Can’t get hard with Escorts 😩

[Essex8731]

Hope this is ok to ask this question..

I’ve seen about 10 different escorts and 5 massage parlours and I can’t seem to get hard. When I do it’s only just about hard enough to have sex.

I don’t have this problem with my wife or when I masturbate at home. Is it the guilt? Am I just nervous?

I have been thinking about taking something to get me hard. But the problem is I can’t swallow tablets. Is there a liquid Viagra I could get?

Any recommendations I would gladly appreciate.

[jamiekinkxxx]

Hope this is ok to ask this question..

I’ve seen about 10 different escorts and 5 massage parlours and I can’t seem to get hard. When I do it’s only just about hard enough to have sex.

I don’t have this problem with my wife or when I masturbate at home. Is it the guilt? Am I just nervous?

I have been thinking about taking something to get me hard. But the problem is I can’t swallow tablets. Is there a liquid Viagra I could get?

Any recommendations I would gladly appreciate.

I would 100% say it is related to this (and/or anxiety) of being with an escort if you do not have it normally.

As for your request re alternatives to tablet for of erectile medicine I cannot help you I am afraid. Whether they would work anyhow even if you can I am not sure as if you are anxious it may not be able to overcome that as you still need to be aroused and as this is all triggered by the brain I am not sure they would work, but hey I am not a professional so not a clue 

[Lonestaruk]

Search for "kamagra oral jelly". Mostly available in the usual places

[Essex8731]

I would 100% say it is related to this (and/or anxiety) of being with an escort if you do not have it normally.

As for your request re alternatives to tablet for of erectile medicine I cannot help you I am afraid. Whether they would work anyhow even if you can I am not sure as if you are anxious it may not be able to overcome that as you still need to be aroused and as this is all triggered by the brain I am not sure they would work, but hey I am not a professional so not a clue 

Yes I think you’re right it’s anxiety related.

[Essex8731]

Search for "kamagra oral jelly". Mostly available in the usual places

Thanks. I will have a look.

[Razor Boy]

You can crush any tablet to powder and digest it that way ?

[Essex8731]

You can crush any tablet to powder and digest it that way ?

I did try that once but didn’t work. I think it may be more of an anxiety thing. So not sure a tablet would work. But I’d give anything ago.

[GoodLookinGuy]

If you can get hard with your wife or when you masturbate the problem is psychological, probably anxiety or guilt related so not sure viagra or similar will make too much difference. Maybe some sort of therapy ?

[Razor Boy]

I did try that once but didn’t work. I think it may be more of an anxiety thing. So not sure a tablet would work. But I’d give anything ago.

Have you tried a cock ring and viagra mate...might help?

[Essex8731]

If you can get hard with your wife or when you masturbate the problem is psychological, probably anxiety or guilt related so not sure viagra or similar will make too much difference. Maybe some sort of therapy ?

Yeah I think you are right.

[anyfucker]

If you can get hard with your wife or when you masturbate the problem is psychological, probably anxiety or guilt related so not sure viagra or similar will make too much difference. Maybe some sort of therapy ?

"I’ve seen about 10 different escorts and 5 massage parlours "  maybe a few visits to the same escort would reduce the anxiety?

[jseop109]

Perhaps be quite upfront with the WG in advance, so she knows the situation? If you find someone sympathetic, she may be able to get you to relax and feel less anxious, rather than you going in feeling you have to "perform".

I had a similar anxiety problem myself many years ago, but with a "civvie". She reassured me that whether or not she might finally dump me, it would not be for that reason!

[speedygonzal]

it can be related to the ladies that you are visiting. Maybe you have bad luck. Honestly sometimes I need a strong mind set to get hard with some escorts that are really unfriendly and distant

[jesse4585]

Testosterone generally has an anti anxiety effect.  One thing you can try to boost your testosterone shortly before a punt , is to do a bout of short but fairly strenuous exercise about 2 hours before a punt.  Wont work for everyone, but does help for some.

I was half of a mind not to post this as you're saying you have ok sex with your wife- but the advise might help someone else who has the common ED problem with WGs.

[Essex8731]

Perhaps be quite upfront with the WG in advance, so she knows the situation? If you find someone sympathetic, she may be able to get you to relax and feel less anxious, rather than you going in feeling you have to "perform".

I had a similar anxiety problem myself many years ago, but with a "civvie". She reassured me that whether or not she might finally dump me, it would not be for that reason!

Yeah that’s a great shout. I think I will do that.

[signy]

Perhaps be quite upfront with the WG in advance, so she knows the situation? If you find someone sympathetic, she may be able to get you to relax and feel less anxious, rather than you going in feeling you have to "perform".

This is a good advice. Be honest with the escort, and agree on activities that do not require you to get hard. Could be massage, roleplay, femdom (oral on her, rimming, etc.), sharing a bath, lots of kissing, tie & tease; whatever works for you so that you have a good time without the pressure. You might find that things just happen naturally.

[Stevelondon]

Take it as a sign from the punting hod that this game is not for you.
Believe me in a few years (if you would have didn’t as much as a lot of us on here) you will thank me for this advise. 😂

[mh]

I’ve seen about 10 different escorts and 5 massage parlours and I can’t seem to get hard. When I do it’s only just about hard enough to have sex.

I don’t have this problem with my wife or when I masturbate at home. Is it the guilt? Am I just nervous?

This is going to save you an awful lot of money...

Seriously, though, in my early days of punting I was a hard as iron for the punts. Every experience was new and exciting, even the first time when I had no clue what I was doing the first girl I saw said she assumed I'd been doing it for years because I was so confident. That wasn't flattery, it was a matter of fact response when she asked how many others I'd seen and I said none.

But over time my hardons at punts could wane, with no problem at home, as I was still eager for adventures but clearly the mental stimulation wasn't always there. So I dabbled with Viagra and similar, it works and means no wasted funds. But if you have never managed to get hard for an escort or massage when it is a new experience, why bother? It may not be in your psyche to do it. Maybe now I've done what I needed to do my depravity has been sated. Who am I kidding?

[FiveKnuckles]

I don’t have this problem with my wife or when I masturbate at home.

Take the wifey with you?    Joking! 

You can chew the blue tab but it's bitter. A few guys mentioned chewing the tab hits the bloodstream quicker but that's not scientifically proven 

[newhere456]

If it's any consolation, I used to be exactly the same.  Actually the first time with anyone new is a bit on the soft side,  but I found familarity has a positive effect.  Perhaps if you stick to one WG that you like, you may find that the experience improves.

I found Viagra to be very effective in overcoming this so it is probably worth a try if able.

[advent2016]

Hope this is ok to ask this question..

I’ve seen about 10 different escorts and 5 massage parlours and I can’t seem to get hard. When I do it’s only just about hard enough to have sex.

I don’t have this problem with my wife or when I masturbate at home. Is it the guilt? Am I just nervous?

I have been thinking about taking something to get me hard. But the problem is I can’t swallow tablets. Is there a liquid Viagra I could get?

Any recommendations I would gladly appreciate.

Consider having a few massages with just HE, some really good edging.
I find sometimes I try and imagine the SP is a girl I really like who is known to me
Maybe watch some porn of the things you want to try with a SP.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Sugeest you try an older more expenced English lady who might make you feel better about what your doing...

Bet some of the lady SP's who post here would know what to do;)...

[Stevelondon]

Take it as a sign from the punting hod that this game is not for you.
Believe me in a few years (if you would have didn’t as much as a lot of us on here) you will thank me for this advise. 😂

I just re-read my post. My god I’ve got to start checking my spelling before I press send.

hod should be god.

“If you would have didn’t ……. Should be “if you would have spent”

I blame it on old age.    Either that or the lack of drink

[martin1964]

If it's any consolation, I used to be exactly the same.  Actually the first time with anyone new is a bit on the soft side,  but I found familarity has a positive effect.  Perhaps if you stick to one WG that you like, you may find that the experience improves.

I found Viagra to be very effective in overcoming this so it is probably worth a try if able.

I echo this and found the same, 15 years into this I still get nerves when I visit a SP for the first time, you never quite know how it's going to turn out, will you get on, will it be a waste of time and cash etc? Lots of things going through your head. The adrenaline I find takes me out of the "mood".

Second and subsequent visits you don't have these worries and I've found that things improve with SPs the more you see them.

I take the blue pill and find it does help massively, where as without it I might only be hard for a few minutes with the pill I can keep it up for 20-30 minutes or as long as required. It takes a lot of the stress and worry out of a booking.

As others have commented, if you're worrying about whether you can perform, chances are you won't...

[Dark Vader]

Take the wifey with you?    Joking! 

You can chew the blue tab but it's bitter. A few guys mentioned chewing the tab hits the bloodstream quicker but that's not scientifically proven

Or maybe have an Sp role-play his wife    Why not just keep fucking your wife? Meaning despite the guilt and multiple attempts with Sps you still seem to be seeking something you can't get from your wife. What is that something?

[JontyR]

the problem is I can’t swallow tablets.

Any recommendations I would gladly appreciate.

Have you thought about boofing?

And you can then post about it on this thread...

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=359416

[SonofAJohn]

OP, time to stop having sex with your wife, start random arguments with her, drink shilajit in the morning, go to the gym and a cold shower before an appointment. You are just psychologically used to the routine built up from marriage. You need some external factors to make visiting an SP worthwhile then you will get hard.

[KatieEdinburgh]

OP, time to stop having sex with your wife, start random arguments with her,

  great advice

[DouglasReynholm]

Take it as a sign from the punting hod that this game is not for you.
Believe me in a few years (if you would have didn’t as much as a lot of us on here) you will thank me for this advise. 😂

Exactly: if punting is like carrying a metal box full of bricks it's not for you. If you feel guilty maybe there's a good reason for that. If you have a wife who'll shag you that puts you in a better place than a lot of the blokes on here. I'll bet she charges you less.

[Chazz]

I'll bet she charges you less.

That depends on how much she charges you, Douglas! 

[Spacecowb0y]

Had the same issue with punting different girls. Nowadays i stick with a regular for a couple of months and that familiarity keeps me hard

[Jonestown]

Don't know how often the OP punts, but how about putting a bit of space into the proceedings, give up punting for lent, starting Ash Wednesday and start again slowly after Easter, it might add a bit of eagerness.

[rockharders]

I admit I get this problem from time to time because chemistry (usually with a new WG I'm trying out) doesn't click, or for whatever negative reason during the punt its hard to keep it up.

WGs also tell me its not unusual and more often than not, clients just cant get hard.

Viagra only works if you can get aroused in the first place.

Best plan is find a good reliable set of regulars you know you can get on with, then explore from there.

[jrcvdoc]

I can have the same problem, especially with a new girl. I am seeing an SP quite regularly now and the I was much better after the first three visits.

[JustaPunter]

Hope this is ok to ask this question..

I’ve seen about 10 different escorts and 5 massage parlours and I can’t seem to get hard. When I do it’s only just about hard enough to have sex.

I don’t have this problem with my wife or when I masturbate at home. Is it the guilt? Am I just nervous?

I have been thinking about taking something to get me hard. But the problem is I can’t swallow tablets. Is there a liquid Viagra I could get?

Any recommendations I would gladly appreciate.

Sorry, don’t believe for one second you can’t swallow tablets

[sirloverman]

Hope this is ok to ask this question..

I’ve seen about 10 different escorts and 5 massage parlours and I can’t seem to get hard. When I do it’s only just about hard enough to have sex.

I don’t have this problem with my wife or when I masturbate at home. Is it the guilt? Am I just nervous?

I have been thinking about taking something to get me hard. But the problem is I can’t swallow tablets. Is there a liquid Viagra I could get?

Any recommendations I would gladly appreciate.

It could be because of time constraints which could prevent you from relaxing.
I would book longer sessions and not orgasm a few days before punting.
Natural ways to boost sex drive is always best in my experience.

[Ivor Hunch]

So, assuming you actually want to carry on with this monkey business....

If you are not getting an erection in the first place, viagra or equivalent won't help.  They help strengthen/ maintain an erection.  That is not your issue, which much be psychological.

I would strongly recommend finding a SP you can discuss the problem with in advance.   I'd suggest booking an hour, with the clear intention that you will NOT be having penetrative sex.  Probably not even oral on you-  just a sensual experience with nothing more than hand-relief, if you get hard.

But do not go into it with any expectations of an orgasm.  Just view is as a sensual tactice experience. Enjoy that experience.  If you DO get to orgasm, then it is a pure bonus.

It is trite, but true, that it is really about expectation management.

[BoobyNewbie]

You might want to take a look at demisexuality. It’s when you don’t experience sexual attraction for someone until there’s an emotional connection.

It would make sense why you don’t experience it with your wife.

[gurds]

fore good erections would recommend lifting weights, tribulus, ashwagandha, zinc and magnesium, could try tadalafil daily if you are able.

If you are older and testosterone gone lower you could try TRT to boost testosterone levels higher.

Also regularly training the penis most days with sex toy sessions can help to boost erections and blood flow a lot as well as improving stamina.

Would recommend sex toys even if you have a wife.

[Hornydevil666]

Maybe you will relax more if you find a regular who you are comfortable with seeing you naked, you seeing her naked etc.
Going about from one strange SP to another will not help your situation, then you can just take it from there.

[Hungarian Lover]

If you still have sex with your wife why do you want punt, think yourself lucky. I starting punting due to not having sex for years with my wife. When you see an escort it's a bit like being a porn star where each time you see a girl you have to perform, not always possible for many reasons. I always had that problem to start with even taking a blue pill. The only way I can guarantee a hard on each time is with a cock ring and the blue pill, it used to work every time. Mind my problem could be down to old age, not bothered lately due to my regular having returned home.

[Thephoenix]

If you still have sex with your wife why do you want punt,

Probably many reasons.

[SonofAJohn]

Probably many reasons.

OP has regular sex with his wife and still feels he is missing out by not sleeping with escorts.
Another great advertisement for the institution of marriage.

[DouglasReynholm]

You might want to take a look at demisexuality. It’s when you don’t experience sexual attraction for someone until there’s an emotional connection.

That's Demisexuality? I'd say that's being a woman. & I've nothing against them BTW.

[Urban_G]

I haven't read many of the replies to OP's question, sorry if this has been said already.

Have you also tried going for a punt with less pressure to perform, perhaps a relaxing full body massage followed by oral / sex?

Also, I would still take some form of tablet if you can, while it may not have worked before it may in a different situation.

[Munter84]

As somebody who has had psychosexual issues themself, I think OP's issues are 100% psychological, especially if he reports no problems with the missus or cracking one out to porn.

May advice would be to go very, very easy on yourself; treat visits to prostitutes as reconnaissance missions rather than decisive battles to be won; and seriously consider some counselling if your hang-ups (we all have them) are getting in the way.

[magnetico]

Take some taladafil, 10g, which you can chew.

Avoid sidenafil/viagra as it will flush your face etc.

Then pick a regular girl and go for slow foreplay like a shared bath.

This will reduce the anxiety.

[tigerbiker]

I have had the same issue. I have punted for years and back in the day, I'd have a hard on as I approached the door of the venue but not now.

Things that have helped me are:

1. Don't over anticipate - book same day
2. Abstain for at least 5 days before
3. Use a regular - for me it is much worse on a new venture
4. Ask the SP for help and don't be affraid to stimulate yourself to get hard (wank and watch her wank) - tell the SP you need time. Don't accept the speed merchants that put the rubber on after 60 seconds
5. Use the power of sex aroma - nothing gets me erect better than the smell of pussy - fingering, cunilingus or damp knicker sniffing
6. Don't let her use lube - I like a tight feeling and it boosts my hardness once I gain entry to her cunt
7. Use a tightish condom

[scutty brown]

One thing to remember: performance anxiety is a stress in itself. If you worry about your performance, your performance WILL drop and fail. It's a classic negative feedback loop.
Stress creates stress, worry creates more worry. Self imposed performance targets always result in disappointment.
Go to a punt or massage with the mindset that you're only going for the shits and giggles, to have fun. Don't plan or anticipate anything else. Relax and see what happens, if anything does regard it as a bonus.
And one final important point - whatever you do DON'T fall into the trap of trying to impress the girl with your performance. She's not interested - all she wants from you is your money. She doesn't care how many times you can bring her to orgasm. Or not.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

One thing to remember: performance anxiety is a stress in itself. If you worry about your performance, your performance WILL drop and fail. It's a classic negative feedback loop.
Stress creates stress, worry creates more worry. Self imposed performance targets always result in disappointment.
Go to a punt or massage with the mindset that you're only going for the shits and giggles, to have fun. Don't plan or anticipate anything else. Relax and see what happens, if anything does regard it as a bonus.
And one final important point - whatever you do DON'T fall into the trap of trying to impress the girl with your performance. She's not interested - all she wants from you is your money. She doesn't care how many times you can bring her to orgasm. Or not.

Hard work being a bloke, hin't it Boi!....