Worst thing that has ever happened to you whilst punting?

[simping]

I'll start.

I've lost my car keys

Whilst getting dressed the girl brought in the next punter in

Was sent to a hotel, girl gave me her 'room' number and because there was no check in I nonchalantly passed reception and made my way to the room only to discover it belong to someone else. Got a text couple mins after asking for deposit

[Cheltclient]

I'll start.

I've lost my car keys

Whilst getting dressed the girl brought in the next punter in

Was sent to a hotel, girl gave me her 'room' number and because there was no check in I nonchalantly passed reception and made my way to the room only to discover it belong to someone else. Got a text couple mins after asking for deposit

I’ve probably a few. One springs to mind. Gave a girl a good licking out. Few fingers but certainly spread her pussy and got my tongue deep inside her.  Get ready for sex and then she points out she’s coming to the end of her period, just in case I see some blood on the condom. I thought ‘what about my feckin tongue?’ I hadn’t tasted anything untoward but my god that was an erection killer.

[Cheltclient]

Oh and another one. Back when my kids were younger and I was on my second marriage. Booked a girl, had fun, quite a horny milf. Had a rare trip to pick up my kids from school, and she’s there - one of the mums in the playground. Made eye contact. Very awkward. I was married at the time and she was stood there with her husband. (Only time I booked someone whilst in a relationship)

I recall crapping myself for a few days and realising, she’s a hooker, don’t anyone else knows that and she’s not likely to go all chatty

[YoungPunter]

When I started:

• I fell victim for the fake profile/deposit scam and made a payment of £40 as deposit, drove 6 miles, when I was at the address, paid another £40 towards full payment only to realize I got conned and I was at some random address
• Came across an utter skank, review here: https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=296034.0
• Walked into switch and bait Rom profiles and got yelled abuse at while walking away
• Was not able to get a hard-on from the nervousness and or extremely hot rooms but, paid in full
• Had a punt with a SP and next day, came across her with her BF while shopping in Sainsbury's
• Done the deed with an escort and getting dressed, her boyfriend is in the next door watching telly

[simping]

Oh and another one. Back when my kids were younger and I was on my second marriage. Booked a girl, had fun, quite a horny milf. Had a rare trip to pick up my kids from school, and she’s there - one of the mums in the playground. Made eye contact. Very awkward. I was married at the time and she was stood there with her husband. (Only time I booked someone whilst in a relationship)

I recall crapping myself for a few days and realising, she’s a hooker, don’t anyone else knows that and she’s not likely to go all chatty

Honestly one of my worst fears is running into a sp in the streets, I'm fucking awkward as it is so I don't know how I'd react in that situation. But good on you mate

[Cheltclient]

Honestly one of my worst fears is running into a sp in the streets, I'm fucking awkward as it is so I don't know how I'd react in that situation. But good on you mate

Back then, yeah it wasn’t great and it did play on my mind. But for a long time I’ve had a rule that I won’t punt when I’m in a relationship
(Which I’ve not been for a fair old while). So these days, if I happened to bump into a girl I’ve booked I’m not that fussed. They’re an escort, I’m a punter, not like either of us should be awkward.

The school one was bad tho. After a while mind, if I did see her, kinda turned me on. In a strange way

[chimping]

When I went to the wrong hotel(right chain wrong hotel) in Bristol and was knocking on the door I could hear the tv, tried calling no answer, tried knocking again then hotel staff asked me what I was doing.

[Cheltclient]

When I went to the wrong hotel(right chain wrong hotel) in Bristol and was knocking on the door I could hear the tv, tried calling no answer, tried knocking again then hotel staff asked me what I was doing.

I am not a fan of hotel visits. Well, I say that, there’s something quite alluring about walking down a hallway full of doors and knowing that, one knock later, you will be fucking some hotty behind one of them. But it seems every time I visit one the cleaners will be cleaning or loitering really close to the room I’m heading to. It must be clear what I’m up to!!!

I always think it must be obvious an hour later when I leave, with my hair (whats left of it) looking a little messier

[tigerbiker]

I had an OK punt and as usual kept my socks on
After a decent fuck I got off the bed and stood up to start cleaning up - when I felt a cold wet feeling under my right foot

I lifted my foot to see what the offending cold wetness was coming from. - horror of horror, a spunk filled condom that was not mine

I had a spunky sock from a previous punter - what a dirty house she was keeping!

For some reason, I kept my socks on and rushed home. Hot shower and shoes and socks went in the bin

I never went back. Every time my shoes leak in wet weather I get a flash-back to that horror moment 

[Cheltclient]

I had an OK punt and as usual kept my socks on
After a decent fuck I got off the bed and stood up to start cleaning up - when I felt a cold wet feeling under my right foot

I lifted my foot to see what the offending cold wetness was coming from. - horror of horror, a spunk filled condom that was not mine

I had a spunky sock from a previous punter - what a dirty house she was keeping!

For some reason, I kept my socks on and rushed home. Hot shower and shoes and socks went in the bin

I never went back. Every time my shoes leak in wet weather I get a flash-back to that horror moment 

Fucking grim!

[PunterSthompson]

I arranged a meet a few years back (pre my UKP days).
Awful. She had amazing coms, really flirty and fun. But when I arrived she was cold and distant. Acting like she pretty much hated me 
The punt didn't go to plan and she refused to shag me juts gave some very reluctant oral.
I refused to pay the whole amount as I didn't get the full service. We argued for sometime. I gave her £20 under the agreed fee. She told me if I didnt pay the £20 I would regret it...
I laughed and got up to leave. She shouted out a MIIIIIIIKKKKKE and this short muscular fucker (I could
Imagine him Having some nunchucks and no friends) rushed out of a nowhere and set his dog on me, which latched on to an arse cheek. Only calling it off when I paid up the extra £20.
She was right, I did regret not giving it to her earlier.
I could feel blood running down my leg as I made my sorry way home. I left with more holes in my bum than I needed.

[threechilliman]

I had an OK punt and as usual kept my socks on
After a decent fuck I got off the bed and stood up to start cleaning up - when I felt a cold wet feeling under my right foot

I lifted my foot to see what the offending cold wetness was coming from. - horror of horror, a spunk filled condom that was not mine

I had a spunky sock from a previous punter - what a dirty house she was keeping!

For some reason, I kept my socks on and rushed home. Hot shower and shoes and socks went in the bin

I never went back. Every time my shoes leak in wet weather I get a flash-back to that horror moment 

Fuck me, I nearly sicked my tea up after reading that

[Cheltclient]

I arranged a meet a few years back (pre my UKP days).
Awful. She had amazing coms, really flirty and fun. But when I arrived she was cold and distant. Acting like she pretty much hated me 
The punt didn't go to plan and she refused to shag me juts gave some very reluctant oral.
I refused to pay the whole amount as I didn't get the full service. We argued for sometime. I gave her £20 under the agreed fee. She told me if I didnt pay the £20 I would regret it...
I laughed and got up to leave. She shouted out a MIIIIIIIKKKKKE and this short muscular fucker (I could
Imagine him Having some nunchucks and no friends) rushed out of a nowhere and set his dog on me, which latched on to an arse cheek. Only calling it off when I paid up the extra £20.
She was right, I did regret not giving it to her earlier.
I could feel blood running down my leg as I made my sorry way home. I left with more holes in my bum than I needed.

Bloody hell: I did chuckle at that, as it’s extreme. But that’s awful.

I did walk once with a Rom and as I was leaving she was calling someone with a photo of some skinhead - like the kind of chap Jason Bourne would beat up in a cold Bucharest alleyway. I got away but had a dicey walk back to the car as was expecting to get jumped.

[torbayfecker]

Pocket dialled the wife and she didn't answer, left her a 4 minute voicemail from about 30 seconds before knocking on the door. She rang me and I picked up, asked if I meant to ring her, I said no.

She can't have listened to the message. When I got home I dialled her VM and deleted it.

Punting phone would have solved it as personal phone would have been left in the car 

[RedditchJay]

Fucking this young lady and the condom split, neither of us knew as i just though she was getting as wet as me... i came inside and then pulled out, we were both kinda in shock but knew nothing we could do {she was new to the game}, we actually talked about it and kept in touch for a few weeks as she had to get a morning after pill.

I actually saw her a year later in Coventry while shopping and she only worked for a few months and it wasnt for her

[whaleears]

I once phoned a parlour to see who was working & the police picked up. Shit. My. Pants.

[Rimmington]

Saw a girl of AW years ago up in the North East.  She was a bit rough, but friendly and game.

She's giving me oral, and after a while it started to really hurt.  I stopped her and when she took my cock out of her mouth there was blood on it, and I could see a small cut.

She said sorry, I've got a broken tooth.  Then licked the blood off my shaft and went back to noshing......

[vsgp3]

Doing a car meet in a pretty empty car park behind some shops, just getting into things only to notice there was an old fella looking through the window, watching us whilst eating what looked liked a bag of chips. Totally killed my hard on, I'd be shit at dogging.

[hamchang]

1 - cop raid in the middle of a fuck. Was in a jacuzzi getting blown when they came in
2 - Baby started crying in the middle of a fuck. Hooker opened a closet where the baby was and it stopped. Carried on but felt a little bd.
3 - Lifted escort on her apartment counter and ate her cunt. She reached up grabbing the cupboard above her and it fell down with all the crockery and glasses smashing to the floor. Luckily didn't hit us.

[Cheltclient]

1 - cop raid in the middle of a fuck. Was in a jacuzzi getting blown when they came in
2 - Baby started crying in the middle of a fuck. Hooker opened a closet where the baby was and it stopped. Carried on but felt a little bd.
3 - Lifted escort on her apartment counter and ate her cunt. She reached up grabbing the cupboard above her and it fell down with all the crockery and glasses smashing to the floor. Luckily didn't hit us.

Your second story made me spit out my tea. Unique, hilarious, and depressing. All at the same time.

For some reason it’s got my thinking about The Hangover. ‘His name is Carlos’

[bazingaboy]

(I could
Imagine him Having some nunchucks and no friends) .

possibly the funniest thing I have read on this site

[rudolph hucker]

Being held up at knifepoint in Bristol during the Trade-It good old days.

[torbayfecker]

Couple more....

A condom split whilst doggy styling a girl, I noticed, pulled out and told her. She then blew me and swallowed, which she said she doesn't do so that was a bonus.

Was going for round two with another girl and she was trying to blow me to completion. I noticed blood at the side of my cock, politely pointed it out and she said her lip injections were leaking. I cleaned up and left.

[simping]

Saw a girl of AW years ago up in the North East.  She was a bit rough, but friendly and game.

She's giving me oral, and after a while it started to really hurt.  I stopped her and when she took my cock out of her mouth there was blood on it, and I could see a small cut.

She said sorry, I've got a broken tooth.  Then licked the blood off my shaft and went back to noshing......

Hope she used the money from that punt to fix her tooth

[CubanPete]

Recently had an escort tell me to "give her my n****r dick" which was a turn off to say the least

[arnemgreeves]

I was with some escort and she lost a dildo up my bum. i spent literally about an hour trying to get it out and she didn't do much, apart from get some heavy pliers. Yeah, that's nimble enough to cause enough no harm to my rectum and colon....
she didn't even call a taxi for me to take to the A&E. luckily I got it out, but then she caused an action and didn't give a shit. and I was a regular but apparently she got tired of me. whatever, there are plenty of other people to visit now.

[pbrown355]

1. Condom split-sure we've all been there
2. Also phoned parlour and police answered. Police lady had sense of humour and suggested I didn't visit. I took her advice.
3. Police raid while in a private house. Spent a long time in the bathroom waiting whilst scared shitless.

[Griffin75]

Not whilst punting - but was phoned by the police in relation to a very serious crime involving a working girl.
They had got my phone number via my credit card which had been used to pay for credits on AW. (AW i guess have to pass this info on if forced to by local authorities).
They were very professional but of course i was bricking it. I was praying i would not be required in court in any way (which i wasn't).

[lillythesavage]

I arranged a meet a few years back (pre my UKP days).
Awful. She had amazing coms, really flirty and fun. But when I arrived she was cold and distant. Acting like she pretty much hated me 
The punt didn't go to plan and she refused to shag me juts gave some very reluctant oral.
I refused to pay the whole amount as I didn't get the full service. We argued for sometime. I gave her £20 under the agreed fee. She told me if I didnt pay the £20 I would regret it...
I laughed and got up to leave. She shouted out a MIIIIIIIKKKKKE and this short muscular fucker (I could
Imagine him Having some nunchucks and no friends) rushed out of a nowhere and set his dog on me, which latched on to an arse cheek. Only calling it off when I paid up the extra £20.
She was right, I did regret not giving it to her earlier.
I could feel blood running down my leg as I made my sorry way home. I left with more holes in my bum than I needed.

Sorry mate, I cannot stop laughing, nothing can match that surely.

[lillythesavage]

Not as funny as some others but weird all the same, seeing a black girl regular, call and she is at a different location nearer, get there, knock, go in, 3 or 4 kids running riot and an older white women trying to round them up, she says this is my mum, never looked mixed to me, I am thinking run, kids were in the only bedroom, pulls me in the bathroom and off she goes down on me, What is a man supposed to do lol.

Done the deed walked out, said goodbye to Mum, and never called that number again.

[3Chabuddygee]

Recently had an escort tell me to "give her my n****r dick" which was a turn off to say the least

That would of made me want to smash the life out of her, or face fuck her out of existence.

I had a Hungarian tell me she hated black guys, I said “but I’m black” she said “you not black, baby” When I nutted in her mouth, she said your cum taste horrible, I just cracked up.

But I can see how you would of lost your wood.

[HappyHarryIV]

A number of years ago I was at a Red Light District in Germany and used the services of a lady on the third floor. When I got back outside I heard my name being shouted and then "you left your glasses behind".  There were quite a few other people around, and although I didn't know any of them it was still a little embarrassing, this was early in punting journey so don't think that I would really give a damn now if that happened.

[Bikerman]

While i was in army in germany i was eating a 20 something pussy on a picnic table at night...then all these lights came on...WTF i was in a garden and fox set security lights off.... i loomed overvto see family in house eating supper and my date said.....its om thats my family... so for a laugb we waved....yes i was pissed

[bob1]

Many decades ago i was intimate with a young lady in the red light district in Ostend Belgium, after we had finished i picked my clothes off the floor only to find them covered in dog shit from her dog, how i didn’t smell it i don’t know. I had to walk to a local shop and buy a new t-shirt and a pair of shorts, not happy.

Having to take all the kids toys out of the bath before i can wash my bits..

I fucked a girl in the arse following her instruction of "pound my fucking arse as hard as you can" as i pulled out she farted then shit the bed, passion killer.

Came in the mouth of an Oriental girl, she runs off screaming to the bathroom where i hear her throwing up down the toilet.

Went down on a girl and whilst laying on my front her dog jumped on the bed and started sniffing my arse, not nice.

I met a lady in recent times, we fucked in my car, i opened the door to get out after id finished, she closed the door and i realised the car had locked its self, i'm standing on a very quiet road, where a car pulls up behind us a short distance away, i'm with no top on and she's stood there with only a pair of knickers and a t-shirt on. I run to a field nearby and grab a brick and put in a side window, now the alarm is going off and i'm rummaging through our abandoned clothes looking for my keys, auto lock function has now been disabled. 

[Gameboy121]

Was getting a covered blowjob from a Chinese working girl in Hounslow. Thought it wd be ok to face fuck her without asking, so I pulled her head towards me, pushing my dick further in. Result? Not deep throat ecstacy. Nope, she vomited all over my pubes and balls. Oddly we both thought it was hysterical. We cleaned ourselves up  and she and I completed the work. What a trooper.

[Tdydl]

Going down some steps to a basement flat, slipped and damaged my knee to the extent I couldn't even stand up.
Ambulance called and carted me off to hospital. It took a bit of creative story telling to the family to explain what had happened.

[Gaffer58]

Got a couple , first is a bit funny second is a bit disgusting .

I had a punt at a parlour in Manchester , ok punt , I have a thing for well done tattoos on a good looking women , and I certainly got that.
A few months later out dogging , watching a couple in a car , I though hello them tats look familiar , get down and dirty with the couple .
I start chatting after , I suffer with foot in mouth disease at the best of times and out it pops “ don’t I know you from that Parlour in Manchester “ whoops matey boy the husband was clueless . Needles to say I made myself scarce as the fireworks where going off .

The second was years ago in Germany , had a punt in Hanover , in one of the clubs . Very adventurous young lady , I was about 5 stone lighter and a tad fitter so we basically had a wrestling match to see what positions we could get into .
Eventually we ended up in the good old 69 , I’m going at it heavens hard , then I glance up and there it is a lovely cluster of dangly hemorrhoids. 

[Briddy]

Pocket dialled the wife and she didn't answer, left her a 4 minute voicemail from about 30 seconds before knocking on the door. She rang me and I picked up, asked if I meant to ring her, I said no.

She can't have listened to the message. When I got home I dialled her VM and deleted it.

Punting phone would have solved it as personal phone would have been left in the car 

that's got to be my worst fear, I always get the anxiety it's going to ring and miraculously answer itself and the other half can here everything. Usually take my phone out of my pocket and leave it on my clothes

[Supersix4]

Possibly the worse experience was after a rather ordinary BJ from a young (early 20s) asian SP, she starts crying and asks that i tell the maid that i'd had a good time and not to complain about her service. Felt really bad after that.

[twotight]

when I was in Prague last year I had booked to go to a brothel that was on the outskirts of the town ,I looked up the price of a taxi on  Google maps and it wasn't to much but with been a tourist and all I didn't realize the difference in price to local taxis 
by the time I got there abut 10-15 min. I dint have enough money left for the WG'S ,after explaining to them what had happened and asking for directions to a cash machine  I set off on a tour of a part of the city that looks like it hasn't been renovated since the cold war
PS at least the punt was good when I got back and I returned a few time to try some of the other WG

[SamOmar]

when I was in Prague last year I had booked to go to a brothel that was on the outskirts of the town ,I looked up the price of a taxi on  Google maps and it wasn't to much but with been a tourist and all I didn't realize the difference in price to local taxis 
by the time I got there abut 10-15 min. I dint have enough money left for the WG'S ,after explaining to them what had happened and asking for directions to a cash machine  I set off on a tour of a part of the city that looks like it hasn't been renovated since the cold war
PS at least the punt was good when I got back and I returned a few time to try some of the other WG

Always use uber where possible in touristy places. Prague taxi drivers are known for having rigged meters or will quote you 10x the regular fare

[Jonesmick85]

A few years ago I was booked to see this lass near Blackpool. It was gonna be amazing , super fired up for it


About 1/2 an hour before I was due to meet her my guts exploded!!! Like you wouldn’t believe!!

I drive over, thinking I should cancel but didn’t want to look like a time waster

We got down to it and I just felt like I was gonna have a brown explosion at any second! I think I did actually manage to screw her and come. We went for round 2 but it wasn’t happening, it felt like I was sea sick and any more rocking would cause an eruption! I made my excuses and left early!

Shame as she was a right fit GILF! 😁

[pewpewpew]

I've had a few shit ones.

Turned up to a squat for a punt before. Door had been kicked in and no electricity but I soldiered on anyway.

Had an absolute bitch take a photo of me naked after I wouldn't leave 10 minutes in to the 1 hour session

Couldn't find a house once and gave up after her not answering the phone. Returned to the car to find a group of guys hanging around peering inside the car with hoods up. I just walked off, came back 10 minutes later and all was fine but it did cause me to shit myself a little thinking I'd been set up

First ever punt managed to get myself locked in to a brothel hallway for about 10 minutes.

Also think I fucked a guy by accident. A guy with tits and no dick but a guy all the same

[pewpewpew]

Oops

[Pogogo]

Brussels RLD - see a cute busty Asian girl in the window. This is a group of 3 windows together with a maid. Agreed on 40Euro and hand over the notes, she goes to give to the maid and I get naked and lay on the bed. Door opens...I'm excited she's back but NO!...it's the granny maid. Apparently one of my notes was fake. Bollock naked, with a granny shouting 'no good no good!' at me. She gave me the note back and the Asian girl said I can stay if I have a real one but fuck, was too annoyed so left. Used the note later in a shop, who checked it and said it was real.

Brussels RLD again and went with an African girl in the windows in the back streets. Punt was okay but she was saying 'go slow...don't rush...gentle and slow'...I thought was weird because normally they want you in and out. After about 10 mins her door knocks and she goes to answer. I lay there thinking 'wtf' and I hear her chatting with other women...they had delivered her food. I just lay there for a good few minutes and she comes back in and starts eating and just talking about life in general, as if I'm her pal who came round to her house for a catch up. After a bit of this, I deicide to just leave it. Only 20 euro punt so no big deal and found it odd more than anything.

I would visit Amsterdam a lot and there was a MILF window girl I used to always see when I was there. Now, this was around 8 years ago when I was early 20's and she was definitely in the late 50's, so not one Is want my mates to know I'd been with when your vain at that age. I must had seen her about 7 times before on various trips when I took a trip with my pals. As me and my mates were walking past her usual window I could see her and was going to give her a sneaky wink and wave until she opened the door and screamed my name and had her arms out for a hug. I couldn't tell if any of my group noticed, but made sure we didn't walk back that street. Early the next day, I popped out to 'buy tobacco' just after breakfast and went to her for a quick punt but warned her not to do that again.

[SamOmar]

Once booked a Chinese outcall in 2014 from an ad on Viva Street - I had used them 2 or 3 time already and each time a different slim cute girl. 1 hour outcall@150 so I thought that is good VFM. One turns up and after payment she strips down and I request a BTB massage first. She says "Tips me extra" I said I will tip if your service is good lol, she gets so angry and starts shouting at me so I call the agency to say I don't want her and I will let her keep 50 for time and travel. She throws my 100 on the floor quickly gets changed , starts slapping her heels to disturb the neighbours and slams both my door and the main door as loud as she can only for her to wake up the couple upstairs.

[MysteryManNo.7]

Condom broke whilst I was inside the girl and neither of us noticed until after I'd shot my load and pulled out to find my cock had destroyed the condom 

Didn't see her for a month after as she was going away on a uni trip to the Lake District but thankfully she took the morning after pill and first thing at our next booking she confirmed she had got her period and we were in the clear. Ended up seeing her a bunch more times including for a couple of threeways before she sadly quit the industry.

[rockstar]

One I remember was I saw a new milf lady and wow was she hot ! We got down to it and started a 69 when I felt too relaxed and before I knew it I had bolted less than 5 minutes into an hour booking !

[itk]

Scammed by a South African skank in Ipswich. Got in the room to have two blokes in there demanding I gave the money and left. Had no choice other than to do it.
Also drove nearly 100 miles to Cambridge for a party, only to get there to find the one I really wanted to see left before anything got started and then the wanker who run the party hogged the girls. Still to this day really boils my piss that day.

[Gas74]

Was with a girl who must have had a thing for rescuing animals, 3 legged cats hobbling round the place etc, room smelt like a zoo. Lying there chatting between round 1 and round 2 and a ferret jumped on the bed and bit my finger, she told me it got angry with her having people in the house and often did it, thing almost went out the bloody window.
Turned up at room 305 of Premier Inn then woman was in room 305 of Holiday Inn next door, that was fun.
Had a girl years ago seemed together when I arrived took my money to stash as I was getting undressed, must have taken something in the meantime and was totally off her head when she got back 5 minutes later. Had to walk after a couple of minutes without the cash as couldn't bring myself to do anything, so off her face that it was giving me a creepy feeling of being non consensual (know it wasn't as all agreed up front but she honestly did not have the capabilty to consent)