"Wish I'd known that......."

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

UKP is a fine 'Motley Crew' of punters in our 20's to our 80's and Dolers to Doctors.  There may well be a wealth of 'Hints, Tips and Advice' floating

around that could benefit/influence and live on in the hearts, minds and actions of TNG of punters.     
 

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

My humble offerings:

*  If poss, do a bit of heavy weights training 2 hours before a punt, nothing too hard, creates a surge of Testosterone  and a boner even Superman
    couldn't bent.

*  Should be known by all now but leave all valuables and ID back in the car and park well out of eye shot of the premises, (for many reasons).

*  Can't stress enough, have a cheap burner phone with no links to you whatsoever.

*  If poss, have a tiny bottle/packet of your usual shower gel if showering at her gaff and wet wipes in the car.  Wives/girlfriends are like
    'Columbo' when it comes to shit like that.

*  Ask if her Tits, Clits and other stuff are sensitive/sore before handing over hard-earned so as not to be denied when romping.

*  Don't wear a watch while romping.  Can lead to scratches/cuts hair snagging and a lifetime ban from the girl..

*  Carry condoms to a punt just in case as sometimes the WG's run short before their next supply run.......and you are not tempted..

*  And of course we all know/should know, be on time, be freshly showered, be polite, be a Gent then begone on time or before..

[chatbite]

Maybe I'm too cautious but a tip I'd always give is not to share too much personal info as you never know what can come and bite you on the arse. It's easy to get friendly with a WG and find yourself chatting about your life and giving away too much.

I use a fake name, if it's okay for them it's okay for me. I'm never specific about where I work or what I do. They know I'm married with kids but I won't say anything more than that (I only let on that I'm married because my ring doesn't come off!)

[The0neAnd0nly]

My top tip would be -

Always have a excuse ready in your mind, whether this be visiting a SP at a flat or going to a massage parlour.

If you were unfortunate enough to bump into someone you know a story already in your mind would come off the tongue a lot quicker then trying to scrabble around for an excuse.

- Visiting a SP at a block of flats - "Oh I saw a rowing machine / treadmill on Gumtree so was coming to buy it. It was really badly damaged though so decided not to (if on the way out). What a fucking waste of time!"

- Visiting a massage parlour- "pulled a muscle in my neck/ leg at the gym. Google review said this place did really good massages for sports injuries. So how have you been?"

Also useful just in case your significant other or mutual friend says oh I (or someone) saw you the other day and in a certain location.

Being put on the spot is what will give the game away or raise alarm bells. If you can lie glibly people wont have a reason to question it.

[jimbobted]

*  Can't stress enough, have a cheap burner phone with no links to you whatsoever.

*  If poss, have a tiny bottle/packet of your usual shower gel if showering at her gaff and wet wipes in the car.  Wives/girlfriends are like
    'Columbo' when it comes to shit like that.

This. I still forget sometimes though  . Always makes me laugh when Awank profiles claim they have "a selection of male toiletries". Usually there's bugger all, or some feminine flowery scented crap.
I stopped seeing one girl because her towels were really heavily scented with fabric softener or those granules some people put in the tumble drier of whatever. Made my skin stink of it and knew I'd get busted one day. Shame as she was a decent fuck too but not worth blowing up my life for pussy.

[catweazle]

Research, research and more research .
I am still astonished at UKP members reporting a rubbish time  with an SP, when there's numerous red reviews already on here.

Don't go by AW reviews, trust your virtual mates here.

[Punter S Thompson]

There's so many benefits to not having a burner phone though.

[WelshClipper]

All good above, please add for the drivers among us.

*** Don’t park on the SP’s street. I usually drive past the general location and park a few streets away.

[Dave82]

Great advice fellas. The parking on another street I really need to start doing. I have a habit of parking outside the SP front door accidentally.

[Coriniumstud]

I always check Google Earth to try and find the nearest car park, as I’m more worried at what could happen to my car than myself

[Crockers]

My humble offerings:

*  If poss, do a bit of heavy weights training 2 hours before a punt, nothing too hard, creates a surge of Testosterone  and a boner even Superman
    couldn't bent.

*  Should be known by all now but leave all valuables and ID back in the car and park well out of eye shot of the premises, (for many reasons).

*  Can't stress enough, have a cheap burner phone with no links to you whatsoever.

*  If poss, have a tiny bottle/packet of your usual shower gel if showering at her gaff and wet wipes in the car.  Wives/girlfriends are like
    'Columbo' when it comes to shit like that.

*  Ask if her Tits, Clits and other stuff are sensitive/sore before handing over hard-earned so as not to be denied when romping.

*  Don't wear a watch while romping.  Can lead to scratches/cuts hair snagging and a lifetime ban from the girl..

*  Carry condoms to a punt just in case as sometimes the WG's run short before their next supply run.......and you are not tempted..

*  And of course we all know/should know, be on time, be freshly showered, be polite, be a Gent then begone on time or before..

Exercise, than a couple of beers beforehand. And I always take wine.

[Stevelondon]

I always check Google Earth to try and find the nearest car park, as I’m more worried at what could happen to my car than myself

Ahhhh    A man after my own heart. Since I got rid of the second motor….. gave it away actually.
I’m only using my main drive and it ain’t the sort of car I’m parking outside a grubby block of flats with tossers hanging around in the area.
So if I am driving somewhere to punt. I always have to check with the SP if I don’t know the area.
When I saw Abigail Spencer I asked about parking and she said park next to her car on the drive.
Then proceeded to take up all the drive by parking like a bloody woman 😂

No matter. It’s a nice street.

Bloody hell. I just thought. I’m going to have to get a punting car 😂

[Watfordpunter97]

*  If poss, do a bit of heavy weights training 2 hours before a punt, nothing too hard, creates a surge of Testosterone  and a boner even Superman
    couldn't bent.

Is this a thing?

[lillythesavage]

Research, research and more research .
I am still astonished at UKP members reporting a rubbish time  with an SP, when there's numerous red reviews already on here.

Don't go by AW reviews, trust your virtual mates here.

The research usually kills the mood and bores me, though a quick look for reds should be a minimum.

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

My top tip would be -

Always have a excuse ready in your mind, whether this be visiting a SP at a flat or going to a massage parlour.

If you were unfortunate enough to bump into someone you know a story already in your mind would come off the tongue a lot quicker then trying to scrabble around for an excuse.

That's a good one that I will incorporate straight away, especially when Summer punting and everyone and their dog are out and about..


If punting when partnered up and planning a massage b/t rounds, (go for a quick piss first) check out the shower/towels situation before hand as

it could be an absolute shithole/bio-hazard then you may have to explain baby oil on your clothes,  back and bits when you get home.

[Kieslowski]

Is this a thing?

Seems so: External Link/Members Only

Must say, the best sex I've had in recent months came a few hours after a heavy weights session. I'm going to experiment with this one...

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

Is this a thing?

It certaintly is Mr WP97..

Read somewhere on some Gym/Medical site that I (for the life of me can't find), after-workout a T levels surge peak lasts from 15 mins up to 2 hours.

During which time you as as horny as fuck so best to book an SP quick..

[Tecova]

I try to crack one out on the day or a few hours before I want to punt and reassess if I really want to still punt with whoever I've got my eye on.  It's helped me a few times avoid a bit of a drive and saved money.

[Rogdog101]

Research, research and more research .
I am still astonished at UKP members reporting a rubbish time  with an SP, when there's numerous red reviews already on here.

Don't go by AW reviews, trust your virtual mates here.

I have followed this advice from the get go and have not had a bad punt to date.  Granted I am only an occasional punter and cash is not too much of an issue for me so I have more leeway than most.   I am limited in time terms though and given the sporadic nature of my indulgences so I tend not to take too many risks in terms of service providers - perhaps I play it too safe! I do feel I should TOFTT at some point. 

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

For those of us who enjoy a trip 'downtown' on a punt, we know writing the Alphabet over her clit ensures a  multiple angled attack.

Personally, if with a Rom bird I tend to write.......' c-u-m b-a-b-y- c-u-m'  over and over for a giggle.  worked at least once..

[pbrown355]

Sorry BLC I don't understand what you mean.

[Steely Dan]

Sorry BLC I don't understand what you mean.

He means when you are going to lick pussy / give cunnilingus that to draw out the alphabet on her clit  with your tongue is a way to make it good for her.

It is said this works for two reasons: it slows you down .. you need to keep going all the way to Z.  Also it adds to the teasing / right motion for her.  Drawing an M or an H might feel better than pure licking.

I did this back in the day.  Now I follow the pornstars master class (the one where she wears the white glove).  Gets better results. I confess I do go back to the alphabet at times.

[Steely Dan]

I mean Nina Hartley
External Link/Members Only

[contentguy]

I mean Nina Hartley
External Link/Members Only

She’s amazing, if only!

[Home Alone]

I mean Nina Hartley
External Link/Members Only

If this is a lesson on how to eat pussy, surely there ought to be a practical exam at the end of it?

Bags I Nina Hartley for mine!!

[Mike_61]

*  Don't wear a watch while romping.  Can lead to scratches/cuts hair snagging and a lifetime ban from the girl..

Disagree - always wear a watch and conspicuously look at it when the session starts - no way am I going to rely on their timekeeping to determine the end of the paid for time.

[Festa]

My observations.

Check Google Earth
Ignore AW feedback
No valuables only a wallet with cash and no cards
Park some distance away
Cheap punting phone with top up only
Blue pill 30 minutes beforehand
Do not wank for at least 3 days before meet

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

My observations.

Check Google Earth
Ignore AW feedback
No valuables only a wallet with cash and no cards
Park some distance away
Cheap punting phone with top up only
Blue pill 30 minutes beforehand
Do not wank for at least 3 days before meet

     

Can also add..trust your gut!  If it doesn't feel right, it probably ain't right. 

Male voices in the gaff....The girl taking your cash dressed in outdoor clothes and shoes....Men parked up sat in a car watching you go in?

Better to punt safer tomorrow than today in Sorrow..as they say!

[Punterperson1971]

     

Can also add..trust your gut!  If it doesn't feel right, it probably ain't right. 

Male voices in the gaff....The girl taking your cash dressed in outdoor clothes and shoes....Men parked up sat in a car watching you go in?

Better to punt safer tomorrow than today in Sorrow..as they say!

Agree with that 100% walked when it didn’t feel right

[Kool Keef]

Disagree - always wear a watch and conspicuously look at it when the session starts - no way am I going to rely on their timekeeping to determine the end of the paid for time.

Yup, same.

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

As the season temperature rises, so does our hornyness as punters.   A bit of sweat in a session can be sexy, but a lot is just....eeewww!

as will her sheets..    Before a definite booking, ask the SP if she has a decent AC system, esp for longer booking..

[GreyDave]

  Burner phone and an excuse for being there and reason for phone 

If its a WG Ive not seen before I knock one out 4-5 hrs prior to seeing then I last longer although now I find it a stuggle to cum some times 

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

Don't lend money to WG's against the promise of free 'sessions' at a later date.  These deals always sound like your in for a treat/favour

her good books and all that but the reality is these 'sessions' rarely materialise/lead to misunderstandings  and can leave you a bitter chappy

with a pissed-off regular.  Keep punting clear, no blurred lines..

[Atrueyorkie]

Yup, same.

What kind of watches do you guys wear? I am not taking any chance wearing a valuable item to unknown territory. Surely the punting phone will suffice for time checking. If you want to be picky with the time. Note the time you arrived and then if you’re really picky put a timer/stopwatch on phone

[Atrueyorkie]

Don't lend money to WG's against the promise of free 'sessions' at a later date.  These deals always sound like your in for a treat/favour

her good books and all that but the reality is these 'sessions' rarely materialise/lead to misunderstandings  and can leave you a bitter chappy

with a pissed-off regular.  Keep punting clear, no blurred lines..

“Some” WG are erratic and you there’s a high chance they won’t remember your “deal”. I’ve had discounted price before but that’s because it was a regular but yeah I concur on the other erratic behaviour. A principle across the board, you loan someone money you have to keep in mind you might never get that back. Especially don’t loan to a WG in my opinion, that’s free robbery

[Captainhowdy666]

What kind of watches do you guys wear? I am not taking any chance wearing a valuable item to unknown territory. Surely the punting phone will suffice for time checking. If you want to be picky with the time. Note the time you arrived and then if you’re really picky put a timer/stopwatch on phone

If you don’t want it nicking leave it in the car.
I accidentally left my wedding ring on at the weekend, thankfully the punt was a 10/10 as if you got robbed you need to get To Argos quick sharp and hope for a replacement.

[GreyDave]

   I have a cover story for vists all ways I have a Walter Mitty sort of split persona. I work in property refits an invisible sort of trade and I use the trades within this area to mantain a beliveable but easy to repeat story, Tempory office site covering work in area ect Ive got it of to pat now some regulars have ask me if I could reccomend tradesmen ( Ive felt this is a guies to know more about me FFS Why?)
Burner phone as I said before and the reason for having if found....easy one of lads on site left so am hanging on to it ...this often happenns as we dont allow phones on working sites  thats the reason its a cheap one    And lastly dont mix ED drugs (as I did and scared myself    ) to become Superman just just one to be Iron Man

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

Agreed, truly, one of the best tips.  Always have a plausible reason for being in that area, those Apartments or that Hotel planned and rehearsed.

You can bump into anyone, anywhere at any time and the first question you’re gonna get asked is, “what are you doing here?” 

Can ruin your whole day, week of even life, believe me.  Pre punt check:   Money, cheap blank phone, Spare Condoms and a reason for being there!

[catweazle]

Just like GreyDave,  I have a complete "alter ego" for punting: name, marital history ( including children(none)) work, home location...... used the 'other me' for so long it comes easily  if questioned by an SP.

[Indefatigable]

Great thread. I'm still building myself up to my first full punt having had a few massages. I want a genuine Nuru next but such a gamble with so many advertising but not actually being proper Nuru.

[vman1]

Some travel tips

Check for delays before leaving
Also route planning plus a 2nd route incase of delays, use tools i.e. Google maps, street view, POIs i.e. shops, cafe, toilets, nearest train station, bus stop if using public transport - with the strikes and whatnot.
If visiting SP late, checking last train times as well to avoid being stranded

[guymids-72]

If your punt get cancelled, then do not rush into a plan B,c or d.
Happened to me once and resulted in a negative review

[sim0256]

Guy is
Other side is that I recently couldn't get to see my reg at short notice , went for a pint , logged on to escort site and picked a nearby Asian girl . Quick call , no problem ,come on over , only a few minutes away .

Had a great time with young petite girl I would never have chosen if I spent more time looking .
Just lucky maybe !

[luv2kiss54]

Always try to get to the location well early to case out the situation and ensure your on time for the booking. Nothing worse than rushing getting there all hot and bothered. Girls get very pissed off if your late so hard to come back from such a start. Very rarely drive as dont want my car spotted in an area i have no reason to be in. Also if its a dodgy location and you dont feel comfortable still time to bale out especially if there are unsavoury characters hanging about, just not worth chancing. Also if its too public ie on a busy high street for example where your going to have to wait outside where eyes are watching you this puts me right off although wearing a mask these days can still be useful to hide face so i might still go for it.

[theblade]

All good tips.Mostly common sense.
I always took the exact amount money I never took a wallet.Never parked near her venue. I tried to wear the minimum amount clothes ie no socks, perhaps no underwear, it’s easier after the punt to dress and go. No watch rings neck chain. False name, never tell or give any clue to your home address. As I love shooting over their face them I’d not spunk 2/3 days before.

[signy]

... never tell or give any clue to your home address...

It's worth having a thought out answer to the common question "where do you come from?". Preferably somewhere that you can talk about a bit if necessary: somewhere you visit regularly; where you were a student or had a previous job; where you have been on holiday a lot, etc. Better than dithering about and ending up with an obvious lie. Similar to the cover story about what you do for a living and other typical chitchat questions.

[daviemac]

All good tips.Mostly common sense.
I always took the exact amount money I never took a wallet.Never parked near her venue. I tried to wear the minimum amount clothes ie no socks, perhaps no underwear, it’s easier after the punt to dress and go. No watch rings neck chain. False name, never tell or give any clue to your home address. As I love shooting over their face them I’d not spunk 2/3 days before.

Bloody hell, I agree with being careful but that's bordering on paranoia, you're going to look a bit odd partly dressed and, without any cash or wallet, it would be quite difficult if you travel by public transport. No wonder you don't punt.

Bit hard to get an outcall to your house if you don't tell them where you live.   

[Mr Sinister]

This is something I learned when using the RLD abroad, soon as you step into the window state everything that you want in fine detail, how many positions, type of positions etc and that the wg is ok with it before handing over the cash. Always do this otherwise you will get taken advantage of and have to pay more for "extras". When I first got caught out was pissed, once I learned from a mate how it goes I have no problem walking in and getting what I want.

I started doing it locally as I been caught out halfway through a punt with the wg "no bby, no doggy too big" nonsense.

[lillythesavage]

All good tips.Mostly common sense.
I always took the exact amount money I never took a wallet.Never parked near her venue. I tried to wear the minimum amount clothes ie no socks, perhaps no underwear, it’s easier after the punt to dress and go. No watch rings neck chain. False name, never tell or give any clue to your home address. As I love shooting over their face them I’d not spunk 2/3 days before.

I sometimes wonder if it is the planning and the undercover stories that make a punt for some, a whole new identity and past life 

[Bum Lovin Criminal]

How's this for being a paranoid Punter Guys?   

If seeing a new unreviewed SP, and there are any large eyed Teddy toys or weird ornaments in the SP's room, turn 'em away from facing the bed action

(I drape my boxers over the eyes) when she's out stashing your hard earned.  Nanny cams come in some unique designs nowadays even look like

alarm clocks.  It only takes one scrupless Sergei, short on cash, morals and brain cells to try his luck with you as his test subject.

Plus, if you happened to parked your motor right outside the gaff, (when you know you shouldn't) you could be in for a world of pain and embarrasment.

https://External Link/Members Only

https://External Link/Members Only

Smile, you could be on 'Candid Camera'.



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