Worst Escort Profile Words Challenge

[Horizontal pleasures]

I am sure that you all know the wonderful thread, the Worst Escort Picture Challenge. https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=10615.6225

So here is a new one. The Worst Escort Profile Words Challenge. They may be pretentious or irrelevant like the one below with which I start the thread. They may be silly, funny, vulgar, stupid and a whole lot more. Put the actual words in red - or maybe in bold - I suggest - for ease of seeing them.

I’m dedicated to perfecting my appearance down to the smallest detail, from gym training to designer fashion to pedicures.

Well, it may not be the worst but what pretentious and irrelevant rubbish?
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I am sure that you will find worse stuff than this.

[puntingpumping1920]

"Degree educated"
 
"High Class" 
 
"Posh" 
 

[Don Quixote]

I am so over the whole fucking donkeys thing.

[Horizontal pleasures]

"Degree educated"
 
"High Class" 
 
"Posh"

thanks PP, I am hoping for specific unique quotes from linked profiles?

[myothernameis]

100% Scottish just turned 22

She hasn't age one we bit, still 22 year old, and that was around 2 years ago

[Horizontal pleasures]

100% Scottish just turned 22

She hasn't age one we bit, still 22 year old, and that was around 2 years ago

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[nigel4498]

I am so over the whole fucking donkeys thing.

Cervantes on his galley sets the sword back in the sheath
( Don Juan of Austria rides homeward with a wreath.)
And he sees across a weary land a straggling road in Spain,
Up which a lean and foolish knight forever rides in vain,
And he smiles, but not Sultans smile, and settles back the blade....

[hw189]

Here's one example:

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When does a 23 year old, who claims to be "ready to be plucked" class herself as a milf? I've seen many other profiles like this where SP's in a similar age group claim to be milfs, how so? I would have thought anyone over 35 / 40 would be milf category.

SP could be lying about her age of course, maybe she is really 33.

[5th Musketeer]

Here's one example:

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When does a 23 year old, who claims to be "ready to be plucked" class herself as a milf? I've seen many other profiles like this where SP's in a similar age group claim to be milfs, how so? I would have thought anyone over 35 / 40 would be milf category.

SP could be lying about her age of course, maybe she is really 33.

Interesting that she only started her profile yesterday, saying she's in "Wandsworth Clapham Battersea Brixton Earlsfield" but is currently accessing from The Netherlands.

[Analist]

I found this one amusing-
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If your fed up of booking foreign stunners, only to find they are older, dull and lifeless..MY PHOTOS ARE NEW ! EVEN BETTER IM SOOOO MUCH BETTER IN THE FLESH, I'm TOLD I'm 50 TIMES BETTER LOOKING IN REAL LIFE, and a better playmate than they ever Imagined

DONT WORRY, I'm here for you, to remind you how great seeing a girl can be I ADORE SEX IN EVERY WAY! SO LET ME ADORE YOU.....I'm everything you want and more IV BEEN TOLD IM STUNNING! MUCH BETTER THAN MY PHOTOS! SO COME AND SEE FOR YOURSELF ..... VERY CUTE AND SEXY! FUN LOVING AND UP FOR IT.
FULL THROTTLE FUN IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT BOYS
JUst a quick note after this weeks playtime, I have had to turn down soooo many bookings because I'm busy when u call, please please please try to call or mail in advance to avoid disappointment. It's so worth it.

LOOK NO FURTHER, IM British and as classy as it gets, yummy, english at its best, withe tightest little pussy! EVERY guy I see comes back, cause I'm better than you can imagine. Stunning body, Stunning looks, better looking than photos, and horny as hell

I fucked her years ago when she was doing parties in London. She looks like she's aged and put on weight, doubt she's even as attractive in real life as the touched up photos, let alone 50x better. Anyone seen her recently?

[mrsheepish]

Just viewed a profile earlier

you want to be your fantesy

I saw that and instantly thought Romanian and sure enough yep

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[raylondoner]

Agreed but, to put this into perspective, some of the wording on UKP posts is “piss pour two”! 

[signy]

Amazingly, I thought about starting a similar thread yesterday when I saw the following and cracked up.

"15 mint...£50 very quickly Sex and OWO with condor and go"

In the "offer at rates" Tab, but the whole profile is a morass of strange mixed up sentences.

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She is Brazilian, so is it her own condor brought from home? Does she have an import icence for it? How much does the condor charge? How do you do OWO with a condor; I wouldn't fancy going near the beak.

If she means condom, how do you do OWO with a condom? What are you supposed to do with it? All very confusing.

[pewpewpew]

I'm a motherfucking courtesan

[Dopedj]

" High Class escort" 

[cunningman]

I saw that and instantly thought Romanian and sure enough yep

I for one am never going to take the piss out of a foreigner for poor English.
Your Romanian, Polish, Brazilian - its how good?  Mine's rubbish!
I steer clear of British girls who spell like that though.  Call me a snob.

[raylondoner]

I for one am never going to take the piss out of a foreigner for poor English.
Your Romanian, Polish, Brazilian - its how good?  Mine's rubbish!
I steer clear of British girls who spell like that though.  Call me a snob.

Snob, not, I agree!