So I've got a Vegas story
Unfortunately, it's not a positive experience and I'd be interested to know if any punters on here went through the same thing or anything similar in Vegas or any US cities tbh. Or even know of any guys who have heard about this type of thing occurring at all. In hindsight, it was one of the dumbest situations I've ever gotten myself into and even though I was 22 and felt invincible, I was fucking stupid
Apologies in advance for the length of this read and also for not sharing this earlier, as you read on though you can probably understand that I'm still embarrassed to even talk about it.
Anyway, let me paint the picture. It's 2013, 8 of us heading to Sin City for a mate's stag do and one night mid-way through the trip I ventured out late late and solo while all my friends were back sleeping in the hotel. Dumb of me I know. I go to the Paris hotel (we were there the night before and there were loads of girls around) and I'm trying to pick up some stray civvies as the club closes. No luck, so I go to the casino and I'm on the slots and a guy hears my accent as I'm trying to chat up this bird and starts talking to me about UK and how much he loves it etc. Then he starts going on about girls, asking me why I don't have a girl on my arm and that he knows the best place in town for a rub and tug. I stupidly take up my new best mate's invitation to join him as he says he's going there soon. We go to his car and make our way, he was a small guy so I'm thinking I could definitely take him in a fight, if it came to that but he seems alright, he didn't seem that much older than me. At this point, I'm still very much drunk and I had the horn
We drive about 10mins away from the strip and the place looked like a dentist or some type of clinic - inside it was dimly lit like the real lights were off and it was kinda neony. So I'm in there, my new mate intros me to a hot Asian/American lady who tells me it's $100 for a half hour massage, asks me if I need an ATM and points at it in the corner. I go over draw out my $100 and hand it over to her and she then takes me to a room. My new best mate says he's going into another room for a massage with another hottie and he'll meet me out here after so he can drive me back. So I follow the lady into a room, sign some dodgy waiver thing (I scribbled Michael Jackson or something) and then I get told to take everything off but my boxers and lay face down on the table. She goes away and comes back a few mins later and she starts to give me a massage. I don't really remember how it was now but she seemed friendly enough, not that flirty but not disinterested.
Bear in mind I'd only ever had 2/3 punts (1 was a massage with HE) before this in my entire life, so I'm laying there thinking to myself when do I take off my boxers
So about 30mins goes by and she stops and says "ok that's the massage, do you want to go to the next stage?" and I'm there obviously so confused like why haven't you asked me to flip over and tossed me off yet love. She's like "that'll be another $100 for another 30mins, do you want to go ahead? You can use the ATM outside you used earlier." I ask her what that is and she tells me that's the bit I've been waiting for and winks at me
As I'm thinking with my other head now, I'm like fuck it what's another $100, I'm here now let me get my HE. I should've confirmed exactly what it was, I didn't stupidly but I was going with the flow you know. She gives me a robe, I pop it on grab my wallet and back down the hallway to the ATM to get another $100 out (plus the fucking $5 machine charge - again) and back into the room, hand it over. She goes out to stash the cash and now I take it as my cue to lose the boxers thinking it's going to happen now, doing so and hopping onto the table again, this time on my back. She comes back in and is surprised to see me butt naked, she asks why I took them off and I think I laughed and said so you can reach all of me
She asks me to sign another waiver thing, which I quickly squiggle again and starts to massage my front for a bit and the little fella awakens fully now and she laughs and then gently places a towel over him. She keeps massaging away, we're still making small talk and then it definitely wasn't 30mins but she stops and says "ok time's up, how was that? do you want to go to the next stage?" At this point, numbnuts here finally twigs what's going on and I sober up immediately - I'm not getting a rub and tug, she's playing me
Realising I'm in some place where none of my mates know where I am, brought here by a random guy I don't know, in a city and country I don't live in or know anything about, I have a 5 sec internal panic and luckily decide to be civil and polite, instead of getting angry or annoyed. I decline the next stage and say it's ok I need to go now. She tries to upsell a bit more, a few more winks and gestures as I'm getting my clothes on. I'm thinking some heavy is going to walk in any sec and make me drain my bank account or worse rough me up a bit. We leave the room and I'm thinking do I even bother asking where my new mate is but before I can she says "oh your friend left, do you need a taxi?" Yes thanks love
So I say a nice goodbye through gritted teeth and get into a taxi (checking it's an actual Las Vegas taxi before I do). Thank fuck it was.
So I'm in the taxi and the driver looks up at me in his rear view mirror and goes "do you want to go to the real venue and fuck a pro now or...?" I'm there quietly fuming inside and a bit scared, I said no thank you, take me to my hotel please. He looks me up and down and I was not in the mood to chat but he's got other plans. "Are you British?" "Why are you here?" bla bla bla for 5mins straight. After a bit he realises I'm just a lost young English kid and I can tell he feels bad for me, so he starts giving me the lowdown on it all....so where he picked me up is an Italian mob joint (the Russian mob also have these kinda places dotted around Vegas too apparently) and basically they sucker in guys to get legit massages, see how much they can get out of them with this 'stage approach' and signing waivers then put them in taxis to the real brothels. He goes to me..."have you seen Rush Hour 2 where they go to a massage parlour and Chris Tucker is choosing who he wants? It's like that, you go in and pick a girl you want and pay for them by the hour, usually 10 or so girls to choose from." So I'm there sitting in that taxi thinking fuck me I'm an idiot, like wtf that's a mob establishment and thinking to myself I may be down $200 but at least I'm on my way back to the hotel where I'll be safe. Then I realise I don't have any money to pay the driver so I get him to stop at a gas station. I run in, get $50 out thinking that should cover it, grab a bottle of water and some shitty chocolate bar because I'm fucking starving. Back in the taxi, he gets me there and he's like that'll be $48 and something. I literally had $48 after my water and chocolate purchase and I give it him. He turns and looks at me dead in the face and goes "what, no tip?" I was like sorry mate, that's all I have. Also you basically just told me that you drive taxis and do runs for Mob brothels so I get that you might need work but kindly go fuck yourself and your tip
As I said, I don't know if this still happens there but takeaways:
1. Don't trust the random dudes in hotels or the strip who say they can hook you up with girls/massages. Stick to Seeking Arrangements or that Eros website above that guys on here can confirm are alright. My best mate was no doubt on some commission to get guys there.
2. Don't trust any taxi drivers who say they can hook you up too. If they are like the guy I had, they could be doing the runs for these places and so could take you there.
3. If you've got the horn and are feeling like you might do something stupid, immediately go to your hotel and bash one out instead
As I said this was not a positive experience and they got me hook, line and sinker. However there were positives for me that trip (aside from me not getting killed in a mob brothel). Well a couple actually, this is how much of a lucky twat I was then. On our penultimate day there, another taxi driver accidentally gave me $80 change when I gave him $30 for a $20 journey. He saw me with a $100 dollar bill in my wallet and assumed I'd given it to him. I didn't realise what had happened until about 5mins after. So using that extra dolla, I played a bit of roulette and won around $1,000 hitting a few numbers, not only covering my $200 massage fiasco but making me up for the trip
I spunked most of it on booze for the lads on our last night there but still left up which was great. And most importantly I also managed to bag a petite blonde Canadian civvie on one of our last nights when our stag do combined with a hen do
smashing the little minx to pieces all over my hotel room and in the shower. Got my happy ending in the end
