late (keeping the reason to myself) and go use a public toilet. My punts are 1 hour minimum. I'd hope for the whole hour of course, but since this could disrupt her schedule though my fault, I'll accept, say, a 10 minute shorter booking at the same agreed price.

I assume a shower option as a basic incall requirement.

Interesting strategy sacrificing your time as compensation. I guess she can't really argue with that.

Not always an option if you're in remote location though.

I guess I'm a bit naive because WG's accept money for jizz on the face, CIM, watersports and sometimes even scat. So a freshly wiped ass didn't seem that big a deal to me lol. 

[isaac_gauss]

Another strategy I've tried is... just hold it in. Not recommended

Scat is quite a specialised service, I thought. I make a sharp distinction between shit and jizz. Shit is pure waste, but the natural function of jizz is to be delivered from one body to another

[PapaSmurf]

Another strategy I've tried is... just hold it in. Not recommended

Scat is quite a specialised service, I thought. I make a sharp distinction between shit and jizz. Shit is pure waste, but the natural function of jizz is to be delivered from one body to another

TBH mate, I really don't care. You don't make me wait 30 minutes then take the moral high ground. If I got to go, I've got to go.

If that's a deal breaker, then give me my money back, and I'll walk, no probs.

[Global_Punter]

Interesting strategy sacrificing your time as compensation. I guess she can't really argue with that.

Not always an option if you're in remote location though.

I guess I'm a bit naive because WG's accept money for jizz on the face, CIM, watersports and sometimes even scat. So a freshly wiped ass didn't seem that big a deal to me lol. 

Watersports, CIM etc are all specialist services that get agreed in advance & not all SP's offer them!

The fact that some SP's offer watersports & other specialist services doesn't mean you shouldn't shower after a number two - recently I booked a Thai lady that offered rimming and she complained that some punters don't clean up properly, but ask for rimming etc stating she gets clients that request for rimming but when she positions herself to perform the act - there's doo doo on their A hole & her finger. I personally don't think it's fair on the SP or the next punter that will book her after yourself.

We all should practice good etiquettes both SP's & Punter's.

[PapaSmurf]

Watersports, CIM etc are all specialist services that get agreed in advance & not all SP's offer them!

The fact that some SP's offer watersports & other specialist services doesn't mean you shouldn't shower after a number two - recently I booked a Thai lady that offered rimming and she complained that some punters don't clean up properly, but ask for rimming etc stating she gets clients that request for rimming but when she positions herself to perform the act - there's doo doo on their A hole & her finger. I personally don't think it's fair on the SP or the next punter that will book her after yourself.

We all should practice good etiquettes both SP's & Punter's.

I didn't refuse a shower. I wasn't offered a shower. I answered the call of nature. It was an in the moment thing.
If that is a deal breaker for WG fine. I'll take my money and walk.

But please can we stop this narrative, that PapaSmurf just loves to shit on punts and refuse's to clean himself.   

It was literally the first and last time I've taken a dump on a punt. And I'm going to keep stressing it was her bad time management that led to the timing of me needing to do a number 2.

Edit: And I wasn't getting rimmed or doing any booty play. That not me thing at all lol 

[drillaaaa]

Yeah if I was her i'd be grossed out too lool

If you didn't shower even if you wiped properly just the thought of it.. Lucky she even gave you a BJ tbh lol

On my list anyway, shes fire and my type

[PapaSmurf]

Yeah if I was her i'd be grossed out too lool

If you didn't shower even if you wiped properly just the thought of it.. Lucky she even gave you a BJ tbh lol

On my list anyway, shes fire and my type

No problem. She can offer me a shower or give me my money back and I'll bounce.

If a shower isn't offered, I generally don't ask as some WG fold the shower time into the session time.

For what it's worth, she generally has decent reviews, so go for it.

[drillaaaa]

No problem. She can offer me a shower or give me my money back and I'll bounce.

If a shower isn't offered, I generally don't ask as some WG fold the shower time into the session time.

For what it's worth, she generally has decent reviews, so go for it.

Oh there wasnt a shower on offer.. yeah that's key man

[PapaSmurf]

Two wrongs don’t make a right and you also had the option to not wait for her.

Easy for you to say when you haven't traveled half way across London and burned through petrol money. Despite hating tardiness, I try and give leeway to late starts.

But sure go ahead, blame me for WG's unprofessionalism.   
 

It’s also a bit of a worry that, had she let you in on time, you’d have needed a shit 20-30 minutes into a 30 minute punt. What were you going to do, cum and run to the toilet for a dump before leaving?

You said you time your bowel movements, well that doesn’t look like good timing to me.

I’d be fucking furious if I was her, doesn’t matter if I’d made you wait or not.

I'd like to think that in the midst of an emergency, and after I've just dropped a minimum of £100, I'd be allowed to use the toilet before I LEAVE. What do you expect me to do? Crap on her sheets or run out and crap myself?

I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is.

And I'm not going to let this one go, the timing of my bowel movement is a DIRECT result of her making me me wait 30 minutes, so she loses all moral and professional high ground imo. 

[PapaSmurf]

I frequent FKK and girls will insist you shower after using the toilet even if it's a number 1 - refusal can lead to her terminating the booking.

In addition personally I will not continue the session if an SP did a number two without showering! what if she / yourself put her a finger up each others ass or something ? doo-doo everywhere

It's just one of those punting etiquettes me thinks.

No shower offered AT ALL. I think she was just trying rush me in and out as quickly as possible for her next client. 

None of what you said applies in my case.

Weirdly enough I had to do a number 1 with one of my regulars. I asked if she wanted me to shower, but she said not to worry as know's my hygiene is good, and we just got started.

Hence why I find all the assumptions hilarious, knowing how big I am on cleanliness. But whatever.  

[Global_Punter]

No shower offered AT ALL. I think she was just trying rush me in and out as quickly as possible for her next client. 

None of what you said applies in my case.

Weirdly enough I had to do a number 1 with one of my regulars. I asked if she wanted me to shower, but she said not to worry as know's my hygiene is good, and we just got started.

Hence why I find all the assumptions hilarious, knowing how big I am on cleanliness. But whatever.  

The FKK scenario doesn't have to apply to yourself, but what we've tried unfailingly to get you to accept is that there's certain etiquettes that have to be adhered without even the SP telling you ie most folks wouldn't do a number 2 at an SP's place and secondly I'm pretty sure there was a shower in the facility even if it wasn't offered you could have asked for it - if you wanted to use all of your allocated 30 mins then you could have had a quick shower, also don't forget I've booked this SP a couple of times and each time I've always had a shower and never was I cheated on time either!

In all its just advise freely given, its up-to you to take it and use it going forward.

[PapaSmurf]

The FKK scenario doesn't have to apply to yourself, but what we've tried unfailingly to get you to accept is that there's certain etiquettes that have to be adhered without even the SP telling you ie most folks wouldn't do a number 2 at an SP's place and secondly I'm pretty sure there was a shower in the facility even if it wasn't offered you could have asked for it - if you wanted to use all of your allocated 30 mins then you could have had a quick shower, also don't forget I've booked this SP a couple of times and each time I've always had a shower and never was I cheated on time either!

In all its just advise freely given, its up-to you to take it and use it going forward.

No arguments here. I just don't appreciate some of the insinuations made on my character. Nor do I like that all the etiquette burden is being put on me.

*The number 2 was unavoidable. I made that clear. It was not a planned decision to "crap were I punt".

*Showers are 100% for the SP's benefit not mine. I'll happily take one if offered, but if she doesn't offer, then it's not on me.

Not more I care to add. Appreciate civil the discussion though.   

[Straightsix]

You should have paid extra for rimming then let if go once you felt her tongue in your ass.
                 🚹👅🏋‍♂️😫🥔
The review would of been fabulous.

[chodu1]

And I'm not going to let this one go,

- When you have to go you have to go...right?

[Malvolio]

This thread just keeps on giving...

[Global_Punter]

This thread just keeps on giving...

  fun stuff!

[Arcy]

Does Claudyaaa kiss at all? I'm planning on visiting this week!