Time to find a plausible excuse!

[nothiingtodeclare]

On my way back from a punt today in a neighboring town when some plonker rear ended my car while I was stationary at the lights! Bumper dented and scratched. The car is owned by the Misses, now to come up with an excuse as to why I was somewhere different to where she thought! 

Maybe a mystery present pick up 

[anonymouse72]

Your local Argos didn't have what you wanted in stock so you had to pick up from another store.

[B4bcock]

Someone recommended a good/new restaurant in the neighbouring town and you were surrepticiously checking it out for a surprise birthday/anniversary treat???    Good luck.

[CoverMyEyes]

Had a bad week at work, didn't want to burden her with it all as it was just normal work shit, so just needed a drive to clear your head.

[Doc Holliday]

You're f**cked 

[lewisjones23]

why the fuck do people have to justify or tell their other half where they are every time they go somewhere?

if i had a mrs and she was like that then she’d swiftly become an ex mrs 

[AnthG]

On my way back from a punt today in a neighboring town when some plonker rear ended my car while I was stationary at the lights! Bumper dented and scratched. The car is owned by the Misses, now to come up with an excuse as to why I was somewhere different to where she thought! 

It would depend on your age and what hobbies you are into. But a good one if it would match is the CEX store in .... had the Blu-Ray/Hard drive/Raspberry Pi/Graphics Card and etc in stock.

The way they work is they have stores all over the country, and usually only one or two stores have the thing you want in stock so you need to do trips all the way there to that one store.

I go all over the place visiting these CEX's when I want something as I do not trust them to post it to me is not free and they almost always send the wrong thing and its a pain to return it.

The CEX website tells you which stores have certain items you want in stock.

[scutty brown]

don't tell her, park the car so she can't see it.
Next time she drives it, "discover" the damage when she gets back

[Herts_Outcaller]

I was meeting a friend for a beer / coffee

[nothiingtodeclare]

You're f**cked 

  haha, I may well be. Currently using the specialist shopping trip excuse.

[Waterhouse]

why the fuck do people have to justify or tell their other half where they are every time they go somewhere?

if i had a mrs and she was like that then she’d swiftly become an ex mrs 

Exactly this.

Thankfully I pretty much go where I want, when I want, and with who I want (friends, colleagues, work mates) - male or female, with no grillings or questions.  My other half is pretty good on that front.

I get that not all spouses are like that though.

[freeze44]

Just come clean...otherwise this will haunt you. If it really is to much to do then say you were looking for a good dogging spot for you and the wife to try and while driving round another dogger shunted you as both were looking for other things than the way home??! 

[B4bcock]

why the fuck do people have to justify or tell their other half where they are every time they go somewhere?

if i had a mrs and she was like that then she’d swiftly become an ex mrs 

Unless you have no OH, family, friends or work colleagues, this is a scenario which could befall any punter.   Being caught out somewhere where you shouldn't be is a constant hazard and, as in this case, usually very difficult to explain.   

[Stiltskin]

why the fuck do people have to justify or tell their other half where they are every time they go somewhere?

if i had a mrs and she was like that then she’d swiftly become an ex mrs 

That's not really the point.

I personally don't have to justify or tell the wife where I go, but if I had a prang in her car I'm pretty sure she'd ask, 'what were you doing in <some other town>?' I could of course say 'none of your business', but that wouldn't go down too well.

[yobbra]

why are you driving to a punt in your wife's car and not your own?   Any reason?  Just additional risk that isn't necessary to take. 

[threechilliman]

don't tell her, park the car so she can't see it.
Next time she drives it, "discover" the damage when she gets back

Good call is that. It'll probably go unnoticed for at least a month.

[Dipper]

Some sound tips here. 

[threechilliman]

why are you driving to a punt in your wife's car and not your own?   Any reason?  Just additional risk that isn't necessary to take.

I very rarely punt in the car I usually drive..... but there are reasons for that.

[Dipper]

Unless you have no OH, family, friends or work colleagues, this is a scenario which could befall any punter.   Being caught out somewhere where you shouldn't be is a constant hazard and, as in this case, usually very difficult to explain.

Excellent point, not necessarily an OH you’d have to give some detail to.

Follow the mantra “always have a reason, however flimsy”  if it’s an out of normal bounds punt.

[Bonker]

Temporary amnesia following whiplash.
Can't remember anything of the 2 hours before the crash.

[yobbra]

I very rarely punt in the car I usually drive..... but there are reasons for that.

Why would you rather punt in your wife's car rather than your own?   Even as a company car that must be easier to explain than to your wife?

[Bonker]

why the fuck do people have to justify or tell their other half where they are every time they go somewhere?

if i had a mrs and she was like that then she’d swiftly become an ex mrs 

Such a loving nature and yet you're single. Very mysterious 

[LLPunting]

It would depend on your age and what hobbies you are into. But a good one if it would match is the CEX store in .... had the Blu-Ray/Hard drive/Raspberry Pi/Graphics Card and etc in stock.

The way they work is they have stores all over the country, and usually only one or two stores have the thing you want in stock so you need to do trips all the way there to that one store.

I go all over the place visiting these CEX's when I want something as I do not trust them to post it to me is not free and they almost always send the wrong thing and its a pain to return it.

The CEX website tells you which stores have certain items you want in stock.

This explains so much about you...

[LLPunting]

That's not really the point.

I personally don't have to justify or tell the wife where I go, but if I had a prang in her car I'm pretty sure she'd ask, 'what were you doing in <some other town>?' I could of course say 'none of your business', but that wouldn't go down too well.

Much like she hasn't in years.

[LLPunting]

haha, I may well be. Currently using the specialist shopping trip excuse.

Shame, should've gone with the "having doubts about work, feeling like you're not appreciated, maybe jack it in..."   With any luck she'd see the golden goose about to turn leaden and do you a charity fuck to encourage you to keep working.  Getting that dusty pussy working again you might be able to push for a face-full of depraved indulgence to help you forget your worries.

[mr.bluesky]

Just tell her it happened in the town/city you live in. Only the insurance company need know the true location surely 

[threechilliman]

Why would you rather punt in your wife's car rather than your own?   Even as a company car that must be easier to explain than to your wife?

I didn't say anything about my wife's car.....

[AnthG]

This explains so much about you...

That I am a computer geek.....And you've just figured this out now after 10 years of me posting on the forums.

That explains so much about you too then

(sorry, I am not sure what could be the issue, CEX sell computer parts cheap, but they always sell the wrong parts as these idiots do not know the difference from a SATA based drive to a MSATA based drive - literaly too, I had this with them).

[Bogof60]

I didn't say anything about my wife's car.....

It's OK Mr Chilli
Some of us understand.
 

[mr.bluesky]

It's OK Mr Chilli
Some of us understand.
 

I don't. It sounds all Greek to me  ( or should that be all geek to me ?)

[Hobbit]

Tell her that you went to buy her a present hence why you were in a different location.

[_Bender_]

why are you driving to a punt in your wife's car and not your own?   Any reason?  Just additional risk that isn't necessary to take.

I did once many years ago, my wife’s car is more superior than mine, it was fucking ace, but I was destined for trouble.

It was a “Ferris Buller’s day off” type day my wife was away on a conference, I bunked the day off work and took her car to a punt in Birmingham but I got caught speeding.

To avoid entering a punter protection program I had to intercept all the correspondence, mention I was driving the vehicle, return and pay the fine and take 3 points! .. phew .. lesson learned!

[_Bender_]

why the fuck do people have to justify or tell their other half where they are every time they go somewhere?

if i had a mrs and she was like that then she’d swiftly become an ex mrs 

Unfortunately of 20 odd years of routine I have to explain myself for hours that are not accountable for, if I’m missing for a few hours I have too explain.

Unless you have no OH, family, friends or work colleagues, this is a scenario which could befall any punter.   Being caught out somewhere where you shouldn't be is a constant hazard and, as in this case, usually very difficult to explain.

Yep, first world problems!

[hunkybc]

You could just say someone drove into and then drove off without stopping.

Or you were parked up in a car park and returned to this. No CCTV so it can't be tracked...

[Cupid Stuntz]

don't tell her, park the car so she can't see it.
Next time she drives it, "discover" the damage when she gets back

Excellent idea  . I'll remember this for possible future use, thanks.

[Bonker]

Tell her you did it to ward off one of her headaches.

[tynetunnel]

On my way back from a punt today in a neighboring town when some plonker rear ended my car while I was stationary at the lights! Bumper dented and scratched. The car is owned by the Misses, now to come up with an excuse as to why I was somewhere different to where she thought! 

Maybe a mystery present pick up 

This is always my worst nightmare, when I’m somewhere I’m not supposed to be. In her car or mine. I got a speeding ticket through the post last year that had she got to the post first, could have been awkward! 

[Drayki]

On my way back from a punt today in a neighboring town when some plonker rear ended my car while I was stationary at the lights! Bumper dented and scratched. The car is owned by the Misses, now to come up with an excuse as to why I was somewhere different to where she thought! 

Maybe a mystery present pick up 

Get a claim in for whiplash tell your mrs that you’ll share it with her, might keep her off the scent 

[Home Alone]

This thread explains perfectly the main reason why I didn't start punting till nearly 2 years after the OH pissed off.

As I've said a number of times on here, I am such a rotten liar. I'd have started blushing at the first question in her cross-examination that I might as well have confessed to being a punter - pervert in her eyes - and have prepared myself.for the inevitable increase in her claims in the divorce settlement. The way things happened, at least the settlement was based on neither of us having been at fault.

[James]

Say you went to a car meet, they are just advertised on car forums so no chance of misses knowing. If cars are your interest.
i always use this excuse when i use other family members cars and they notice petrol/milage is higher.
like you i cant take my own car to punts, it stands out to much and im constantly worried it may get stolen etc.
So i use family members cars or trains
risky

[Blackpool Rock]

Unless you have no OH, family, friends or work colleagues, this is a scenario which could befall any punter.   Being caught out somewhere where you shouldn't be is a constant hazard and, as in this case, usually very difficult to explain.

Yeah i've often been out on business in a company car or rental and "got lost" as i'm coming up the M6 finally ending up at a parlour in Manchester or Bury. 
Often thought how I would explain being on the M62 heading in the wrong direction -
Got lost, don't think that would cut it.
Sat nav went nuts / programmed the wrong destination when I got back in the car after having stopped for a piss.
Got cut up by some twat who left the motorway too late and had to swerve to avoid being hit but it meant I also had to exit onto the other motorway, remember safety 1st 

Have to say whenever I finally got back on the M6 I always gave a sigh of relief

In this instance the special gift or I was trying to arrange something nice for you / an event is probably the best tact as it will throw her off but you also need to be a bit dejected about it like "knew I shouldn't have bothered" as this may bring her on side and stop any questions / nagging

[Stiltskin]

Just tell her it happened in the town/city you live in. Only the insurance company need know the true location surely 

If it's her car and her insurance it's her that needs to make the insurance claim. Someone else mentioned saying it happened in a carpark. This doesn't work either as he's making a claim against the guy that went into the back of him.

[cotton]

When your Mrs asks you suspiciously "what were you doing in suchandsuch road roger" you could always reply with thick sarcasm "oh just went to see the mistress dear , pisser about pranging the jalopi" You could make it a running joke whenever you left the house even for legit reasons "just off to see the mistress dear, back in 15" shed never suspect on the odd occasion you really were going to see a hooker.  Youd be invisible in plain sight.

[jeanphillipe]

"i know you felt sex was a chore, so i outsourced it to a foreigner" 

[king tarzan]

why the fuck do people have to justify or tell their other half where they are every time they go somewhere?

if i had a mrs and she was like that then she’d swiftly become an ex mrs 

Eye of the 🦁🥊🥊

[Jacques Barstarred]

Tell the fat bitch to mind her own fucking business. Tell her to get the car repaired pronto. And then tell her you wish you'd married her sister instead.

Go on, you know you want to...

[County Militia]

It would depend on your age and what hobbies you are into. But a good one if it would match is the CEX store in .... had the Blu-Ray/Hard drive/Raspberry Pi/Graphics Card and etc in stock.

The way they work is they have stores all over the country, and usually only one or two stores have the thing you want in stock so you need to do trips all the way there to that one store.

I go all over the place visiting these CEX's when I want something as I do not trust them to post it to me is not free and they almost always send the wrong thing and its a pain to return it.

The CEX website tells you which stores have certain items you want in stock.

CEX is awful, their staff are some of the most disinterested people out there. They have no idea how to engage with customers, they have half a dozen staff behind the counter but only one serving a queue of 30+ people at the stores I've been to.

When I used to play video games I'd usually find the discs I got there were scratched to hell and unplayable and I always found them to be pretty reluctant to give a refund. They usually claim ignorance when you call them out on a clearly faulty item.

They just don't give a damn and they can go fuck themselves!

[scutty brown]

It would depend on your age and what hobbies you are into. But a good one if it would match is the CEX store in .... had the Blu-Ray/Hard drive/Raspberry Pi/Graphics Card and etc in stock.

The way they work is they have stores all over the country, and usually only one or two stores have the thing you want in stock so you need to do trips all the way there to that one store.

I go all over the place visiting these CEX's when I want something as I do not trust them to post it to me is not free and they almost always send the wrong thing and its a pain to return it.

The CEX website tells you which stores have certain items you want in stock.

CEX is nothing more than a modern take on a pawnbroker, with all the shite service that implies.
If you told the missus you'd gone there, the first assumption would be that you had financial problems

[LLPunting]

CEX is nothing more than a modern take on a pawnbroker, with all the shite service that implies.
If you told the missus you'd gone there, the first assumption would be that you had financial problems

Not really because most people dumping stuff there have no intention of getting it back again, better off going to a pawnbroker's who might be more lax and have less competing product.
Back in the day, 20+ years ago, when I traded in games and PC components there they would check the disc surfaces and components before you got your money.  Always checked the discs before paying for games I bought there.
Ebay is probably the better option if you're selling on stuff in good nick, although there is the faff about postage and packing for transit.

[Home Alone]

Get a claim in for whiplash tell your mrs that you’ll share it with her, might keep her off the scent 

Let's hope that doesn't get Mrs OP thinking about domination!