Blokes Who Like A Finger up the Arse

[Teessider]

Some years ago at London parties I used to go to some of the girls offered Prostate massage to the guys, which were often accepted.

Middle finger condomed up, bit of lube, slide in and give the old prostate a bit of a tickle.

One such expert at administering the dirty deed was porn starlet Jewels Chelsea, star of 'Anal Finishing School 2'.

I recall a conversation with her along the lines:


Jewels: Do you want me to stick my finger up your arse?

Teessider: No thank you.

Jewels: Why not?

Teessider: Because it smells of shit.

Jewels (recoiling in horror): Oh, Alright then.

*******************************************


A couple of questions to the learned panel, if I may:

1. Is it only my arse that smells of shit?

2. For those blokes who like a finger up the arse, would the logical progression be to get a tranny to give you a good fudge packing up the jacksie? 

[Poopster]

1)  No, but wash before.

2)  No. The same question could be applied to having a wank.  It's a man touching your cock, so why not get another man to do it for you?  It's because you aren't gay.

[Kingy28]

As soon as I read the title, I thought of Jewels without even needing to ready your post

[65percent]

Jewels: Do you want me to stick my finger up your arse?

Teessider: No thank you.

Jewels: Why not?

Teessider: Because it smells of shit.

Jewels (recoiling in horror): Oh, Alright then.

That was funny 

[EnglishRebecca121]

loads of men like a finger up the bum , doesnt mean they want a dick up it next

[Hotdogboy88]

For me I started with a finger up the arse with a girl. Was amazing. The. Moved to a small then bigger dildo. Got even better than the finger. Then onto a strap which again got even better. The girl I saw saw suggested trying the real thing to which I laughed and said no way am I getting fucked. By a bloke to which she responded try a shemale then. I replied the same as before. Watch some tranny porn a week or so later and was surprised how turned on I was with these guys who looked like girls with hard cocks. So decided to give it a go. The girl was right the real thing is much better first time I cum hands free after about 20 seconds of being fucked never know an orgasm like it. Nothing comes close.

So In  Short for me it led to being fucked  by a tranny.

[threechilliman]

For me I started with a finger up the arse with a girl. Was amazing. The. Moved to a small then bigger dildo. Got even better than the finger. Then onto a strap which again got even better. The girl I saw saw suggested trying the real thing to which I laughed and said no way am I getting fucked. By a bloke to which she responded try a shemale then. I replied the same as before. Watch some tranny porn a week or so later and was surprised how turned on I was with these guys who looked like girls with hard cocks. So decided to give it a go. The girl was right the real thing is much better first time I cum hands free after about 20 seconds of being fucked never know an orgasm like it. Nothing comes close.

So In  Short for me it led to being fucked  by a tranny.

I'm like you but in reverse. In my younger days I've inserted various things into my arse including a square chair leg. Nowadays I'm not keen on anything being inserted into my arse. I did see a tranny a while back who tried to fuck me up the arse but alas her cock was just too much for my arsehole.

[Moby Dick]

1) do you not clean your teeth as well?
2) only had the finger and if done right it gives a very powerful cum (all over her face), but if done wrong can go floppy. Might try a strap on, wouldn't rule out a pretty TS but as a threesome.

[londonpunter1]

Had a GF who always used to put a finger in my arse, telling me it would give me a more intense orgasm. It did nothing for me (I hated it) but she continued to do it, wonder why she's an ex 

[James999]

loads of men like a finger up the bum ,

Bet it stops you biting your finger nails 

[CoverMyEyes]

Only time I've had a finger up my arse it was a doctor. I didn't like it much. So never something I've wanted to have happen again!

[threechilliman]

Only time I've had a finger up my arse it was a doctor. I didn't like it much. So never something I've wanted to have happen again!

Yeah My Doc has had his finger up my arse more times than any WG. Good way of trying it for free if you're a bit uncertain

[CoverMyEyes]

Guess I'm one step ahead in that it was a female doctor.

Still not something I want to do again! 

[dobob]

...
I recall a conversation with her along the lines:


Jewels: Do you want me to stick my finger up your arse?

Teessider: No thank you.

Jewels: Why not?

Teessider: Because it smells of shit.

The Teessider was obviously a canny lad: "away lass and clean the last fella's shite off yer finger afore ye stick it up me".

Cheers!

[S.X. MacHine]

Guess I'm one step ahead in that it was a female doctor.

Still not something I want to do again! 

Where your lady doctor went wrong was in not warming you up first with a bit of DFK. I guess you can't expect that on the NHS, but if you had gone private, then maybe....

[Teessider]

Just to clarify: My arsehole smells of sweet muffins - it's just a couple of inches up the colon it stinks of shit. 

Moby - glad to hear that, like Her Majesty the Queen, your shit don't stink. 

[Baldy]

Don’t go round to Neil’s and play with the Lego !

[Teessider]

For me I started with a finger up the arse with a girl. Was amazing. The. Moved to a small then bigger dildo. Got even better than the finger. Then onto a strap which again got even better. The girl I saw saw suggested trying the real thing to which I laughed and said no way am I getting fucked. By a bloke to which she responded try a shemale then. I replied the same as before. Watch some tranny porn a week or so later and was surprised how turned on I was with these guys who looked like girls with hard cocks. So decided to give it a go. The girl was right the real thing is much better first time I cum hands free after about 20 seconds of being fucked never know an orgasm like it. Nothing comes close.

So In  Short for me it led to being fucked  by a tranny.

HotDog - thanks for your honest reply - thought that may be the eventual progression for the more adventurous. 

[Teessider]

I'm like you but in reverse. In my younger days I've inserted various things into my arse including a square chair leg. Nowadays I'm not keen on anything being inserted into my arse. I did see a tranny a while back who tried to fuck me up the arse but alas her cock was just too much for my arsehole.

Nice one TCM - did you ever try a hamster?

I remember reading some years ago 'True Stories' in Private Eye. Two gays in a New York apartment had to call in the Fire Brigade following a session of 'felching' - inserting an animal into your arse.

Hamster called faggot gets stuck, second gay inserts a cardboard tube and strikes a match to look inside for faggot.

Match lights a pocket of gas and blows faggot out the tube and onto the gays mustache and sets it on fire.

Fire Officers called and final comment 'It's faggot I feel sorry for - stuck up the Tradesman's Entrance' 

[nbarnes]

Had a hot bondage-obsessed Dutch WG use a strap on on me in De Wallen.

Had a fucking amazing orgasm.
Generally enjoy strap on action for round 2 when I've booked an hour's punt. Things up the arse are awesome once you get used to them.

Wouldn't do a TS or another dude though - that's one line I won't cross.

[Waterhouse]

Only ever had a finger up my bum by two SPs... the first being Maria from Maria's massage who popped my bumhole cherry - was a completely new thing for me then and felt great.

With another escort we did the same and it was really good also. We did try a prostate massager but couldn't get it in me, my backside was too tight. Also tried a smaller sized one some time later and that was bloody uncomfortable too... even two fingers in me was uncomfortable.  I ended up buying a slimline g-spot vibrator which fitted nicely so we use that on occasion now.  Recently got a remote control slimline bullett vibe which fits nicely but haven't really experimented with that yet. Will look forward to trying it out properly sometime soon.

The idea of trying a strap-on is appealing more to me, but I doubt we'll try it anytime soon for the simple fact that it won't fit up me or will be far to uncomfortable/painful.  Anyway, would not want to make a habit of it as I don't want to be having to wear nappies anytime in the future! 


Also having read the following thread, it does make me wonder whether or not I should be refraining from having anything poked up my backside other than a well lubed covered up gentle finger...

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=237336.0

[winkywanky]

Apparently you can get remote-controlled 'love-eggs'.

Go shopping in Tescos with the egg up your arse, and then try to walk in a straight line down the fresh fruit & veg aisle while an accomplice activates said egg with the remote in their pocket  .

[bhudda]

Apparently you can get remote-controlled 'love-eggs'.

Go shopping in Tescos with the egg up your arse, and then try to walk in a straight line down the fresh fruit & veg aisle while an accomplice activates said egg with the remote in their pocket  .

You should never stick anything up your (or anyone elses) arse that hasnt got at least a bit of string attached so yku can be sure of getting the thing out again. Things can only go so far up a pussy ... up an arse they can go for miles ...

[Waterhouse]

You should never stick anything up your (or anyone elses) arse that hasnt got at least a bit of string attached so yku can be sure of getting the thing out again. Things can only go so far up a pussy ... up an arse they can go for miles ...

100% agree on this.  The new bullet I got has a decent plastic cable fitted to it so I tied a 2" metal cockring to it in order to stop it travelling too deep and getting stuck where the sun don't shine.

Have a read of "This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor:" by Adam Kay .... hilarious, tragic, educating and just a brilliant read. One of the chapters tells of all sorts of things he found up folks rear ends and had to remove.

[winkywanky]

Yep, I've got that book! 

[winkywanky]

A mate of mine was at Uni years ago and in the summer hols his mum (a midwife) got him some work as a porter in the hospital where she worked.

He got friendly with a couple of the doctors and they'd tell him some wonderful stories.

One was of a guy who presented to A&E with a whole King Edward potato stuck up his arse. His story was that he was having a dinner party that evening and he was running a bit late. So to save time he decided to peel the spuds while he was having a bath and accidentally sat on one, which miraculously managed to shoot straight up his rectum  .

[Moby Dick]

I have no complaints.
In fact, rimming is something I get offered a lot so it must also tasted good.
Would you object also to having a pretty lasses face planted tongue deep up your asshole whilst another lass is sucking your cock?

Who's working today?

Just to clarify: My arsehole smells of sweet muffins - it's just a couple of inches up the colon it stinks of shit. 

Moby - glad to hear that, like Her Majesty the Queen, your shit don't stink. 

[Waterhouse]

A mate of mine was at Uni years ago and in the summer hols his mum (a midwife) got him some work as a porter in the hospital where she worked.

He got friendly with a couple of the doctors and they'd tell him some wonderful stories.

One was of a guy who presented to A&E with a whole King Edward potato stuck up his arse. His story was that he was having a dinner party that evening and he was running a bit late. So to save time he decided to peel the spuds while he was having a bath and accidentally sat on one, which miraculously managed to shoot straight up his rectum  .

Brilliant.   

But this is just so typical of the BS excuses doctors and nurses hear on an all to frequent basis.  I think one from the book was a guy with a TV remote stuck up his bum, said he was naked and sat on it by accident as it was between the cushions on the sofa; however when it was removed the TV remote itself was covered with a condom.

[Waterhouse]

I have no complaints.
In fact, rimming is something I get offered a lot so it must also tasted good.
Would you object also to having a pretty lasses face planted tongue deep up your asshole whilst another lass is sucking your cock?

Who's working today?

Only ever experienced rimming once and by a lovely lady who does not list or offer it.  It was my birthday, so perhaps it was her birthday treat to me?  Either way I really enjoyed it.

[winkywanky]

Brilliant.   

But this is just so typical of the BS excuses doctors and nurses hear on an all to frequent basis.  I think one from the book was a guy with a TV remote stuck up his bum, said he was naked and sat on it by accident as it was between the cushions on the sofa; however when it was removed the TV remote itself was covered with a condom.

I know what people mean when they say there's a load of shit on the telly  .

[GreyDave]

A mate of mine was at Uni years ago and in the summer hols his mum (a midwife) got him some work as a porter in the hospital where she worked.

He got friendly with a couple of the doctors and they'd tell him some wonderful stories.

One was of a guy who presented to A&E with a whole King Edward potato stuck up his arse. His story was that he was having a dinner party that evening and he was running a bit late. So to save time he decided to peel the spuds while he was having a bath and accidentally sat on one, which miraculously managed to shoot straight up his rectum  .

Thats why I Now use SMASH Mate  No fear of any more Aliein probes for me

[winkywanky]

To be fair, sticking mashed potato up your arse might not have the desired pleasurable effect.

Although you could probably make rather a nice job of Duchess Potatoes when going for a shit afterwards 

Hidden Image/Members Only

[rubric]

I have no complaints.
In fact, rimming is something I get offered a lot so it must also tasted good.
Would you object also to having a pretty lasses face planted tongue deep up your asshole whilst another lass is sucking your cock?

Yeah quite so - have had some really intense orgasms when being blown by a girl who was also giving me a prostate massage.  Doesn't mean I want a dick up my arse also doesn't mean I'm going to criticise those who do.

Honestly, I don't see the point on trying to create a 'hierarchy of perversions', each to his own, ad astra, think some people have a really strange attitude to pleasure.

[BernardBlack]

Brilliant.   

But this is just so typical of the BS excuses doctors and nurses hear on an all to frequent basis.  I think one from the book was a guy with a TV remote stuck up his bum, said he was naked and sat on it by accident as it was between the cushions on the sofa; however when it was removed the TV remote itself was covered with a condom.

Dr Phil Hammond has some great comedy on the same topic, I seem to recall one story about a bloke who came into A&E with a ketchup bottle stuck up himself and he claimed he was locked out of his flat, had to climb - naked - through a window in the kitchen and then fell on it.....  unfortunately for him, when they removed it, it had a condom on it...

[Teessider]

Boy in bath:  Dad, dad - the soaps gone up my arse.

Dad: Well, that's Life Buoy.


I'll get me coat. 

[Waterhouse]

Boy in bath:  Dad, dad - the soaps gone up my arse.

Dad: Well, that's Life Buoy.


I'll get me coat. 

Hidden Image/Members Only

 

[Fanfanuk]

If done properly it's very enjoyable has nothing to do with sexuality at all. It's about pleasure and can be very healthy
In the old days the Dr would do it if you had a need for it.   
One thing can be confusing about thougths is some men who are raped will ejaculati from the forced penatration. Leading to confusion in there minds.
Just be a adult have a wash and give it a try.  And tip the girl  you won't suddenly be gay.

[Waterhouse]

If done properly it's very enjoyable has nothing to do with sexuality at all. It's about pleasure and can be very healthy
In the old days the Dr would do it if you had a need for it.   
One thing can be confusing about thougths is some men who are raped will ejaculati from the forced penatration. Leading to confusion in there minds.
Just be a adult have a wash and give it a try.  And tip the girl  you won't suddenly be gay.

What do you mean 'tip the girl'?  Either it's included, extra, or not available. Tippings got Bugger* all to do with it.

(*Pun intended)

[Strokemeplease]

loads of men like a finger up the bum , doesnt mean they want a dick up it next

Yes, and I'm one of them. I always ask for it when I go for a Thai or Chinese massage, it makes the orgasm more intense.

[Baxter63]

I'm surprised that anyone pays extra - I was always telling them to keep their fingers out.

It used to be a given, that the foreign girls understood or were told, that all Englishmen love things up their arses, so just went for it, with the finger. Even today, many other countries have their beliefs, of latent/hidden homosexuality in all Englishmen.

[Fanfanuk]

What do you mean 'tip the girl'?  Either it's included, extra, or not available. Tippings got Bugger* all to do with it.

(*Pun intended)

Lol you got me then.. 

[winkywanky]

It used to be a given, that the foreign girls understood or were told, that all Englishmen love things up their arses, so just went for it, with the finger. Even today, many other countries have their beliefs, of latent/hidden homosexuality in all Englishmen.

Probably propogated by the French to make up for all their frustration over various lost wars.

[mrfishyfoo]

I have no complaints.
In fact, rimming is something I get offered a lot so it must also tasted good.
Would you object also to having a pretty lasses face planted tongue deep up your asshole whilst another lass is sucking your cock?

Who's working today?

That brings back happy memories. 

Next !!! 

As for OP's question....nowt better than being fucked up the arse by a FAF blonde domme with an 8" strap-on.

[Moby Dick]

If another lass is sucking my cock then I will give it a go (one day)

That brings back happy memories. 

Next !!! 

As for OP's question....nowt better than being fucked up the arse by a FAF blonde domme with an 8" strap-on.

[mrfishyfoo]

If another lass is sucking my cock then I will give it a go (one day)

Yeah I've had that as well. 

Fucking outstanding MFF with 2 FAF filthy blondes. One on top in 69 while the other fucked my arse.

Proper bucket list moment from my youth.

[poundstock]

My rectum is a one way street. There ain’t nothing going up it.

[pingug]

why do only gay men have prostates? it feels the same for every guy gay or straight, with that logic if you like tits does that mean if a tranny gets a boob job you want to feel her tits

[GreyDave]

That brings back happy memories. 

Next !!! 

As for OP's question....nowt better than being fucked up the arse by a FAF blonde domme with an 8" strap-on.

Have to say a TS with a well lubed 7 incher and an amazing pair of tits was maybe the provider of the most powerfull ( prostate ) or any other orgasam I`ve had I can understand why some guys like it I found the strap on and butt pluggs just a little to hard and cold , they did not reach the spot so to speak the TS did 

[mikexxlong]

why do only gay men have prostates? it feels the same for every guy gay or straight, with that logic if you like tits does that mean if a tranny gets a boob job you want to feel her tits

it comes down to personnel preference not necessarily  a homosexual thing ,
if someone male or female likes having their arse played with even having things inserted be that part of someone's anatomy or inanimate/ animate objects
not everyone does -------reportedly even some card carrying gays don't like up the poop chute 

[Thecunninglinguist]

Probably propogated by the French to make up for all their frustration over various lost wars.

I thought it was the Germans that didn't like it up 'em?